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The bed creaks in the dead of night. The only sound in the dimly lit room are the younger’s whimpers as he holds the older, trying to close the nonexistent gap in between them.
But he feels it. He feels the gap getting wider and wider until he loses sight of the man he holds close. .
The younger drawls out a loud, high pitched moan in the older’s ear, making the man on top of him growl. Soobin is sure there’s going to be a bruise on his hips later from how hard the older is holding him but he can’t find it in himself to care. Yeonjun is relentless, his member directly hitting Soobin’s prostate with each thrust, making him cry out.
“Please” Soobin cries repeatedly like a prayer. “Please, Yeonjun.” He doesn’t know if he’s begging for release or something else. He’s sure it’s the latter.
Yeonjun leaves a trail of kisses up the other’s neck to the corner of his mouth. His plump lips ghost over the younger’s as he stares at the tears cascading down Soobin’s cheeks.
Yeonjun unravels one of his lover’s hands from his back and intertwines their fingers.
Soobin watches him, “I love you.”
Ah there it is.
Yeonjun is taken aback, Soobin can feel when he falters inside of him but quickly composes himself.Soobin’s eyes flutter shut as he leans his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
Yeonjun makes the boy underneath him look at him. The pink haired boy smiles, it’s sharp, but it’s there nonetheless as he reaches up to take Soobin’s cheek in his hand. Soobin leans into the palm that his stroking the side of his face.
With this, they can pretend, even if it’s just a few hours. They can pretend that they’re still happy. They can pretend that Soobin is still Yeonjun’s home with a heartbeat as he looks down at the blue haired boy with a loving smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I love you too, Bunny.”
Soobin can hear his heart break as a ghost of a smile appears on his face.
Maybe it’s ok to pretend just for one night.
When morning comes, the couple lie awake in bed. The younger traces circles on the other’s chest.
Soobin braces himself for his next words, trying to summon the little courage he has. With a tremble he whispers, “Aren’t you tired, Yeonjun.”
The other hums in acknowledgment watching the blue haired boy with calculating eyes. “No.. I feel fine. Are you?”
Soobin can feel his eyes brimming with tears as he breathes slowly. The weight of his next words hanging in the air, “I’m tired of pretending.” He takes Yeonjun’s hand as he sits up to look at the other clearly. He sees the realization in the other’s eyes. After all, Yeonjun could never hide anything from Soobin.. just like the new cologne he’s been using or the faint smell of blueberry pie and whipped cream, an omega’s scent not his own on his boyfriend’s clothes. “Aren’t.. aren’t you tired of pretending?”
Yeonjun looks at his boyfriend. He can see the 4 years of their relationship play out as a movie in his mind. He remembers when he asked the shy, timid freshman in high school. Everyone thought it was a dare but he proudly declared he’s been watching Soobin afar. Looking back, they used to laugh at how Yeonjun was basically Soobin’s stalker.
Yeonjun knows. He knows what his lover is referring to but he always did know how to feign ignorance. “What?”
But Soobin knows his boyfriend, he knows everything about him from his nail biting when he’s anxious or the tightened jaw when he’s annoyed.
He sees Yeonjun tighten his fists. Ah hesitation. . Soobin thinks to himself. .
“Soobin, Soobin I swear I-“ A choked sob radiates in the room. “Soobin I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” It’s not . “ im sorry for not being enough.”
Yeonjun breaks down, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Im so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I love you! I-I swear! But.. but Taehyun came into our life with a smile that rivals the sun and I-“
And Soobin understands. He understand how Yeonjun fell for Taehyun. The younger is perfect in every way. “I’m tired, Yeonjun.” Soobin whispers again.
There’s silence hanging in the air like a thick fog. Soobin thinks it’s lasted for hours when it’s only been a few minutes. He refuses to meet Yeonjun’s gaze, too hurt and anxious to even look up so he seeks comfort in picking his nails. He’s going to leave me for good and I don’t have the courage to say anything else to him.
Suddenly, soft fingers position themselves under Soobin’s chin, making him look at the other
across from him, meeting eyes filled with pity. “I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever.”
“Why?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper as his eyes dart off to the side, refusing to meet Yeonjun’s gaze.
“Because you’re my soulmate, not Taehyun.” Soobin wants to scoff, tell him I wasn’t your soulmate when you recorded yourself fucking him but he doesn’t, he was never one for confrontation.
“But you don’t love me.” He tries, just to get interrupted.
“I love you with everything in me but I love him as well.” Yeonjun’s palms rest on Soobin’s cheek, thumb caressing it. “I love the small creeks in the floorboards of our love he takes up but I love the oceans we fill with our promises of tomorrow. I love you with my soul but I love him with my head.”
Our souls may be connected but he’s quietly folding his clothes for a drawer in your mind. Soobin whispers to himself. He can feel the tears flowing down his cheeks as he looks at the man that waxed poetry in the confessions of an affair. How could you he wants to scream.
The mating bite on his neck suddenly itches as he scratches the skin, breaking a piece of it off as the fox eyed male grabs his wrist. “What are you doing?!” He yells.
“You gave up on me, Jjunie.” Soobin cries, aggressively wiping the tears falling down his face.
Suddenly, a loud ringtone the identify as Yeonjun’s makes both the men jump as they glance at the caller ID.
Taehyunnie
Yeonjun looks at the broken man in front of him before answering it, holding the device to his ears, eyes never leaving Soobin. “Yes?”
“I’m.. im in pain. I need you, hyung.”
Yeonjun takes a breath and Soobin can almost see the internal conflict.
“I’ll be right there.” He whispers, hanging up. Soobin bites his lip and averts his eyes, trying to steady his breathing.
“I’ll be back. I promise.” Yeonjun reaches out to Soobin, making him flinch away.
“Just go.” He says, with a defeated tone and shaky breath. “Just don’t expect me to be here when you get bsck.”
Yeonjun looks at him in sympathy.
“I’m sorry.”
He says before walking out of their bedroom door, never looking back.