Chapter Text
He remembered his mother's eyes most - soft and kind and always safe. It was a certain kind of warmth Bucky hadn't found anywhere else.
He wondered what her reaction would be - her little James growing up to live the life he had. A glance at the mirror and he saw the lines, scars laced with regret and guilt.
What would she think?
"Ma," a feather light touch to his cheek. Warm eyes brimmed with tears, love never left.
"Oh, sweetheart." A crack in her voice, he felt a lump form in his throat. "What happened to you?"
"I-" his own voice threatened to betray him. Bucky couldn't look his own mother in the eye.
Her thumb swiped away a tear while her cheeks stained. Hurt in her expression and he couldn't dare imagine seeing her happy anymore.
"'M sorry," a sob. Arms wrapped over shoulders, he didn't want her to feel the metal. "I'm so sorry, ma."
He felt himself sink to the floor, bathroom tiles like ice against bare skin. His own arms trying to replicate a love that wasn't there.
Sobs echoed, breathing became hard and he felt so stupid because all he wanted was her.
"I'm so so sorry."