Archive of Our Own ^beta

It wouldn’t happen if Toast and Sykkuno had better control on their impulses. But they were two very broke college students who each had an expensive fix of a hobby. Toast couldn’t stop collecting jewelry and clothes and absolutely refused to acknowledge that his trade investment was going nowhere. Sykkuno collected knives like a particularly devoted serial-killer, and visited the tattoo parlor every three months like clockwork. None of their part-time salaries covered their excessive spending.

Sure, they were hardened war veterans in withholding their desire to eat proper food, but sometimes eating noodles got so sickening and Sykkuno looked about ready to cry if he had to eat stale bread one more time. They had to think of a solution, and quickly if they still wanted to live past twenty-five.

It also wouldn’t happen if Toast wasn’t a weak motherfucker and Sykkuno wasn’t a sly motherfucker who knew which button to push to get Toast caving in. As it was, he was doomed and broke and Sykkuno was grinning happily when Toast sighed and took him to a café near their dorm. He checked his balance through mobile banking and almost passed out from the horror of the pitiful numbers. At least it’d be enough to get Sykkuno pork cutlets, and Toast could just… order some noodles. He was sure Sykkuno would be willing to share. Or maybe not; that boy was particularly protective of his food.

But, ultimately, it would have gone nowhere if the waitress didn’t cheerily mistake them as couples.

“We have a special discount today for couples!” she said, beaming at them when Sykkuno whined and kept tugging at Toast’s shirt for the extra-large serving of pork cutlets. This motherfucker should learn some limits. But he could understand why the waitress thought they were together.

Because Toast and Sykkuno had long since gotten used to the habit of sitting next to each other, everywhere. It was easier to sit together in the crowded bus, in the class, in the restaurants where they could whisper in each other’s ears to gossip and giggle about someone’s atrociously half-bleached hair. Not to mention that Sykkuno—shy, gentle, easily flustered Sykkuno—had approximately zero shame when he was hungry, or when he wanted something. So they were pressed together, Sykkuno halfway to his lap from how close he was to strangling Toast for denying him the extra-large bowl.

They looked at each other, and Toast could see that Sykkuno was about to stutter and say something to correct the misunderstanding. But Toast was hungry, and Sykkuno wanted an extra-large bowl of pork cutlet, and really, they both had splurged on earrings and knives a few days ago. He pinched the underside of Sykkuno's thigh, and smiled sweetly at the waitress as the boy next to him yelped.

“Can we see the menu?” he asked.

“Sure!” she said, though she shot a worried glance towards Sykkuno's pouting face. She handed them a different menu, and Toast nearly cried on the spot seeing the ‘45% off’ on most of the menu. They also got a 30% discount on the extra-large pork cutlet. It was supposed to be shared, but that wasn’t going to happen. Sykkuno might be lean and slender, but he ate like a man starved for months.

Toast scanned the menu, and calculated the amount of money he still had. He knew Sykkuno had at most twenty bucks in his wallet because his hobby was far more expensive that Toast’s. He didn’t know why his roommate kept that up; those knife tricks ain’t gonna fill his belly nor would they help his grades. But to each their own.

Sykkuno, finally understanding what Toast was planning, was suddenly excited as he pointed to the pork cutlet. It was cute, Toast would give him that. He supposed he understood why Leslie and Edison liked pampering Sykkuno so much whenever they met. There was just something about his innocent excitement that tugged at people’s protective instinct. Only that one instance, though. Sykkuno might be all nice and flowery, but he was a sadistic bitch underneath.

“We’ll take these, and this set of drinks,” Toast said, pointing to the menus they wanted, and giving back the book of the menu to the waitress.

“Got it,” she said, and smiled at them. “You two look so cute. Have you been together long?”

For a split second, Toast panicked. He didn’t expect her to ask for a background story, and he forced his brain to fabricate a believable one on the spot. Thankfully, Sykkuno proved that he was capable of lying smoothly as Toast had expected him to be.

“We met in college,” he said, looking at Toast with those disgustingly fake heart-eyes. “Kinda fell in love at first sight, you know?” He chuckled nervously, and Toast knew how well it worked to make people coo. And she was—cooing at them with a dimpled smile. “We’re in different majors, but we turned out to be roommates. It’s really not that hard to predict what happened from there.”

“Ah,” she nodded, as if she hadn’t been fooled by Sykkuno's sweet, lying face. “Young love is really beautiful, isn’t it? Your orders will be here soon, please wait, and have a nice day!”

She left with spring on her steps, and Toast craned his neck to see that she was whispering with the cashier, surreptitiously pointing at them before they giggled like high-school girls. It was ridiculous and frankly kinda humiliating, but now they were able to eat what they wanted and pay less for it, too. All in all, not a bad trade.

“Happy now?” he drawled, glancing at Sykkuno.

The boy hummed softly and grinned at him. “Yeah,” he said. “Though I feel bad for lying to her.”

“Your stomach won’t care whether you lie or not as long as it’s filled,” he said. “Say ‘thank you, Toast.’”

“Thank you, Toast,” Sykkuno said solemnly, and Toast grinned at him, ruffling his meticulously styled hair. It was soft under his fingertips; he had always liked the feeling of running his fingers through Sykkuno's hair. It was soothing, for some reason. Though Sykkuno would complain about Toast ruining it.

When the waitress got to their table with a tray of food, Toast swallowed his saliva and nearly laughed when Sykkuno pressed closer to him just to see the sight of their orders better. The waitress put down their food and drinks, and winked at them.

“Enjoy your food,” she said, and Toast nodded dazedly because the sight of his cordon bleu was enough to render him into tears of joy. Sykkuno was no better next to him; sighing and nearly crooning at the pork cutlet as if it was his newborn child. The waitress gave them a funny look, and Toast cleared his throat.

“Thank you,” he said, belatedly.

Sykkuno breathed out in wonder, oblivious to the waitress and tugged at Toast’s shirt again. “Toast, it looks wonderful. You wanna taste it first?”

There was another smile blooming on the waitress’ face, but Toast was too distracted with the offering of a piece of pork cutlet in front of him. He closed his lips around the fork, and nearly moaned because it was so good. Crunchy outside and tender inside, with perfect seasoning and the particular taste of well-cooked meat. Sykkuno grinned at him.

“Good?” he asked.

“Perfect,” Toast nodded, and cut his cordon bleu, offering a piece for Sykkuno. “How is it?”

Sykkuno looked close to tears, and this was all very dramatic. But they were hungry, and in dire need of eating something that wasn’t instant noodles or bland tuna sandwiches from the convenience store in their dorm. Plus, they got a discount out of it. It really was perfect.

Between the two of them, they finished their meals in no time. Sykkuno looked ready to head into a mini food-coma as he leaned against Toast’s shoulders, belly full and happy. He sucked on his straw and Toast pulled it out. If he let it, Sykkuno was gonna chew on it until the plastic broke down. They both had oral fixation issues; Toast resolved it by biting on his nails and pens, and Sykkuno headed to smoking and biting on Toast’s fingers when he wanted to save some money. He hadn’t had a smoke for a week now, and it showed.

Sykkuno frowned at him, but Toast obligingly gave his finger for Sykkuno to chew on. It was like seeing a dog to a bone, which Toast used to tease the boy all the time with. He didn’t seem to particularly mind, though. He just bit harder on Toast’s finger in retaliation.

The same waitress came over to give them their bills when Toast hailed her, and she blinked at the sight of Sykkuno sucking on Toast’s fingers. Her face was weirdly flushed, and she accepted Toast’s card before scurrying over hurriedly. That was strange, but he was at peace, the aftertaste of cordon bleu sticking to his mouth and he clicked his tongue a few times to preserve the taste. It would be some time before he could eat it again.

“Let go,” he said after his card was returned. “Let’s go home.”

Sykkuno let go after some more coaxing, and they left the restaurant with big grins and full bellies. Toast carefully noted the day so they could visit again on the same day for the couple discount. It was a monthly discount, the waitress had told them.

“We can try the spicy soup next time,” Sykkuno suggested. “And the dumplings. They look good, too.”

“Sure,” Toast nodded. Sure, they’d have to lie again. But it was worth it for the food. Besides, it wasn’t like Sykkuno was complaining either. It was a perfect arrangement.

He would like to reiterate that it wasn’t his fault that it continued. Sure, he planned on going back to that restaurant with the monthly couple discount, but he didn’t actively look for anything similar to it. This was on Sykkuno.

“Let’s take a walk,” Sykkuno said. “To the park near our campus.”

Toast didn’t look away from his staring contest with the ceiling. He was particularly stressed out about his mid-term result. Sykkuno didn’t worry because he was unfairly a genius. Toast was starting to think that he wasn’t cut out for his degree because the more he learned, the more he couldn’t understand. He couldn’t even ask for tutors because it’d mean paying, and his friends were too busy surviving for their grades to spare him a hand.

“No,” he said flatly. “Not in the mood. Besides, it’s hot as fuck outside.”

“You’re always in the mood for ice cream,” Sykkuno said, dumping his ass unceremoniously on Toast’s bed and laying his upper body on Toast’s chest, forcing him to pay attention to his new human barnacle. “Come on, I know a place.”

“You’re paying?” he asked suspiciously.

“Yeah,” Sykkuno nodded, grinning brightly. Something wasn’t right, and Toast could feel it in his gut. But see, Sykkuno was very pretty when he lied and when he was trying to lure people into the deepest layer of hell. Toast was sure that he came from someone’s nightmare or something, because he knew too much about how to break people down so they’d follow his whims. Toast was the ultimate exhibit A.

His gut feeling was proven right when they approached an ice cream truck with two sets of tables nearby. Sykkuno leaned close to him and whispered, “Hold my hand, and look besotted.”

“What,” Toast asked, because what?

“It’s worth it,” Sykkuno reassured, and it wasn’t convincing, at all. But still, Toast held his hand and tried his best to look like he was in love instead of looking halfway constipated. They stopped in front of the truck, and Sykkuno smiled shyly at the guy manning the cashier. “Can we get the—“

“Couple special?” the guy asked, glancing down at their conjoined hands. Sykkuno nodded and smiled brighter. “Sure thing, man. Wait a second.”

Sykkuno paid for the ice cream, and they were given a huge bowl of hardened waffle cone with three scoops of ice cream, drizzled with chocolate and cornflakes, slices of banana, sprinkles of crushed Oreos and two small spoons. Toast stared at it in wonder, and followed Sykkuno to one of the tables.

“How did you know?” he asked, taking a bite and humming in delight. It was wonderful and sticky and all sorts of sweetness that’d give him problems in his later years. It was absolutely amazing right now, though. Older Toast could deal.

“Richard told me about it,” Sykkuno said cheerfully. “Nice guy.”

“That Richard guy who calls himself Ninja?” Toast asked to confirm his suspicion. Sykkuno nodded, and Toast laughed. That guy liked Sykkuno, and had been flirting with him for the past few months, which wasn’t really special since a lot of people flirted with Sykkuno. He was just too oblivious to notice. Or maybe he did, and he was just playing dumb in order to avoid emotional confrontation. Richard must have been trying to get Sykkuno to go here together, but instead he took Toast here. What a fatal blow.

“He’s nice, isn’t he?” Sykkuno said, and took a small bite. He wasn’t too keen on sweet things, but he knew that Toast had a terrible sweet-tooth. He carefully ate the parts that didn’t have drizzles of chocolate on it. “I should thank him for telling me about this place. We can go here again sometimes! They have three different couple menus, and in February they have seven different menus and always have discounts on them.”

“No, man,” Toast said, taking pity on Richard. “You’re going to break his spirit.”

“W-what?” Sykkuno stammered, blinking in confusion. Yeah, this one was definitely a case of obliviousness. Sometimes, Sykkuno truly didn’t understand that people were serious about their flirting. He just thought that they were joking.

“Never mind,” he said, “here, this one is clean.” He put the spoonful of chocolate free ice cream on Sykkuno's lips, and smiled when his roommate shot him a grateful look.

In the end, Toast ate most of the ice cream and gave himself a brain freeze, while Sykkuno nibbled on the bowl of cone. It lifted his sour mood a little, and by the smile that Sykkuno kept throwing his way, he seemed to know it too. Sometimes Sykkuno wasn’t entirely an annoying, sly, teasing motherfucker. Only sometimes, though.

“I got a voucher,” Toast said, plopping himself on Sykkuno's bed. “For,” he checked the voucher again, “the new noodle place a few blocks from here. Twenty percent for the opening, thirty if you bring friends or significant others. Extra dumplings for couples.”

“Let’s go,” Sykkuno said, hurriedly putting on his jacket because he had just gotten a new tattoo and he was saving up for Toast’s birthday. He knew; Sykkuno wasn’t exactly subtle when he asked if there were jewelry or clothes he had been eyeing these days. “How’d you get that?”

“The salesperson stopped me and gave me the voucher for their new place,” Toast said and grasped at Sykkuno's hand to propel himself upright. “Should we take a bus? Or just walk? It’s not that far.”

“The bus,” Sykkuno said. “Dream refilled my bus card.”

Toast blinked at him. See, he said that people flirted with Sykkuno all the time and some of them were serious. It meant that not only they amped up their flirting so it’d penetrate through Sykkuno's thick skull, it also meant that they bought things for him. Gifts that were unfortunately not food or knives, because Sykkuno, for some reason Toast didn’t understand, hid his worrying collection of knives from everyone. The gifts were useful at times, though. Like now.

“I hope they have something spicy,” Sykkuno said on the bus, leaning over to whisper close to Toast’s ear. It was full on the bus today, and they were slotting tightly on the seat. Toast had to push Sykkuno even closer to the edge because people kept pressing on him. “Toast, the handle is digging on my side, move over.”

“I can’t,” he hissed, and hauled one of Sykkuno's legs on top of his thigh to relieve the tension on his side. At least he could sit half on his lap. “There, better?”

“Better,” Sykkuno smiled. “But now my butt hurts because half of it is lifted.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Toast snapped at him. They spent the trip whispering about the menus and the dumplings. When Toast looked up however, the old lady in front of them shot them a stinky look. He frowned. The fuck was her problem? He gripped Sykkuno's leg tighter unconsciously.

“What’s wrong?” Sykkuno asked. Toast not-so-subtly tilted his head to the old lady, and Sykkuno's mouth formed a small ‘o’ in understanding. “Well, it doesn’t matter. We’re here anyway.”

They got off the bus, not without Sykkuno pointing his forefinger at the old lady in lieu of a middle finger, because Sykkuno was ridiculously adamant in not swearing or making crude gestures. They got into the noodle place, and seated themselves near the window. Toast went to the cashier to turn in his voucher and order for them both. He knew which one Sykkuno would like without asking him, anyway.

Sykkuno's eyes lit up in childlike happiness when Toast came over with a tray of their food. He liked spicy things, even if his face would flush so red by the end of it. He put their bowls down, and put three of the dumplings in Sykkuno's bowl.

“Don’t you like dumplings?” Sykkuno asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But this is my treat, and we can always go back here for the couple discounts. I’ll still have the dumplings, then.”

“Make sense,” the boy nodded. “Thank you, Toast.”

“Aren’t you glad I’m your roommate?” Toast asked, because a stroke on his ego wouldn’t hurt once in a while, and Sykkuno always had that way of praising that sounded so sincere. He liked it.

“You’re the best roommate I can ask for,” Sykkuno nodded solemnly, and dug into his bowl with gusto.

Toast tasted some of his noodles, and blanched at the taste because Sykkuno had put more chili pepper on it. He might have grown up in an Asian household where withstanding spicy food was one of the requirements to be accepted, but Sykkuno took it to another level. He coughed and Sykkuno patted his back softly, giving him a drink to soothe over the burn in his throat. He gave his meat over to Toast’s bowl instead in apology.

When they got home, by bus because Dream apparently had refilled the bus card for enough trips for a month, Sykkuno sighed happily on Toast’s chest and chewed on his finger again. Spicy foods always made him happy, the way sweet things made Toast’s mood better. He didn’t even complain when Toast ran his fingers through his hair; too busy basking in the afterglow of terrifyingly spicy noodles.

“We should make this a thing,” Sykkuno said. “We get to eat good food, and spend less for it, too. I’ve never known couple discount can be this useful. Mainly because I’m always single.”

“You won’t be single if only you stop being so oblivious to people flirting with you,” Toast told him earnestly.

“People aren’t into me like that, Toast,” Sykkuno said, fully believing in his stupid conviction.

“Whatever you say,” Toast said, dropping the subject because they had exhausted this topic enough with the same result. “But, sure. We can spend more on our hobbies if we can get couple discounts.”

“Right?” Sykkuno said, lifting his head to grin at Toast. “Kinda feel bad for deceiving the restaurants, but you know, food.”

“Indeed,” Toast nodded.

Over the course of a few months, they had visited several cafés and restaurants with couple discounts, and abused the bus card when it was too far away to reach by walking. It was a splendid strategy to minimize their budget on food. Sure, they had to pretend to be giggly, besotted college students when they were about to order, but they always went home satisfied and full. It was something that they were planning to abuse for a long term.

Instead of going out alone to eat, Toast was now used to bringing Sykkuno along with him. Whenever they didn’t get the couple discount, they chose a restaurant with a menu they wanted to try and shared the food between them. It wasn’t as fulfilling, but it satiated their curiosity. He found out that eating together with someone else was actually nice, and really fun because they could talk while waiting for the orders and while they ate. They sometimes went out with their friends to eat, but it wasn’t the same when it was just the two of them. They didn’t have to worry about engaging others so they wouldn’t feel left out, and they could freely say atrocious things about anyone they wanted.

Sykkuno was less protective of his food now, and didn’t try to manipulate Toast as much whenever he was broke and wanted to eat something good. Apparently, there were a lot of places that had couple discounts, and they could eat there without worrying about money. They now had a habit of scouring through social media and the web for those places. A weird habit to develop, but it was essential for their college life.

After a few months of sharing meals together, they got into a habit of sharing. They had shared nearly everything before, but it had tripled now. Toast would go home and pack even more than usual because he wanted Sykkuno to be able to eat his mother’s cooking without fear of diminishing the amount too fast. Sykkuno would be invited to lunches or dinners by people smitten by him, but instead of eating with them, he just asked for a takeout and went home to eat with Toast. Honestly, Toast felt bad for those people, but then again, it was free food and he could listen to Sykkuno malding about his professors.

“Large?” Sykkuno asked.

“Definitely,” Toast said. “Do you want to share, or do you want to eat it alone?”

“Let’s share this one, and then order the new burger you want to try. If it’s bad, at least you don’t have to eat all of it,” Sykkuno said, and asked Toast to order the large fries for them too. As soon they were done, they went over to where their friends were seated.

Toast waited until Sykkuno got into the booth because he liked the seat near the window, and sat next to him. Leslie, Edison, and Miyoung were seated in front of them. As per usual, they bitched about their assignments and traded latest gossip, as well as discussing new people who were crushing on Sykkuno as if the guy wasn’t there with them. It was just like any other day.

Sykkuno toyed with Toast’s fingers, holding them the way he would hold his cigarette, and Toast resigned himself to the upcoming biting and sucking. His friends were weirded out at first by this habit, but they got used to it pretty soon because Toast and Sykkuno never fussed about it. They were just helping each other out. Sykkuno would cut Toast’s nails regularly to prevent him from chewing on them until his fingers bleed.

The waiter came with their orders, and shot them a puzzled look when he saw Sykkuno sucking on Toast’s thumb. He ignored it, because it happened a lot. He was used to the stare, and it wasn’t like those people ever said anything. He maneuvered their orders with his free hand, and let out a wonder-filled sigh when he unwrapped the large burger; two half pounds of charbroiled patties, extra cheese for Toast and extra pickles for Sykkuno. His roommate let go of his finger pretty soon after that.

“Damn, you must be really hungry, Toast,” Miyoung said, eyeing the cardiac-arrest-inducing burger with trepidation.

“Huh?” he looked up from the burger, and shook his head. “Oh, no. We’re sharing.”

Sykkuno nodded next to him, and slipped a pickle from underneath the bun to munch on it. Toast took the first bite, and groaned low in his throat. Man, that was good. He heard a small whimper next to him, and held out the burger for Sykkuno to bite on. He grinned when he got the same reaction from the boy. He raised his eyebrow, silently asking ‘good?’ and Sykkuno nodded his head enthusiastically. They finished the burger pretty fast, and moved on to the new menu Toast had wanted to try. It was pretty good, but not as good as the large burger with its patties and bacon dripping oil everywhere. Sykkuno took the burger and hummed low in his throat.

“You like it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sykkuno nodded, and thrilled happily when Toast pushed the rest of the burger towards him. In turn, he dipped the fries on his milkshake and held it out for Toast. It was a weird habit Sykkuno liked to do, but the fries did taste good with the milkshake, so he didn’t complain.

There was a sigh, and they both looked towards their friends. Miyoung looked at her mocha float miserably. “I forgot how much I’d feel like a third wheel each time I go out with you guys. Here I am, alone, single, with two couples being disgustingly romantic next to me.”

Toast looked at Sykkuno, and they both exploded in a peal of laughter. Oh, God, if only she knew.

“Couple,” Toast repeated, still chuckling lightly. “Yeah, right.”

“Well, aren’t you?” Miyoung demanded.

“Sometimes,” Sykkuno said, biting back his grin, his shoulders shaking from holding back another bout of laughter.

“What the hell does that even mean?” Miyoung asked, and looked at Edison and Leslie, who both shrugged at her.

“Fuck if I know,” Toast answered for her, and fed Sykkuno the last fries.

Sykkuno barreled into Toast as soon as he was out of his class. He caught the boy easily, too used to this to ever fall down like the first time it happened. Anytime this occured, it just meant that Sykkuno was excited over something.

“What is it?” Toast asked, and waved at his friends who grinned and giggled at them. He was used to that, too.

Sykkuno showed his phone at him, and Toast’s eyes widened. Yeah, that was definitely something to be excited about, okay. AYCE buffet on a sushi place for couples, because it was February and they had been eating good since the first week thanks to all the promos and discounts. At this point, Toast was willing to enter a platonic marriage with Sykkuno if they could have these discounts for their whole life. Or maybe just for the duration of their college, he wasn’t picky.

“Oh, shit,” he breathed out, exhilarated now. “When is it opening?”

Sykkuno checked the phone even though he was literally wearing a watch. Toast smiled at the dumbass. “In an hour. It’s pretty close, too. We can just walk; it’ll be good because we’ll be stuffing our mouths.”

“We should head back and change our clothes,” Toast said, clasping Sykkuno's hand and dragging him away from the corridor. “That place looks fancy. We’ll definitely stand out.”

“The salmon looks fancy, too,” Sykkuno piped up.

Toast ruffled his hair. “It does,” he said. “All the more reason to look good for your fancy salmon.”

Looking fancy just meant that Toast was looking stylish enough to go to a VIP club, and him struggling to put Sykkuno into his clothes because Sykkuno's wardrobe only consisted of jeans and sweaters and boring shirts. The boy would run away, and Toast would block his way and threaten Sykkuno to withdraw his fingers entirely when he wanted to suck on them. He was always self-conscious about his appearance, which Toast always rebuffed because he had eyes. The boy looked cute, alright? There was a reason why people fell for him left and right. It wasn’t just his personality; he looked so pretty that sometimes it hurt to look at him.

They arrived at the place, hand in hand, got their picture snapped for the restaurant’s Instagram, and sat down next to each other. Sykkuno looked so moved by the salmon that Toast couldn’t help but snap a picture of him. That was another habit that they developed. Sometimes it was just to commemorate the food because they looked good, sometimes it was because they looked funny while they ate, and most times they took pictures just because they wanted to. Toast and Sykkuno were now very adept in posing like proper couples for places that required their pictures to be taken before they could order the couple menus. It was proven to be useful, too, because people would croon at them and gave them extra food when Sykkuno beamed a smile at the staff.

“Don’t upload that,” Sykkuno said as he chewed his cake.

“We never uploaded our pictures,” Toast reminded him.

“Yeah, but you send them to your family and my sisters,” Sykkuno said. “They never stopped teasing me about it. I look weird in all of the pictures.”

“You look cute,” Toast said flippantly, and took some tuna rolls.

Sykkuno flushed, as he expected, and stammered back, “T-thanks.”

They went home with full bellies and the taste of raw fish on their tongue. Toast felt like he drank too much green tea, and he was most probably nearly bloated. He sighed as he leaned against the headboard of his bed, not even bothering with changing his clothes. He wanted to bask in the afterglow of good food for a while. A long while.

Sykkuno was scrolling through Toast’s phone, head on Toast’s lap and shaking his feet because sometimes he was restless. “This one looks good,” he said, showing a picture of them grinning, drunk on good salmon. “Should we upload it?”

“Sure,” Toast said, agreeable and pliant now, halfway falling asleep. “Do you have any cigarettes?”

“I do,” Sykkuno nodded, and got up to take the box of cigarettes from his drawer. They sat near the window so the smell of smoke didn’t clog the room. “February is officially my favorite month now.”

Toast exhaled the smoke from his lungs, and nodded. He rarely ever smoked, but sometimes he sat here and accompanied Sykkuno as the boy burned through stick after stick. By the time Sykkuno was thirty, he would be a chain-smoker if Toast didn’t find a way to alleviate that habit. Maybe he would room with Sykkuno permanently so he could suck on Toast’s fingers instead.

“Where should we go next?” he asked, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray, and putting down Sykkuno's hand when he was about to reach for another one. He offered his finger instead, and Sykkuno sucked on it obediently.

“It’s a bit more expensive, but the seafood restaurant near your favorite mall has discounts, too,” Sykkuno said after some time. He showed Toast a conversation with Leslie. “She asks us on a double date. We can go on Friday?”

“Sounds good to me,” Toast nodded. “Been a while since I ate some lobsters and clams. Not fish, though. I’m sick of fish now.”

Sykkuno laughed and nodded, going back to sucking on Toast’s finger and typing out a quick reply to Leslie for the agreed date. He gave back the phone to Toast, and he looked through the post, calculating the amount of money they had to scrounge up after the discount. It was still within their budget. They definitely could go. It would be another struggle of putting Sykkuno into his clothes again, but Toast could deal with it.

“I’m sleepy,” Sykkuno grumbled. “But I’m too lazy to wash up.”

“Same,” Toast said. “We can wash up in the morning? Just shed off your blazer.”

In the end, they slept on Sykkuno's bed because he didn’t want to let go of Toast’s fingers. Whatever, it wasn’t like it never happened before. He just had to be prepared to be kicked out of the bed in the middle of the night. But if he secured Sykkuno enough in his arms, maybe it would happen less. That sounded like a good idea, so he wrapped his arms around the boy. Sykkuno didn’t complain, understanding Toast’s intention without having to be informed.

He liked rooming, and being friends, with Sykkuno mainly because they were easily attuned to each other. They were so different on multiple levels, but Sykkuno could read and understand him more than anyone else. Toast was able to see past Sykkuno's shy, gentle persona to see the refreshingly bold and witty person underneath. Toast had other close friends, but Sykkuno was probably the only one he had ever let to be this close. Also the only one he would ever trust his life to because learning knife tricks wasn’t the only thing Sykkuno was capable of with his knife collection.

And because he was the one who wouldn’t be weirded out by this habit of pretending to be a couple for discounts. It was fun, and he didn’t mind doing it for a long time. Only with Sykkuno, though.

“So,” Leslie started, tone nothing short of mischief. “How long since you’ve been together?”

Toast looked away from Sykkuno eating his oysters with gusto. It was cute, and funny because Sykkuno was still not used to slurping the oysters. But Toast told him that the juice was good to eat together with the flesh, and he had to experience eating it straight from the shells.

“You mean, how long since we started doing this?” he asked back, referring to their discount-hunting and pretending-to-be-couple habit.

“Uh, sure,” Leslie said, frowning  a little funnily at them.

“A few months ago,” Toast said, and dabbed the side of Sykkuno's lips with a napkin. The boy shot him a grateful look and cracked open the lobster claw for Toast. “Around… July? August?”

“August,” Sykkuno confirmed. “In that café with the nice waitress.”

“Right, that one,” Toast nodded. “Should we go there again next month?”

Sykkuno nodded his affirmation while Leslie gasped and pointed at them both accusingly.

“Why haven’t we heard anything of this?” she asked, sounding so betrayed. “You guys never told us! If I didn’t see your post with Sykkuno, I would have never known.”

Toast frowned. Well, it would be beneficial for Leslie and Edison since they were a real couple. Still, he didn’t think it was important enough to share. They did it so they didn’t have to starve and survive on noodle-diet after they splurged, after all. “I don’t think it’s something we need to share, though.”

“You should!” she exclaimed. “Oh my God. All this time you’ve been going behind our back, and we’ve been wondering, and it turns out you’ve been together for more than half a year!”

Toast ignored the way she worded out the last sentence. He had tried correcting her the first time, and she was adamant about it. It was a lost cause by now, so he’d just let her be. “Has it been that long? I didn’t notice. I mean, it’s really nice, and Sykkuno doesn’t have any problem with it. Right?”

“I’m definitely happy with it,” Sykkuno nodded. “We get to spend time together, and we can eat a lot too.”

“I don’t know what eating got to do with it, but congratulations,” Edison said, smiling warmly at them.

“Uh… thanks?” Toast said, not understanding why them finding the solution for their eating out budget was worth congratulating for. But maybe it was. They were better in managing their money after this habit, and since they shared everything nowadays, their savings had been back on track, too. It was a very good decision to take.

“Is that why Sykkuno keeps refusing me for a threesome?” Edison wondered, and Toast nearly choked on his lobster.

Sykkuno had actually choked, and was currently coughing violently into his palm. Toast patted his back and gave him a drink. Leslie swatted Edison’s arm and yelled at him while her boyfriend laughed. Edison was fucking shameless, and Toast truly didn’t understand why Leslie kept letting him flirt with Sykkuno so intensely.

Sykkuno looked at him, bewildered at the question. But Toast just shrugged, and he peacefully went back to his oysters. Whatever, their friends said weird things all the time anyway. Maybe he should start inviting their friends on their discount-hunting, if they felt so betrayed by them not telling about it. Sure, it meant less time whispering atrocious things that Sykkuno giggled at, but they could hang out with their friends too, once in a while. It’d be nice.

Toast was miserable.

He didn’t want to do his assignment, he still had to wait two weeks for a discount on his wish list of clothes, someone spilled their cola on his white shirt, and to top it all, Sykkuno wasn’t here. He was back to his family’s house for the weekend. Life was unexpectedly boring without him after months being glued to each other. Usually, Toast could always find something to do, or just went out with his friends.

It had been a while since he went to any party, too. More accurately, he hadn’t gone to one ever since they started going out eating at the discounted place. Sykkuno didn’t do well at parties, and honestly, eating with him was more entertaining. Sykkuno always knew how to say the most scandalous thing with an innocent face. Toast would sputter and spit out his food and Sykkuno would shoot him this cringing look that said he was utterly disgusted but he would restrain himself from stabbing Toast with his fork because he was paying for dinner.

He ended up calling Sykkuno.

“Come back,” he said without preamble. “The steakhouse has a discount for couples, and it’ll end today.”

“Oh, there’s no need to,” Sykkuno said. There were voices of people talking in the background. “We made steaks, too. I’ll bring some for you on Monday.”

“You’re not back today?” he asked, because Sykkuno always went back on Sunday during these trips.

“The whole family is here, that’s why we’re having some steaks. My uncle has set up the grills, and everyone is in the backyard,” the boy explained. “I’ll bring you some cakes and pastries, too.”

“You’re coming home on Monday,” Toast repeated, almost whining.

“It won’t be that long,” Sykkuno reassured. “I have a surprise for you. So, wait for me okay?”

“Okay,” Toast said, dejectedly clicking off the phone. He stared at his fingers, and suddenly missed the feeling of Sykkuno's lips closing over them. Now he had no one’s oral fixation to soothe except for his own. Fuck everything.

“Why are you so sullen?” Yvonne asked, sitting down with her tray of food. The cafeteria was mostly empty at this hour because everyone was busy preparing for exams and could spare no time to eat in order to catch up with their notes.

“What do you think?” Toast snapped, stabbing at his sad, sad lunch. He missed going out to some restaurant to eat with Sykkuno, and it had only been one day. Those discounts sure did spoil them both.

“Sykkuno went home,” Edison explained, and Yvonne made a small ‘o’ in understanding. “Cheer up, he’s going to be back soon anyway.”

“No, he won’t,” Toast grumbled.

“No, I mean, he’s coming our way,” Edison said, and Toast looked up so fast he was dizzy with it. “Look, he’s here.”

There was a relieved rush of breath when he saw Sykkuno waving excitedly at him, waddling over like a penguin with two Tupperware boxes in his hand. Toast scooted over and pushed Yvonne out of the seat next to him so Sykkuno could sit there. She rolled her eyes at him but moved over nonetheless.

“Where’s my steak,” he demanded.

Sykkuno smiled wryly at him. “Yeah, I missed you too, Toast,” he said, but he opened the boxes and gave one to Toast while giving their friends the other one. “That’s yours. I asked my mom to make it the way you like it. Is it good?”

Toast nodded, abandoning his sad lunch in favor of the succulent meat. It was still warm, sealed by the box through Sykkuno's trip. The steak in that steakhouse he mentioned was good, but this was even better, and free to boot. He offered a piece for Sykkuno, but the boy refused it. “Eat,” Toast said flatly, and Sykkuno obediently closed his lips over the piece of meat. “Your mom’s steak is the best.”

“Aren’t you glad I went home?” he asked.

“No,” Toast said, then laughed when Sykkuno pouted at him. He had a weird pout, like he didn’t mean to do it. It mostly consisted of him thinning his lips, puffing his cheeks ever so slightly, and looking down in irritation. “What’s the surprise?”

“Oh!” Sykkuno exclaimed, eyes lighting up in excitement. “My aunt gave me this, but I know you’ll appreciate it more than me.”

The surprise turned out to be that expensive, absolutely amazing, calories loaded chocolate that Toast favored so much. When he had the money for it, anyway. There was only a box, and it only had four balls of chocolate in it. He quickly shielded it from his friends’ prying hands. “This is my surprise, back off,” he said to them, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re so stingy!” Yvonne complained.

“Well, sucks to be you,” he drawled. “Because I’m still not sharing.” He finished his steak, and moved over to the chocolate, nearly moaning obscenely because it was just that good. Toast went to gym regularly; not only for his health and to maintain his current figure, but also because his outings with Sykkuno needed to be burned out. Not everyone was graced with fast metabolism like that boy. He could scarf down two portions of noodles for a month straight and still wouldn’t gain significant weight. Everything in this universe favored Sykkuno and Toast had accepted it since the first semester.

“Is it really that good?” Sykkuno asked, eyes glazing over in his curiosity.

“I’m also not sharing with you,” Toast said, just to be cruel.

“W-what?” Sykkuno spluttered. “I brought you these!”

“Yes, and they’re mine now,” he said, holding back his laughter when Sykkuno pouted. In the end he bit off half a chunk and held out the rest between his fingers.

Sykkuno scooted over happily, leaning down to take the chocolate. Since he wasn’t able to eat a lot of sweet things at once without throwing up, he ate it little by little. Sometimes he licked over Toast’s fingers, as he patiently held up the chocolate until he was finished. The chocolate was melting from heat on his fingertips, and Sykkuno was still not done. So Toast shoved the chocolate, along with his fingers, into Sykkuno's mouth.

He sucked on two of his fingers, tongue laving between the digits to swipe off the chocolate sticking to the skin. His eyes were closed, a low moan reverberating through his throat. Toast looked at him smugly, because he knew how amazing those chocolates were. It was rare for Sykkuno to actually like something this sweet. Maybe he could share it with him again sometimes if he happened to buy them. He didn’t mind feeding Sykkuno bits of it so he wouldn’t gag from too much sweetness.

“This is so inappropriate,” Yvonne whispered under her breath. Leslie hummed in agreement, but didn’t comment on it. Like Toast, she was also used to it.

“What?” Toast said, turning away from the sight of Sykkuno's lips wrapped around his fingers. At this point, he was just sucking on Toast’s fingers out of habit. “It’s not like you’ve never seen him done this before.”

“Yeah, and it never stops being weird!” she complained.

Toast narrowed his eyes on her. “Leave him alone,” he said, taking another chocolate with his other hand because Sykkuno wasn’t letting go soon.

“Makes you wonder what happened between closed doors,” Edison mused, and Toast threw him a look that said ‘what the fuck, Edison’. He thought that he conveyed it perfectly, because Edison just shrugged helplessly. “I’m not the only one wondering.”

Toast frowned. Closed doors meant that they were spending their times struggling with assignments, accompanying Sykkuno smoking, talking about bitchy lecturers and cocky upperclassmen, and scrolling through their phones for new restaurant recommendations with couple discounts. Edison was just a perverted weirdo.

“Good, right?” Toast asked, ignoring Edison, after Sykkuno let his fingers go. The man nodded, a little dazed. Toast laughed at the look. “Here, you can have the last one.”

He took apart the ball of chocolate into pieces and fed it to Sykkuno slowly. Yvonne squirmed at her seat and buried her face in her palms.

“They need to slap some rating on it,” she muttered.

“Tried that, kinda futile,” Edison said. “It’s almost the fifth semester and they still haven’t stopped.”

“You’re right,” Leslie said with a resigned sigh. “You’re not the only one wondering.”

“Right?” Edison said, as Toast ignored them all in favor of slowly putting the pieces of chocolate on Sykkuno's tongue so he wouldn’t choke on the ball of absolute sweetness.

If they said anything more about their weird topic, he couldn’t tell. Because Sykkuno crinkled his eyes in a smile and Toast gave him a warm smile in return. His fingers were pruned by how much Sykkuno was sucking on them, but at least he could introduce him to a new wonder of the sweets. That was worth it.

Sykkuno was frowning, and it had never been good news for anyone. Anyone.

“What’s wrong?” Toast asked, because he was a good roommate, and he didn’t want to pull Sykkuno out of a fight like that one time in their second semester. Sykkuno was a nasty fuck when he fought, and Toast wasn’t in the mood to worry over hospital bills they’d have to cover. No, thank you, their bank account was chirping happily now because of their better money management. It didn’t need that kind of heavy dent.

“Nothing,” Sykkuno sighed, but he padded over to flop himself over his roommate’s lap like he usually did when he was particularly distressed. He had a good two inches on Toast, but he liked feeling small when he curled up like this. Sykkuno had always been a strong, enduring person despite being so painfully shy sometimes. So of course Toast would be accommodating when he wanted to unwind. “Just… I don’t know.”

“Just spit it out,” Toast said, stroking his back soothingly. “Is someone bothering you?”

“No, not that,” came the reply, along with another sigh. “Or maybe yes. I don’t know. A few guys have been asking me out for dates, and they’re so persistent. I feel bad about constantly turning them down, or going out with them only to order some takeout and go home. I mean, I kinda feel bad because they’re paying for it, but I can eat it with you. So, not really feeling bad, I guess?”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Toast advised. “It’ll just become uncomfortable for everyone involved if you force yourself.”

“You’re right,” Sykkuno said, laying his head on Toast’s shoulder. “But sometimes they just wanna hang out, you know? Like, some of them explicitly told me that they’ll be okay if I don’t like them romantically.”

“Maybe go out with some you’re comfortable with,” he suggested, and Sykkuno nodded. Toast knew by now that he would be falling asleep soon. Good, it was better than Sykkuno getting frustrated and smoking too much, or going out to look for a fight. Sometimes, it could be that bad. But Toast understood, the way that Sykkuno understood when Toast closed off and snapped at everyone when he was stressed out; accommodating when Toast needed someone to hold onto without saying anything.

“I like going out with you more, though,” Sykkuno mumbled sleepily.

“Of course you do,” Toast smirked. “I’m just that dazzling.”

There was a small chuckle, before a yawn. “You actually are.”

“Go to sleep,” Toast said, and lay down carefully so he didn’t have to wake up with cricks on his neck.

“Let’s go to that café again,” Sykkuno whispered, eyes already closed as he wiggled closer in Toast’s hold. “The one where we got our first discount.”

“Yeah,” Toast nodded. “Next week?”

Sykkuno hummed, and soon his breath was slowing down, lulled to sleep already. Toast followed after him, comfortable and warm with Sykkuno's weight anchoring him down.

Unfortunately, that outing to the café would have to wait because Toast was in a crisis.

Rae came marching with Poki following closely behind. Toast stared at them in bewilderment because Rae looked like she was going on a warpath. He glanced at Corpse, and he just shrugged. Miyoung didn’t even deign them with a look, too engrossed in the equations she had to solve. She looked close to tears. Toast could commiserate.

“How dare you! The audacity, I swear to God!” Rae screeched, garnering some looks from people around them. She stabbed an accusing finger on Toast’s chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? I had to find out from Leslie! Oh my God, you’re the worst!”

“Calm the fuck down,” Toast hissed at her. “The hell are you talking about?”

“You and Sykkuno!” Rae said, as if it explained everything. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t.

Poki seemed to take pity on his confused look. “We found out that you and Sykkuno are dating because Leslie told us,” she said, and Toast’s breath stuttered, because what the hell. “You know that it’s okay to tell us right? I mean, Leslie said only Edison and her that you’ve told. But, pretty much everyone has been suspecting of the same thing for a long time.”

Toast stared, and then stared some more. Rae was fuming, as Poki patted her girlfriend’s back soothingly. “What?” he croaked out, because he didn’t think he quite got that right.

“Stop playing dumb,” Rae grumbled, sitting down heavily. “Come on, you and Sykkuno have been inseparable since the first semester. Not to mention you two never really held back with your PDAs.”

“Again, what?”

“Come on, Toast,” Poki sighed, slightly irritated now. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s not like you two have eyes for anyone but each other, anyway. Even Corpse backed off from Sykkuno because he knows you two are together.”

Toast glanced at Corpse, and the boy only ducked his head in embarrassment over getting dragged in the argument. The argument that still didn’t make sense whatsoever. Because they weren’t dating; had never been. His friends were high on drugs or something. He tried to tell them, but then his breath was caught in his throat when he retraced everything in different lenses.

Oh, God. Leslie and Edison had misunderstood. That was the reason why she was so adamant on saying that they were together. Toast had been too oblivious, thinking that they knew it was all about the fucking discount. Now that he thought about it, it did make sense. He and Sykkuno had been going out a lot, and they had been regularly uploading pictures of their outings, sometimes just them together because Toast thought that the pictures looked nice. Not to mention that they were very touchy with each other. He was just so comfortable in Sykkuno's acceptance that he forgot to consider it from an outsider's point of view. Their friends had never confront them about it outrightly all this time, so he could never expect them to- to think—

“I need to go back,” he said, stumbling in his haste to gather his things and shoving them haphazardly into his bag.

He ignored his friends calling out for him. Anxiety coursed through him, remembering all the instances that might be seen as a loving gesture instead of just a comforting one. He reached the dorm in record time, eyes wide and heart beating wildly.

“Toast!” Sykkuno said happily, getting up from his seat near the window, putting his cigarette on the ashtray. He waddled over to hug Toast, but stopped when he saw his panicked expressions. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No,” he breathed out, head dizzy and mind racing. “Our friends thought that we’ve been dating, all this time.”

“But we have been going out on dates?” Sykkuno asked, a little confused. “We’ve been going out on a lot of eating dates.”

“No, no,” he said, didn’t know how to explain it. “They thought we’re dating, as in being together, as in romantically, as in we’re an actual couple. They didn’t know we were just trying to get those stupid couple discounts!”

He breathed hard, and he didn’t understand why he was making a big deal out of this. Maybe he was just so shocked at the juxtaposition of the difference between his friends’ point of view, compared to Toast’s and Sykkuno's. They were completely fine with the way their friendship worked, but Toast had never realized that it could be seen as something more. Jesus fuck, no wonder Corpse’s aggressive flirting abruptly stopped back then; no wonder Toast’s and Sykkuno's family kept teasing them. It all made sense now, suddenly.

“Hey,” Sykkuno said, guiding Toast to sit on the bed. “Hey, calm down. It’s okay. We can explain this to them. Try to breathe it out, alright?”

Toast nodded, and tried to regulate his breath; sucking in a deep inhale, holding it in for a few seconds, before letting it out. After some time, he was calm enough to look at Sykkuno properly. “Sorry, I was just—shocked, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Sykkuno smiled weakly. “I can imagine. Listen, it’s okay, they’ll understand that it’s just some misunderstanding. You don’t have to worry about it. We don’t have to go out anymore if it makes you uncomfortable, okay?”

Toast wanted to argue that he wasn’t uncomfortable, but then again he was the one who came here looking like he was chased by hellhounds. He couldn’t really say that he was unfazed by it. He licked his lips, and nodded.

“Good,” Sykkuno said, patting his arm lightly. “Maybe you should get some rest. I have a class soon, so I’ll be going.”

Sykkuno threw him a strained smile before he went out, and Toast didn’t want to think about how wrong everything felt when the realization of what they were seen as, overlapped with what Toast had thought of them. He fell asleep in the end; exhausted and confused.

They didn’t go out anymore after that. And maybe, it was just his imagination, but Sykkuno seemed like he was distancing himself from Toast.

“Are you guys fighting?” Miyoung asked, when they went out to eat. Sykkuno wasn’t there, and Toast tried not to think about where he was.

Things had been weird between them after that incident. They no longer went to restaurants with discounts for couples. Sykkuno didn’t sleep on his bed anymore, not even laying over Toast’s chest as he scrolled through his phone. He smoked a lot more instead of asking for Toast’s fingers, and the amount of time Toast had seen him dwindled down by the days. Toast was too awkward to ask him where he went.

“There’s nothing to fight about,” he said, and it sounded so bland, as if he didn’t have enough energy to say it out loud. The seat next to him was occupied by Peter, and it felt so incredibly wrong without Sykkuno by his side.

“Sykkuno is better at lying than you are,” Miyoung reminded, and Toast’s face crumpled at the mention of his friend, who now felt so cold and distant to him. “Oh my God! Are you going to cry?”

“No,” Toast snapped, and stubbornly refused to acknowledge the longing in his chest. He missed Sykkuno, a lot. He missed talking to him about the most stupid things. He missed pretending to be a couple and posing for the restaurant staff to take pictures of. He missed whispering into Sykkuno's ears about horrendous things. Missed his laughter and their closeness. Fuck, he even missed the way Sykkuno would bite at his fingers when he was agitated at what Toast was saying.

Life was just not the same without him close by.

He then found out that Sykkuno had been going out with other people, and actually accepting their invitations of lunch dates and dinners. He smiled bitterly and told Sykkuno that he looked good when he was about to head out with Richard, of all people. Toast was suddenly very pissed at those people smitten with Sykkuno, because now he graced them with proper attention. He also finally realized how much attention Sykkuno gave him, because he was so used to having it all the time, and used to giving his undivided attention to Sykkuno, too.

Fuck, they really did behave as if they were besotted. No wonder their friends came to the wrong conclusion.

They weren’t, though, dating. They were very close, and sure, Toast thought that Sykkuno was the sweetest, gentlest, smartest, most hilarious person he had ever met. And sure, Toast felt the most comfortable when he was with Sykkuno, and he felt nothing short of happiness when they did anything together, and the time spent with Sykkuno teasing people within an inch of their life before he went back to Toast’s side was just fucking funny and enjoyable. And of course he trusted Sykkuno with his life, with his dark thoughts, with everything that he was, and he would accept Sykkuno completely because he had done exactly just that since the start.

And, just, Sykkuno felt right, in the way that no one else could ever be. Toast felt like he was the best version of himself and completely at ease when they were together. But they still weren’t dating. Even if it wasn’t exactly a bad thing. It would be nice, actually.

Because Sykkuno was fun to talk to, could make Toast laugh when he brazenly said the most shameless things that people would never expect from him, and he took care of Toast the way Toast took care of him. He could always make the discussion engaging, and he was really pretty when he smiled softly for Toast, and Toast absolutely loved the way he was pliant and warm under his touch and—

He straightened up, feeling as if he had been hit by a train at full velocity. He blinked a few times, processing his thoughts and came to a very decisive conclusion: they were dumb as fuck.

Holy shit. Holy motherfucking shit, how hadn’t he realized that he liked Sykkuno, all this time? How come he didn’t realize that Sykkuno might possibly like him back, judging from the difference of the way he treated other people, with the way he treated Toast? Just how the hell he didn’t know that they were just basically a disgustingly idiotic, romantic couple ever since they became close friends?

But one thing still stood out in the end: they were not dating.

He swallowed, and hardened his conviction. He needed to rectify that fact, as soon as possible. He looked at his friends, and waved at them quickly. “I gotta go.”

“What? We’re not done with the assignment!” Miyoung called out.

“Later!” he said. “I gotta tell Sykkuno first that I like him!”

Miyoung stood there, dumbstruck. “But… aren’t they already in love from the beginning?”

When he got back to the dorm, Sykkuno was staring at the wall, as he usually did when he didn’t particularly know what he should be doing and he was bored as fuck. Toast dropped down his bag unceremoniously, took one of his jackets that Sykkuno liked so much, and grabbed the boy by the arm. Sykkuno was startled, blinking soft-slanted eyes at Toast in confusion. But he followed anyway when Toast tried to put him into the jacket.

“What are you doing, Toast?” he asked.

“Taking you out on a date,” Toast said nervously. “Let’s go to that café.”

Sykkuno looked surprised, but he looked pleased as well. So Toast thought that he should really try this because he would be willing to empty his wallet just to see that soft smile again. They went to that café by bus, and Toast tried to will his wild heartbeat to calm down as Sykkuno shyly leaned his head on his shoulder. It was just another habit they were used to, but they hadn’t talked nor touched properly these past three weeks, and it was absolute torture to go through. Everything that they had done a thousand times before now felt new and exhilarating to him.

There were some high-school girls who looked at them, and then giggled amongst themselves, and Toast was struck by another realization. It made sense now why some people would smile and giggle every time Sykkuno was halfway on his lap on the bus, or when they held hands, or when they were whispering so close without an inch of space between them. That also explained the stink eyes some people threw at them. They all had thought that Toast and Sykkuno were a couple. Again, it linked back to them being dumb as fuck.

The same waitress that had offered them the couple discount menu greeted them, but she regretfully informed them that this wasn’t the day for the discount. Toast smiled at her and said that it didn’t matter. They weren’t here for the discount anyway. They were here because they were stupid, and Toast really missed eating out with Sykkuno.

“Order anything you want,” he said to Sykkuno, who blinked and looked at him in awe.

“We can share?” Sykkuno offered, and Toast breathed out a sigh of relief. Some things didn’t change from their separation at least. He nodded, and Sykkuno went back to the menu happily. In the end, they ordered the exact same thing as the first time they had come here.

After the waitress had left, however, they were left in an awkward silence. Sykkuno was sitting in front of him, and Toast frowned. It didn’t feel right. So he stood up, and motioned for the boy to scoot over, before sitting next to him.

“Listen,” Toast said, suddenly losing his usual bravado, but very much wanting to go through with this. “I, uh, I missed you.”

Sykkuno bit his lip, and looked down, face flushed to the tip of his ears. “Me, too,” he said in a small voice. “I know that you’re uncomfortable with us being so close, so I tried to distance myself. But Toast,” he looked up, looking a touch too desperate, “it’s so hard. I feel so lost and confused without you. I don’t like this, at all. Let’s not do this again.”

“Yeah,” he said, reaching over to envelop Sykkuno in a hug, and feeling a stone in his lungs had been lifted when the boy buried his face in Toast’s neck. “I’m sorry. I was just panicking. It’s just- I wasn't uncomfortable. I was just surprised, but I didn’t know how to tell you that it’s okay. Maybe because I was confused, too.”

Sykkuno hummed, and tightened his hold on Toast’s back. “I’m sorry, too. For not talking about it properly, and going away instead. It was so weird, because no one gets the jokes I said, and no one offers me a finger to suck on, and just—I just missed you a lot.”

“I know,” he sighed out, feeling light and whole again now that Sykkuno was back to his side. “I’ve thought about it, though. So I’m not as confused now.”

“About what?” Sykkuno asked, pulling away a little from the hug.

“About—about us,” Toast stumbled, bit his lip momentarily before gearing himself up. “Look, I don’t think it’s a bad thing, that people think we’re dating. I was just too stupid to realize it back then. I mean, we’re already doing everything that people do when they date, except for the kissing, and sex. So, it’s not like it’s going to be very hard for us to do it. And, I mean, we’re compatible, too, right? You told me yourself that you like it best when you’re with me, so… so…”

Sykkuno sighed in fond exasperation and smiled at him. “So you’re saying we should date for real, this time?”

“Yeah,” Toast said, smiling sheepishly because he had a habit of going into tangent when he was really nervous, or excited about something. It was both, this time. “I like you,” he blurted out. “I realized that just now when I was busy being a brooding, angsty teenager over missing you.”

“That sounds like something you would do,” Sykkuno hummed in agreement. “Do you mean that? That you like me?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Kinda late now after one and a half year, but better late than never, right?”

Sykkuno grinned, and God, Toast missed that so much. “I like you, too,” he said softly. “Kinda realized that earlier than you, though. About a few days ago, when I went out with this guy from my class, I kept thinking about you instead. And it was kinda cruel of me to compare you and him, but it was actually quite useful because I had a Eureka moment when I realized that I like doing everything the best with you.”

“We’re such a dumbass,” Toast laughed, because his heart was full of flowers and the memory of Sykkuno's smiles as they lay on bed and talked about their dreams and wishes.

“It’s okay, though,” Sykkuno said, grinning and scooting close so he could lean his head on Toast’s shoulder. “It just means that we’re a good match.”

“I don’t think it’s a good thing to be proud about, honestly,” Toast said, but he held Sykkuno close anyway, and ran his hand through the soft hair. “But, yeah. It’s okay.”

As long as it was Sykkuno, Toast was amenable with anything, really.

The waitress came back with their orders, and smiled at their clasped hands. “Enjoy your meal,” she said softly, and left with spring on her steps.

“I missed this,” Sykkuno said as they ate. “Eating out with you, being close to you. I kinda don’t understand why I was stupid enough to stop.”

“Yeah, me too,” Toast agreed. “We can go out again later. And we don’t have to lie about us being a couple anymore.”

It pulled a grin out of Sykkuno. “That’s really nice to hear.”

Going back into their habits after three weeks of absence was easier than they thought. Maybe because they had been doing this for a long time, maybe because it just felt right when he had found the right person to give his heart to. It was fucking cheesy, but Toast couldn’t stop smiling as he looked at Sykkuno, feeling the warmth of their fingers interlinked.

“Does this mean we can kiss and have sex now?” Sykkuno then asked, and Toast choked on his cordon bleu.

Sykkuno patted his back in sympathy, and later on when they lay on bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. Toast inhaled the scent of his shampoo, the faint traces of body mist because Sykkuno couldn’t stand strong perfumes, and grinned like an idiot because he couldn’t believe that they were actually dating now. As in, for real dating, as in being together, as in romantically, as in they were an actual couple. It was a thought that made him hid his laughter on the crook of Sykkuno's neck.

“What is it?” Sykkuno mumbled sleepily, and he was fucking adorable when he was like this; hair mussed and sticking out in all direction, soft and pliant in Toast’s arms, warm and pretty and his.

“Nothing,” he said gently, brushing over the bangs covering Sykkuno's eyes. “Just happy.”

Sykkuno hummed, a soft smile on his lips. “It looks good on you.”

Toast couldn’t help the dopey grin on his face, and pulled Sykkuno in to hug him tightly. The boy went willingly, nuzzling on Toast’s neck and wrapped his arms and legs around him like a particularly sweet barnacle. There was a thought that suddenly went through his mind, though.

He struggled to sit up with their weight combined, but he managed to lean against the headboard, Sykkuno confused and sleepy in his lap. “What are we doing?” he whined. “Let’s sleep.”

“We will,” he assured the boy. “Can we kiss first, though?”

That woke Sykkuno up pretty fast. Toast would laugh at the way his eyes widened in excitement if he wasn’t so excited himself. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Absolutely. Gods, I thought you'd never ask.”

Toast laughed into the kiss, as their lips met tenderly, less of a kiss and more of their smiles meeting each other. It felt nice, though. Everything with Sykkuno felt really nice. Even when things turned out to be the worst, he would still be glad that it was Sykkuno next to him. He pulled Sykkuno closer by the waist, deepening the kiss when they finally got their giggles under control.

Kissing Sykkuno felt like tasting cotton candies and plunging headfirst into the cliff. There was the sweet taste of their drinks, and the acrid taste of tobacco. It was something on-brand for someone like Sykkuno, who had multiple depths in his personality than just his amiable front. Toast liked all of it.

Sykkuno moaned softly as their tongues tangled, running his fingers through Toast’s hair gently. His lips were soft, his body softer, warm and inviting. He made such adorable noises as Toast kissed him again and again, chasing after the taste of him until he was punch-drunk with it. He couldn’t believe they waited that long to experience this.

“Well,” Sykkuno breathed out after they inevitably had to separate from the lack of air. He looked disheveled, lips slick from saliva and face flushed prettily. It was a good look on him. They should do this more often, all the time. “That was—“

“Yeah,” Toast agreed, and they exchanged a grin before bursting out in laughter. “You’re so pretty. I like you.”

“You only like me because I’m pretty, huh,” Sykkuno said, faking a sniffle.

“Of course,” Toast went along easily, sliding down so they could lay on the bed again. “How come you’ve never realized that?”

“Ouch,” Sykkuno said, intertwining their fingers together, and marveled at it. “I knew it’ll end up like this. Kinda hard to regret it though. You’re worth it.”

“Of course I am,” Toast said confidently, and laughed when Sykkuno punched his side lightly. “Let’s not be that dumb again. We’ve wasted too much time being oblivious motherfuckers. We should spend the time with making out or having sex against the wall instead.”

“Are you even strong enough to hold me up against the wall?” Sykkuno asked, genuinely curious.

“Is that a challenge?” Toast quipped back.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Sykkuno teased back, then let out a happy sigh. “Let’s try it later, though. I really need to sleep.”

Toast nodded, and gave up his fingers when Sykkuno bit on them, before sucking on his thumb. Maybe Edison had been onto something when he commented on this particular habit they had. Oh, man, he couldn’t imagine the absolute shit they would get when they finally told their friends that they were dating. No wonder Miyoung and Yvonne complained so much about them after being exposed to so many unintentional PDAs.

He could think about it later, though. For now, he had no intention of doing anything but staying in bed as his boyfriend’s—boyfriend!—personal mattress and pacifier. He made himself comfortable, holding Sykkuno close, and fell asleep with a full belly, lips tingling from their kiss, sated and content with the person he liked the most in his arms.

It really was a perfect arrangement.