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My birthday party, I was supposed to have a great time. But they had to ruin it.
Most people were still in the main room of the rental party house. I really didn’t expect it to be this big of an event, just a few people hanging out and poorly dancing and singing.
But then my family got involved and now it was a huge party. And because of the huge group, it was hard to find anyone in particular. It was just a bunch of familiar faces in a space, some I didn’t even know. I don’t know why I even let this many people come.
As I pushed past the crowd, I kept my eyes peeled for a particular person. I had already asked the others if they saw them. But they all said that they hadn’t. It was weird that both Lily and Bad had been missing. And that they were holding hands before this. Why would they do that? They are supposed to be mine.
I decided to sit down and tried to drown out the music. But it was dancing music, I was supposed to dance with them. I don’t get it. They are one of my best friends. They knew that I liked them. So, why did they take them from me? I tapped my fingers on the table, watching everyone else dance with each other. I wish that I had someone to dance with.
Well, I do, but what’s the point in dancing if I’m not dancing with them? As I watched a couple put their foreheads together, I could see my vision start to get blurry. Not now. I can’t do that now. I just had to sit and wait. Maybe they would come back. And maybe they would offer me a dance. I smiled slightly at the thought. It was the only thing keeping the tears in my eyes.
A slither of light poured in. A door had opened. I turned around with a smile. A smile that faded as soon as I saw who was at the door. Lily and Bad just walk in. Like nothing was wrong. They looked confident, proud even.
They talked like they hadn’t seen each other in ages, not a single pause in their words. And even worse, they were still holding hands. Damn, Lily was even wearing his ring.
Why?
Why would they do this to me? I’ve done nothing but be nice to them this entire time. I trusted them. And as soon as I turn around, they betray me. What a great birthday surprise.
I didn’t even want to be in the room anymore. Even the image of dancing with him couldn’t stop the tears. Who the fuck cares? Who cares if I walk out? Who cares if I cry? It’s my party. I’ll cry if I want to.
I walk out of the room, head down so that I won’t be stopped by anyone on my way out. I walked through the hall and went into the men’s bathroom. I opened a stall and went in. Fuck this party.
She really had to steal him away from me. And then she had the courage, the selfishness, to show off her prize in front of me. I sat on the toilet, clothed, it might have been unsanitary, but I didn’t care. Who could blame me? You would cry too if it happened to you.
Even after the tears had dried from his face, Skeppy sat in the stall. Even though he could hear the music playing through the walls, he didn’t want to dance.
The music he had picked, didn’t seem as good anymore. And leaving the bathroom to go talk to Bad and the rest of his friends didn’t seem so appealing anymore.
He really just wanted to sit in the stall until the party was over. Ha, he didn’t want to stay at a party that he had planned, isn’t that ironic? Or just pathetic? It was already pathetic to be sitting here, in a disgusting bathroom, on a disgusting toilet.
He really should go back out there, it wasn’t like he was getting over it any better in here. And maybe talking to them would help him.
He got up off of the seat and opened the stall door. As it creaked open, he could faintly see Bad looking at him with a worried expression. But, it was more like a hallucination. Just his imagination. His brain trying to turn the situation around and make him think that Bad cared about him. He must have been in there for a while, did anyone even think of going to look for him?
He opened the bathroom door and the muffled music became clear. The colors came back into his vision and he was happy for a second as he saw blue flash in front of him. But he was sucked out of his mind (and thoughts of “ooooh, my favorite color,”) a second later as he saw the people.
All of these people dancing, talking to each other, smiling, laughing, and just having a way better time than he was having. He sighed as he picked his face up from a frown. He couldn’t be looking sad now, it would ruin the mood. He had his time to be sad in the bathroom. He walked back to where he had last left Ant. But he was probably with Velvet, so Skeppy turned the other way.
It wasn’t a good time to see a couple.
He found TapL sitting at a table with Puffy. Skeppy made sure he was smiling and walked over to sit by them. He sat by Puffy and joined in on their conversation so that they would notice him.
The happy birthdays and how are yous came in and Skeppy was struck with pain once again, but held that bright smile, responding with “thank you”s and “I’m doing good”s.
They didn’t seem to see anything wrong with his responses and added him into the conversation. As much as he tried to, he really couldn’t listen to them. He wondered if it was because of the loud music. But it allowed him to look away and see Bad and Lily.
He couldn’t stop staring at them, watching their every movement together. Bad was saying something, using every expression that he could, probably telling a story. And it would get to parts where she would laugh and lightly tap on his shoulder. He would smile at her, only fondness showing in his eyes. Why did he like her so much?
He woke up the next day with no blankets on him. He sat up and yawned as he stretched. He looked down at his phone and tapped the screen to check the time. 10am, a pretty good time to wake up. He yawned again, then he remembered. Yesterday. Bad. Lily. He laid back down and pulled the covers over himself, he didn’t want to be awake anymore. So, he wasn’t going to be and fell back asleep.
“Hey, Skeppy are you good?” Skeppy whipped his head back towards them and just looked at them. Then he processed what Puffy asked him.
“Oh yeah, I’m good. I’m just tired and the music is kind of giving me a headache.” Skeppy replied.
“Do you want to go somewhere quieter? If it hurts that much, you should probably go lay down as well.” Hurt that badly? Oh. His face was wet. How do you not notice you’re crying?
“Yeah, I should probably go home,” Skeppy said.
“Home?” They asked.
“Yeah, I’m not really feeling well. But it’s not worth canceling the party over. Have fun!” Skeppy didn’t listen to their arguments.
He just walked straight to the door. He grabbed the handle and there was a faint hold on his hand. He turned and saw there was nothing there. It was just his mind playing tricks on him again.
He opened the door and walked out into the darkness. People would be leaving soon anyway, he shouldn’t feel bad about leaving himself. It’s not like he has to clean afterward. He would just tip them more for the inconvenience. He walked to his car and unlocked it, getting in the front seat.
He looked once more at the building, staring at it for a while to see if anyone would come out of it. But no one. He told them to stay inside anyway, there’s no reason that they should be coming out.
He turned the key and drove off. He was Bad’s ride. Well, he can carpool with that girl or call him if he needs to. Skeppy wasn’t going to wait there in misery for Bad to walk out.
And although he was hoping that Bad would call, when he did, he regretted having that hope. Now, they were in a car together. Together with Lily in the backseat. Lily and Bad in the backseat. They still talked about whatever random things came up in their minds and played footsies and poked each other like they were still kids.
To think that these two were grown adults, they surely don’t act like they are. But maybe that was just his jealously talking. Because he wouldn’t give two shits if it were anyone else. And what he would do if it were him sitting there instead of Lily.
He was thankful that he dropped Lily off at her house first, that way they wouldn’t have an argument on the way there. Then again, an argument would be better than the praise that was gushing out of Bad’s mouth about her.
He was happy to be in a relationship with one of his best friends. And Skeppy really should have been happy as well. And so, he tried his best. And he smiled. He didn’t show Bad any sadness that he might have felt, not a teardrop or a frown would be shown on his face. And Bad smiled with Skeppy as he went on another rant about how great Lily was. How great Lily was, to score a guy like Bad.
He sat in his bed as a tear fell down his cheek. But that was all he let himself have as he laid back on his back. Skeppy wondered if Bad would move out. They’ve been friends for a while, so they could be moving in together pretty soon. And when he does move out, what is Skeppy going to do with the empty bedroom? Would it just be another spare bedroom like it was last time? He didn’t want to think about it too much as he rolled over. He covered his ears and focused on the sound that his ears make as he pressed them closed. Some people say that it sounds like ocean waves. They kind of sounded like waves, but not really. He thought about it as he fell asleep for the second time.
Awake. He was awoken by a knock on his bedroom door. He took of his covers for a second, going to open the door for whoever was there. But it was probably just Bad, so he picked up the blanket and put it over his face as well as the rest of his body.
“Skeppy! We’re going to be late if you sleep anymore.” Bad yelled as he knocked again. Skeppy just groaned, more like a yell as it was loud enough for Bad to hear through the door and rolled over again.
“Skeppy, you can’t sleep in all day. You have a party to go to.” Bad replied. It was probably a fucking stupid party for Bad and Lily’s realization of love for each other.
“Mememememe.” Skeppy replied as he rolled over again.
“Skeppy! You have to get up, we can’t just cancel the party!” Bad said.
“UGHGHHUGGGUH,” Skeppy groaned again as he rolled over again.
And for the last time as he fell off of the bed with a yell.
The door slammed open as Bad came in, “Skeppy are you okay?” Skeppy just stared at the wall, his cheek laying on the cold floor. “Skeppy?”
“Yeah, I’m okay Bad.”
Bad sighed as he walked to the door again.
“You better hurry up, we only have,” He paused, “an hour! Skeppy hurry up!” Bad closed his door. Although Skeppy really didn’t want to go wherever Bad wanted to go, he had to. He rolled out of the blankets and started to get ready.
He was right back at his birthday party. Had he just dreamed about it before? Was that just a terrible nightmare? He didn’t think into it too much and just tried to enjoy himself this time. If it was all just a dream, then his best friend wouldn’t just betray him like that.
Besides, he and Bad were with each other the entire night. It was a much better night than he had previously, but still, he wasn’t able to confess his feelings.
Well, at least not during the party. That entire time spent with Bad and he hadn’t said a word. It was only as they sat on the couch that night, watching whatever random movie that Bad put on. Skeppy wasn’t the kind to prepare for a moment like this, though he regrets not rehearsing as he looked at the man beside him.
Stared would be a better word, admiring all of his features, comparing them to the many other bright things in the world. And then Bad turned to stare back at him. Skeppy’s smile grew the more that they stared, just as much as Bad’s confusion grew.
“What’s up, Skeppy?” Bad asked.
Skeppy’s smile grew bigger and red cloaked his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out and laughter replaced the silence. Bad was still confused but smiled, wondering if he had missed a joke. When Skeppy’s laughter subsided, he knew what he was going to say.
“I love you, Bad.”
Bad was still as confused as ever as he replied, “I love you too, Skeppy. But why did you just start laughing?”
Even though he knew Bad wasn’t returning his feelings, he was still thankful to get his feeling off of his chest. “Don’t worry about it, Bad.” And so Bad didn’t worry about it.
He had woken up too many times now, he really had to get up. It was most likely afternoon now. He pulled off his covers and looked at his phone for the time. It was twelve.
He really didn’t feel like he slept, it was more like he was awake during it all. He got out of his bed and put on some clothes that he could walk outside in. Even if he went to sleep at midnight, that still left him with twelve hours of sleep.
And two dreams about a yearning for Bad. And Lily was the antagonist. Who was Lily? Skeppy didn’t even know. She was just some made-up dream character that he can’t even remember well enough to describe.
He cursed his mind for being able to dream so vividly, and unlike most people, he cursed being able to remember those dreams afterward. It really fucked with him when he woke up, especially now as he walks through his empty house.
He didn’t even like Bad like that, they were just friends. Besides, he didn’t even live with or near enough to be able to imagine what it might be like to have a birthday party with him.
Why he had been cursed with such absurd dreams, he didn’t know. But he blamed it on his music and decided that he wouldn’t listen to love songs for a while.