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“Hey, [Y/N]! Have you seen that moron, Lev? He was supposed to practice receives with me but didn’t show up to the gym!”
You were currently making your final walkthrough of the gyms, rallying the Nekoma boys together to remind them that it was getting late and that they should start finishing up practice. You’d already found Inuoka, Fukunaga, and Yaku in Gym 2 with some of the Shinzen guys. Yamamoto, Kai, and Kenma were in Gym 1 with Karasuno’s second and third years, and they were already cleaning up when you got there. Apparently Karasuno’s captain, Daichi, was a lot more responsible than Nekoma’s own esteemed captain.
“Hm? Oh! He was in Gym 3 with Kuroo and Bokuto last I saw.” - When you see the irritated expression on Yaku’s face, you bristle slightly and wave your hands in front of you nervously. - “I’m sorry! If I’d known he was supposed to be with you, I would have-”
The shorter boy sighs and puts a hand up to stop your apologies;
“It’s fine, you said Gym 3?” - When you nod, he nods in return before going to grab Inuoka and Fukunaga’s attention, - “Next time Lev tells you guys someone gave him an okay to leave, don’t believe him!”
You don’t stay long enough to catch their conversation; you were a girl on a mission after all. If you didn’t remind these jerks how late it is, they’d run themselves ragged. That was essentially your job as their manager, after all.
So you leave Gym 2 with a wave and head over to Gym 3, ready to grill the two knuckleheaded team captains about how much of a bad example they were setting by staying up so late to practice. You already know how it’s going to go down, this isn’t your first time dealing with Kuroo and Bokuto’s silliness.
What will likely happen is that you’ll head in, put a hand on your hip and give Kuroo your meanest glare (which wasn’t all that menacing anyways, but it usually throws him off his game enough to convince him to pack it up and finish practice.) Bokuto will likely try to whine and convince you and Kuroo to let him do “just a few more spikes!” Until Akaashi gives him a look, which will likely deflate Bokuto’s hair and ego enough to make him easier to convince; convincing an emo Bokuto to pack it up is easy, it’s just picking him back up after was hard. That is, until you promise to buy him juice from the vending machine while Kuroo makes fun of him. Then everything goes smoothly after that. Being a part of the Fukurodani Academy Group with the other schools means plenty of experience with this sort of thing, so you’ve definitely got this covered.
You just weren’t ready for that tall and lanky first year from Karasuno, Tsukishima, to ruin everything.
With a fresh case of butterflies in your gut, you had a bit of pep in your step as you made your way to the gym. How could you not be excited? You were going to get to joke around with Kuroo like usual, which will likely only make you fall that much more in love with the bed-headed nerd.
Oh yeah, you’ve had the hots for him ever since he tutored you the year before. Some poor grades in biology here, leading your teacher to set you up with Kuroo initially, and then a lot of bonding over the fact that both of you had horrid senses of humor (with matching obnoxious laughs to boot,) which then eventually led to you being brought on as Nekoma’s manager at the end of your second year.
At first, it was just a simple crush. One of those little irrational infatuations that you thought you’d get over eventually. Somehow, you never did, despite your self-esteem making it a point to repeatedly remind you of how little chance there was that your feelings were reciprocated. Truly, you had no idea where those hopes came from. You were the biggest girl in school, a human magnet for bullies and pranks alike, and you’ve never known anything differently. No one had ever confessed their feelings to you, and the times where you’d at least attempted to confess yourself all ended with you laughing it off as if it were a joke. That’s all you were to everyone else- the funny fat girl. Nobody truly disliked you, but you were so easy to laugh at, so you figured the best thing to do was simply laugh with them.
But your innocent little crushes had never gone this far. Maybe it was the teasing from your teammates, which were never mean, that helped these feelings of yours to solidify. How many times have the boys teased you or Kuroo over being the “mom and dad” of the team? And how many times did Kuroo rebuke or show distaste to said jokes? The answers are “too many to count” and “never.”
Remember that assumption of yours, in regards to how you thought your night was going to go in terms of getting your boys in order? Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. As far as you were concerned, that kid Tsukishima wasn’t even a variable that you thought you’d have to worry about. You were only thinking as far ahead as convincing your guys to settle down! How were you supposed to know you were about to get your heart broken cause some snarky guy with glasses didn’t know how to keep his stupid mouth shut?
The telltale sound of sneakers squeaking against wood flooring met your ears first, followed by the loud SMACK of a volleyball being spiked into the floor.
“Yeah, baby! And that’s how you do it, Akaashi!”
“I know, I watched you do it, Bokuto.”
“Woah, that was so awesome! I wish I could hit that hard!”
You peek into the gym to find Akaashi, Bokuto, Hinata and Tsukishima from Karasuno, along with Kuroo, on either side of the net. When you see the scoreboard being used at the edge of the court, you’re quick to figure out that they’d all been having a 3-on-3 match; and considering the current score, the guys will need a little more motivation to pack it up instead of continuing playing.
“Boys.” - Stepping into the gym and onto the wooden floor, all eyes immediately draw to you. Bokuto and Kuroo both wear identical smirks, like kids who were caught trying to peek at their christmas presents early, whereas Akaashi gives you a sympathetic look. - “It’s getting late and the cafeteria is gonna close soon. Pack it up or else you don’t get dinner.”
Bokuto and Hinata gasp loudly before they start running, whereas Lev is quick to give you a mock-salute. The tall Nekoma first year has endured your ire plenty of times for recklessly practicing too much, and he’d rather you not chew him out in front of everyone else.
“Yes, mom- I mean, ma’am!”
Rolling your eyes, you put your hands on your hips and give Kuroo your best glare- as if you were silently asking him “you see this shit?” Chuckling, he shrugs it off and moves over to take down the net;
“Now, now, Lev. You leave my wife alone and go collect all the balls.” - An inside joke among the team was that you were the neko-mom, which left Kuroo typically referred to as the dad of the group; even though you all knew that Kai was the most responsible one on the team. - “Akaashi, mind helping me with the net? Four eyes, you get the other broom and help the shrimp.”
And just like that, they all start cleaning up in tandem- the threat of going without dinner was just too risky. You stand off to the side of the court near the doors and watch for a few minutes more, intending to wait for them to finish so you could all get dinner together.
But then a few short moments later, a broom is nearly smacking your foot. And the broom’s holder was the tall first year from Karasuno, Tsukishima. He looks bored; not in the sense of just not being interested in cleaning, but rather as though he simply doesn’t want to be here. But when his broom knocks into the side of your sneaker, he rolls his eyes.
“I know it’s a little hard for you to not be in my way, but can you move, fatty?”
His insult catches you by surprise, leading you to stammer out a quick “sorry” before ducking out of his way and into the threshold that leads to the outside. The crisp nighttime air tickles the back of your neck, but your hair already stood on end. Throughout the entire trip thus far, not a single person from any of the other schools made any crude remarks- the only ones you’d heard were from your own (and even then they were all genuinely funny jokes that had you crack up.) Nekoma was family, meaning you and your boys had an understanding of what constituted a joke or not.
And that wasn’t a joke, clearly. With the way Tsukishima’s eyes quickly look you up and down with a little scoff, there was no mistaking his insult as a joke. He was just being mean.
Uncomfortable, you look over just in time to make eye contact with Kuroo. He raises a brow in confusion, proving that he didn’t hear the insult (-he would have defended you if he had,) but you give him a small wave and a bow of your head;
“Hey, I’m gonna head off. See you back inside?” He nods and goes back to sorting out the net with Akaashi, who also gives you a nod of acknowledgement, before you duck out of the building entirely. Stepping off to the side, you take a moment to let out a deep breath to try and get your nerves back in check. You weren’t a stranger to snide little comments here and there, or backhand compliments, but it’s not everyday someone has the gall to actually insult you to your face. Sure, it wasn’t the most hurtful thing to say- you’ve heard plenty worse. But you were looking forward to spending time with Kuroo at dinner;
Nothing like being told you’re fat to make you lose your appetite.
“Hey, Kuroo! I didn’t know you and [Y/N] were dating, congrats!” Bokuto’s loud voice spills out of the gym doorway, which is only a few feet away. You went off to the side when you left, meaning they couldn’t see you in the doorway even if they tried.
It was your turn to scoff, knowing that Kuroo would likely answer with a-
“ Hah!? We’re not dating!”
-yep. It’s not the first time someone assumed you to be dating, but you’ve long numbed yourself to that. It’s not as if it were a lie, since you definitely weren’t. Just a little disappointing to hear him confirm it is all. One of these days, you’re hoping he’ll at least say yes- even as a joke, it would still give you butterflies regardless.
“So why’d you call her your wife?” - Tsukishima’s monotone meets your ears, making you frown and roll your eyes. Was it any of his business? Or did the thought just offend him- he seems like the kind of guy who’d be offended by just about anything; - “You like her or something?”
The disgust is evident as he emphasizes on the word “like,” as if the idea of someone liking you were unfathomable. But, you couldn’t help the way your heart clenches in anticipation. Kuroo was unapologetically honest, so the likelihood of him not answering Tsukishima’s question was slim. This was your chance to find out if he felt the same! You could finally plan out your confession and actually commit to it this time!
“What? Oh, that. It’s an inside joke- she's the manager, I’m the captain, and we’re surrounded by a bunch of idiots. Sometimes the guys will call her mom to tick her off, which then leads to me being called dad. Doesn’t happen as often as you think, but it’s funny.”
You let out the breath you’d been holding as your shoulders slump forward, disappointed. Of course, why would he answer? It’s not like he owed Tsukishima an answer-
“Hm. So you don’t like her?” Your chest tightens at the sound of Tsukishima’s prompt for clarification;
Tsukishima I could both kiss you or smack you- actually, no, I’d just smack you!
“Of course I like her!” - You gasp and practically feel your soul leave your body in excitement. - “She’s funny and nice, who wouldn’t like her?”
“... I think he’s asking if you have a crush on her, Kuroo.” Akaashi, somehow more monotone but his tone has an inkling of something else tacked on, has to reignite the worry in your gut. Clarification is good and all, but your little heart can only handle so much!
“ Ooooooooh. No. She’s not my type.” - Your heart breaks clean in two, the despair only worsened by the level of excitement you’d just felt moments before. - “Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing girl, but… I don’t know, I just see her more as a really good friend, y’know?”
Your throat is so tight that you can’t even sob, much less run off. You were frozen, thoughts running a mile a minute, as you struggled to process it all. Kuroo… didn’t feel the same. You were so sure! He was just so nice to you and- and he treated you with such respect that- that you managed to get your hopes up.
The rough squeak of the volleyball container’s wheels brings you back to the present, reminding you that they were none the wiser of your presence outside. God, how could you face Kuroo now? You’ll probably cry on the spot. Then you hear Tsukishima snicker, which only makes you grit your teeth; the jerk was probably so satisfied with himself, knowing that his assumptions were right.
“I don’t know why you’re beating around the bush.” - Tsukishima again, putting the nail in the coffin. - “If she’s so amazing, why don’t you like her? Oh yeah, because she’s ugly.”
Your legs, no longer feeling like lead, finally decide to be useful. With a choked sob, you run off just in time to hear Kuroo and Bokuto start to yell at Tsukishima for being rude- not that it matters, Tsukishima was right after all. If you were a little easier on the eyes, or a few pounds lighter, maybe with a couple inches or so off your waist… Maybe, just maybe, someone would see you as more than just funny or nice.
Forget waiting, forget dinner, forget anyone else- you just need to be somewhere that wasn’t there.
With a quick text to Yaku, you tell him you’re going for a walk to have some time to yourself and that you’ll see him when you make your rounds before bed. You had no clue how long you’d need to yourself after- after that, but you figure that an hour is plenty enough time. At first, you went and sat in the field near the farthest gyms on the hill that losing teams used as consequence. You laid in the grass, staring up at the sky as you ignored the buzzing in your jacket pocket, contemplating your life’s choices that led you to where you were today. Like how could you let yourself go as much as you did? Why didn’t you care more about your wellbeing or exercise more? Stupid, irrational questions that honestly shouldn’t be asked.
You were more than your looks and you knew that, but it didn’t matter then. You were heartbroken, you have the right to be irrational and upset.
When your stomach rumbles again, objecting to your lack of dinner, you drag yourself back toward the gyms to help yourself to the vending machines. Shinzen’s athletic department was thankfully well-funded, unlike Nekoma’s (where your teams have to win tournaments and games to gain more funding,) and had a few vending machines with food and drink of the more healthy variety. You buy an energy bar (chocolate flavor, because sad girls deserve chocolate) and lean against the wall brick wall, where you end up letting yourself crouch down to try and make yourself as small as possible.
After eating the energy bar, you let yourself have one last good cry to hopefully get it out of your system, when you suddenly hear a flurry of steps on the pavement coming toward you.
“[Y/N]! What’re you doing out here this late? Oh ho, getting a midnight snack? Me too!”
And when you look up, with glossy eyes and flushed cheeks, you find your personal space suddenly being intruded upon by an over enthusiastic Fukurodani captain. The vending machine you were huddled next to was the only light source you had, other than the moonlight overhead, and the bright fluorescent light only accentuated the way his smile dropped when he got a good look at you.
“Bokuto? Oh- I, uhm, yeah. I was thirsty and, uhm-” Your stuttering only makes him frown further, making him look practically alien to you. Bokuto? Frowning? You’d think he didn’t know how to.
He turns to the vending machine and presses a couple of buttons, which is followed by the sound of a canned drink dropping down into the collection bin. Without him looking at you, you’re given the chance to reach up and wipe away your tears. How could you possibly face him, one of Kuroo’s best friends, like this? It’s humiliating, and you’re very self-aware of how puffy your face has become, but how do you excuse yourself without looking like an even bigger embarrassment than you already felt?
You can’t, not really. All you can do is suck it up, slip away, and hope that Bokuto doesn’t tell Kuroo or any of your other teammates that he’d found you crying next to the vending machines.
They’d probably joke around and say I was crying because the machine wasn’t working- turn it into a huge fat joke, no pun intended.
Just the thought itself made you feel that much more pathetic, but it somehow simultaneously gave you the courage to bow your head and take a step back.
“I’m sorry, it’s getting late and I should head back inside.”
You make it two steps before Bokuto’s voice rings out behind you;
“It’s such a beautiful night, why don’t you stay out here with me for a while?” - Turning, you look at him from over your shoulder. He has two canned drinks in his hand, one of his brows raised comically high, and a smile that would put the sun to shame. - “I was going to ask you to hang out earlier, but better late than never, right?”
You sniffle once more and nod before making your way back to his side, a sliver of hope crawling it’s way back into your heart. Not because of the fact that he wants to spend time with you, but that he’s showing you genuine kindness when he could have simply ignored whatever girlish nonsense you were crying about. But when he hands you the cold can of juice, which was possibly your least favorite flavor that the machine offered, his fingers brush against yours and linger for a moment longer than necessary. You’re not sure if it was the brightly colored lights from the vending machine, or simply your eyes playing tricks on you, but you’re pretty sure there’s just the lightest dusting of pink across Bokuto’s cheeks. And when you give him the smallest smile back, his own gets that much brighter.
All because you weren’t Kuroo’s type, didn’t mean you weren’t somebody else’s.