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There was a picture in Magnus's loft. One he held and then put away immediately, with abrupt movements and determined flick of his magic.
He would last weeks, even months without looking at it again. But every once in a while he caved, summoning it back from his possessions to have a brief glance, usually regretting having his willpower betray him.
Maybe if he could just brush it off, the same way he did with things of his past, he would no longer be captive to its complexity, no longer struck by the impossibility the moment portrayed there. Treating it the same way he treated memories from centuries ago might be his only hope.
He knew he should send it as far as possible, locking it securely in the deepest depths of his heart, and move on like he never knew of it. It was the safest bet, even though the picture had nothing to do with his past, and everything to do with his future.
Looking at the atmosphere it painted was nothing short of overwhelming.
The tight clutches of autumn were shown so freely through the photo, outlined in a cozy and suitable nuances, almost as if depicted in that perfect moment where making a vivid impression was a purpose intended.
The ground was covered in a bedding made of colorful leaves, like a soft carpet in a whole range of dyes, from earthy green to fiery red. Some of the leaves were still without a residence, outcasted from the trees, in the mercy of every gust of wind which changed their destination, swaying them in a dance they had no control of.
Magnus could relate, even though the version of himself he stared at, was rooted in the center of the picture, anchored by something he wouldn't have bargained for.
His future self was wearing a long coat in warm pastel tones, with a scarf suited to match his true eyes, just as every other detail around him did. Every variety of earthy colors, every feature mixed in the sincerity of the picture and contributing to it, seemed blended to compliment the quiet gold of his warlock mark.
The shadowhunter he had embraced in his arms though, might just be a separate entity of his own.
He held Magnus's gaze, as if he had a right to witness him in this state of comfort. As if Magnus's true self was no longer private, no longer buried underneath layers of carefully crafted act and posture.
And Magnus knew who the shadowhunter was.
In fact, he would be living under a rock if he couldn't recognise the Head of the New York Institute.
Alec Lightwood was uncompromising, salty, follower of the rules every freshly starting week, and a defiant man by Saturday and Sunday. Then, he would do unforeseen acts of humility and kindness, like offering Magnus his shadowhunter strength to save another downworlder, or protecting Magnus from Circle members and staying to make sure his magic was in full power again.
Alec was known, familiar presence for Magnus. They would come across each other during gatherings between nephilims and downworlders, or when Magnus was occasionally called to check on the Institute wards he had perfected.
He was a Lightwood who was nowhere near as cruel as his parents, and as Magnus had grown to suspect- a man who was often torn between the call of his heart and his head.
But he was nowhere as dear to Magnus as the picture illustrated. There, Alec had waved his fingers in Magnus's hair, melting in his embrace. His expression when looking back at Magnus was one of openly given trust and intimacy, the portrayal of which had been wrapped around Magnus's heart since the first time he saw it. Since the time he received this questionable gift.
Back in the Seelie realm a few months ago, Magnus had visited to bring the Queen a bowl of water from Lake Lyn, something she had negotiated with the shadowhunters in exchange for her assistance against Valentine. Magnus had simply completed the transaction and settled the matter between the two parties, helping to ease the communication she had with the New York Institute.
But the Queen still asked to reward him afterwards, gaining insight after drinking of the bowl, and offering Magnus a gift of his future.
Given all he knew, Magnus should have refused. He should have never let himself be tempted by the offer. Because now he held in his hands a piece of his life to come, with no hint of the journey which brought him there.
Alec would probably be in an arranged union with a fellow shadowhunter soon, so Magnus had no clue how could Alec be the man to look at him with love in the picture.
Was Magnus even ready to know? Was it even going to truly happen, or maybe Magnus being aware of it destroyed the strictly constructed thread of events, effectively changing the course of his future.
Would he choose to be a part of this forthcoming life? Growing so attached, trusting so much... It was terrifying and every part of him was telling him to prevent it.
Perhaps he could. Perhaps that was the true gift the Seelie Queen wanted him to have- a choice. An opportunity to set his life in the direction he needed. He could avoid Alec Lightwood at all cost. He could cut all ties with the Institute and destroy the photo he was holding so tightly, getting rid of it like it was a piece of evidence which shouldn't be found. He could be free from it before anyone uses it to harm him.
That was probably the clever thing to do. But then why was it so difficult for Magnus to follow through?
He grew restless with time, trying to cast a spell on the picture, so that the image would change when his future changes. It was a deep dive into unfamiliar magic and unknown consequences, making Magnus second-guess himself every step of the way. Finally, there was only one thing left to do.
He would show Alec the picture.
Alec would be terrified, and the remaining slim chance of it coming true would become non-existent.
So Magnus prepared himself, entering the Institute and asking to speak to the shadowhunter in charge. With every step he made, he tried to convince himself he was preventing those events from happening, regaining control of his life.
He persuaded his heart that he wasn't expecting anything other than shock and disbelief from Alec, that he wasn't trying to achieve a different result by testing the shadowhunter.
There weren't many routes this could take. And Magnus shouldn't imagine something too surprising. At least Alec would worry about it alongside him. Because it wasn't fair for Magnus to be the only one affected by it. No, Alec should fret about it too. Keeping him company.