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“Let’s go somewhere.” The air is cold, and steams over Su Fang’s words. It’s only the beginning of autumn, but the leaves of the Halidom are already inked with red.
"Where to?" Ku Hai responds, as he steps over a protruding tree root. Su Fang, following behind, is not so attentive, stumbling.
"Ouch! What about the ocean? I haven 't gotten the chance to see it yet."
The ocean. Ku Hai stirs the thought for a bit. Peng Lai, while beautiful, is landlocked. He’s seen the ocean of course, throughout his journey. He doesn’t think it’s all that interesting, but it’s natural for Su Fang to harbor other feelings. After all, he’s never seen the young man outside of Peng Lai until now. “Alright. We leave at dawn.”
The tip of Su Fang’s smile turns sly. “A date then?”
“A promise.” He corrects the choice of words. It’s the least he can do, after everything Su Fang has done.
They leave at dawn, as promised.
“There’s a place where you can see the ocean some ways to the South, about a 3-days distance.” Ku Hai elaborates on the way. He’s in his normal ‘traveling’ attire, exact to the tiny bag of change around his waist. Su Fang has even less, that is to say nothing. “Are you sure in your decision to not pack anything?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m okay.” The artisan falls quiet.
“Suit yourself.” The morning sun is starting to rise, making the leaves of the forest shine. “What is it that you want to do with the ocean anyway?”
“Huh? I didn’t think about that yet…” Su Fang hums. “Maybe just admire the view.”
It's odd, traveling with someone else. Maybe that is why his mind can’t seem to rest. They continue to make their way through the forest. Through the forest is a village, and then they’d have to go around a mountain. It’d be a long detour, but it works.
Something sticks to his mind. The sudden request of Su Fang. How he doesn’t seem to be prepared for travelling at all. The lack of any pyro-blossom equipment. A deliberate step on the forest floor. It’s rude to assume.
Keep calm. Even breaths, in and out. He’s been traversing the land for a long time. Keeping a steady head while traveling is basically a routine. This is merely an escort for a dear friend, who he owes many debts to. A friend, who has patiently waited for his return even when it wasn’t ever promised.
A sharp smell of gunpowder. He turns his head, and Su Fang meets his eyes with a sheepish grin. “Sorry, I always have a packet on me.” The swordsman’s gaze lingers on the white paper square in his hand. He knows that if he looked closer, he would also see the black stains on the other’s fingers as well.
He doesn’t, looking ahead. “As long as you’re not smoking it.”
Su Fang laughs, the first time today. “That’s a good one!”
“...” Ku Hai mutely makes his way forward. That’s just how he was, as a person. “Why did you ask me to accompany you?”
The man behind him makes a puzzled sound. “Because you’re my friend?”
There isn’t much Ku Hai can say to that. There’s something he still can’t shake off though.
The moment they set foot in a village, rain starts to fall from the sky.
“Just in the nick of time, huh?” Su Fang asks. They’re still outside, under the pyro-artisan’s insistence( It’ll calm down soon, I’m sure of it! ), taking cover under a jutting roof of an inn. “Can’t have my gunpowder get too damaged.”
“..But you don’t have any pyro-blossom equipment.” Ku Hai states his observation.
“Aha. Well. Yeah, but, you know.” Through the stuttering, Su Fang’s face is pale. The air starts smelling like water and gunpowder.
His sword presses against his thigh. “I’m guessing...matters aren’t that simple.” There is nothing he can say. Out of everyone else, he alone doesn’t have the right to ask. He, who swore to cut all ties with things like people. The wet dirt grinds under his soles. It hasn’t even been a year since he decided against that path. But it seems like it’s too little, too late.
The sky rumbles. Is that why Su Fang had asked him to come along? Because he couldn’t ask anything?
“It’s nothing serious. Sorry for making you worry.” Su Fang speaks up, breaking the awkward silence. He takes a little breath. “It’s something to do with my father.”
“...” Ku Hai already knows that Su Fang’s parents have passed. He’s starting to think his guess is correct, there aren't a lot of people with that information. “..Your father must have liked the ocean.”
“Don’t know. Never asked.”
He blinks. “Then why?”
“I..I’ve followed my father’s footsteps for a long time.” The look on the artisan’ face darkens, as he stares at the clouds. They’re a poor shade of grey, casting shadows on the ground in a disarray. “This is something I have to do for myself.”
‘Something I have to do for myself’ . Seeing Su Fang’s resolve always surprised him. It shouldn’t though, the young man was more than capable of many things. “It’s getting cold.” Ku Hai takes a hold of the other’s wrist. He’ll gladly be the helper that Su Fang needs, not just with directions but with his silence as well. “Let us go inside. We’ll move when the rain clears up.”
“Wh-Um, yeah. That sounds good.” As they head in, the sudden indoors light almost seems to turn the tip of Su Fang’s ears pink.
Father. I no longer feel like I’m spiting you, and I finally know the truth about your words. I have to let you go. So you and I both can be free. Maybe I already have. Maybe I’m talking to no one.
What do I do now---
“Watch your step.”
“Ah-thanks. Completely missed that rock.” There’s been a change of plans. Instead of taking the detour around, Su Fang had asked if they could scale the mountain. Normally, he wouldn’t have agreed, it had just rained after all, but he was a helper in this mission after all. Luckily, the mountain isn’t very big.
“This mountain is known to harbor pits, we have to be careful.” It wasn’t his place to ask why the man was hurrying so much. The swordsman is familiar with urgency.
Su Fang nods. He seems a little tired, but Ku Hai knows unwanted rest would only make the unrest of the heart larger.
Lifting the lantern higher, the two of them continue going up. The sun was already setting, a bad sign. They’d have to get as close to the summit as they can, while there’s still light. Even with his role, he couldn’t ignore the dangers of moving in the dark. All of this is enough to keep him occupied, but his mind still isn’t clear. What really is the pyro-artisan’s goal? What are the motivations behind his mission? Something to do with Su Fang’s father. Inadvertently he thinks of Master Xuan, and shakes his head.
“What’s the ocean like?”
“Hm?”
“Just wanted to hear your thoughts. Since you’ve seen it and all.”
“It’s big. And pretty blue.” Ku Hai realizes how ridiculous that sounds and tips his hat, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m probably not the best person to answer this question.”
“No, it’s alright. I wanted to hear your thoughts.”
He takes a glance behind him. Su Fang doesn’t seem to notice, staring out into the distance. With the shadows hiding the artisan’s features, he almost looks completely foreign. “..Thanks for accepting my request so readily. This entire trip, I definitely couldn’t have gotten this far without you.”
Ku Hai works hard to find the right words. He hasn’t been one to comfort others. “I simply accepted a request from a friend, that’s all.”
The man following him laughs, in earnest. “Didn’t know you can be such a smooth talker, Ku hai.”
“...” It’s a good thing it’s getting late.
They see the sunlight glazing the ocean when they wake up.
“It’s really there..!” Ku Hai hears a breathless voice next to him. “Even when we’re all the way up here..”
“I didn’t know you could see the ocean from this mountain. We got lucky.” He admits. Even though he doesn’t harbor any particular feelings, he can’t help but think the sight is beautiful. “It’s a good view.”
Su Fang is silent, as he continues staring. With the morning light, the look on his face is clear this time.
He shouldn’t be saying anything. He’s supposed to be a silent watcher.
He’s never seen Su Fang look that lost before. “You don’t look very well.”
A laugh. “I’d imagine.” The young man doesn’t turn around.
“..Truth be told, I think I hated my father for a very long time. Maybe I still do. But I can’t go living like that. I know that, but I can’t help being scared.” The words pile up between them, like falling snow. “What if I find nothing out there? Nothing to really prove that I’m here or not.”
There aren’t any words in his head when he takes a hold of Su Fang’s hand. Their fingers are cold, in his grasp.
“Wh-Ku Hai, are you alright?” The artisan’s expression is quickly replaced with alarm. “You look like you’re about to-”
“Don’t..” His tongue is thick in his mouth. The people he knew and loved. The bitter taste of an imaginary pool of rust. No more. “You’re here.”
The man blinks, mouth slightly ajar. Then his lips purse, as if thinking. “I wanted to see the ocean because it was something unrelated. Something I never even thought of before. Maybe I can find some kind of answer here, where I don’t feel like there’s lead in my blood.” Another cold hand lays itself on top of the swordsman’s.
“I can’t say I found all the answers..but talking to you helps.”