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“Finally!” Flynn exclaimed the moment she walked through the door. “We have this place all to ourselves Jules!”
Julie rolled her eyes fondly at her best friend. After saving up for a while, the two of them were finally able to get an apartment. They’ve been planning on living together since they were nine and now, it’s finally happening. Little Julie would be losing her mind right now. The current Julie is also losing her mind right now. Deciding to move away from home was hard, even if she wasn’t moving that far. She was only ten minutes away from her childhood home. Still, it was a huge change and Julie wasn’t exactly sure how to take it. On one hand, she was excited. This apartment was opening a new chapter in her life. It was showing how she was growing up. However, that thought of growing up was what scared her. She’s heard horror stories of how awful being an adult was. College, working, taxes all sounded like hell and Julie was almost certain she wasn’t ready for it.
But then she looked over at Flynn, who was smiling at her from the middle of the living room.
Flynn was here with her. The two of them would figure it out, they always did. Sure, it was going to be hard but at least she wasn’t doing this alone. Without Flynn, Julie was pretty sure she wouldn’t be doing this at all.
“So, what should we do to celebrate? Throw a party?”
Julie gave her friend a disapproving look. “And get thrown out of the place we just got? Yeah, I’m good.”
Flynn frowned. “Boo, you’re no fun.” She grumbled as she sat down on the couch.
Julie was so glad their families and friends helped them move in. It was a lot of work (and a lot of complaining coming from Luke specifically) and the two were surprised when they didn’t ask for any money in return. They just wanted to help out and it truly sunk in how lucky Julie was to have these people in her life.
“I’m plenty fun. I just don’t like getting kicked out of places.” Julie reasoned.
“Exactly! No fun. I should’ve moved in with Willie.”
Julie crossed her arms. “And have to deal with Alex?”
Flynn licked her lips. “God, that’s worse. Fine, I’ll stay here.”
“That’s what I thought.” Julie moved to the couch and sat down next to Flynn. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and pulled up Spotify. “Even though we can’t have a party, I will allow music. And, you get first pick.”
Flynn instantly grew excited. She started grabbing towards the phone, which caused Julie to giggle. Flynn could be such a child sometimes. Still, Julie gave Flynn her phone without complaint. After a minute passes, a familiar song can be heard through the speakers of the phone.
“Really?” Julie asked, feigning annoyance.
“Hey, Beyonce, don't play. Plus, look at us! All on our own, we’re basically running the world.” Flynn flicked her hair back, showing that she was standing her ground. Julie had to admit, Flynn had the best music taste out of all her friends. Luke was a close second but no one could compare to Flynn. The girl had a playlist for pretty much everything. Shower playlist, car playlist, getting ready in the morning playlist. You name it, she probably had a playlist for it.
As the two of them switched between who picked each song, Julie really got a chance to reflect on everything. It felt like just yesterday she walked through the doors of Loz Feliz for her first day of highschool and now, she’s graduated and living on her own. So much has happened since then. She lost her mom, she met the guys and started a band, they even played the Orpheum! So much has happened in what felt like so little time. Sure four years have passed, but it doesn’t even feel like it. And who knows what’s gonna happen next? A record deal? An album? Going on tour? Anything was possible and Julie was ready for it.
What she was not ready for was Flynn stopping a song halfway through.
“Hey, why’d you kill the music? It was getting to the best part.” Julie wasn’t really mad about Flynn killing the music. It must be serious if Flynn stopped mid-song. That theory was confirmed when Julie saw the look on Flynn’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just…” Flynn looked down at her lap and started to play with her bracelet. Julie had deemed the specific bracelet the “worry bracelet.” Flynn only messed with it when she was worried about something. “Are you sure you’re cool with living with me, you know, since I’m a lesbain and all.”
Julie furrowed her eyebrows. “Why wouldn't I be?”
“Some people would be all weirded out. I just wanted to make sure that you’d be ok with it.”
Julie grabbed Flynn’s hands and gave them a light squeeze. “ Of course I am. You’re my best friend and I’m so happy that we get to live together.”
“Ok, just making sure.”
Julie didn’t reply. Instead, she pulled Flynn into a tight hug. Her heart started to flutter and she felt warm. That’s how it always felt when she hugged Flynn. She could hug Flynn forever.
----
Living together was better than Julie could’ve ever imagined. It was basically a sleepover that never ended. Of course, there were bumps in the road but it was nothing that they couldn’t handle.
Julie was just about to go to the kitchen to make lunch. She didn’t really have plans so she was thinking she was just going to lounge around for the day. Maybe, she’ll start working on that English homework she said she was gonna start last night. Knowing her, that’s probably what she was going to end up doing. She had to get it done eventually.
When she made it into the hallway and was just about to hit the kitchen, she heard noise come from the bathroom. It was a song that Julie didn’t recognize along with some clattering. The door was open so Julie peered inside.
Unsurprisingly, it was Flynn.
She was standing in front of the mirror. A makeup pallet was laid on the counter in front of her and she had a brush in her hand. She was wearing a flowy dress and had a flower in her hair.
“Where’s the party?” Julie teased.
At the sound of Julie’s voice, Flynn jumped. The moment she realized it was Julie, she calmed down. “There’s no party. Your girl has a date.”
The word date felt like a stab to Julie’s heart. Julie wasn’t sure why, but she brushed it off.
“You’re going on a date? With who?”
“One of my coworkers' friends. He introduced me to her and we hit it off. We’re going out for lunch.”
“Oh...nice.” Julie rocked on the balls of her feet awkwardly. She watched as Flynn continued to get ready. Flynn was going on a date? Flynn’s never been on a date before. She never even talked about being interested in anybody, well, not counting celebrities. She’s talked countless times about how she’d pay to marry Selena Gomez. Not that Julie blamed her, she was gorgeous. But this was the first time Flynn’s showed interest in someone and it felt weird.
“So, what are you doing today?” Flynn asked as she put down her eyeliner pencil.
“Oh, I’m just...hanging around.”
Flynn smiled. “Well, when I get back, I’ll make sure to tell you all about my date.” Flynn picked up her phone and walked out of the bathroom. “Oh, I’ll clean that up when I get back!”
Julie didn’t look at Flynn. She just kept her eyes on the spot where Flynn was just standing. “Yeah....ok. I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye! I love you!” And just like that, Flynn was gone. It took a few seconds for Julie to take her eyes off the spot in the bathroom. After she did, she took a deep breath and went back to her room.
She wasn’t hungry anymore.
-----
Flynn kept her promise and told Julie all about her date. She said that it was fine. The girl, who’s name was Brooke, was nice but she wasn’t planning on seeing her again. Julie felt this weird sense of joy when Flynn said she wasn’t going out with Brooke anymore.
And that made her feel awful.
Flynn was Julie’s best friend and she was sitting there happy that her date didn’t go as well as she hoped. What kind of best friend was she?
She didn’t think that much into it. This weirdness was all going to blow over soon and everything will go back to normal. Julie’s just...adjusting to Flynn dating. Yeah, that had to be it.
For a few weeks, Flynn mentioned nothing else about dating and everything was completely fine. The two of them spent a lot of time together and Julie was over the moon. The two of them even worked on some songs to show to the band. Usually, writing songs was a Julie and Luke thing but who says that Flynn couldn’t help out every once in a while. She was incredibly talented and she should be able to show it off. Maybe one day, Flynn could even perform with them! She not only was a pretty good song writer but was an amazing singer and rapper. Julie was sure she could convince the guys to let her sing with them sometime. The guys loved her. Who doesn’t love Flynn?
It was a Saturday morning and Julie was getting ready to hang out with Flynn. The two of them were going to the mall to shop around for some future gig clothes. Julie told Flynn that her wardrobe was completely fine but Flynn insisted that no one could ever have too many clothes. Says the girl with clothes literally pouring out of her closet and dresser because she didn’t have enough room for them. Still, Julie didn’t argue too much. She had the chance to hang out with Flynn and she definitely wasn’t going to turn it down.
She was just about to throw on her socks when Flynn walked past her door. “Hey, are you almost ready?”
Flynn stopped in her tracks and faced Julie. She looked ready, but she also looked super confused. “Ready for what?”
“The mall? Remember? You said that we needed to get me some new gig clothes.” Julie reminded her.
Flynn’s face immediately fell. “That’s today?”
Julie frowned. “Yeah, did...did you forget?”
Flynn didn’t answer right away. She crossed her arms and started kicking at the ground. She wouldn’t even look Julie in the eyes. “Kinda.” She mumbled.
“Oh, well, I’ll wait for you to get ready.” Julie wasn’t in any kind of rush. She didn’t mind waiting for Flynn, even if she did take a pretty long time to get ready. Flynn was always like “perfection takes time Jules.” Flynn always looked perfect in Julie’s opinion but arguing with Flynn was like arguing with a brick wall sometimes.
“Yeah...about that.” Flynn chuckled, but it definitely wasn’t a happy chuckle. It sounded like she felt guilty about something. “I was wondering if I could take a raincheck on that mall trip?”
“Are you ok?” It was rare for Flynn to bail out on things and Julie was worried something was going on that Flynn had yet to key her in on.
“Oh no, I’m fine. It’s just, I was supposed to meet someone for coffee today.” Flynn still refused to look Julie in the eye. “But I can always cancel.”
“No, go out. I’ll be fine. Our next gig is in two weeks. I can wait.”
Flynn looked up. “You sure? I feel bad leaving you here.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. But, who are you meeting?” Julie asked curiously.
“Oh, just someone I found online.”
Julie raised her eyebrow. “That sounds kinda dangerous.” She pointed out.
“I mean, she seems really nice. Plus, we are going out to a coffee shop. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Flynn assured her.
Julie didn’t have much doubt that Flynn wouldn’t be fine. She was a tough girl who could pretty much handle anything. She was also smart and would know not to do anything stupid. There was still something Julie needed to ask. “Is this like a friend….or?”
“Well, if you must now, it’s kinda a date? I mean, we are kinda just getting to know each other but if things go well then…”
The word date once again made Julie feel weird. Flynn was going on another date? Not that it’s a bad thing. Flynn could go and do whatever she wanted. It didn’t mean that it felt right. Why was Flynn so interested in dating now? The idea shouldn’t make her insides turn the way that they currently were.
“Oh, well, have fun.” Julie tried to sound happy but deep down, something was off. Maybe she was just upset over the fact Flynn couldn’t hang out that day. That would be a reasonable explanation for why Julie was upset. She was really excited to hang out with Flynn and now that she couldn’t, she was upset. Most people would be upset over that, right? Yeah, they probably would be. Ok, so maybe nothing was off, she just wanted to hang out with her best friend. There will be other days. It’s all going to work out and everything was going to be fine.
Julie chose to ignore the fact that Flynn was going on a date at all was the actual problem.
----
Julie had a long day.
First, she overslept and missed her statistics class. She didn’t miss too much apparently but the professor was very passive aggressive and she knew she was going to get some sort of lecture from her the next time she sees her. Then, some jerk cut her off in the parking lot which made her spill her coffee all over the front seat in her car. Needless to say, her day didn’t have the best start.
She thought things might get better later in the day since she had band practice but Luke was in a bad mood which just made rehearsal super tense. Everyone felt like they had to walk on pins and needles so that Luke wouldn’t yell at them. There wasn’t much goofing around, which was something Julie really needed. It’s not like Luke’s attitude was completely unexpected. He always got that way when there was a gig coming up. Julie loved Luke but sometimes his drive was a little too much for her. That’s one of the reasons they didn’t end up working out. They had a deep connection but music was Luke’s true love. Julie was scared that breaking it off with Luke would ruin the band dynamic but nothing really changed. They were still “the most watchable dueters.” Flynn’s words, not hers. The only thing that changed was there was no more romance behind those stares, just admiration and respect for one another.
When Julie opened the door to the apartment, she quickly noticed that the living room light was off but the tv was on. She took her shoes off and quietly made her way to the living room. She could see Flynn’s silhouette in the darkness. The girl had yet to notice Julie had entered the apartment. “Flynn?”
Flynn looked over and Julie noticed movement directly next to her. Julie couldn’t really see who it was through the darkness. Flynn turned on the lamp that sat next to the couch and Julie could now clearly see the other person that was sitting on the couch. “Julie, hey!”
“Hey Carrie.” Julie sighed.
Julie’s relationship with Carrie was….something, to say the least.
The two of them were best friends growing up. Her dad was actually the one who got her into music. Julie, Flynn and Carrie were “The Triple Threat.” They had this huge plan that when they were older, they were gonna form a band and start writing music. That band never happened. Instead, Carrie formed her own group called “Dirty Candy” and started being a jerk. No explanation why either. One day, everything was completely fine and the next, Carrie was ignoring their texts. It would’ve been fine if Carrie just stopped talking to them but she made it her mission to belittle Julie whenever she could. But after Julie’s orpheum performance, it was like a switch went off in her head. Carrie apologized to the two of them and even though they were extremely skeptical, they decided to hear her out. It took time, but eventually they became friends again. It wasn’t the same as it had been when they were growing up, it probably wouldn't ever reach that point, but at least it was something.
“Jules, I thought you were staying at the studio late tonight.”
“Luke was in a mood.” Julie explained. She finally took in the fact that Flynn’s arm was wrapped around Carrie’s shoulder. Julie felt sick looking at the two of them. She wasn’t even sure why she was getting so upset right now. Carrie was their friend and it shouldn’t have caused any reaction but she just couldn’t help it. “What’s she doing here?”
“We were just watching a movie.” Flynn seemed confused by Julie’s slightly harsh tone. “You can join us if you want.” She offered.
Julie crossed her arms. “No thanks.”
“Jules, are you ok?” Flynn seemed like she was genuinely starting to get worried. Julie’s never really acted like this before.
Julie sighed. “I’m fine Flynn.”
“Are you sure? Because-”
“I’m fine!” Julie shouted, causing Flynn to become silent. The two girls on the couch just stared at her and Julie couldn’t blame them. This weird feeling has been going on for far too long and she doesn’t know what it is or how to stop it.
Carrie slowly stood up from the couch. “Hey, maybe I should go…”
Flynn reached for her arm. “You don’t have to.”
“It’s fine. I have rehearsal with the girls early tomorrow. I should probably get home.” Carrie started to gather her things. Flynn and Julie just watched as she awkwardly grabbed her bag from the floor next to the tv. “Text me, ok?” Carrie asked, her attention on Flynn.
“Yeah. Let me know when you get home.” Flynn gave Carrie a smile but anyone could tell it was forced. The whole atmosphere was extremely tense. If Julie thought band practice was tense, this was like twenty times worse. Julie felt like she should just go to her room but she felt like her feet were bolted to the floor. Carrie made her way towards the front door, not saying anything else. She just gave a small wave before opening the apartment door and walking out.
Julie just stood there looking at her hands. She was incredibly embarrassed about what had just happened. She could feel Flynn’s eyes on her. “What was that about?” Flynn asked angrily, breaking the silence.
Julie shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just having a bad day.”
“You must be having a bad day pretty often then.”
Julie looked up in shock. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I see the way you act everytime I say I’m going out. I thought you were cool with me being a lesbian!” Flynn exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air.
“I am!”
“Then why don’t you act like it? I sat there and watched you with Nick and said nothing. I sat there and watched you with Luke and said nothing but when it’s me going on a date with someone, it’s all the sudden a problem?”
“I…” Julie tried to say something, but nothing felt right. Nothing she could say would explain anything. If Julie couldn't explain to herself why she had a problem with Flynn dating, how could she explain it to Flynn?
“You’re speechless, huh?”
“Flynn-”
Flynn held her hand up to stop Julie from continuing. “I’ll give you time so you can think about it.” Flynn made her way towards the door. Julie didn’t even have time to say anything else. Flynn had left before she could even get another word out. Julie already felt awful for what happened with Carrie but now she felt horrible. Why couldn’t she just be happy with the fact that her best friend was dating? Julie tried to find some explanation in her head and there was only one thought that came to her head.
She quickly left her apartment and went to the one person who she thought could help her.
----
It didn’t take long for Julie to reach her destination. She rapidly knocked on the door. As she waited, she started pacing around. Everyone knew Alex as the pacer of the band but Julie did her fair share of pacing too. Speaking of Alex, that’s exactly who she was waiting for. Alex was the person Julie ranted to, well, other than Flynn. He just seemed to understand her way more than the other guys. They weren’t the best when it came to emotions and they were even worse when it came to comforting people. Alex was one of her safe spaces.
Alex opened the door and the moment she saw his face, she spilled to him the conclusion she came to.
“I think I’m homophobic!” She exclaimed.
Alex just stared at her blankly. “It’s nice to see you too Julie.”
“Can I come in please?” Julie pleaded. She just needed to talk to someone.
Alex looked back into his house before looking back at her. “I mean, yeah, but I gotta tell you, my boyfriend’s here, you sure you can handle it?” Alex asked sarcastically. He didn’t seem mad or upset like Julie had expected him to be. He sounded as if he was amused or something, which is definitely not how he should be feeling by Julie’s news.
“Alex.” Julie said firmly as a way to show Alex she wasn’t kidding around. Still, Alex’s face didn’t change. He just moved aside and let her in. When she entered the room, she immediately saw Willie who was chilling on the couch. Right when he saw her, he smiled and waved. “Hey Julie, what’s up?”
Before Julie could even respond, Alex called out to Willie. “Careful, she’s homophobic!” He closed the door and sat down on the couch next to Willie. The skater just gave Julie a questioning look. He looked back and Alex and the two of them had a silent conversation with each other. On a normal occasion, Julie would think that it was super cute but Julie was currently having a crisis and would appreciate it if they could let her in on the conversation.
After a few seconds, the two look back up at Julie. “So, you think you’re homophobic?” Willie asked. He had the same amusement on his face that Alex did. Did these two not realize how serious this was?
“Yes? Maybe? I don’t know.” Julie sighed.
“Well, do you have a problem with us?” Alex asked carefully.
Julie held up her hands. “What? Of course not. I was the one who got you two together, remember?”
“Oh yeah, she did do that.” Willie beamed.
“Right....” Alex crossed his arms. “It doesn’t seem like your homophobic.”
Julie started pacing again. “But I have a problem with Flynn going on dates with girls!” Julie stopped in her tracks. “Oh my god, I’m lesbophobic!”
Alex and Willie gave each other another look. “But you’ve never had a problem with Flynn before, right?”
Julie glared at Alex. “Of course not! I love her more than anyone in the world!”
Once again, Willie and Alex looked at each other. Julie was starting to get annoyed. She loved them but she desperately needed help right now.
Suddenly, Willie perked up. “Hey Julie, you remember my sister Cassie, right?”
Julie furrowed her eyebrows. “Yeah, of course I do. Why?”
“Remember Izzy?” He asked to which Julie nodded. “Well, Cassie and Izzy are dating now. You wanna see some pictures of them?” Willie had a huge smile on his face. Julie knew that Willie and his sister had always been super close. Their bond reminded Julie of her bond with Carlos. Julie also remembered how Cassie went from hating Izzy to having a crush on her in the matter of weeks.
A huge smile appeared on Julie’s face. She forgot all about her problems for a little bit. Her focus was on Cassie and Cassie’s new girlfriend. “Of course I do!”
Willie pulled out his phone and pulled up Cassie’s instagram. He scrolled for a few seconds before turning the phone so that Julie could see it. It was a picture of the two of them in front of Aurora's castle at Disneyland. There were a total of three pictures in the post that Willie had shown her. One picture was the two of them just posing together. The second one was of Cassie on Izzy’s back. The third one was of them kissing. They looked incredibly happy in all of the pictures and it made Julie smile even more. “They are the cutest.” Julie looked up and Alex and Willie. “No offense guys. I wish I had something like this.” Julie commented before handing the phone back to Willie.
“I take some offense to that.” Alex grumbled. Willie put his arm around Alex and kissed his forehead, which made Alex smile.
“So, you’re completely fine with Cassie and Izzy?” Willie questioned.
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Willie smiled. “Well, it doesn’t seem like you are lesbophobic either.”
Julie couldn’t believe that the Flynn problem had slipped her mind almost completely. She wasn’t any closer to getting an explanation of why she was feeling this way. “But I get all weird with Flynn and other girls.” Julie reminded them.
“Can you do something for me Jules?” Alex asked. Julie tried not to remind herself that Flynn was the one who started the whole “calling Julie Jules thing.”
Julie shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”
“Imagine Flynn dating a guy.”
Both Willie and Julie looked at Alex skeptically. Another silent conversation went on between the two and Willie quickly understood what Alex was trying to do. “But, Flynn’s a lesbian.”
“Just do it, please.” Alex instructed.
Julie sighed but closed her eyes. She tried to picture Flynn in her mind on a date with a guy, which was way harder than Julie thought it would be. Soon enough, a picture appeared in her head. Flynn and this imaginary guy were sitting across from each other at a restaurant. They were holding hands above the table and sharing a strawberry milkshake. Flynn was laughing at a joke the guy was telling her. The more Julie thought about it, the more weird it felt.
“So?”
“It makes me feel the exact same way. Why does it make me feel the exact same way. I thought it was supposed to make me feel better!” Julie sat down on the loveseat that was placed a few inches away from the couch and placed her head in her hands.
“But it didn’t.”
Julie glanced at Willie. “No, Willie, it didn’t.” Julie didn’t mean to be so snarky with him. It wasn’t his fault Julie was having problems. He was only there to help. Luckily, he didn’t seem to be offended.
“So. let me get this straight-” Alex started but was cut off by Willie’s giggling. “You? Get something straight?” Willie’s comment made Julie remember exactly why she was friends with him. She started giggling along with him. Alex just looked purely unamused, but Julie knew he wasn’t mad at Willie. That’s just who Willie was, a loveable dork.
Willie looked over at Alex and Alex gave him a disapproving look which caused him to stop laughing. “Sorry.” Willie mumbled.
“Anyway,” Alex gave Willie a long stare before continuing. “The idea of Flynn dating a girl makes you feel weird and Flynn dating a guy makes you feel the exact same way?”
Julie nodded and Alex folded his arms. “Well, you aren’t homophobic or lesbophobic,” Alex paused for a second, allowing Julie to take in his words.” I think you’re just jealous.” He concluded.
Julie tilted her head. “I’m not jealous of Flynn!” She stated.
Willie chuckled. “Yeah, we know. Alex means you're jealous of the people Flynn’s dating.”
It took a minute for that to sink in. What were these guys talking about? “And why would I be jealous?”
“Julie, you’re a smart girl. Think about it. Why would you be jealous of the people Flynn’s dating?”
She didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Alex was giving her a lot more credit she deserved right now. Julie knew she was smart, at least to some degree. She took calculus as a sophomore, that had to count for something, right? While Julie was book smart, common sense smart wasn’t her strongest suit. She was probably the most common sense smart out of all her other friends, which wasn’t saying much. Alex was the only one who even came close to being common sense smart but once Willie was added to the equation, all that common sense was thrown right out the window. The answer wasn’t clicking in Julie’s brain until she really started to think about it.
Finally, she started to understand what Alex was getting at. “Oh…” She whispered, mostly to herself.
“Would you like to share your thoughts with the class?” Willie joked. Alex once again rolled his eyes at Willie’s joke but Julie saw the small smile that cracked on his face.
“I think I like Flynn…” Julie didn’t know exactly how she should feel. On one hand, she felt relieved. She now had the answer to her problem. On the other hand… “I can’t! She’s my best friend!”
“But Alex was my best friend and look at us now.” Willie argued.
Alex nodded. “Yeah….” He took a second before turning back to Willie. “What do you mean was?”
Willie smiled and shook his head. “What I’m trying to say, Julie is that yeah, you’re best friends but there’s a chance she feels the same way.”
“She probably doesn’t.”
Willie raised his eyebrow. “Probably?”
Julie threw her hands up. “I don’t know. I never thought about the possibility until now. We’re so close and I don’t want to ruin that.”
“Julie…” Alex reached his hand out towards Julie, which she took. “Flynn loves you more than anyone. Even if she doesn’t like you in that way, you aren’t gonna lose her.”
“Life’s all about taking risks, Julie,” Of course Willie had to bring the idea of risks into this. Risk taking was Willie’s middle name. “Maybe she does like you, maybe she doesn’t but you’ll never know if you don’t try. Again, look at us.” There it is. There’s two things Willie loved to bring into conversations and that was risk taking and his relationship with Alex. If it was anyone else, Julie would probably think it was super annoying but it wasn’t just anyone, it was Willie. Getting annoyed with Willie was pretty much impossible. His heart was always in the best place and he just wants to help everyone all the time.
At least him mentioning his relationship was relevant and he’s right. Julie had to watch as Alex and Willie painfully walked around each other for the longest time to the point where it was starting to affect their friendship and eventually she had enough. She helped the two of them get together and they’ve been going strong for years now. Their mutual crushes on each other stemmed from a super close bond. Julie and Flynn had an even stronger bond. The two have been through practically everything together. Julie couldn’t imagine what it would be like without Flynn. Julie wanted Flynn in her future, even if that meant just as friends. She’d seen how keeping emotions bottled up inside affected Alex and Willie and she definitely didn’t want that to happen between her and Flynn. Either Flynn liked her back or she didn’t. It was better to know now rather than later.
“You’re right. I’m gonna tell her.” Julie announced, causing the two boys to smile.
“That’s awesome Julie! Do you need any help? I mean, we owe you a lot.” Willie offered. Julie thought for a second before shaking her head. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it on her own. “I’m good.”
“Well, good luck. I don’t think you’ll need it though.” Julie wasn’t exactly sure what Alex had meant by that but she decided to brush it off. She needed to think of a plan.
“Thanks,” Julie smiled before remembering something. “Actually, I do need one thing.”
“Anything, just tell us what it is.” Willie urged.
Julie bounded her knee. “I just, really don’t feel like going back home today. You guys think I could spend the night?”
Alex and Willie smiled at each other. Willie got off the couch and offered his hand to Julie. She took it and stood up from the loveseat. “Of course you can. You can even take the bed if you want.”
“No, I’ll just sleep on the couch.” She said as she pointed to the couch with her thumb.
“Really, we don’t mind if you take the bed Julie.”
“I’ll be fine Alex.” Julie insisted. She appreciated the fact that they even offered. Julie was incredibly grateful to have Alex and Willie in her life. She was grateful for all of her friends. She couldn’t have lucked out any better in the friend department.
Julie was completely fine sleeping on the couch the way it was but the two insisted that she take three blankets and two extra pillows “just in case.” She wasn't exactly sure what type of situation would need three blankets but she took it anyway. They were going to stop insisting until Julie took them so there was no point arguing. They wished their good nights and Willie and Alex walked off to their bedroom.
Just as Julie was about to sit on the couch, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She took her phone out and stared at the screen. It was a text notification. Julie smiled the moment she noticed the name. It was Flynn. She had this thing where every night, she would send Julie a goodnight message. She started it in freshman year and even though they live together, she still sends them every night. Julie thought it was incredibly sweet and it was one of the reasons she loved Flynn. She hadn’t expected Flynn to send one tonight considering the argument they had but the fact that Flynn still sent one, made Julie smile.
Flynn: Hey Jules, I know that today was a rough day between us but just remember that I’m always here for you, no matter what. You are the most important person to me and I want nothing but for you to be happy. Just talk to me Jules, whatever it is, I’ll listen. You’re my star Julie. Goodnight, I love you.
Julie’s heart melted at Flynn’s message. Even when Julie was a total jerk, Flynn still wanted to hear her out. She had to come up with something soon. She hated that she was leaving Flynn in the dark but Flynn deserved something amazing, not some half job explanation. Julie sent Flynn a quick text, telling her that she’ll explain everything soon and that she loved her.
Julie probably reread that text about 10 times and each time she did, she kept focusing on one sentence in particular.
“You’re my star Julie.”
That’s exactly how Julie felt about Flynn. She was the most confident person Julie knew and she shined in so many ways. Julie needed a way to show to Flynn how much she really means to her. The first idea that came into her head was a song. She’s written so many songs, that seemed like the obvious choice. But if she wanted to be able to talk to Flynn the next day, there’s no way she could write a whole new song.
She’s written songs in a day before but she always had someone else to bounce ideas off of. Technically, she had Willie and Alex to bounce ideas off of but she didn’t want to bother them. They had already helped her out a lot and even though they would be happy to help more, she felt like she’s asked them for enough already. Besides, Julie could figure this out on her own, she just needed some sort of push in the right direction. The problem was, she didn’t have her songbook with her. She didn’t think she’d need it. Julie sighed, ready to just give up for the night. There wasn’t much she could do.
Until she remembered her notes app.
She didn’t write many songs in her notes app since she’d rather write them in her song book but at least she had something she could work off of. She scrolled through her notes app, which she realized she probably should clear out sometime. About half of her notes were just completely random and were no help.
She finally got to one song that seemed promising at first. It was a song called “Te Amo” that she wrote just before she moved in with Flynn. However, as she read through the lyrics, she realized that maybe it wasn’t the best song for this occasion. Still, she made a mental note to share it with the guys one of these days and see what they thought of it. Not to brag or anything, but she thought it was a pretty good song but she needed something else for Flynn. She kept scrolling and just as she was starting to think it was useless, her eye caught something.
Perfect Harmony.
It’s been a while since she’s seen this song. It’s been probably about two or three years since she last looked over it. She started writing it when she had a crush on Luke but she never finished it. She only got about half way through it before she ended up forgetting about it. The band was working on a bunch of other things and the song just got pushed to the side but now, at least she had something to work with. She would stay up all night if she had to, though Julie didn’t think it would take that long.
Hopefully, she could get this done before the sun rises.
--------
Julie was woken up by a loud crash and then shushing.
At first, she didn’t want to get up. She could very easily go back to sleep but this was the universe’s sign that she needed to wake up. She slowly stretched her arms as she surveyed the scene across the room. Willie was holding a frying pan with a bunch of bowls on the floor around him and Alex was standing in front of him whisper-shouting. Julie couldn’t exactly hear what he was saying but she heard the words “Julie’s still sleeping.” Not anymore she wasn’t. They had yet to notice that she had woken up and just as Julie was about to say something, Willie pulled Alex into a kiss which made Julie smile. She was proud of many things in her life but getting Willie and Alex together was pretty high up there. Still, she felt like she should tell them she was awake now. She slowly made her way off the couch. The two were too absorbed in each other to even notice Julie’s footsteps.
“Good morning guys.” She announced, making her presence known. The boys separated at the sound of her voice.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Willie asked. He looked guilty, which almost made Julie lie but she was an awful liar and he would catch it right away.
“Kinda,” Julie held her hands out the moment Willie went to speak. “But it's fine. I needed a wake up call.”
Willie looked down at the bowls that were scattered on the floor. “I was just trying to make breakfast for you guys but turns out, the bowls had a different plan.”
“I appreciate the thought.” Julie smiled.
Alex took the pan from Willie’s hand. “I’ll make breakfast while you clean up this mess.”
“Yeah, good idea.” Willie started to collect the bowls from the floor. Julie went to go and help him but Willie stopped her. “You’re the guest. I got this.”
“Based on the amount of times I’ve been here, I hardly consider myself a guest anymore”
Willie didn’t respond, he just smiled before continuing to clean up the spilled bowls. “What’s on the menu for breakfast Lex?”
Alex was facing the fridge, staring into it. He seemed to be looking for something. “Wills? Where’s the eggs?”
Willie cleaned up the last bowl before standing up. He shifted on his feet. “Yeah...about that. I was kinda distracted at the store and...forgot them.” Alex glanced at Willie, which made Willie continue. “But, I did get pancake mix.”
Alex crossed his arms. “You mean the thing we have fifty boxes of?”
“Maybe…”
Even though Alex rolled his eyes, Julie knew Willie wouldn’t take it to heart. He knew Alex and knew that it was actually pretty hard to make Alex mad. Well, more like it was hard for Willie to make Alex mad. His smile was enough to get him out of most trouble. “Fine, pancakes it is.”
Alex made his way around the kitchen gracefully. Willie and Julie watched him from the kitchen table. While Alex didn’t talk much about his home life, Julie knew that Alex used to cook a lot for his sister. His dad was a big business man and his mom was just constantly on call for work so they didn’t really have time to make breakfast. That was usually Alex’s job. While most people would probably hate having to make breakfast every morning, Alex loved it. He got lost in it the same way he got lost in drumming or how Julie got lost in songwriting.
Songwriting was Julie’s escape from the world around her. Her mom was the one who sparked her interest in it. Growing up, Julie wanted to be just like her mom. She was extremely talented and even though Julie thought she was perfect, her mom always wanted to improve. “Nothing is perfect mija.” She’d always say. There was never a day that went by where Julie didn’t think about her mom. Would she be proud of who Julie was now?
She didn’t focus too long on that though. Today was going to be a good day, or at least that’s what she was hoping for. The three of them ate breakfast and as soon as they finished, Julie told them she had to go. She needed to go home and make sure the song was perfect for when she performed it for Flynn. The guys understood and wished her luck, even though they didn’t know exactly what she was doing. She didn’t tell them about the song. It’s not that she didn’t want to tell them, but she knew that if she mentioned it, they’d ask to see it. It’s not that Julie didn’t want them to see it, but she wanted it to be special for Flynn. As soon as she performs it for Flynn, she’ll probably show it to the guys anyway. Luke might get slightly mad at her for not showing him the song right away but he’ll learn to deal with it.
Julie was a lot calmer than she thought she would be when she entered the apartment. It was quiet, definitely too quiet. Flynn still had yet to return. She wasn’t exactly expecting Flynn to be there. She was actually glad that Flynn wasn’t currently there but she wondered where Flynn had actually gone. Chances are, Flynn went back home for the night. She had always been extremely close to her parents, even with their...slightly...odd nature. Julie went to her room and pulled out her keyboard. She didn’t have room for a full scale piano in her room so her dad gave her a portable one as her going away gift. She reminded him that she wasn’t really going away but she still appreciated the sediment. It was a good thing that she had the keyboard though. Otherwise, she’d have to go to the studio. If she went to the studio, the chances of running into one of the guys or her family was extremely high. You can hear anything from the studio. Julie felt slightly bad for her neighbors but they never seemed to mind. If they did, they never said anything.
It only took a few minutes for Julie to get the right sound that she wanted for the song. She had some basic notes of it figured out before, she just needed to expand upon them. Luckily for her, expanding was pretty easy. She could see her vision and she was beyond excited. Something about it almost felt too easy. Things were just easy when it came to Flynn. Julie knew exactly what to expect, to not expect anything. Flynn was a wild card. She was exciting and that’s what Julie loved about her.
Julie probably practiced her song about ten times already. She was confident in her abilities but she just wanted it to be perfect. Flynn deserved nothing but the best.
About halfway through Julie’s eleventh time practicing the song, she heard the front door open. She could tell it was Flynn, even though Flynn had yet to say anything. She could just feel Flynn’s presence. Plus, Flynn was the only other person with a key to the apartment.
“Jules? You home?” Flynn called out.
“Yeah, I’m in my room!” She called back.
Julie could hear the sound of Flynn’s footsteps coming closer and closer. Now, Julie was really starting to feel the weight of what was about to happen. She was really going to sing a song, confessing her feelings. Maybe she shouldn’t do this. She just realized she liked Flynn hours ago and she’s about to tell her. This was some Luke level impulse. Normally, following Luke’s impulse was the last thing she wanted to do. He was known for getting himself into trouble.
On the other hand, Luke’s impulse is what not only got her back into the music program, but also got her in the band. Without Luke’s impulse, music would probably still not be a part of her life. She needed to do this now or it will never happen. Realistically, Julie knew that the worst thing that would happen was that Flynn doesn’t like her back and she’s weird for a few days. While Flynn could be pretty dramatic, she wouldn’t end a friendship over something like this. Especially not one that’s over a decade long. She’d be more mad if Julie had hid it from her. Flynn doesn’t take the idea of secrets very well.
Flynn came into Julie’s room and sat on her bed. There was a distance between them that Julie desperately wanted to close. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. Usually, this won’t bother Julie. They’ve been friends for so long, they don’t need a constant conversation to keep things from being awkward. Silence was comfortable for them, except this wasn’t just normal silence. This was after an argument silence. Honestly, Julie wasn’t expecting for Flynn to come into her room at all. Flynn could hold a grudge if she wanted to and Julie definitely deserved it. Julie had a feeling that Flynn wasn’t going to talk, so she took the first step. “I know I was being a major jerk.”
Flynn looked up at Julie and crossed her arms. “A little.”
Julie tried not to take offense to that. “First off, I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I was totally out of line and I shouldn't have acted like that.”
“What’s going on with you Jules? I thought you were happy living with me.” Julie could hear the small bit of sadness in Flynn’s voice, even though she was doing a pretty good job at trying to hide it.
“Of course I am. I just...there was something that I needed to figure out. I didn’t know that I needed to figure it out until last night.” Julie admitted.
“Which was?”
“Jumping right into it I see.”
Flynn didn’t respond, instead, she just stared at Julie, waiting for an explanation. Julie shook her head and put her keyboard out in front of her. Flynn tilted her head and was about to ask a question but Julie stopped her. “Please, don’t say anything till I’m done. If you still need me to explain, I will, just please let me finish.”
Flynn nodded which made Julie smile. She could tell that Flynn was super confused but she hoped that maybe this could clear the air. Julie also decided that after this, she wouldn't be doing anything else super impulsive for a while. “I’ve been feeling super weird lately and I didn’t understand why until I talked to Alex and Willie. I could just tell you straight up but this is just a little more fun.”
Julie took a deep breath before she hovered her finger above the keys. She only lets another second go by before she lowered her hand. The moment her fingertips hit the keys, she started to play.
Step into my world
Bittersweet love story about a girl
Shook me to the core
Voice like an angel, I've never heard before
One thing Julie knew for sure was that Flynn needed to use her voice more. She wasn’t scared of performing. She just chose not to most of the time. She believed that Julie deserved the spotlight. Julie wished she could share the spotlight with Flynn. She couldn't even describe how happy performing with Flynn would make her. They had always joked about performing as “Double Trouble.” The thought that maybe someday, that might actually happen filled Julie with joy. It was the same feeling of joy she got anytime she hung out with Flynn. Julie was now questioning how it took so long for her to realize she liked Flynn. It’s probably because Flynn was the one to point out Julie’s crushes. She didn’t even completely realize she liked Luke until Flynn had said something. Flynn just always knew.
As Julie continued to sing, she would look up at Flynn every once in a while to see her reactions. The fact that Flynn’s face stayed completely neutral scared her. She was the type of person who always wore her heart on her sleeve. Why did she choose now to not react? Still, Julie wasn’t going to stop. She needed to finish what she started.
We say we're friends, we play pretend
You're more to me, we're everything
Our voices rise and soar so high
We come to life when we're
In perfect harmony
Julie wasn’t sure if this part completely fit. She didn’t know how Flynn felt about her but the lyrics just flowed so nicely so she had kept it in. Still, Flynn had no visible reaction. At least Flynn didn’t look completely disgusted right now. People do say that no news is good news. Julie wasn’t exactly sure how well that saying fit into this exact situation but it was the thing that kept her going.
I feel your rhythm in my heart, yeah-yeah
You are my brightest, burning star, woah-woah
I never knew a love so real
We're heaven on earth, melody and words
When we are together we're
In perfect harmony
Julie added in the star line last minute. Flynn needed to know that she was also Julie’s star. The sediment didn’t only go one way. Julie looked up and for a second, it almost seemed like Flynn was smiling. She couldn’t tell though because Flynn’s look immediately fell back into its stone cold one the moment Julie had looked up. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Julie’s part.
We say we're friends
We play pretend
You're more to me
We create a perfect harmony
Neither of them had said anything when Julie finished the song. Julie didn’t know exactly what to say. She left like the song said everything that it needed to. Still, Flynn didn’t look upset. It looked almost as if she was confused. What could she possibly be confused about. Julie thought the song was pretty straight forward. As time went by, Julie was getting tired of the silence. She just wanted Flynn to tell her she wasn’t interested and return to how they were before. Well, no, she actually wanted Flynn to tell her that she liked her back but a rejection was better than this quiet in between. Just as Julie was about to talk, Flynn finally spoke. “Can I talk now?”
“Oh, yeah, go ahead.” Julie remembered how she told Flynn to not say anything. Flynn took everything seriously because she was a “very literal person”. She mentions it practically everyday. In hindsight, she should’ve told Flynn she was done instead of just sitting around waiting.
“So….unless I’m reading this wrong, you’re saying you like me. That is what you’re saying, right?”
Julie didn’t trust herself to say anything, so she just nodded. Flynn nodded in response. Julie couldn’t decide if that reaction was a good one or bad one.
“Wow…. I don’t even know what to say.”
So maybe it was a bad reaction after all. Julie needed to say something. Sitting in silence wasn’t going to help anything. “I mean, obviously, you don’t have to feel the same way or anything. I just thought I should tell you, which now that I’m thinking about it, might’ve not been the best choice. I mean I’m not sure if you like absolutely hate me right now or not but I-“
“Jules!” Flynn interrupted. Julie immediately stopped talking once Flynn had cut in. She realized about halfway through that she was just rambling but once she started, she felt like she couldn’t stop on her own.
Flynn slowly grabbed Julie’s hand, causing her to look up in surprise. “I like you too.”
Was Julie hearing this right? No, there was no way.
“What?”
“I like you too Jules.” She confessed.
Well, out of all the outcomes, that’s definitely not how she expected this to go down. She was expecting Flynn to reject her and then Julie was going to watch Mean Girls while eating ice cream to cope. The possibility of Flynn liking her back felt low. It felt pretty much impossible.
“But, I’ve been a major jerk lately.” Julie reminded her.
“Not to me you haven’t.” Flynn argued. “Sure, you acted out of line sometimes, especially Carrie but you’re not usually like that, Jules. I knew something was up.”
Julie smiled. At least Flynn didn’t think she was some sort of monster. Julie knew that she had to get her jealousy under control. But since she knew Flynn liked her back, she didn’t think that was going to be a problem.
The two of them stared at each other and Julie noticed Flynn was still holding her hand. Flynn made it clear that she knew that Julie noticed but made no effort to move away. She didn’t have to. It felt right for Flynn’s hand to be in hers.
“So, I was thinking, maybe you and I could go to like dinner or something?”
. “You’ve known me since we were six and that’s the best you can do?” Flynn teased.
“Hey, I wrote you a song.”
Flynn rolled her eyes. “Ok fair,” A smile grew on her face. “I’d love to go out with you. On one condition.”
Julie tilted her head. “You have to apologize to Carrie first.”
Ok, yeah. That’s fair. She was already planning on apologizing to Carrie. Even though Carrie hasn’t been the nicest person in the past, she was better now and she didn’t deserve Julie’s snarkiness towards her. “I think that can be arranged.”
“Well, I think I can squeeze a dinner with you into my very busy schedule.”
Instead of responding, Julie pulled Flynn into a tight hug. Flynn slowly wrapped her arms around Julie and buried her head in her shoulder. A sense of happinesses flowed over Julie as Flynn tightened her grip ever so slightly.
Julie could get used to this.