Chapter Text
Catra leans over, staring at her alarm clock. 4:07 am, it reads. She groans softly, rubbing her temples. Sleeping next to her on the bed is Adora, so Catra carefully creeps out of the bed, trying not to wake up the blonde woman. Lately Catra had been finding it difficult to sleep, she kept waking up during the night. She could definitely tell you that ceasing to sleep well for five straight days was just horrific. The feline walked to the bathroom, leaning over the sink to splash her face with cold water. Cold. She flinched, wiping her face with a towel and blinking her eyes quickly before squinting at herself in the mirror.
So many flaws. The way her freckles spread across her face abnormally even, the different colors of her eyes, the unevenness of her bright teeth. The small acne dots on parts of her face- although barely visible- that resided there from her teen years. Little flaws everywhere that Catra couldn't help but point out to herself, even though Glimmer had told her just yesterday that everyone has flaws- and that it's okay.
Part of Catra aches when she thinks of Glimmer, mostly because Glimmer was so strong. She wanted to be strong and able to take care of herself and others, like Glimmer. Heck- The whole Brightmoon Kingdom was being taken care of by Glimmer, with the exception of some things being handled by her Aunt Catsa and Dad. Still, Catra would never admit this, but she admired Glimmer. It was a secret that she would surely take with her to the grave. An embarrassing one that just could not be revealed.
"Flaws, Catra.. They are in everyone. It's just nature. And those flaws are what make us beautiful, you know." Glimmer had told her.
Did she believe it? No. Flaws corrupt people, don't they? Isn't that nature?
But who is really perfect?
Catra peeked at Adora, watching the blonde as she slept. For once in Adora's life- she looked peaceful. It was comforting watching Adora's back expand and contract gently as she breathed in and out. Yeah, Adora isn't perfect either. She's full of flaws. Catra thought to herself. A warmth spread in Catra's chest, making her dizzy. Adora was beautiful, wasn't she? Beautiful in every way.
Shutting the bathroom door softly and sinking to the floor, Catra sighed. Today would mark the third attempt of therapy for Catra. Glimmer and Adora had suggested it, Bow recommended it, and the judge at Catra's hearing (another long story) ordered it. She had just recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and ADHD. They already gave her medication for her BPD, and she had been taking it for two weeks.
Catra clattered gently with the pills in her drawers underneath the sink- she kept them there because even though her friends knew she was on medication, it still hurt her pride to leave them out in the open. So now, at 4:21 am Catra swallowed one of the tiny white tablets. Funny how one little pill could make such a huge difference in her life.
"Catra? Are you in there?" Adora's gentle voice came from outside the bathroom, the blonde gave a gentle knock on the door. Catra quickly put away the pill bottles and tried to relax more.
"Yeah." Catra said, opening the door for Adora. Adora walked inside, seeing the feline on the bathroom floor and sliding down to sit with her.
"You okay? It's pretty early to be awake," said Adora. Catra chuckled at this, because they both used to wake up at this time all the time back when they were in the Horde... Catra frowns.
"Yeah. Hard to sleep." Catra replied, scratching her arms. She doesn't want to remember The Horde. Or anything about Ethera before She-Ra defeated Lord Prime. It was too disturbing. Too.. Sicking.
"I see." Adora whispered, sliding an arm around Catra. Catra let her head tilt back, resting it on the door.
"Yeah. I gotta get ready. For the appointment, I mean. It's at 8:30 and I have things to do before then." Catra huffed, getting up rather quickly and exiting the bathroom.
"Oh.. Alright."
"Oh no! I insist that you call me Deb instead! All my friends do!" Her first therapist, Dr. Collins had practically shrieked.
"We. Are. Not. Friends!" Catra hissed, scraping her nails on Dr. Collins' desk. The older woman with purple skin flinched, pushing up her pointed glasses only for them to fall back down. Catra wiped her face, gritting her teeth.
"Is that a decision made by you? What if I would like to be friends with-"
"You don't. Now back off."
"I don't think that's very nice, Catra. You need to think of what you say before you actually say it. You could hurt people's feelings," Dr. Collins stated, furrowing her eyebrows. Catra slammed her hand on Dr. Collins' desk.
"SHUT UP!" She hissed, "I'm NOT calling you DEB! We are NOT friends! I DON'T want to be here."
"That's not your decision, dah-ling. It's court ordered."
"I KNOW it's COURT ORDERED!! WHY do you THINK I'm here??"
"...Miss Catra, you need to take a seat." Catra was now standing up, her hands on the desk. The feline banged her left palm on the desk roughly, glaring at the therapist.
"Don't tell me what to do," Catra said, rather calmly after taking a breath, "I'm leaving."
5:02 am. Catra was sitting with Melog, running her fingers through the cat's fur. Adora had gone back to bed, leaving Catra alone with her thoughts. Was that smart of Adora? Probably not. Did Catra appreciate it? Yeah. She did.
There was a notebook lying on the ground. A faded gray notebook with a few scratch marks on it. It was Catra's notebook.
Although it may sound completely and utterly cliche, Catra wrote poetry. It helped calm her down. It was a coping mechanism she found in a self-help book. Of course, she never told anyone she wrote poetry, much less that she also read self-help books. Another embarrassing secret she didn't want to tell.
Down I go
My emotions overflow
If only I could grow
As a person you'll be
So dead to me
I wanted to see you go
Catra often found herself writing about someone she surprisingly missed. Really, it was funny. Up until this person's death, she kind-of.. Hated them.