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Historia rocked smoothly back and forth as the sun set in front of her. A beautiful scene of the golden hills flowing beneath the melting sun. A sweet breeze pushed her silky strands back from her face as she stared meaninglessly at the gorgeous sight. crickets chirping to a hidden melody out in the plains.
She smiled softly when her daughter, Amir ran into the picture, chasing an airborne leaf. Amir was five years old, just old enough to talk and slightly understand what she was saying.
She was Historia’s light, her happiness, her reason for living. She would have released herself a long time ago if she hadn’t given brith to the kindness, most protective, loving, and surprisingly, most understanding child in the world.
Historia would often cry at night, rereading a certain letter over and over again. One night, Amir came down from her room and spent the night comforting her mother. Everyday after that had gotten a little better.
Without the man who gave her Amir, she had to take care of everything by herself. It was her fault anyway, she had sent him away months before. She felt like she was betraying someone by giving him her time. She didn’t want him to become a father figure to Amir anyway. It didn’t feel right, her heart already belonged to someone.
Historia sighed and let her eyes wonder upwards towards the darkening night sky. She saw the faint traces of stars begin to show through the mix of pink and blue. The small grey dots reminded her every night of her lost love’s dotted cheeks.
‘Just let me forget already . . .’
She felt her aching heart weighing down her chest. Her throat choked up at the thoughts of the brunette. She wouldn’t let herself cry right now though. Not when Amir was so happy.
“Mommy, look! “ called the panting toddler running towards her.
Historia looked down as Amir stumbled up the wooden stairs towards her. She slowly opened her small clasped hands to reveal a butterfly, still beating its wings here and there.
“It’s very pretty honey. You should let it be free though. Too many people have been caged on this island. Don’t let that happen to this poor creature.”
The former queen reminded her daughter, gently scooping the delicate insect into her own palms. She stood from her chair and walked into the grass bare footed.
“Be free little one.” Historia whispered as she lifted her arms towards the changing sky.
Suddenly the blonde felt a firm tug at the bottom of her skirt. She pulled her eyes away from the mesmerizing stars to see Amir staring back at her with big golden eyes. She looked sad and confused.
“Mommy . . . Why do you always look sad when you look towards the dots in the sky?” The clueless (but adorable) child asked, obviously concerned for her mother, as usual.
Historia only smiled before replying,
“It’s getting dark. You wanna go in and get some dinner sweetie?”
The child only nodded, looking at the ground disappointingly. Historia knelt down and slipped her hand under the smaller’s chin and gently smiled at her. Amir’s eyes watered before tears started to swell in front of her shining pupils.
Historia sighed as the kid wiped her tears with the end of her sleeve. Before she could speak, Amir threw her tiny arms around her mother’s neck, trapping her in a hug. Historia felt the tight rope in her chest become even thinner, threatening to snap and cause her to feel something, to burst.
She swallowed the knot in her throat and wrapped her arms around her baby, hoisting her up and into her arms. They walked back to the house in a peaceful quiet, the only noise around being the chatter of bugs.
Historia set Amir down next to the back door of their log cabin, wiping her mostly dried tears away from her eyes. Amir smiled gratefully, leaning into the embracing warmth of her smooth hand.
“Run along now, Amir my precious. Set the table for mommy will you?” She asked, standing back up and slowly turning back to the pink-tainted clouds.
“Of course Mommy, I can do it!” Amir replied before trotting into the house.
Historia exhaled deeply, now alone with her thoughts. She walked forward before sitting down on the sturdy steps below her. She gazed back up towards the sky, the tight rope in her chest loosening ever so little.
She felt safe when she looked towards the never ending blue. She felt a warm spark in her broken heart flicker when the stars twinkled the way they always did. A spark that she hoped would one day would ignite her soul again.
The way it did for her one true love so many years ago . . .
Suddenly the door behind her slammed open, a distressed Amir falling out of it. Historia snapped back into reality, turning towards the loud noise quickly. Amir fell into her arms, her breathing stirred.
“Amir please! You’re going to hyperventilate! What’s wrong honey?” Historia cried, holding her frightened child tight.
Amir pulled away from her grasp, the hope in her once joyful eyes now clouded by fear.
“Mommy . . ! Th-There’s someone here!! In the front!” She cried, her arms trembling.
Historia had never seen her this scared. She had warned Amir of the dangers of Yeagerists finding their house but never thought she would get so upset. The blonde took a deep breath before exhaling sharply.
“Amir, I know you’re scared but we have to be brave now. Go inside and hide, don’t let them see you.” Historia commanded, holding her shoulders in a serious grip.
“O-Ok Mommy . . . I’ll try . . !” Amir guaranteed.
Historia nodded before letting her run back into the house. She quickly went to the side of their porch, moving a misleading brick to find a hidden shotgun. Grabbing the long weapon out from the crevice and cocking it roughly.
It was a big gun, but she had been practicing with it so that she could be ready for this day. If they found her . . .No. She wouldn’t let them take her. They would die before laying eyes on her baby.
Creeping around the side of the house, (still barefoot) Historia held the shotgun close to her chest. Her heart was thumping against her ribs, it felt like she was in the survey corps again. The sound of a horse neighing made her jump.
‘They’re on horses . . . Ok . . ‘ She thought, her breathing starting to quicken. They might already have the upper ground.
Historia swallowed dryly, gathering all the courage and training she had prepared for this moment. She turned the corner of the house, dropping to one knee before moving her finger to the trigger of the firearm.
Her eyes darted around the scene, there was only one horse and person in the front yard.
‘Maybe a scout? There could be a bigger group near . .’ She thought, locking her eyes on the human sitting atop the black horse.
Historia felt a sickening feeling creep up onto her shoulders. Why hadn’t they noticed her yet? More importantly, why hadn’t she shot them yet ? A distraction maybe?
It seemed like they were looking around the area, moving their head back and forth as if searching for something. It was hard to tell from the minimum lighting and the fact that they were wearing a raggedy hood over their head.
The sickening feeling she felt turned into a nerving anxiety when she realized that she recognized the horse.
‘That’s . . . That’s . . !’
She dropped the gun from her shoulder and strong grip. It was Ymir’s old horse. From eight years ago. Ymir . . . The Ymir. Her love, her first, and only love . . . Ymir.
Historia shook her head, The lump in her throat creeping back up. She felt like she was going to cry. No. She had to focus. Even if they had the horse, they were still an enemy to her life. Why weren’t they wearing the uniform then? If they were from the military . . . They would have the uniform. . . . Right?
No one knew of her location except Jean, Armin, Connie, Mikasa, and Sasha’s family. How did they find her? And why did they seem like they were looking around for a trace of something?
Historia shook her head and opened her eyes to see the person getting down from their horse. It was getting darker by the second. They started to walk to the house, then they picked up speed and began to run.
‘No! Amir!’ Historia panicked, jumping up and aiming the gun at the taller person, stopping them in their tracks.
“Stop!! I will shoot!!” She felt tears welling in her eyes from her stressed state. She had practiced this so she could take a life someday. But could she really do it?
“Hands up Bastard!!” She yelled, her finger feeling light on the trigger.
They slowly brought their hands up but stop to grab the edges of their hood. Historia panicked, gripping the gun tighter and closing one eye to focus her aim. She was about to pull the trigger when the quickly flipped the hood off.
Their identity was revealed. Historia’s jaw dropped as her eyes landed on the features of their face. She dropped the gun to her side, her body and mind in complete shock.
She stumbled forward, dropping the gun completely, (luckily the shot didn’t go off). She moved forward slowly, her arms unconsciously reaching out to grasp them. She had to make sure it was real.
They stayed put, not moving forward to meet Historia’s touch but not moving away either. Historia finally came close enough to touch the edge of their shirt, immediately grabbing a fistful of the fabric.
She looked up to see their face up close, her mind blank. The moment their eyes met . . . She knew . . . They were back.
“Y-Ymir . . . ?” Historia asked, her eyes stuck tracing the smalls dots sprinkled across their tan skin.
She looked back into the familiar bronze eyes, now glazed over with tears. She felt one of the drops fall against her cheek. It was real.
“YMIR!!” Historia screamed, throwing her arms around Ymir’s neck and pulling them close.
“H-Historia . . . I- I . . “ She heard the familiar cinnamon voice from years ago once again. She grasped onto the brunettes shoulders with an iron hold.
She was so confused and happy at the same time. She could feel Ymir breathing, talking, holding her! The string in her chest finally snapped, she couldn’t keep it in anymore.
Historia gripped Ymir’s shirt so hard her knuckles turned white. She let the flood of tears roll down her cheeks willingly. Ymir held her close, squeezing her tight in fear of her slipping away.
Historia’s breath hitched suddenly, she couldn’t hold in all of the exploding emotions inside her. It had to come out. No more hiding her true intentions.
She opened her mouth and let out a heart wrenching sob, Her shoulders and body trembling as she cried. She felt her knees go weak as the collisions of emotion hit her like a train. Ymir realized she was falling and settled them down on the ground more evenly.
Historia’s cries reduced to mere whimpers and sniffles, Ymir rubbing her back soothingly. Historia swallowed hard, still trying to understand what had just happened. They gently parted but didn’t let go of each other completely.
Historia slid her hands from Ymir’s back to her fore arms, not wanting to break physical contact with her ever again. They held each other for a while, not saying anything but incoherent mumbles from Historia.
She moved her hands up to Ymir’s face, gently holding and caressing her cheeks. Ymir closed her eyes, leaning into one side of the soft touch. A single long tear escaping from the middle of her closed eye.
‘She’s just like Amir . . .’ Historia couldn’t help but notice, feeling the tear run along the side of her thumb.
Her eyes landed on Ymir’s lips as the brunette continued to let tears fall from her glossy eyelashes. Historia felt her heart sigh in a relief and sad felt way. She smiled before leaning forward and closing the space between their lips.
Ymir’s eyes shot open,
Historia kissed her? She waited for her all this time? Was this . . .real?
The freckled girl let her eyes close and leaned into the kiss. It made her heart flutter and warmed her core. She wanted it to last forever.
Ymir slid her hands to Historia’s waist, tracing every curve she felt. She slipped her hands under the blonde’s thighs and hoisted her up and into her lap. Historia locked her legs around Ymir’s waist, locking them together.
Ymir sighed contently as Historia ended their loving kiss. The former queen smiled, breathing heavily. Ymir blinked a couple times, still holding the girl close. She was in shock, it was all happening so fast.
One moment she was in a desert, staring into the diamond-like sky. Next thing she knew, a child held their hand out to her and she was waking up in the back of a horse stable. She felt a force pulling her will to move in a certain direction. She found her former horse and a covering disguise and rode into the direction that felt right.
Now she was here. She found her Krista, she found her queen and she would never let go. She had no idea how any of this had happened but she was here. She had a chance to fix her mistakes and redo her regrets.
She smiled at those wonderful ocean eyes. So pure and full of love. Oh how she had missed them. Historia giggled, tears still streaming down both of their faces. No words would explain how they felt at that moment.
Ymir stood up, pulling Historia up with her, still sitting in her arms. They both began to laugh, the night sky beginning to engulf the suns rays overhead. Fireflies glowed around them, the stars and clear shining heavens illuminating the scene.
Ymir spun them around laughing and sobbing at the same time. The two crashed into another desperate kiss. The two breathless and flustered girls stopped for a moment, Ymir setting Historia down carefully.
Historia slid her hands into Ymir’s, intertwining their fingers gently. She sighed happily, not caring if this was a dream. She had Ymir in her hands. She wouldn’t let go, even if that meant never waking up at all.
“I’m so sorry Historia . . . Even if you can’t forgive me . . I want to stay by your side forever . . . I’ll never leave again. I promise.” Ymir whispered, her heart throbbing with guilt and joy at the same time.
“You better not . . .Because you still have to marry me you big dummy . .” The smaller responded, between hiccups and giggles.
Ymir looked down at her with a shocked expression. She still wanted that? After all this time?
“O-Of course . . !” She said, trying to hold back the tears flooding her eyes.
The brunette pulled Historia in, locking their lips together again. She couldn’t get enough of the feeling. The sky broke out into a billion stars and lights as the sun finally died behind the mountains.
The two broke, Historia taking a short breath before peppering kissing all along Ymir’s cheeks. Ymir flushed a deep pink seeing Historia’s cute behavior.
“I’ve always wanted to do that . . “ The shorter giggled.
“God I’ve missed you so much . . “ Ymir admitted, moving her hands to Historia’s waist and yanking her into a hug.
“Not as much as I have . . .” Historia whispered, getting on her tipy-toes to lean her chin on Ymir’s shoulder.
Ymir took a deep breath of Historia’s lavender scent. She squeezed her waist protectively.
Suddenly the two heard a loud bang from behind them. They both jumped, pulling away from the hug and clasping each other’s hand tight instead. Historia gasped realizing she had forgot about Amir.
The little girl, knife held between her fists, started to run at the two.
“Get away from my mommy!!” The toddler screamed furiously, wielding the sharp object with the intent to kill.
Historia swallowed and let go of Ymir to run in front of her determined daughter. She hoped when she turned back around that her love would still be standing there.
“Amir please! It’s ok! She’s a friend, not an enemy!!” She said, throwing her arms out to shield the brunette behind her.
Amir squinted her eyes, glaring and tightening her grip on the weapon. Ymir looked down at her with a confused stare, almost matching her own scowl. The child sighed, dropping the knife and collapsing into her mother’s arms.
“Shh . . . It’s ok. Everything is fine . . “ Historia cooed, holding her daughter close and smoothing her hair back. Amir sniffled into Historia’s shoulder, hiding her face from sight. Historia picked her up and turned towards Ymir.
“This is Amir . . . “ She swallowed dryly, a sense of fear filling her.
“My . . . Daughter.” She pushed the words out of her mouth.
She watched as Ymir’s face changed from confusion to a mix of concern and surprise shielding a dash of betrayal. Ymir looked at the ground, her fists balling together tightly.
“Ymir . . . I-“ Historia was cut off by her,
“It’s ok Historia. I . . . I just want to understand.” the brunette sighed, looking towards the ground.
Historia winced at how quickly the mood changed. She opened her mouth to say something but the only words that came to mind were:
‘I had to.’
‘It was my duty as Queen’
‘For my people I made sacrifices’
‘It was a mistake.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
She bite her lip, crunching the words up in her mind like paper. How could she say it was a mistake? Amir was her mistake child? No. She loved her baby more then anything she knew was real at the moment. Even if she didn’t love the person who gave it to her.
Suddenly the silence was broken by a small, adorable voice.
“How do you know my mommy’s real name?” It was Amir. She had peeked out of her hiding spot to murmur something.
The two women thought for a moment. The little girl’s voice reminding them of a memory so long ago.
‘Ymir . . .My real name is Historia.’
The two looked at each other, their gazes locking as if they could both see the memory. Ymir looked solemnly into Historia’s deep, swirling blue eyes, searching for something.
She exhaled softly, her sad face fading into a grin as she looked up at Amir’s half hidden face. Amir pushed her head back into Historia’s chest, her blondish hair whipping around her head.
Ymir chuckled softly, Historia smiling before stroking her fingers through the girl’s soft hair. Amir slowly turned back towards the freckled lady, her shyness retreating.
Ymir hold out her palm invitingly with a gentle expression as not to scare the child anymore. Amir looked up to her mother who nodded approvingly before slowly sliding her hand onto Ymir’s.
It was warm. Her arm had light dots scattered here and there going up and under her sleeves. Her skin was a little darker then her own but Amir didn’t question it. She actually thought this strange woman was quite beautiful. She could see why her mother didn’t think she was a threat either.
It seemed like they knew each other. She had been watching form inside the window and it looked like her mother was happy to see this lady. They even kissed! Something she had only seen in books. She had never seen her mother kiss anyone else before.
She was the only one who got affection from her. The man who use to come around and live in the house with them barely got any affection or attention form her. He seemed to really want it though. The memories were hazy in Amir’s mind.
“I like your dots!” Amir exclaimed, her tiny fingers wrapping around Ymir’s index.
The two older women giggled at the girl’s comment, the tension lifting from the air. Ymir looked at Historia again. This time her eyes showed passion and love, reflecting the deep oceans that were Historia’s irises.
“Who’s the father?” Ymir asked, her smile turning neutral as she watched Amir play with her hand.
Historia looked upwards and into the starry night. She felt a lot of pain and sadness leave her shoulders. She had Ymir. She found her love. It was going to be okay.
“He was a kid from my childhood. He use to throw rocks at me form outside the fence in my yard. He was only helping me with my duty-“
“He threw rocks at you?! What the hell?! Where is this ass? I have a little surprise for him . .” Ymir snapped, cutting Historia off.
The two were about to break into an argument when they heard laughter. Historia looked down at Amir, (who she was still holding) as she was going to say something back to Ymir.
“You’re funny! I like you lady! Oh!! Can I come and give him a surprise too?” The toddler asked, balling her hands into fists and raising them into a fighting stance.
Historia sighed, shaking her head with a smile. Ymir laughed and leaned down to whisper something to the little girl
“Oh don’t worry girly. I’m gonna make sure he gets what he deserved even if your mom doesn’t like it.” The brunette smirked, winking playfully at Amir.
Historia sighed, pushing Amir back onto her hip to keep her from slipping. Ymir joked to her daughter who was laughing and giggling like Historia had never seen before. Then she realized something.
“That- Er...those were actually my first real kisses Ymir . .” Historia said out loud, her cheeks burning.
Ymir’s eyes widened before she smirked triumphantly.
“Ha! So you only have eyes for me, eh’? I’m glad, if you had kissed him, I woulda’ killed that bastard!” Ymir said, laughing.
“That’s your name? ‘Ymir’?” Amir asked, visible confusion in her eyes.
“But . . . But that’s my name!” She shouted, her eyes getting puffy.
“No, no, no! Honey, your name is “Uh-Mir”. Her name is “Yu-Mir”. They’re different, see?” Historia comforted her daughter, trying to keep her from crying.
Ymir was a little surprised. She didn’t expect Historia to remember her after all this time. Much less wait to find love again. Even less to name her first born child after her!!
She couldn’t restrain herself. She leaned over and landed a gently peck against the blonde’s soft lips. So much pride and joy were swirling in her chest she felt like she would explode with euphoria.
Amir looked shocked. She had just witnessed their love up close. Very, up close. It was . . . Interesting. She was a curious child, Just like her mother.
Historia blushed gently before slowly placing Amir onto the ground. Amir looked at her with a disappointed frown from below. Ymir was rubbing the back of her neck and quietly apologizing, getting ready for some kind of bump from the girl.
Instead she felt a yank of her collar before their lips collided again, Amir gasping from her front row seat of “The L word”. Ymir moved her hands to Historia’s cheeks, pulling her closer as they chased each other’s touch.
“Ew!! Stop kissing and stuff!! It’s gross!!” The toddler squirmed from next to them.
The two giggled profusely, knowing she wasn’t being homophobic, she was just being child.
“Mommy’s gonna talk with the nice lady for a little, ok Baby? Why don’t you go inside and put out another plate for her?” Historia asked, her hands thrown behind
Ymir’s neck.
“Ok . . . Bleh.” She said, making more puking sounds as she walked towards the house.
The two women watched her as she closed the wooden door behind her, light’s filling the house soon after.
Ymir leaned down for another kiss before Historia whispered something. Ymir lifted her head, confused at what Historia had mumbled. She ran her palms down the shorter’s side’s, tracing the curves again as she rested her hands on the girl’s hips.
“What?” She asked, hoping for a repeat.
“Stay with us.” Historia said louder, her words clear and serious.
Ymir was quiet. Historia fumbled with the clip holding the brunette’s hair back until it opened, releasing her wolf cut down and around her neck. The girl moved closer, hugging her arms around Ymir’s back and rubbing her soothingly. Just as she had done to her.
“Please. Please stay. We can be a family. Please. Let’s get married and live on this farm for as long as you like. Just . . “ she trailed off, taking a deep breath of Ymir’s scent before sighing contently.
“Just don’t leave again. I need you here. Forever.” Historia confessed, a wave of emotion washing over her body.
“I will. “ Ymir answered.
“What?” Historia asked, pulling away from the hug to see her lover’s face.
“I’ll stay. Forever. No one will ever separate us or hurt you or our family, ever again. Alright? I promise that to you . . . My dear Historia.”
This time, it was Historia who stole the kiss.