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(Name) hummed at the boy across from them, the way he wrinkled his nose at the smell of bleach that permeated the apartment.
“You wanted me to clean up after, don’t be upset when I actually do it.”
Chocolate eyes flickered over to them, situated on the couch, remote in hand, and the boy huffed. He shut the door behind him as he entered the apartment fully, past the kitchen and into the living room. Standing in front of the TV, and looking down at (Name), who smiled back up at him.
“Dying from bleach inhalation isn’t painless y’know, and I-“
“- hate pain. Mhm, it’s not enough bleach to kill anyone Dazai, unless you’ve suddenly developed asthma.”
Dazai lays his hand on his chest, wearing a faux offended expression, uncovered eye shining with mischief.
“What if I have? You’d just sit there and watch me die!”
(Name) rolls their eyes, reaching for his hand and pulling him down onto the couch as well. He grins as he lands on the couch cushions, bouncing slightly and using (Name)’s grip on him to pull them closer. (Name) smiles, laying down, head on his lap, Dazai tilting his head back across the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling.
“I’d never just sit there and watch you die.”
Dazai slowly glances back down at (Name). There’s something in his expression that they can’t quite place. He clicks his tongue, “I know, but maybe you would die with me instead. Double suicide is the pinnacle of romance, after all.”
“Sure,” (Name) hums, “sometime far, far in the future, we’ll see what happens.”
Dazai pouts, but (Name) is already twisting around on his lap, laying on their stomach and reaching for something on the table next to the couch.
“You wanna see it? The thing that will definitely lead to your death via bleach, I mean.” Sarcasm seeps through their tone. They grab onto the little white objects on the table, then flip around again so Dazai can see.
In (Name)’s hands lay claws, small claws, the bones thoroughly cleaned and stark white against the skin of their palms. Dazai peers down at them, nudging the claws with his bandaged fingers, examining them.
“I found a raccoon! Well, half of a raccoon, and I think something else got to it first, but I could salvage one of the back legs.” (Name) tilts their hand slightly, looking at the bones adoringly. “The rest is in my collection already, but aren’t they pretty?” (Name) glances up at Dazai through their lashes, smiling bashfully at him.
“Of course, they’re delicate, must have been difficult to bleach them without breaking them.”
(Name) shakes their head, reaching back to lay the claws on the table again. “You’re not supposed to bleach bones, it damages them, and leads to yellowing. Hydrogen peroxide actually works way better. Which, actually, reminds me that we need more hydrogen peroxide.” (Name) begins to ramble, not noticing the way Dazai chuckles softly and starts to run his fingers through their hair. “I used like… all of it. Anyways, the bleach was for cleanup after. I had to get the muscles and meat and fur off the bones. Which are called phalanges, by the way, the bones. I won’t be able to paint these ones, they’re too small. I actually thought you would be home later so-“
They’re cut off by Dazai leaning down to capture their lips in a kiss. (Name) lets out a small muffled noise. When Dazai pulls back they sit up, using their elbow as support. “Rude.”
Dazai smirks, “I wasn’t supposed to be home this early, Mori just let me off easy today I guess.”
(Name) is frowning as they press up against him, tucking their knees closer to their chest.
“If he wanted to let you off easy, he would just let you leave.”
“What would I do with my time if I didn’t work for the Port Mafia? I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate the hobbies I find.”
(Name) groans, “you’d probably be finding new and innovative ways to drown yourself.”
Dazai places a kiss on the side of their temple, “Exactly! Though I do wish he’d stop sending me on so many missions, it’s annoying.”
(Name) doesn’t respond for a bit, standing up off the couch and brushing off dust that doesn’t exist. They reach out a hand towards Dazai, and pull him up when he places his hand on theirs.
“C’mon then, you’ve got a bit of free time, we might as well make the most of it.” They grin at him and he blinks back. When they don’t get a smile in return, (Name) tilts their head, peering at him inquisitively.
For once, Dazai is startlingly serious, “You turn death into something so beautiful. You’ll do the same for me, won’t you? When I finally succeed in my life’s mission, of course.” The executive brings (Name)’s hand up and kisses the back of it lightly.
(Name) brings the same hand up, and brushes his hair away from his free eye.
“Of course love, someone has to make sure you’re remembered, everyone deserves that. But I don’t plan to have to do that any time soon.”
Dazai brought them close for another kiss, to hide the way his eyes gleamed and his lips twisted into a pained smile.