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Jim felt a pit in his stomach filled with guilt emerge as Toby mentioned coming with them to New Jersey. He hesitated and looked off to the side. He really, really didn't want to do this. Not to him. Not now, not ever.
Jim knew how delicate this topic was but he... He couldn't have Claire be the one to stay. She no longer had the shadow staff, she was hurt. And he obviously couldn't stay either in his new form. He swallowed to try and ease his suddenly dry throat.
"Tobes I-..." He began, not knowing how to break it to him.
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The response he got wasn't the one he expected, or wanted. It actually felt like a punch in the gut if anything.
He looked at his boyfriend, AAARRRGGHH!!!, Claire, Blinky, then back at Jim. Tears welled up in his eyes, unable to understand in that moment his reasoning. He didn't say anything yet but Jim crouched down and hugged him.
"I need to go, Claire can't stay without the shadow staff, you're the only one who can protect Arcadia.." As he explained, voice was soft, yet that only made the tears go down Toby's face faster. Jim pulled back to look at him and rubbed away tears, cold, stony fingers meeting warm, soft face skin.
Toby looked over at AAARRRGGHH!!! as he proposed he would stay with him in Arcadia. Toby's features contorted as he tried his best to understand the situation, but his mind was all foggy and jumbled.
"So... You're staying with me..." He began, looking at the troll behind him, before turning back to the half-troll in front of him. "And you're leaving...?"
Jim nodded, understanding this was difficult for them both. "But we'll be back, alright? Eventually." He said with slight pain in his voice, though it was clear that he believed every word of it.
Toby took in a shaky breath and he smiled sadly.
"You better." Toby then tackle hugged Jim, leaving them on the ground, holding each other close, they shared a kiss as a goodbye. Tears ran down Toby's face, and though Jim wanted to cry along with Toby, he found that was unable to shed any in this new form.
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It had been a month or two since Jim, Claire, Blinky, and Merlin had left for Jersey. After just a couple of days of being away from Arcadia, away from Toby, Jim felt lonely. Without the three's cheerful, lighthearted banter, he felt stressed, like everything was too much. He’d jump at the chance to see his boyfriend again, or even just hear his voice.
Due to their time zone differences, it was difficult to call unless it was the weekend, when school was out for Toby. Jim couldn’t do much during the day unless it was just small missions in the Jersey version of Trollmarket. He could only go out to do actual missions during the night. With the fact of his area turning night two hours earlier than Toby's, it left less than two hours to call or text one another, and that's still depending on if Toby or Jim had something to do.
Claire had begun noticing how.. Tired and a bit unlike himself Jim really was without him. Sure, she missed Toby too, he always brought so much cheer and joy, he could light up a room with just a few words. He de-stressed things when they really needed it. He was one of her closest friends, right alongside Jim, Mary, and Darci. But for Jim… it was clear this was highly upsetting him. She knew full well he had less free time than her, she had more opportunities to speak to Toby. Jim barely got any. It was a big shift, to go from talking everyday, almost all day, to suddenly only being able to *maybe* call for less than two hours a day.
So, Claire decided to take some initiative.
She started training to be able to make bigger portals without the shadow staff. She'd been able to manage small ones, about the same size of the ones when she first started using the staff originally (good for a baby mouse or an olive, but not much else.)
Jim watched attentively every day when Claire would practice. Generally during the daytime Every moment of it his heart would race in anticipation, growing ever so excited every time she got closer and closer to their shared goal. To see Toby in person again finally. But simultaneously he was ready to jump into motion and catch her if she passed out working too hard again. Sometimes he'd call Toby while she's practicing, Toby never thought to ask why she was practicing so hard though, so the topic was never really touched upon.
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Toby was having quite the difficult time in Arcadia. It felt as though nothing was ever going on. And that only made him feel more alone than he already did. 'Protect Arcadia!' Well there's clearly nothing to protect it from or else he wouldn't be sitting in his room most days, just playing video games and doing homework if he's particularly bored.
He missed the sound of his friends, his best friend, his lover. AAARRRGGHH!! was pleasant company, Toby saw him as a father figure after all, but his conversation skills weren't the greatest. Not that there's anything wrong with that! It's just that... Oh he didn't know, maybe it wasn't even that AAARRRGGHH!!! isn't one for much conversation. Maybe it was just he didn't know how to handle being without Jim for so long.
He didn't even know how he'd held up this long truly.
The first week, surprisingly, wasn't the worst so far. It was actually the second. He wasn't entirely sure why, maybe it was because he was in denial about it all, or maybe it was that it hadn't fully processed in his mind fully, or that he had gone numb for the first week after the emotional and physical labor of that day. But either way, it doesn't change how awful the final realization was.
It was when he was playing a video game, he couldn't remember which one, honestly the memories were just a little fuzzy, though recent. It was some Zelda game. He wanted to restart his save since it had been awhile since he last played it and needed a refresher. He was playing through the beginning of the game, getting readjusted to the mechanics, buttons, etc. It had been going smoothly until he had to leave his village for the greater good.
Toby couldn't help but see Jim in him. Sacrificing himself for others, thought at first unwanting of the mantle being given to him at first. How he would do just so, so much to just help or save a single life.
… but was he truly, forever destined to abandon his loved ones, to keep up this mantle, just like Link? In every timeline, in every possibility, no matter how many times you try to get around the game's coding, is it really that he always will leave for the greater good?
It seemed like it.
And that realization went off like a firework. One went off, and more and more kept coming, they were explosive, loud, uncomfortable, and made him feel sick to his stomach
He was lucky enough that AAARRRGGHH!!! was there to provide comfort to him. With AAARRRGGHH!!!'s comforting presence and knowledge on experiences and knowing how to deal with trauma responses.
Toby is brought back from his deep thinking by the vibration and noise of his phone going off continually. He blinked in surprise, readjusting his eyes to the world around him. He looks down and a smile quickly spreads across his face at the caller ID, Jim. It had been a week or so since their last call. He swiftly picks up the phone, smile wide as he greets the lovely face of Jim, with Claire in the back, not facing the camera, working on shadow portals it looks like.
"Hey Jimbo!"
He could tell just how excited Jim was to hear that nickname, his eyes had lit up and his ears perked up like a cat's would. There was a soft smile upon his face as he responded;
"Hey, Tobes."
The nickname always made his heart flutter, even when they were younger, even if they were simple, Toby wouldn't trade it or the feeling that came along with it for the world.
“I missed that.”
“Just that? Nothing else? Like... maybe your boyfriend?” His tone was teasing more than anything, he had that affectionate smirk that Toby had learned to love. Even in his (somewhat) new form, he was still the same old Jim. He may look different and be… A lot taller. Which made Toby just a little salty about it, considering there was already a big height difference. It made it more difficult to give affection, and it made Jim snicker when he tried to reach his face (the bastard).
“Nope, nothing else.” He joked along, both chuckling.
“But yeah.. I missed that too, I really hope we could see each other soon, Tobes… I just-- it's been so strange without you here. I don't know how to act, and it's been so hard adjusting to all of..
This,
at the same time." He motioned toward his whole body.
Jim sighs. "I just want to hug you again.. and never let go." Toby felt his cheeks warm ever so slightly, until Jim spoke again.
"Oh also, troll recipes are really boring to cook. I miss human food." He said this jokingly. Well, half jokingly at least.
Toby snorted in response.
"'Troll recipes are boring,' said no-one-ever, besides apparently Jim Lake Jr."
"I-" he tried to defend himself and failed. "Okay.. You win this time Tobias Domzalski."
"Ooh using my full name? How formal of you! What's the occasion?" The 'wha' sound was sharp to try and sound more fancy.
Jim smirked, "Calling the most important person in the world."
"And whomst might that be? Because as I recall it, you're the most important person in the world." Toby had a mischievous, shit eating grin on his face. He was definitely egging him on, trying to see if he could get Jim embarrassed purposefully.
Toby watched as Jim's cheeks went into a bit of a deeper blue. He tried to speak but all he could let out was "A-ah."
In the background, Claire looked over her shoulder, in the direction of Jim. She smiled fondly at the fact that they finally had time to call again. Claire left them to interact on their own, she could call Toby by herself later. So she resumed her training. She looked over at the medium-sized portal she had opened, now back to the size of an old boot. Claire strained to get it back to its normal size, making it bigger than it she could handle and--
She had fainted.
Toby's grin faded, he watched in horror as this played out, unable to help in any way.
Jim's ears perked up at the noise, quickly turning around to see Claire on the floor, unconscious. He gasped and sprung up quickly, rushing to her side, the phone fell to the floor-
And the line went dead.
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The rest of Toby's night was spent worrying over Claire and Jim. How was he supposed to know if they were alright? For all he knew Claire's condition revolving the shadow realm affecting her physical form could've gotten worse again. Or maybe Claire got a concussion of some sort from the fall?
The uncertainty of it all left him restless all night long. He couldn't focus on his work, he just stared at the paper mindlessly with his hands up against his forehead and temples, as if he had a headache. He bounced his leg up and down nonstop, anxiety enveloped him completely.
"Wingman. Need sleep. Should sleep." The green troll approached behind, placing a hand gently on Toby's head.
Toby turned to look at AAARRRGGHH!!!, his brows were furrowed in worry and eyes tight, looking down at him.
On the other hand, it was clear Toby was exhausted both physically and emotionally. His eye bags were prominent, he could feel his consciousness slipping away every now and again, but his mind refused to let him rest completely.
He couldn't.
Not without hearing back from Jim or Claire. Hell- even Blinky or Merlin for god's sake.
He heard AAARRRGGHH!!! sigh, and felt him gently pick him up and bring Toby to his bed. He wanted to protest but he just didn't have the energy.
"Try sleep. Feel better."
AAARRRGGHH!!! shimmed over to the light switch, flicking it with his left pinky, so as to not break it with the force of his dominant hand or bigger fingers. The light turned off and luckily, Toby fell asleep soon after…
Though, it was about 3:30 AM when he did.
AAARRRGGHH!!! decided it would be for the best that he called out of school the next day to rest.
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Jim's phone had broken when falling.
Luckily, they rushed Claire on the other hand to the nearest paramedic in the area. There were only some minor scratches, there were no head injuries or hair growing even more white.
Jim called Toby on Claire's phone, and the sigh of relief Toby had that afternoon was great enough to calm all his anxieties.
AAARRRGGHH!!! was glad to hear she was alright, and happy to see Toby feeling better.
Toby took the time from the day off to finish that homework from the day prior, there was little to no issue, he was able to focus for the most part, and the dreaded bouncing off his legs was gone. After that he played some video games to let out some of the previous day's steam. AAARRRGGHH!!! joined some rounds when the games weren't all too violent as well.
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Claire took it easy for the next couple days as well, but as soon as she felt rejuvenated she got back to work. The whole situation only made her more determined to work hard and practice her skills.
She even requested for Merlin's help, who for once, actually gave someone the light of day.
----
"Now, hold your arms out-- No, not like that!"
Merlin held out his own arms and rotated them slightly, so that both of his forearms were facing one another. His hands were both in the form of a fist, then he slowly but surely opened them up, his arms moving outwards from his body to mimic the portal getting bigger and bigger.
"Go on now, follow my movements."
"AH, right!" She scrambled to do so. Claire followed exactly as he had done.
"Good. Now hold the portal steady. You'll need to strain yourself to do so, but it gets easier the longer you do it. But you can't let yourself ease." He put down his own arms as he spoke, walking around her, his expression stern and his voice cold.
She glanced at him every so often, when caught she was lectured about how she needed to keep focus on the portal.
When an hour or so passed, it was time for a break. She was exhausted and her arms ached from holding up her arms for so long. Jim came along and brought her two cold bottles of water, one to drink and the other put against her forehead to cool her down.
She smiled, took one from him and immediately chugged it. Heavily breathing as she finished, she wiped her wet lips with her arm, then rubbed it on her clothing.
"Thanks, Jim. I owe you one." She chuckled slightly, raising the other bottle to her forehead, the condensation running down her face as if it were sweat or even tears.
He shook his head, hair bobbing along with the movement.
"Nah, it's really the least I could do. I should be the one thanking you , Claire."
She gave him a confused expression, head slightly tilted as she lowered the second bottle from her forehead.
"Well-- it's just that you're doing so much for us, you're practicing day in and day out just so we can see each other again. I can't help but feel like I've done only minor things to give back. I can't thank you enough for what you've already done for us… and I'm sure once we tell Tobes he'll feel the same."
Claire rolled her eyes, "You've done enough for me in the past, and it's not like I don't wanna see Tobes too! You can't hog him to yourself all the time." She placed down the water bottle, then leaned into Jim and placed her hands on each of his shoulders. "But really, I don't mind doing this. I'm not doing this because I'm being forced to or that I feel obligated to. I'm doing this because I care about you two, and want to see you happy. I know how difficult this entire thing has been for the both of you. I don't like how you being apart has made each other vulnerable. I only know bits and pieces of Toby's side but… I can truly tell he's struggling deeply, and I can see how it's made you tired. I want to help, Jim."
He could feel himself smiling sadly as she spoke, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. She slipped her arms down from his shoulders to around his chest. He let out a small "Thank you…" into her shoulder. Jim couldn't begin to express how much he wanted to start sobbing in that moment of comfort, and how thankful he truly was to her. So they just sat there for a while, both thankful to have the other as their friend.
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Two weeks of endless training went by, and Jim had finally got a new phone in that timespan.
Slightly off topic, but how the hell did Toby buy phones so often by the way? He bought them willy nilly! Almost every other week he had to get another phone! Jim would never understand that.
Anyways, during the time without a phone, Claire had let Jim borrow her's if she was training and he wanted to call Toby. It took a few days to get used to having to ask to call Toby, but he got the hang of it eventually.
Claire on the other hand was just at the edge of being ready to make a shadow portal, one big enough for two-to-three people. The day was growing closer to see Toby, and the both of them knew it. The days leading up, the two of them were practically jittery from excitement, a smile never left either of their faces for very long.
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Toby had quickly noticed something was up, but he couldn't tell what. He had even asked what they were so excited about, and they both dodged the question! It was beginning to get a little suspicious to him, though he couldn't place exactly why he felt that way.
It's not like it was a bad thing that they were excited. Maybe it was that there was a mission they were excited to go on? Or they had a plan to go do something?
Either way it didn't really matter all that much.
But dodging the question was still strange to him.
The first instance was with Jim;
"What's with your goofy grin?" Toby laughed as he asked, Jim only smiled wider.
"Just excited 'bout somethin' is all."
"Oh? About what?"
"It's nothing, dont worry about it, Tobes."
Toby had decided at the time to not to pry any more about it with Jim, he was just happy that he was excited. It was just good to see his spirits up, even if it was to this extent (Toby was pretty sure he had seen a tail bobbing back and fourth like a cat, it was cute.)
And the second was Claire;
"Claire-Bear-Stare! What happened to your usual glare? Now your face has a big dorky grin!"
She playfully gave him the 'Claire-Bear-Stare' he had just mentioned before, chuckling and once again returning to said dorky grin.
"I'm just happy, you're the dork here, mister. I'm just minding my own business over here, I dunno 'bout you."
He rolled his eyes good-naturedly in response, "Yeah, yeah, what're you so excited about though? Got a cool mission coming up soon or…?"
"Oh, nothing much, don't worry about it."
The fact that they had both told him to ""not worry about it"" was just a liiiiiittle bit off-putting, but maybe he was just thinking too deep into it.
But in the back of his head, maybe, just maybe, he was hoping it was something. That they were keeping something a surprise. He knew that was just wishful thinking though, so that would just stay in the back of his head, not giving it the light of day.
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Jim and Claire were aware that he was onto them, or at the very least suspicious of them. So they became very careful with their wording. Jim was always careful, and Claire was always very particular with words, so neither of such was really out of the ordinary with them.
The day they had chosen to arrive was only moments away. The entire day Jim had been barely able to control his joy from bursting out the seams. The hour before was where his tail was swinging back and forth like mad. Claire just smiled gently at seeing him so excited.
The hour had arrived and both their hearts were pounding in their own respective chests. She opened up the portal to Toby's general area and peeked her head through to scope out the area he was in, it was just his bedroom. The portal was by his bed, and he was sitting at his desk near the TV, meanwhile AAARRRGGHH was playing Go-Go-Sushi. He sniffed and turned his head, he opened his mouth to say something, but Claire shook her head quickly, put her index finger over her mouth, and mouthed "Shhh!". He obliged, and continued as he was.
It appeared like Toby was only ""working"" on that night's homework, he had a lamp turned on beside him, the light facing down at the paper like a spotlight. He had the end of his pencil in his mouth, chewing lightly at it as he stared intensely. He tapped at the wooden desk with his fingers, methodically making up a tune as he went instead of working.
Claire peeked back through to the side with Jim, she waved him through and quietly said;
"C'mon, c'mon!"
He nodded and gave her a toothy smile, filled with uttermost joy and nervousness.
Claire went in first, with Jim following behind shortly, they quietly walked (practically tip-toed) across the familiar room. Jim took everything in, the smell, the atmosphere, the sounds, everything. It all was just so pleasantly intimate.
They came up behind Toby, and watched for a few moments, they could tell he was struggling with the work. The two looked over at one another and smiled. They had decided previous to this that Jim should be the person to tap Toby, and so, he did just that.
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Toby had not expected to be tapped on the shoulder. The tap was cold, frigid even. He screeched from startlement, but quickly realized it was probably AAARRRGGHH!!!. He sighed before he spoke,
"Jesus, AAARRRGGHH!!!, you scared me half to death! I thought I told you to not bother me whe--"
As he turned and looked up, his breathing hitched. One usually might find this encounter frightening, a troll towering above them in their own bedroom. But this troll was one he knew, the one he loved with all his heart.
"Do you need some help?" The troll asked, smiling with his mouth slightly agape, just enough to see the sharp teeth in there.
Toby just stared in awe, unable to fully believe that he was there, standing right in front of him. He slowly stood up from his desk, he then squinted his eyes slightly to get a better look.
"...Jim?" He whispered, mostly to himself. He hesitated, but reached up to touch the other's face, he took a deep breath as Jim lowered himself to help reach better.
He felt his face, it was still the oval shape he remembered, it was still cold. Jim had always for some odd reason had a low body heat, and now being a troll it was even more frigid than prior.
He looked into the troll's eyes, those bright, piercing blue eyes he always found so easy to get lost in. He slipped one of his hands into the hair, it was the same texture, soft but with a slightly greasy tinge.
He scanned across the blue troll's face, once again finding himself staring into those eyes. Toby smiled as all the recognition finally settled in, he let out a single laugh before he shouted;
"It's you! It-- it's really you!" He then embraced him with so much force that they both fell over onto the carpet, they landed with a loud "THUD." They both began laughing hysterically, wrapping their arms around one another. Toby showered Jim in kisses and Jim could barely control himself from doing the same to his lover.
Claire watched as this all played out, smiling warmly as the two boys interacted. She looked over to AAARRRGGHH!!! who was doing the same, Go-Go-Sushi having been forgotten. She sat down with him, waiting for the moment Toby realized she was there too. She wasn't mad, not at all, she just found it entertaining. The smile lingered on her face for the rest of the night.
Toby and Jim sat up, though Jim still held onto Toby with all his might.
"What's that about?"
"I said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm going to hug you and never let go."
Toby snorted, highly amused. "You realize how ridiculous that sounds, right, Jim?"
"Uh-huh. But it doesn't matter, because I'm still doing it."
He rolled his eyes, but a small grin was plastered on his face. He placed his head up over Jim's own. Toby spotted Claire and AAARRRGGHH!!!, he gestured for them to come over to join the hug.
Claire shook her head, protesting, but AAARRRGGHH!!! grabbed her and placed her down with the others. Toby wrapped his free arm around Claire. He looked at her for a few moments before realization hit him like a bus,
"Claire did you… is this why you were training so much?"
She chuckled. "You can't take all the credit for me wanting to train so much, it was for Jim too. Along with most likely needing it for missions and such.
She watched as his eyes began to wet with gratitude, she only gestured back over to Jim, who had begun purring. They both snickered, and the three of them stayed there until the early hours of the morning, just before the sun came up in California. But not until Toby and Jim shared another kiss, this time, not as teary eyed as their last departure.
Jim promised the next time they saw each other, it would be to tour him around the Jersey Trollmarket, and that promise was kept.