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Naked. Head to toe and under the water, with her hands covering the eyes. She could feel every edge of her body surrender by the transparent liquid, so pure, trying to wipe out of her all the dirt. She was loath of the idea of her own skin, burning with the memories of hands she allowed to touch her. It was consensual. She supposed to enjoy all that. But the memories, fucking memories were like a horror film in her mind.
Crystal sat down in a jump, trying to get her breath back. Her chest hurt like hell, and she was afraid that if her body didn’t have react by her own, she would have pathetically got drowned in a bathtub. In Gigi's house bathtub.
Whatever.
She went back to cleaning herself, scrubbing her skin with the sponge with all her might. She could still perceive that disgusting smell in her nostrils. He didn't ask her before taking his pants and underwear off and that smell hit her like sulfur. It wasn't the first time, but it was a long time ago since the last time she (tried) to be with a man. She tried. She supposed to want that. But she was about to throw up.
“I hate men” she whispered to herself, contemplating her image reflected in the water.
But she liked boys. Or at least she used to be convinced of that. She found them cute and sometimes even funny.
All her life Crystal was convinced she loved boys and wanted a boyfriend. She hasn't gotten laid yet just because she is so freaking weird and boys get scared out of her. And she was okay with that because she had enough just with Gigi attention. She has amazing friends apart from Gigi, of course, mostly girls Because men suck. But she was attracted to them, wasn't her?
As best she could, Crystal got rid of that nauseous smell. She would probably burn her dirty clothes when she gets home. For now, she just dropped it in a black bag in a corner of the bathroom before getting into one of Gigi's fluffy two-piece pajamas. In was baby blue colored with little angels all over the fabric. She looked like a baby, like the pretty owner of the clothes.
“I thought you were supposed to sleep at your boyfriend’s” Gigi smirked at Crystal when she entered in her bedroom.
“I don't have a boyfriend.” Crystal, she mumbled, resisting again the urge to vomit.
Gigi looked at her frowning. She was sitting beside her bed, on a rug, painting her toenails with a bright coral-red polish.
Crystal should be jealous of her. So feminine and skilled. There was almost anything Miss Gigi couldn't do. Crystal was clumsy, silly, with a strange vibe (but charming, as Gigi has said once). But she just wanted to lay her head on Gigi's lap and look dumbfoundedly at her concentrated face while she performed her task. And that was exactly what she did.
Gigi welcomed her on her lap with a big smile, showing those perfect and bright white teeth. Crystal smiled back at her with feigned shyness.
“You're so freaking adorable” Gigi laughed before going back to her nails.
“I think I am gay, Gigi.”
Gigi stopped suddenly. Her eyes went back to the girl in her lap.
“What?”
“I don't know, Gigi. It was horrible today.”
“Wait, what?” Gigi jumped, throwing away the bottle of nail polish. “Did that fucker hurt you??”
Her eyes were on fire, like she was about to kill anyone who put a finger on her best friend.
“No, no, baby. Everything was fine. He was respectful. Not exactly, you know, gentle or romantic or anything that actually turned me on. I just didn't feel anything. I mean, I even was about to throw up went he pulled out his dick. That shit is disgusting Gigi, I don’t know how you can have sex with that.”
Gigi laughed out loud with that las sentence.
“Well, it's simpler than it seems.”
Crystal shook her head. “It's just not my thing.”
“Maybe he is not the right one, sweetheart.” Gigi lifted the jar of varnish before its dense content got spilled onto the carpet, ruining it.
Crystal sat up smoothly but firm. “No, Gigi, for real. I have tried. With boys that I was attracted to, or at least I used to think so. But I get bored as soon as I start, and if I continue, I get to feel disgusted. I am tired of trying to find the ‘right one’ or whatever. I. just. don’t. like. men. But I am pretty sure I do like girls. A lot”
Gigi sighed and gave a tired smile to her friend.
“Well, yeah. Me neither.”
Crystal widened her eyes.
“Whaaaaaaaaaat? Since when???? You've had a lot of boyfriends”
“Yes, but not anymore. I like this girl more than any man I have ever liked. Actually, I don't think I ever liked men. I think it was the comphet”
“What the hell is comphe-what?” Crystal grimaced, unable to articulate the word.
Gigi put her hand over her friend's and enlaced their fingers. Then, put both hands back in her lap and let her head rest in Crystal's shoulder.
“I was reading about it some nights ago and since then it hasn't stopped spinning in my head. Is the short for compulsory heterosexuality. It basically means that heterosexuality is forced upon us women by our culture. We are so used to it that we assume that we still like men even after find we are attracted to girls. But we actually don't. Is just the comphet talking. Of course, I am not invalidating bi girls or anything. It just isn't me. Of course, I get crushes on male celebrities and shit but is just platonic and that's all. I was the same with the boyfriends I had.”
“Oh” Crystal blinked, processing all the information she had just received.
“It makes sense, doesn't it?” Gigi looked relieved after coming out to her friend. After a moment, Crystal nodded with a sweet smile and hugged her friend.
“Yeah, we gay.” The other laughed, patting Crystal's back. After separating, Gigi gathered her things from the rug, and they got ready to go to bed. Once with the lights off and under the blanket, Crystal spoke again: “You know what? For a moment I came to think that I was just a frigid girl”
Crystal wasn't looking at Gigi but at the roof. Her eyes darker and sad.
“Oh, baby” Gigi turned to face Crystal and put a hand on the other’s belly. “You're burning with passion. Men just don’t deserve all the energy you radiate.”
“The first boy I tried to had sex with told me that. He said I didn’t feel anything while making out with him because I am a cold bitch.”
“What a bastard” Gigi showed her teeth and Crystal could feel her hand turned into a fist. “Tell me who was him and I gonna kill him.”
“No, it's okay. I prefer you to stay with me and cuddle.” Crystal finale smile, taking Gigi's hand between hers. “What do you think?”
Of course Gigi agreed. After all, Crystal is the girl she likes. But that confession could wait for some other nights.