Chapter Text
Saeki Meets a Strange Girl Named Arisu
My name is Saeki Sayaka, and I am a second-year university student. More accurately, I will be a second-year after the break. There is nothing special about me. I’m bright but have never been at the top of my class. I’m a follower, not a leader. For the last year, I have been rather lost because the woman I had been following had rejected my confession in favor of another woman. I didn’t begrudge her that choice. Maybe if I had been braver, things might have been different. As I said, I’m a follower, and I had been loyally following Nanami Touko. Touko might have accepted my confession if I’d taken the risk earlier. Instead, I had taken the safe path and had been her best friend, never stepping out of the shadows and risking everything. But enough of that.
It was in the first week of break, and I was considering if I should look for a job or study for next year when I was called to the family phone, an unusual occurrence. The person on the other end of the line apologized for calling. It was a woman who I would have guessed was middle-aged. Her tone was hesitant and flustered. I assured her it was okay, even though I wasn’t sure it was. Then she made an odd request, “My daughter, Toohana-chan, is in the hospital and is asking to see you.” There was a pause. “You don’t have to worry. It’s not infectious.”
“Your daughter wants me to visit?” It was puzzling. The name meant nothing to me, nor had I heard of anyone going to the hospital recently. I had never done volunteer work, so I couldn’t be on any list of people who visit those laid up in the hospital. I didn’t mind doing good things for people, but I didn’t go out of my way to be charitable, either.
She continued, “Yes, it would be such a big help. If you could go in the next couple of days, I would appreciate it so much.” She then gave me the address of the hospital.
“I suppose I can do that.” I didn’t know what to say. It seemed rude and selfish to say no. On the other hand, it was so unexpected. I hoped they would not ask me to donate an organ or something. “Would tomorrow morning do?”
“That would be wonderful. I need to work, but I will leave your name. Just ask for Toohana Arisu, room 202, in the trauma ward.” She then bid me goodbye and hung up before I could ask questions.
“That was weird,” I thought. I hoped it wouldn’t be too much trouble, but I didn’t see any way of getting out of it. Besides, I was curious about who Toohana Arisu could be and why she wanted to see me. My life had been placid since starting college, and a little excitement might be nice.
****
I had said I would visit Toohana-san, so I did. The hospital staff showed me to her room and saw a girl with bandages on her head and an arm in one of those soft casts. She had dyed red hair; I think they call the color “burnt sienna.” It poked out from under her bandages. Dark bruises showed under her eyes. Her face was swollen, so it was hard to see what she would normally look like. She peered at me with a shy smile.
“Hello, are you Saeki-san?”
“So, she didn’t know me either,” I thought.
“You can come closer. This may be an odd question, but do you know me?” She paused and looked embarrassed. I’d be embarrassed to ask something like that. She continued, “I was in a motor scooter accident and lost my memory.”
“What, this is too weird,” I thought. “Is this an elaborate joke? This is just like the play the student council put on in high school.” It didn’t look like a put-up. She looked hurt. I didn’t think you could do makeup well enough to have such convincing bruises. Besides, why would anyone go to that much trouble to play a prank on me?
“No, I don’t think we have met,” I responded politely.
She looked disappointed and lost. “You go to Hakobukota University, right? I’m going to be a freshman there.”
“Yes, I’m going to be a second year.”
Then she did something I would get used to, popping off a question that I would never dream of asking. “Are you smart?”
“How am I supposed to answer that? Saying yes is so vain, but saying no is dishonest.” I worked on how to answer the question and came up with, “I’m not at the top of my class, but my grades are good.”
Then she floored me. After all, we had only known each other for ten minutes, tops. “Would you tutor me? I think I remember most of what I learned in high school, but it’s fuzzy. The doctor says I need to ‘work’ those memories, or I might lose them. I need someone to help me do that. My parents will pay you, I’m sure. They’re worried I may fail because of my accident.”
She looked hopeful; her eyes glowed. I noticed her free hand, however, was bunched up, holding the bedsheet tightly. This seemed very important to her. I had been thinking of working, and this would be easy. I might even improve my grades as a result. “Sure, I can do that.”
She let go of the sheet and cocked her head. She winced at the motion, but that shy smile appeared again. It was a gorgeous smile, bright and showed off even white teeth. “Oh, thank you so much. My name is Toohana Arisu. That’s with the kanji for ‘distant.’ But you can call me Arisu. I hope you will be my friend; I think you would make a good friend, and I need one.”
This girl was so direct. I wasn’t sure how to deal with her. So, I retreated into being business-like. I got a list of subjects she wanted to go over and her mother’s phone number, so I could be paid. She had written of subjects on the back of something I would get used to, a mysterious poem written in English (Note 1):
Even when a light fills a space
And even though the space is a hole
It all began with no one
And even though the night hurts so much
And even though the morning is so low
It all began with no one
(Note 2)
Having gotten what I needed, I bid her goodbye and left.
In some ways, she reminded me of the first girl who confessed to me. That mixture of directness and wanting to be my friend for no reason at all. The second girl as well, but not as much. Toohana-san seemed basically honest, unlike my first girlfriend, “Yuzuki-senpai.” I hoped this would work out better than those relationships. But I was getting ahead of myself. We weren’t even friends yet, no matter what Toohana-san said.
The line of the poem struck a sympathetic note though, “It all began with no one.” There was no one in my life at the moment besides casual friends, family, and high school friends I was drifting away from. I suppose if you have lost your memory, it would feel that way too. If you had friends, you wouldn’t know them. You might very well grab hold of the first friendly face you met.
The Girl Who Sees Ghosts
Toohana-san proved easy to tutor. She was poor at English syntax but had an astounding English vocabulary. Her Japanese was reasonable; she had most of the basic kanji down, but was spotty on less common kanji. Her history was poor. I’m guessing she had learned most of it in cram school and promptly forgotten it after passing her entrance exams. Her math was reasonable; she was weak at memorized formulas but said she liked the logic of math and quickly picked it up. It made me wonder how she got into our college. Not to brag, but our college was a high-level one. Unless one was incredibly lucky, it would be near-impossible to get in with half-hearted study habits (Note 3). Her scholarship didn’t seem to be up to the level I would have expected. At least when I was there, she applied herself and showed a great deal of intelligence. She also studied while I wasn’t there, but like me, she focused on what she liked, not always what she needed to study the most. That might not be a fair comparison; I think I stick to studying what I need to better than she did. Something we shared was we both loved learning new things. When I told her, “Yes, it makes me happy to gain more knowledge (Note 4). Whenever I learn something new, the uncertain parts of my vision become clearer, as though I were putting on perception glasses (Note 5).” She nodded and gave me one of her smiles that lit up her face. For her, that was history; I could give her as much history reading as I wanted. But she was slow with the kanji I thought she should work on. I scolded her about it, and she took it with good humor. What I remember is she would stare into my face when I would lecture her. Her dark eyes seemed to lock on to my face. At first, I thought she was paying close attention to what I said, but sometimes she didn’t have any idea of what I was saying. Whatever had her rapt attention, it wasn’t my words.
As a favor, she asked me to pick up a tablet or e-reader from her house and if I could find a diary. I found neither, and she appeared more upset about the e-reader. I found her interest in an e-reader strange since her grasp of Japanese literature was abysmal. She had a surprising familiarity with English classics, though. Another one of those mysteries.
The next time I came, she had a high-end e-reader her mother had bought her. She showed me the contents, and it was clear why she was poor in Japanese literature. She had bought and downloaded a lot of manga and light novels. The authors included Takemiya Jin (竹宮ジン), Canno (缶乃), Tatsubon, and Irume Hitoma (入間人間). It turned out she was a voracious reader. She would sometimes make me read bits out loud to her. Bits that she thought were powerful or funny. That is how I learned that her reading seemed to be confined to horror and stories about girls being in love with each other. I suspected she was like me and was attracted to women instead of men. I couldn’t ask her, of course. To make up for the simple nature of her normal reading, I assigned her a few things to read that had been required reading in high school or as a freshman to broaden her horizons. She did this grudgingly, complaining about how difficult the kanji was.
At the start of my second week of tutoring, I was about to enter her room when I could hear a woman’s voice come out of the room, shrill with anger, “What do you mean writing those things? How dare you!”
“I don’t know what those things are since I don’t remember my past, but I’m sure that if I wrote them, they are true.” Toohana-san’s voice sounded tired.
“And it says you planned to drive your scooter off that cliff. Is that true?”
“No, I saw a yuurei (ghost/幽霊) and it tricked me into driving off the cliff.”
“You little liar!”
A woman with graying hair came flying out of the room. She had in her hand what looked like a cheap diary. The kind with a lock anyone can force.
The woman waved it at me and said, “And you’re probably just like her, you nasty thing.”
Toohana-san shouted out the door, “Hey, I want that; it’s my diary!” But the woman was already gone.
I was about to leave as well when Toohana-san called out, “Come on in, Saeki-san. It’s all over now.” Since I refused to call her Arisu, she remained formal herself and called me Saeki-san or sometime Saeki-sensei or Saeki-senpai. She was always respectful and seemed to look up to me. She made a perfect kouhai. I was unsure how I felt about that. It was flattering, but no one had ever attached themselves to me that way before.
I entered the room tentatively. Toohana-san sat up and put on a smile. She seemed happy to see me. “Do you believe in yuurei?” she asked. The sudden question didn’t startle me, since I was used to her way of just asking things out of the blue.
I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve never seen one, so I guess I don’t.”
She said seriously, “You should Saeki-sensei. I see them all the time. There are lots in the hospital. They all look lost and lonely. I try not to let them know I can see them; I don’t want them to bother me. It’s not like I could help them.”
I knew some people believe in that kind of stuff, but I had never been one of them. In high school, I had been on the student council, and most of those people were pretty levelheaded, so I hadn’t been exposed to too much talk about yuurei. Toohana-san seemed serious though, and it wasn’t like her to make stuff up, even in fun.
“But keep it a secret, okay? I mentioned it once to the doctors, and they thought I was hallucinating. You can’t imagine how many medical tests they ran. Now, I keep my mouth shut about it.”
That made sense. They could be hallucinations. That seemed possible given that Toohana-san had hit her head in her motor scooter accident. But it wasn’t my place to tell the doctors. I would keep Toohana-san’s secret unless they asked me. Who knows, maybe she saw yuurei.
“Did a yuurei really trick you into driving off a cliff?” My question was uncertain. This was all new to me, and it seemed far-fetched. My boldness in asking surprised me, but if Toohana-san could do it, so could I.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything before I woke up in the hospital. But I suppose if my diary says I planned to kill myself, that is what happened. But don’t worry, with a friend like you, I wouldn’t think of doing it again.”
Then she popped another of her disconcerting questions. “You don’t have a boy or girlfriend, do you?” She didn’t pause for an answer. “I don’t suppose you do, or you wouldn’t have so much time for me. That makes me glad; I knew there must be a reason I knew your name when I didn’t even know my own. IT’S FATE!”
I didn’t know if I believed in fate any more than I believed in yuurei, but if Toohana-san thought it was true, she was likely to make it true. I seemed to have gotten caught up in the gravity of another larger-than-life personality. It wasn’t love, like with Touko, but it might be fate. Still, she hardly knew me, so it was odd she would say that.
It turned out mine wasn’t the only name she remembered. She drew up a list and insisted I see if any went to our university. The list was:
Aihara Yuru Aihara Mei
Shiramine Ayaka Kurosawa Yurine
Kazama Ushio Murasame Sumika
Fukuzawa Yumi Oohashi Rei
Kamikoshi Sorawo Nishina Toriko
Tedeza Rize Ujimatsu Chiya
Kotobuki Tsumugi Akiyama Mio
(Note 6)
When I reported I had found none, Toohana-san said, “That’s alright; I found most of them in various manga and novels. It appears I have a better memory for fictional characters than real people. I’m glad your name at least matched a real person.” She was always making me uncomfortable that way. I just didn’t know how to respond when she flirted with me. But it felt weird having an underclassman get so familiar.
We didn’t always study. Sometimes we read, and other times we played card games. I didn’t care much for this, but Toohana-san said she was bored. When I said I was sure her parents wouldn’t want to pay for me to play cards, she shrugged and said, “It’s up to you if you bill them for that time. I won’t contradict you.”
I had to refuse, finally. “No, Toohana-san. It isn’t right to play games with you and get paid for it.”
“I was wondering how long you would go along with that. You’re such a good girl. I imagine you didn’t actually bill my parents for that time, but were doing it for free. Since you won’t play games with me anymore, could I get you to do me another favor? Please don’t ask questions. Could you bring me a change of clothes and not let my parents or the hospital know about it?”
I spoke, but she interrupted me. “No questions.”
I returned the next day with the clothes she had requested. She asked me to close the door, and then she put them on.
“They are releasing you?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
“No. The doctors want to keep me here doing tests and trying to help me get my memory back. It won’t work. I won’t remember; I’m not sure I want to remember. Besides, my parents are complaining about the expense of the hospital. So, I’m going to make them happy and leave AMA.”
I looked puzzled.
“‘Against medical advice.’ They can’t keep me here against my will. Except for the amnesia, I’m surprisingly healthy. Look at me; don’t I look okay?” I took a close look at her and it was true she looked okay. The swelling in her face had gone down, and the bruises had almost disappeared. It was then that I noticed she had a pretty face. It was a nice, slender oval with dark almond-shaped eyes. Above this were fine, slender arched eyebrows and long lashes. Her mouth was pleasingly shaped as well, very expressive, with fine teeth that showed when she smiled. It was just the kind of face I fell for. A beautiful face.
She smiled at me as if noticing my scrutiny, which embarrassed me even though she had asked me to examine her.
“See,” she said, “I’m fine.” So, saying, she walked out of the hospital. When I called her house, her mother just hung up on me. My last memory of her was of her walking out of the hospital and I thought out of my life.
The Stalking of Saeki
I was eating lunch with a university friend. It was a couple of weeks into the new term. I was only half-listening to her talk about some boy she had met. Actually, I was thinking about a paper I needed to write for an English Lit class. Arisu-san would have been handy for that. Funny, I thought of her by her first name. She might have been a distant flower now, but when she was around, there had been nothing distant about her. She said whatever popped into her head. What you saw was what you got. No, that wasn’t right; she had lots of secrets. Like that she saw yuurei. Only I knew that, and I don’t think she had been fooling me.
“Sayaka-san, are you listening?”
I came back to the present. I don’t know why this friend insisted on using my given name even though I hadn’t given her permission. “Sorry, I was thinking about a paper I had to write.”
“That’s okay. I was just asking if you know an underclassman who has been asking questions about you. She is middle height and has red puddling (dyed hair where the roots show) hair. Let’s see, she paints her nails black and wears long loose black dresses or Gothic stuff. Oh yes, she is usually wearing an ornate silver cross. I imagine she dresses as a maid or in one of those Lolita Goth outfits when not at school.”
I shook my head, no. I didn’t know anyone like that. Surely I would remember someone that flamboyant.
“I was wondering because I just saw her sitting over there watching you. I was going to point her out, but when she saw me looking, she left.”
After that, I started noticing her. Once you knew what you were looking for, she was easy to spot. She almost always dressed in black with red accents. She was never close enough that I could tell what kind of jewelry she was wearing, but it certainly could have been a silver cross. When I had lectures, she would take a seat in the lecture hall behind me. I could feel her eyes on me. It didn’t take me long to figure out it was Toohana Arisu.
I tried to approach her a few times, but she fled every time I approached. Her behavior mystified and worried me. I started keeping an eye out for her and my concern grew after seeing her at the train station several times. Not that she ever did anything threatening. At the station, for example, she would stand on the other side where she could see across, but would be hard to see. In the lecture halls, she always sat behind me and as far away as she could, making sure there were people in the way of a direct line of sight. She always tried to leave a little before the lecture was over, and if she couldn’t, she would be one of the first ones out the door. I started worrying that I had a stalker when I found one of her poems in my book bag. I am not sure how she got it in there without my seeing.
Couldn’t sleep, so I went out walking
Thinking about you and hearing us talking
And all the things I should have said
Echo now, inside my head
I feel something falling from the sky
I’m so sad I made the angels cry
Tears from the moon
Fall down like rain
I reach for you
I reach in vain
Tears from the moon
Tears from the moon
Stop, Stop haunting me
It should be easy
As easy as when you stopped wanting me
But tears from the moon can’t wash away the pain
(Note 7)
Things changed suddenly one day. “I was between lectures in college. I’d left my friend who was in the same lecture to steal a short moment of alone time. The bench behind the building was empty, with only the shadow from the wall to keep me company. The scenery that accompanied it – the sunlight streaming through the leaves and the mild fragrance from the trees – reminded me of the path to the student council room… The clouds kept moving without a pause and left the sun behind. When the sunlight suddenly shone directly on me, I lowered my eyes and almost closed them. There, my gaze fell on a pair of feet. It was so sudden; I was slightly taken aback (Note 8).”
I had barely raised my head to see who it was when I found Toohana-san tugging on my arm. It was sudden and startled me. “What…”
“There is no time, Sayaka; you must come. She’s haunted! It would be terrible to talk to her!”
She tugged on my arm again. The frightened look in her eye convinced me something was going on, and I rose and followed. As I left, I caught a look on the girl’s face. She had been crying, but now she looked startled and sad.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I got my breath back.
“I’ll explain in a minute,” was the answer I got.
Toohana-san hurried me to my next class, a lecture. I didn’t need to ask how she knew where I needed to go; I knew. While we hurried there, I took the time to look at her. She was distinctive, very much like my friend had described. She had dyed her short hair a burnt sienna color, but black roots showed. It could do with a touch-up. She was dressed in a full-length black dress. If I hadn’t been so startled by Toohana-san suddenly grabbing me, I would have noticed it right away. She wore a stark black dress with fancy laced sleeves and a fur collar. It was not casual university dress; it was a Gothic fashion statement. I could get a glimpse of her shoes and they seemed to be high black leather with sturdy heels. Cavalier heels, I think they are called. I don’t think she had any makeup on, but I could smell the scent of lavender. She had earrings that consisted of a dangling red teardrop stone. She wore not one but two large crosses, about three to four inches long. One was ornate silver with a red stone at the center, and the other was iron or steel with no stone. She would later correct me and tell me they were called crucifixes. She didn’t seem to take any chances on protections from spirits. I wondered if she also had Shinto charms. I would later discover that she had several sewn into her clothes.
It made me wonder about Toohana-san’s sanity. A suicide attempt, amnesia, following me, strange poems, and her bizarre appearance all seemed to show a problem. Her outfit was attractive enough, but was more suited to Akihabara than our university. On the other hand, when I knew her at the hospital, she had seemed sane enough; overly familiar, confused at times, and expressing a belief she saw yuurei, but sane. She hadn’t harped on yuurei though; I think we only had that one conversation on the subject.
When we got to the lecture hall, we sat down, and she took a seat next to me. “Toohana-san, you don’t have this class, do you?”
“No, but if I leave this seat unoccupied, she will sit here, and I will lose you. I know you hate me, Senpai, but I still want to be your friend. I can make up for whatever I did to offend you. Just tell me what it was.”
She seemed to run down at this point. I just looked at her for a moment. What in the world had given her that idea? Maybe she was paranoid, and I just hadn’t noticed before. “What gave you that idea? I don’t hate you, Toohana-san.”
“Senpai, you always call me by that name, even though I told you to call me Arisu.”
“So that was it, over a name,” I thought, but she wasn’t done.
“After I got out of the hospital, I waited for you to call or visit me. My mother wouldn’t give me your number, so I couldn’t call you. I needed a friend so bad. My mother was upset that I had left the hospital. My father had left apparently because of things I had written in my diary. Mom holds that against me and how much work that meant for her running the bookstore. So, I thought I could at least help her until school started.”
Her words were coming out in a torrent, and people were looking. I shushed her, and she continued more quietly, but her words still gushed out, running together.
“I helped for a couple of days, and then she accused me of not being her daughter, saying she wanted her real daughter back. Apparently, I had never taken an interest in books and refused to help in the store. And I didn’t talk the same. I was politer but ‘hottie-totty.’ She said she was taking me to see a doctor and see if my head had healed right. I agreed rather than have another fight. Only she didn’t take me to a doctor, she took me to a temple. I didn’t want to go in, but she made me. The priest told her I was possessed. I’d had enough and run out of there. Sensei, I really needed you then, but I didn’t know how to reach you, and you didn’t seem to want to see me ever again.”
She had started to cry. I realized she was wearing makeup after all because black mascara started running down her face. People were looking again, so I gently urged her out of her seat, and we went out of the hall. This would be the first time I had missed class, but it was better than having everyone watch us or the teacher stop to find out what was going on.
“That must have been hard, Arisu-san,” I used her given name rather than possibly upsetting her further. This seemed to bring a small smile, and the tears slowly stopped. I irrelevantly wondered, “What was it with me, and weeping women today?”
We sat on the bench she had pulled me away from earlier, and she continued her story in a calmer voice. “I went to my grandmother’s, and she let me stay. I guess she and my mother don’t get along. Still, she tried to reconcile with my mother and me. My mother insisted, though I need to go through an exorcism and I refused.”
“Sensei,” it was the second time she called me that, but it didn’t seem the right time to correct her. “Is that wrong? I like who I am. What if I am possessed? I want to be who I am now. The Arisu from before the accident doesn’t seem to have been a nice person. She… I refused to help in the shop. My behavior was ignorant and disrespectful. I used to smoke; I still want a cigarette sometimes. When I met some of my old friends, I found they were all pudding blonds who wanted me to help them shoplift. I said no, and they jeered at me. My mom said that was one of the reasons she didn’t want me in the store, because when I used to go there, books and money would disappear.”
“I asked my mom if she really wanted the old me back, and she told me I was a monster, that she wanted her real daughter.” Toohana-san started crying again quietly.
I calmed her down, speaking softly, “No, it’s not wrong to be yourself. It sounds incredible that someone would call you a monster for trying to be a good person and daughter.” I realized how lucky I was. I couldn’t imagine my parents or grandparents calling me a monster. No matter what I did. They might be disappointed if I didn’t do my best or even if I misbehaved. I would think a parent would be proud if their child suddenly started behaving better.
She took a deep breath, wiped the tears away with her sleeve, and made a half-hearted joke. “At least the mascara won’t show up on these clothes.”
I found a tissue, and she blew her nose and then continued, “You’re so nice. I hope you don’t think I’m crazy or possessed. Why didn’t you call or something? What did I do? No one else seems to want me; what did I do?”
She was getting worked up again, and I needed to head her off, so I said, “I tried to call, but your mother just hung up on me and I didn’t think it would do any good to go to your house. I’m sorry.” I actually was sorry. Toohana-san seemed like a good person and didn’t deserve what she was going through. I wasn’t sure how it had become my responsibility, but it felt like it had. I suppose it is like the warning that if you save a person’s life you become responsible for them.
“Really, then you still like me?”
“Oh god,” I thought. “I’m not sure that I’m ready for that. This girl is going to be so needy!”
I temporized, “I have no reason to dislike you and certainly do not hate you.” Fortunately, she didn’t appear to hear my less than forthcoming answer as a rejection and started speaking again.
“I gathered that my family didn’t want me to talk about some things in my diary. I had some ideas about what they might be but don’t have any memory of it. Please don’t think of me as an awful person, but I was desperate. I implied I would start telling people if they didn’t meet certain demands. Don’t look at me that way! I know it was blackmail, but what was I going to do? All I asked for was a new motor-scooter, so I could get around and enough money each month to pay rent on a small apartment and eat. I’m going to university with a scholarship I have to pay back.”
I honestly don’t know what I would have done in the same situation. Fortunately, I have a supportive family and would never have to face a situation like this. Still, it didn’t sit right with me to blackmail one’s parents. Other students worked their way through school or just entered the workforce. I was reminded, once more, that Toohana-san’s ethical standards didn’t seem as high as mine.
I smiled at her, and she continued, “The yuurei were awful during all this. It’s a wonder I haven’t run into any serious youkai (妖怪) (Note 9). The more confused and desperate I got, the more they seem to gravitate toward me. One started appearing at the foot of my bed and would stare at me. I couldn’t move.” She whispered, “It looked just like me.” Her voice got louder again. “I was so scared. In the morning, there would be a puddle of water at the foot of my bed. It was messing with my head!”
She got lost in her thoughts momentarily and then continued speaking on a different but related subject. It was like she couldn’t handle thinking about what she had been talking about anymore, so she escaped into the next thing she thought of. “I don’t dare go near a cemetery because of all the hinotama (火の玉) (Note 10) that are around there.”
She broke off to explain, “I’ve been reading up on this stuff since I have to live with it.”
Then she went back to her topic, “I’m afraid some might be onibi (鬼火). The charms help some. The woman stopped visiting me after I started wearing them, and maybe they will help if I run into something serious like Teketeke (テケテケ) (Note 13) or…” She laughed before continuing, “Hanako-san (Note 13).”
Her face became serious again, and she took a deep breath. “There is one other thing I need to tell you. Please don’t hate me.”
I thought, “Was this girl going to confess to me!” I am not 100% sure how I jumped to that conclusion, but it would have been Toohana-san-like.
“I’ve been asking people about you and… following you. I know I shouldn’t, but you were friendly to me and I needed someone so badly. But I couldn’t work up the nerve to approach you. I was afraid you would tell me you never wanted to see me again. Everyone else I know thinks I’m a monster and avoids me. I thought you must think so, too.”
I sighed. I didn’t enjoy getting this personal with someone, but it seemed warranted. “Maybe if you didn’t dress so… dark, people would be more approachable, and you could make some other friends.”
I half expected her to feel insulted or offended at my comment, but a beaming smile broke out on her face. “Oh, then you are my friend! I don’t need OTHER friends if you’re my friend.”
It seems I had let myself in for it inadvertently. My kouhai had reattached herself to me.
Toohana-san rushed on, her voice brightening, “But if you want me to dress differently, I will. It just seemed so me. After all, I’m ‘The Girl Who Sees Ghosts.’”
“No, Toohana-san, dress the way you want. I just thought it might help you fit in better. You look very nice dressed that way, but it’s definitely not like the other students.”
“How in the world did I get started giving someone advice? This isn’t like me,” I thought.
“You like how I look! Then, I will continue dressing this way. If you like it and I like it, that is all that matters.”
That is how I became friends with ‘Arisu, the Girl Who Sees Ghosts’ and ended my normal life.
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Story by Nara Moore
Twitter/X:@nara_moore
Mastodon: sakurajima.moe
WordPress: Josei Yuri and Paranormal Romance
Art by Mai-sensei
Twitter: @Maiisheree
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Notes:
1. Arisu didn’t seem to be much of a poet; her poems were from the music she listened to.
2. Song: They Wait for Us
Artist: Aurosonic & Denis Karpinskiy & Kate Louise Smith
Album: They Wait For Us
Released on 2016-05-02
Copyright © 2021 by Raz Nitzan Music (RNM)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWEorDdmQrk
3. Modeled after Bloom into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka, Vol. 3, pg. 137 (Kindle).
4. Bloom into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka, Vol. 3, pg. 139 (Kindle).
5. Bloom into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka, Vol. 3, pg. 139 (Kindle).
6. These are characters from: “Citrus;” “Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl” / あの娘にキスと白百合を; “Whispered Words”/Sasameki Koto/ささめきこと: “Sweet Blue Flowers”/Aoi Hana/青い花; “I’m in Love with the Villainess”/私の推しは悪役令嬢; “Otherside Picnic”/裏世界ピクニック; “The Order is a Rabbit?”/GochiUsa/ご注文はうさぎですか?; and “K-ON!”/けいおん!.
7. Song: Tears from the Moon (Carmen Rizzo Stateside West Chill Out Mix)
Artist: By Conjure One, Rhys Fulber, Sinéad O’Connor
Album: Tears from the Moon / Center of the Sun (Remixes)
Released on: 2004-03-04
℗ 2002 Nettwerk Productions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY56-P1vCvM
8. From Bloom into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka, Vol. 2, by Hitoma Iruma, Translation by Jan Cash & Vincent Cataneda, 2020, on pg. 195-196.
9. Youkai (妖怪) are a class of supernatural monsters and spirits in Japanese folklore, including ghosts, phantoms, strange apparitions, demons, goblins, etc.
10. Hi no tama (火の玉) means a fireball youkai.
11. Onibi (鬼火) are youkai that appear as balls of energy. They arise from dead bodies. They’re similar to the Will-o’-the-wisp and are very dangerous.
12. Teketeke (テケテケ) was a schoolgirl cut in half by a train. She is an onryo, a vengeful spirit, that uses a scythe to cut people in half. Having no legs, she moves using her elbows like feet, making the sound of Teke Teke. Information on Teketeke is from:
Japanese Urban Legends: The Truth behind Teketeke
by Tara A. Devlin, published Feb 19, 2021
from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xio2t79HC1k
13: Hanako-san is a yuurei that is supposed to appear in school bathrooms. She is one of the most well-known yuurei in Japan. Information on Hanako-san is from:
Toshiden: Exploring Japanese Urban Legends—Hanako-san of the toilet
By Tara A. Devlin, published Nov 16, 2018
at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIMSv4uKhv8&t=1s