Chapter Text
"What's this?" Hawke said, picking up a scribbled piece of paper from Ander's desk.
"That?" Anders asked as he reached for the paper, taking it from Hawke's hand. "Oh, this." He shrugged. "It's a recipe for a potion. I've been doing some research and I think it might help separate me from Justice."
"Really? But I thought…"
"Things have been growing more difficult, lately," Anders replied, hoping Hawke wouldn't notice the obvious lie. "Justice and I have actually come to an agreement that, though the plight of mages is dire, it's too big a problem for just the two of us to fix. Besides, a spirit's true home is in the Fade."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Raine asked in concern.
"Actually, there is," Anders answered. "I've already found everything on the list. But something's missing. I was wondering…" the mage hesitated. "I still need to do some research. Find out what's missing from the formula. But I can't get into the Gallows to research. I was wondering if there might be something that could help me in the Chantry library. Is it possible that you could, maybe, distract the Grand Cleric for me? Just for a little while. Long enough for me to sneak into their library and out again. I promise it won't take long."
"Why not just ask Sebastian?" Hawke suggested. "I know the two of you don't exactly get along, but I can't imagine him not wanting to help with something like this. Or I could ask Carver to maybe help smuggle you some books. I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to gloat over you 'coming to your senses' as he would say." Ygraine did her best Carver impersonation.
"No need to bother your brother."
"You sure? He's coming by this afternoon to spend time with Andra." She shook her head as she continued. "Couldn't get him to visit after leaving him behind for the Deep Roads, but for her…"
Anders laughed. "Couldn't get him to not be a shit brother, but he's a terrific uncle?"
"That's about it," Raine agreed. "You sure you don't want me to ask?"
"I'm sure," Anders replied a little too decisively. "We still don't know how deep he is in Meredith's pockets. For all we know he visits Andra to make sure she's not a mage," he said with a sneer. "It's entirely one thing to have the Champion of Kirkwall wandering the city a free apostate. But to have her spawning an entire family of them. I'm sure it gives the Knight-Commander nightmares."
"Really?" Hawke crossed her arms in annoyance. "That's low. Even for you." She turned, retrieving her staff from where she had propped it against the wall when she came in. "You can talk to Sebastian yourself. Or get one of your underground mages to pass a note to Carver," she said on her way out. "I'll come back to check on you later this week. That is, if you're not in a foul mood then as well."
"Raine…" Anders called out as she left the clinic, but it was too late. She was already gone and not about to turn back.
The healer's shoulders slumped slightly with the rejection. The two of them had grown apart somewhat since the birth of Hawke's daughter, and to add to the situation, Justice had grown far more impatient with their cause. The spirit demanded they do something, take action like they had not before. Sneaking a handful of mages out of the Gallows a few at a time was no longer enough, not with the fear of Hawke's daughter potentially being a mage hanging over their heads. Hawke may have the mistaken confidence that Meredith would leave Andra alone, but Anders, and Justice as well, were sure that if the child ever showed even a modicum of magical talent, Meredith herself would likely show up on Hawke's doorstep to claim the girl.
Her complacency makes her blind.
"I fear for her. For them both."
Which is why we need to act. Now. We don't need her to distract the fool Cleric. Soon, all will know what complacency breeds.
"Soon…" the mage whispered. "Yes. All too soon."
*****
Hawke entered her home from the cellar as normal when she visited Anders, her mind unsettled from their conversation. Something was wrong with her friend. She just couldn’t quite figure it out. First there was that fake potion recipe. She may not be the greatest of alchemists, but Hawke knew that whatever it was that Anders was brewing had nothing to do with Justice or the Fade. Second, his request to distract the Grand Cleric didn't sit well with her. Why would he even be looking for a book on magic and the Fade in the Chantry's library? That, with coupled with his refusal to get help from Carver with locating a possible answer in the Gallows, tripped every internal warning she had.
"Raine?" she heard Fenris from the door to the study.
"Hmmm?" she questioned absently. "I'm sorry, Fenris. I'm a little distracted."
"Is everything alright?" His question was tinged with worry. Though he had tolerated Anders' presence a little more since he helped with not only bringing him and Hawke back together, but with the birth of their daughter, he was still suspicious of the mage and his spirit companion.
"No, it's not. Is Carver here, yet?"
"He is. He and Andra are out in the garden with the Talon. Why?" Fenris couldn't help but worry. He had learned better how to pick up on her moods the past several years since he had moved in. This particular mood he had only seen one other time, and that was when a rogue, dwarven Carta clan had attacked her and her brother at the command of a twisted, ancient Tevinter magister turned darkspawn.
"I just need a favor from him, that's all," Hawke replied, trying to set his worries at ease.
"What's going on, Raine?" Fenris pushed the issue. Something was definitely wrong if she was coming back from Anders' clinic wanting to ask a favor of her Templar brother.
"I'm not sure. Maybe nothing."
"Don't give me that," he continued. "First you come back from the mage's clinic, distracted and looking worried. Then you talk about asking your brother, the Templar, for a favor? No. Don't tell me it's 'probably nothing.'"
"I'm not sure. But you're right. Something is off about him. He's been distant lately. More so than he has been the last year. I'm worried about him, Fenris."
Fenris stepped forward, pulling her into a warm hug. He knew how much it hurt her to suspect the other mage. They were the best of friends, or had been until about a year ago when the two had began growing distant.
"Is this why you have yet to tell him about being ill recently?"
"That's actually why I went to see him this morning. But things happened, and I got side tracked."
"Ygraine," Fenris growled. "This is your health we are talking about. You've been ill every morning for the past two weeks."
Hawke chuckled. Oh, her beautiful elven warrior had missed so much the first time through this. "I'm not ill, Fenris. And another day or two for Anders' magical confirmation isn't going to make any difference."
"Ygraine!" Fenris interrupted as he let her go and began pacing in annoyance. "I've seen you in the mornings. You can hardly hold down your breakfast. That is if you even make it that far before falling ill. How can you ignore…"
"Fenris," Raine laughed, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him to her to stop his pacing. "I'm not sick. I'm pregnant."
The elf stood still in shock, mouth open to make an argument. "Again?" he gasped in surprise.
"Yes, again," she rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "It tends to happen more than once, you know. Especially when two people enjoy each other as much as we do," she replied, resting her forehead against his.
"But…"
"I've been ill. I know. It's how I know, actually. It's perfectly normal for the first few months. It'll go away eventually."
"How can that be normal?"
"My body is adjusting. That's all."
"Seems like entirely too much misery for anyone to do it more than once," he grumbled.
Raine leaned in and kissed him gently. She knew his problem was worry for her sake. For the fact that she would be the one that was uncomfortable and, quite literally, bearing the weight of this. It only endeared him more to her. "Yes. But when I see you play with Andra, the way you light up with her in your arms when she smiles at you…" Her voice faltered just a little with emotion. That at least, the wild emotional ride she was embarking on, was something Fenris was familiar with. "To see that, I would give you an entire horde of little ones. And I'm sure you wouldn't object to making them, either."
"Still seems like an unfair trade, if you ask me," Fenris answered lightly, kissing her briefly.
"Oh, I don't know. I get months of you doting on me, trying to take care of my every need," she laughed gently at the memory. Fenris had been near beside himself the months following when he found out about her first pregnancy. "I think it all works out in the end."
*****
Ygraine smiled at Carver as he entered the study after putting Andra down and tucking her in for the night. "She adores you, you know."
"She reminds me so much of Bethany, it almost hurts some days."
"She would have made a terrific aunt."
"That she would have." Carver cleared his throat, loosening the emotional knot there. "So what is it that you needed to speak to me about?"
"I need you to look into something for me. Nothing illicit, but I still need you to keep it secret."
"Sister," Carver growled in warning.
"Please," Ygraine begged. "If I didn't think it was important, you know I wouldn't ask. And if it turns out to be anything that needs taking care of, I promise you I'll let you be the one to take care of it."
That held Carver's attention. "You know I'd be taking care of it as a Templar?"
"Believe me," Hawke sighed. "I know."
"Alright," Carver agreed. What ever it was, not only was it enough to get his sister to ask him for help, but also that she was calling on him as a Templar for that help, showed not only how important it was for her, but just how urgent as well. "What is it that I need to look into?"
"Just some ingredients," she said handing him a list. "I need to know what different combinations of these particular substances might be used for."
"That's it?"
"For now."
Carver looked at her skeptically. How could a simple list of ingredients cause her to worry so much?
"I know I'm being cryptic. Trust me on this. Please?"
Her brother nodded. "Fine," he relented. "I'll see what I can do. I have a mage friend in the Gallows that I think I can trust with this. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
"Thanks, brother," Raine said, crossing to give her brother a hug. "I promise to make it up to you."
"You'd better."
They both laughed. "I need to be going."
"Let me walk you to the door."
*****
Later that night, Hawke lay in bed, curled up against Fenris, soaking in the familiarity of his presence, praying to all that was holy that she was overreacting.