Work Text:
What-if IKEAland:
Ren:
Who let him off the leash... He’s wholesomely running around admiring all the furniture, forgetting that Argonavis actually went to IKEA to shop. The pet product section catches his eye and he's over there within an instant. He spots a cute pet bed for Pon-chan and begs Rio to buy it out of the band budget. Rio, of course, denies his begging since Pon-chan already has an assortment of toys and beds; at this rate there'll be no room in the share house for the rest of them.
Yuuto:
He’s in the hat section. If there isn’t one, there now is. He’s buying multiple KNORVA Bucket Hats to add to his hideous hat collection. After that, he's most likely trying to find the rest of Argonavis after losing them in the maze of Billy Bookcases, regretting the fact that he hadn't been leading them from the very start of the trip.
Wataru:
He decided to follow Rio for some reason, ignoring the fact that 3/5ths of the band had disappeared to do their own thing. At the same time he’s getting annoyed with Rio for pronouncing every Swedish word perfectly. They’re also subconsciously composing music and telepathically arguing.
Banri:
This man is literally dirt poor, coupons spewing from his pockets, most of them probably being fake or expired. What’s he doing here? Anyway, Banri continuously approaches the cow-themed objects like a moth to light. He occasionally says something annoying. He puts the ‘Troll’ in ‘Troll’berget Desk Chair.
Rio:
He’s taking the IKEA visit seriously. Rio is carefully considering what the band needs and doesn’t need. He’s basically the leader of this trip, but of course he sometimes averts his attention to the Bekvam Spice Rack, contemplating on buying it for containing his curry spices.
Far Away at IKEA:
Nayuta:
He simply isn't there. Why would he tag along to a useless IKEA visit?
Kenta:
If Nayuta was here, Kenta would be tending to his every need. However, the vocalist had decided not to come so Kenta simply walked with Ryo whilst committing to his usual intel-gathering on rival bands. He doesn't consider buying anything, since there really isn't a need for any Satsumas Plant Stands or Hovet Mirrors in the share house, but the Hutten Wine Rack interests him.
Reon:
He's subconsciously annoyed at Nayuta for not joining them on the trip. After holding back from directly confronting him, Reon finally got pulled along by the rest of GYROAXIA to IKEA. The air conditioning within the store was too cold for his liking and the entire experience felt too much like babysitting Miyuki and Ryo instead of purchasing what the band needed.
Ryo:
IKEA apparently doesn't exist on his 'home planet' so he's taking his time being awed by the conglomerate. He's being closely monitored by both Kenta and Reon (who are also keeping an eye on Miyuki) as he explores the different departments. By the end of the visit, his arms are full of a wide variety of different objects including scented candles, potted plants, and multiple packets of candy that he picked up from the food market, of which he plans to share with everyone when they return to the share house.
Miyuki:
You just know he's constantly flirting with the female employees... He instantly split away from Kenta and the others and is flirtingly offering help to any females in the store, much to Reon's displease. Miyuki isn't even bothering with buying anything from IKEA, and instead gains a large group of women that won't stop following him around.
Into the IKEA:
Felix:
He quite literally broke into the restaurant kitchen. The rest of Fantôme Iris tried their best to keep him away, but to no avail he's now cooking something with unusual ingredients. IKEA employees are desperately trying their best to stop him but somehow he's already mixed the ingredients and is cooking the mixture. Anyway, the kitchen set on fire and he immediately got kicked out.
Tomoru:
He fell asleep on the display beds. As soon as Jun suddenly disappeared somewhere, Tomoru listened to his instincts and headed over to the bedroom department. He didn’t even find time to pull the cover over him and instead fell face first on a cheap bed, arms sprawled out like some species of starfish; being a corporate slave takes a toll on him.
Jun:
Honestly? After somehow getting split from the rest of Fantôme Iris, he’s lost. Within that time period he’s also managed to trip over at least 372938 different things including a Tokig Salad Spinner, Krispig Cake Carrier, and the infamous Tekla Dish Towel. His obvious bad luck doesn’t seem to be improving after getting hit by a flying Lennart Drawer Unit.
Koharu:
He's trying to keep everyone together, but they all end up going separate ways. Koharu instead sticks with Daimon since he knows the others are hopeless, and that Felix had already been kicked out by now. At the end of the shopping trip, he’s picked up a few essential items that may prove useful for the entire band. He’s already death-glared multiple people, whom he thought had looked at him in bad taste, and had presented his IKEA discount coupon to a cashier. Turns out the coupon, was in fact, a 25% discount instead of 50% and the furious Koharu had to be pried away from the conveyor belt before he jumped over it, with a Fixa cordless screwdriver in hand, and gave the cashier a piece of his mind.
Daimon:
He's automatically drawn to the barista related products. After filling his cart with an array of dispensers, cutlery and filters, he began to travel to a different department. Daimon noticed that he went past a large shelf filled with stuffed toys and, once he had finished looking left and right to make sure no one was watching, he backtracked to observe them.
IKEA Rizing:
Fuuta:
He’s in a shopping cart being pushed around by Misaki, often singing lyrics at the top of his lungs. Neither of them are paying much attention to the shopping list Aoi wrote, but instead causing mayhem by accidentally crashing into the Terje Folding Chair displays. The IKEA staff are stressed out by their actions and promptly chase them around the store. Security eventually comes along and Fuuta apologises for his and Misaki’s behaviour. Of course, they’re both kicked out, all the while grinning at the children who were smiling back at them for turning their IKEA shopping trip into something more fun.
Aoi:
Much to their dismay, they lost the shopping list after giving it to Fuuta and is on the verge of a breakdown as they see him and Misaki getting dragged out by angry security. After regaining composure, they decided to forget about those two and find Kohei. Aoi already knew Yamato would behave well, for now, but worried about Kohei’s superhuman strength against the Glasholm Tabletops.
Yamato:
He’s messing around with the settings on multiple different rice cookers. Staff ask him if he needs any advice or help and he simply responds with “no rice, no life” as they back away slowly, confused. There are little, or no, thoughts running through his head as he stares at the Oumbarlig 7-Piece Cookware Set.
Kohei:
This man had already started to accidentally play dominoes with the Kallax Shelves. Nearly everything he touched either fell over or broke, and by now he was getting upset with his strength. Kohei had already broken multiple things and promised staff that he would pay for it all. He got the feeling Aoi wouldn’t be very happy and that the share house would unfortunately be full of destroyed Gulliver Cribs, broken Pax Wardrobes and an array of multiple splintered shelves.
Misaki:
Whilst pushing Fuuta around in the cart, he managed to grab handfuls of stuffed toys, throwing them in the air for kids to catch. He knew that he probably wasn’t setting the best example with his current behaviour, but at least the children looked amused; the same thing couldn’t be said for the staff though. After getting kicked out with Fuuta, they both continued their shenanigans and took turns pushing each other in the shopping cart in the busy IKEA car park.
End of IKEA:
Shu:
He dragged Reiji to the cafe to buy orange juice. You already know what happened. Both of them re-emerged in the entrance of IKEA; the oldest of the two drenched in juice and the youngest laughing evilly. Shu eventually decides to leave Reiji alone for some time and decides to explore the different departments.
Haruka:
He has no interest in IKEA at all. However, after finding out that the cafe has an ice cream machine, he immediately heads there, hopefully out of the way of his brother. After waiting in a queue for an irritating amount of time, Haruka’s patience pushes through and he gets the ice cream he deserves.
Kanata:
He’s following Haruka around, as per usual. This man is literally hiding in a Brankis Laundry Basket around every corner to jump out and surprise his brother. Haruka soon emerges from the cafe, ice cream in hand, and Kanata launches himself towards him, causing a scene and Haruka’s long awaited ice cream to drop dramatically to the floor.
Reiji:
He’s suffering. After making countless attempts to lose Shu near the SMÅLAND Play Area, he eventually gives up and succumbs to the child’s bullying. Occasionally he spots something on a shelf that piques his interest, but decides to keep a close eye on the bands vocalist, preventing anything from getting out of hand.
Tadaomi:
He’s walking around wondering where Reiji went once being dragged away by Shu. After seeing a group of people who were heavily interested in the furniture, Tadaomi begins to observe them, wondering why they were inspecting a Skadis Pegboard Organiser in such detail.