Chapter Text
Hospitals aren’t as depressing as everyone says it is. Osamu Dazai isn’t exactly a positive person but he can stand by that statement. Hospitals serve as a bridge between life and death. Many die there, many are born there, others are stuck, waiting to reach either end of the blood stained bridge. So he doesn’t mind waiting for his uncle to get out of surgery so he can get the keys to the house.
Why doesn’t he just go into his office? It’s a valid question with an unreasonable answer. Mori doesn’t let anyone enter his office, "it’s an intrusion into his mind of work". It may sound reasonable to most but anyone who has met Mori Ougai knows it could never be that easy to intrude his mind, if even possible.
Dazai is standing by the coffee cart, tucked into a corner of the waiting room next to the vending machines. It’s a nice hospital, clean with sleek floors. The chairs weren’t very comfortable though, which didn’t make much sense since the purpose of the waiting room was to wait. He is up to pouring his fourth sugar packet when he feels eyes on him. Turning his head, he sees red, then blue, then.. disgust?
“What the actual fuck?” the kid says as he stares at Dazai and his coffee, holding the lid to his own freshly made coffee which looks disgustingly bitter.
“Yes?” Dazai smiles, it was odd how content he felt knowing he made a complete stranger this annoyed. He continues until he reaches his ninth packet which apparently bothers the redhead even more. Was it the amount of sugar or the odd number? Probably both. Dazai puts the lid onto his coffee and turns to face the redhead, smiling as he takes a big sip of his coffee. The redhead’s face cringes as he puts the lid onto his coffee cup.
He has sharp blue eyes, the cutting kind. Probably sharper than any scalpel in the entire hospital. He’s got dark skinny jeans with a grey hoodie and a leather jacket over it. His hair looks stupid and messy, as if he just got out of bed. It looks soft. Wait what?
“Nakahara?” Mori calls out. The redhead turns and takes a few steps to close the distance between him and the doctor. Dazai was close enough to hear everything but the redhead didn’t seem to care.
“He is out of surgery and stable, there were no complications or permanent damage. He’s a very lucky man” Mori explains with a detached yet empathetic tone. It was common in most doctors, though their empathy and compassion was more genuine than superficial.
“Cool” Nakahara answers with a straight face, and Dazai almost snorts. It was not funny. Maybe this is supposed to be sad. Maybe the redhead is tired or didn’t process the information. But Dazai found it very amusing. Mori now notices Dazai is there, pointing him to stay quiet.
“They’re going to transport him in two hours, you’re welcome to see him if yo-” Mori begins before Nakahara interrupts him. “No thanks, goodnight” he says unamused, before turning around and leaving. Mori and Dazai exchange glances before he clears his throat.
“Wait here, I’ll get the keys,” Mori says before sighing and making his way to the elevator.
A small grin grew onto Dazai’s face. Interesting.
Dazai comes home to a much quieter house than usual now that his mother is away. It’s quite peaceful. Or is it supposed to be sad? Mori's house is a very generous size, even after being divided. Part of the first floor had been closed off and reconstructed, now containing a bathroom, one bedroom, a small kitchen and living space with it’s own door that leads out of the house. His mother had stayed there while Dazai and Elise had their own rooms on the second floor.
The front door opens and laughter pours into the living room. Dazai turns from the couch to see Oda and Kouyou stumbling, both clearly tipsy and giggly.
“Oh hey Dazai” Oda smiles as he holds Kouyou so she doesn’t trip on her heels. Designer heels to be specific, on a waitress. Clearly a gift from Odasaku. “Hey” Dazai answers, his voice falling flat. Dazai does want Odasaku to be happy, believe it or not. But not with Kouyou. Dazai doesn’t like or trust her. Maybe his brother is happy and Dazai doesn’t see it. Maybe that’s what happiness looks like. Maybe that’s what someone looks like when they’re in love. But Odasaku can do better. He deserves better.
Kouyou whispers something in Odasaku’s ear that has him bursting out in laughter once again. Dazai rolls his eyes, turning away until he hears even more voices.
“But these sprinkles aren’t rainbow!” Elise whines, holding a strawberry ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles.
“I know, I’m sorry they ran out but I promise they taste the same!” Atsushi pleads as he holds his own cone. Next to him was his younger sister Kyouka, who was silently eating her cookies and cream cone. God knows how, Elise made a friend at her music lessons so the girl’s older brother will take them both out for their playdates. Atsushi is a sweet kid, a bit of a pushover but he’s a patient guy. Dazai doesn’t know why he doesn’t get paid for babysitting two 8 year olds but Atsushi never complained.
“Is there anything to eat?” Kouyou asks, out of breath from laughing. Who does she think she is?
“Nope” Dazai smiles as he gets up to grab his jacket.
“Are you leaving to get food?” Kouyou asks, confused as she watches him slip on his shoes.
“Nope” Dazai smiles again before walking out the door.
He could’ve gotten them food. Maybe he should’ve. The house was loud but not in a bad way, not how it usually was. So why did Dazai still feel the need to leave? They all looked happy, so why wasn’t he? Why is there still this emptiness consuming him from the inside out? He’s been walking for at least an hour, passing by dull, tacky halloween decorations. His phone vibrates and he gets a text from Odasaku.
Odasaku [8:42pm] Hey, where is Hirotsu?
Dazai [8:44pm] He’s on vacation
Odasaku [8:45pm ] There are no groceries
Dazai [8:45pm] Like I said, he’s on vacation
Odasaku [8:46pm] So no one else can buy food?
Dazai [8:46pm] Correct
Odasaku [8:47pm] If you buy groceries, I’ll make us all breakfast tomorrow
Dazai [8:47pm] Anything for you dearest brother!! XD
Odasaku [8:47pm] Thanks I’ll send a list
Dazai would’ve said no but he missed having a homemade breakfast, not that he would ever admit it. Besides, Odasaku doesn’t stay over often. He goes to school in Tokyo but there was a gas leak on campus so classes are cancelled for the next few weeks.
Dazai probably should’ve said no because he will have to carry all the groceries back and he was now on the other side of town.
He walks into the first supermarket he sees and grabs a shopping cart. He ignores the several warnings on the speakers, announcing the store will close shortly. There weren’t many customers or workers left.
“Hey! We’re closing so buy what you already have or come back tomorrow” A voice from behind yells. Dazai turns to find the same blue eyed boy from the hospital. Considering the look on his face, the redhead remembers him too.
“I’m not done,” Dazai answers, showing the list on his phone.
“Not my problem” he answers, annoyed and tired.
“Then wait” Dazai says as he turns his attention back to the freezers as he searches for eggs.
“Huh?! Who the fuck are you telling to wait!?”
Dazai looks around and then back at the redhead. “You, who else? Are you seeing things?”
“You fucking- Give me that!” the boy yells as he snatches the phone from Dazai’s hand. He looks at the phone, and back at the cart over and over, checking off things he already sees in the cart.
“Alright come on” he says as he pushes the cart to the next aisle. They’re in the baking aisle as the redhead carries the flour over to the cart.
“Is that the right brand for pancakes?” Dazai asks, as if he himself would know.
“It’s the most generic brand” the boy answers as he drops it into the cart.
“That doesn’t answer the question”
“Yes! It’ll make pancakes just fine!” the redhead says irritated, “If you’re trying to make pancakes why the fuck did you get soy milk?”
“The carton says soy milk?” Dazai says as he tilts his head in confusion, glancing at the carton sitting in the cart.
“Can you not read?”
“Well what’s the difference?”
“How the fuck should I know?”
“So there is no difference”
“Soy milk isn’t real milk!”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know! It’s fucking soy!”
They both stare at each other, now equally confused. They silently exchange the soy milk for regular milk before heading to the checkout area.
“Do you guys offer delivery services?” Dazai asks while the redhead scans the items
“Delivery services? This is a fucking supermarket, not amazon” he snapped.
“Well I live on the other side of town and I don’t want to carry all of this,” Dazai complained as he leaned on the counter.
“Not my problem” the boy answered as he continued to scan the last of the groceries without looking up.
“I’ll pay you,” Dazai offered as he put his card into the machine.
“I don’t need your money” the redhead snapped as he confirmed the payment and took out the receipt.
“$300” Dazai offered, a smirk growing on his face as he looked at the redhead who stopped to think.
“Fine” the boy muttered “I just have to close up”
Dazai waited on the sidewalk in front of the supermarket for about ten minutes before the redhead came, back in the same clothes he had on earlier in the hospital. “Alright let’s go” the boy says as he picks up the bags.
The autumn air was cool and crisp as they walked towards Dazai’s house. They walked past houses covered in tacky halloween decorations that didn’t look this bright earlier. The two of them walking home with groceries, talking and bickering nonstop, even stealing skeletons from someone’s lawn, agreeing they both get to keep one. Is this what normalcy feels like? Dazai would never admit it but it was sort of nice.
“This is where you live?” the boy said in shock, it was amusing how his eyes looked around, taking the view in. It was a large property, they could probably build another house or two in it. It wasn’t furnished though, so it was just a lot of empty space past the gate. There was a small garden in the back with a fountain which Hirotsu insisted on maintaining. Mori didn’t care for it so he may not have even noticed it was still there.
They set the bags down at the front door and the boy holds out his hand.
“Wow Chibi is very impatient” Dazai laughed as he took out his wallet and handed him the cash.
“Listen man I’m tired and cold- wait what?!? We’re the same height!” the redhead shouted.
“Yeah but I’ll grow,” Dazai smiled.
“Not if you drink that soy milk crap” the boy said as he rolled his eyes and shoved the money into his pocket.
“It’s a good thing you found the regular milk then” Dazai smiled as he opened the front door, “Goodnight chibi, sleep helps you grow too you know” he said and closed the door before the boy could snap back.
Odasaku turns to Dazai from the couch, half asleep with Kouyou on his shoulder. “Who was yelling at the door?” Oda yawned. “Just a delivery boy,” Dazai answered as he left the bags on the counter and went to make another sugary cup of coffee. Odasaku fell back asleep before he could notice or question the skeleton in Dazai’s hand.
It wasn’t exactly ethical to be drinking coffee at this time, but he didn’t plan on sleeping anyways. As he poured in his ninth packet of sugar, he thought about the boy from the supermarket. They may have spent the last hour or two talking and bickering, but he couldn’t even tell you his name. What he could tell you, was that he liked his coffee bitter.