Chapter Text
Teh is not sure if it is him or if it is because this particular club is shitty, but he doesn’t think he likes clubbing. The speakers are booming out an even more annoying EDM remix of some top 40 song that he had never bothered learning the artist of, and the floor feels suspiciously sticky under the sole of his shoes - his white shoes that he’s probably gonna have to wash tomorrow.
Teh leans out of his way for yet another drunk girl with too much perfume and too perfect of a face, red lipstick still holding strong even if her consciousness certainly is not. It’s a little strange sometimes, being around the city people, as he’d like to call them. He is used to seeing them all over Instagram - the celebrities, the influencers, the socialites that 15 years old Teh had followed because he thought they were so cool and ideal - he still kind of thinks the same, to be honest. Like they are something out of an American movie or a kpop music video with their colourful hair and strange fashions that always seem to work on them.
It is not that Teh does not like them or thinks they are better than him or anything like that. He just finds it … fascinating. He grew up a little sheltered, he thinks. Hoon never really was the kind of person who cared about things like these - fashion or fancy foods or branded items or being popular, and out of all his friends, Oh-Aew probably is the one who is closest to an Instagram influencer type of person - with his number of followers and his almost instinctual knowledge in how to look good in front of a camera. (Maybe Teh should learn how to pose for photos from him again - this time, in seriousness. He went to the free headshot service that his Uni provides for the students’ portfolio and Khim said he needs to work on his camera skills.)
But still, even Oh is still a country boy at heart like Teh, and Teh almost smiles, remembering Oh-Aew’s recount of his first clubbing experience last month, when he tagged along with his new group of friends to a club opening where, Oh said and Teh quoted, saw too many beautiful people that he thought that was what heaven must be liked. Teh took a little offence because technically, he should be the most beautiful person Oh had ever met, right? Oh had laughed at that, and said no, Teh isn’t (which …. rude ...), but he still loved Teh despite that. Teh would have gone into one of his petulant moods at that, but they had sex right after so he forgot to be pretend-mad.
However, as he makes his way through this club on the 62nd floor of a very fancy hotel, Teh is realising the truth in Oh’s words. He seems to be among people who are beautiful and rich and probably could eat a boy like him for breakfast. They just seem to come from a different world and Teh, actually, is starting to feel a little out of place in his t-shirt and jeans. At least he is wearing his good jacket.
“Teh!”
Teh looks ahead to see Oh at one of the tables near the window, waving at him with a smile so bright it puts the neon lights strobing above his head to shame. Teh waves back at him, pushes through more crowds of people with more overwhelming perfumes and a lot of bare skin, and finally reaches to the small table where his boyfriend climbs over a guy in purplish hair to get to him.
“You made it!” Oh smiles, hands sneaking around Teh’s waist and Teh feels a little bit more composed - the smell of Oh’s shampoo (albeit a little murkier than he remembers due to the mix of smoke and alcohol) calming him down a notch.
“Of course.” Teh smiles back, puts a light kiss on Oh’s forehead and waves at the four guys checking him out. “Told you I would, didn’t I?”
“You’ve just been so busy with the drama club so I wasn’t sure.” Oh says, taking his hand. “Auu, move over a bit.”
And Oh said it casually, a mere observation rather than an accusation, but Teh still felt the familiar guilt in the pit of his stomach. He really has been busy as the contest draws closer, and that is even with his workload being in the “light” range compared to other members of the cast. Top and Khim, and sometimes Jai, always leave their club room very last and they are always already there before Teh arrives in the morning. Khim specifically said something about not scaring the freshie off and always pushes Teh to leave early and cuts him slack when he seems to be overwhelmed.
But even with that, Teh is somehow still always so busy with his coursework and the club. He simultaneously feels like not a good boyfriend to Oh, not being able to give him enough time and attention, and also like a slacking crew member, who cannot commit as much as others are to this play. It sometimes feels like he is hanging on by a thread and he’s been in Uni for a grand total of six months.
Jai once told him that he needs to stop being a perfectionist in the things that don’t matter because he found Teh in the library at 11 in the night, studying the entire lecture deck for a 10% quiz the next day.
“Look, I am saying this to you because I know a person like me when I see one, and I don’t want you to burn yourself out like I did before figuring things out.” Jai had said that night, after almost physically dragging Teh out of the library and onto the green campus for a walk. “University is not just about learning theoretical things. It’s also about learning to manage yourself, your time. How to balance different things in your life.”
“Are you saying my 5 professors decide to have their midterm quizzes and presentations at the same time so I can learn how to do work-life balance better?”
“No, they did it to ruin your life actually.” Jai had said, and Teh remembered bursting out laughing at that, because it really did feel like it at that time.
“Look, all I am saying is, this is not high school anymore. You are doing, and you are expected to be doing a lot of different things, like you are gonna have to for the rest of your life. So, you need to start learning to prioritise. I am not saying you should flank your quiz but is it really worth it to be taking meticulous notes and memorizing the exact facts and figures for a 10% quiz that you are taking in 9 hours when you have a full day tomorrow? Just … give the materials a read to have an understanding of things, then go back and get some sleep.”
Teh did, and he didn’t exactly ace that quiz, but given his grades in other heavier components like the project, he expects at the very least an A (or maybe an A- if he is really unlucky) for this course at the end of term, so he guesses the world didn’t crash and burn, and his academic career is not yet over because he didn’t memorise the exact wording of some self-examining performance theory.
So, when Oh-Aew asked if Teh would like to come meet his friends since they are celebrating one of the guys’ birthday at a club downtown, despite having an unfinished report to write, Teh said yes, because he is learning to prioritise, and Oh is somewhere in the high end of his priority list.
Plus, he wanted to meet Oh’s new friends in person instead of through their instagrams. Teh is … somewhat of a possessive person, he is willing to admit. He had never particularly liked Oh paying more attention to someone else, and that was back when they were in Grade 7 and he didn’t even know that it is possible to like a guy. But at the same time, Oh is all alone in a new place, a new city with Teh being a good hour away from him most of the day, and that is kind of Teh’s fault from the start. And for someone as cordial and outgoing as Oh, it must have been really hard. Teh could feel the loneliness and gloominess hanging over Oh’s head during their earlier days here, so he is at least glad that Oh had found a group of people he can be comfortable with and hang around when Teh can’t be there for him.
But they also make Teh feel so damn insecure even before he meets them in person.
Here’s the thing about Anantasart. It’s a rich-kids school. His mom had assured him that they could afford the school fees, and he knows that he can get some financial assistance with his portfolio (before the entire Oh-Aew debacle happened), which is why he was comfortable applying to Anantasart, but he had seen the programs they offered (hell, they are the only Performance Arts school in Bangkok that had overseas exchange programs with connection to actual filming sets), the expensive-looking campus, and the kind of people who attended the school. It’s the exact kind of people who can afford a table at a club like this and drive Porsches at 19. The exact kind of people who are staring down at him with curiosity in their eyes right now.
“Stop staring at him!” Oh-Aew, ever Teh’s saving grace, says. “It’s not like you haven’t seen his face before.”
“Just … trying to size him up, you know.” One of the guys, Mangpong, Teh thinks, says. “Make sure he’s good enough for our friend.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one sizing you guys up?” Teh raises an eyebrow. “Given that I knew him way before you did. Like, years before, actually.”
Oh-Aew’s grip on Teh’s hand tightens, and maybe he is being a little rude, but he also thinks that people that had known Oh-Aew for roughly half a year shouldn’t have any say about Teh.
Still, Teh doesn’t feel like making this atmosphere more awkward than necessary. “I’m just kidding, guys. Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s fine. It’s fine.” Auu waves a hand from where he had been pushed to the end of the couch to make space for Teh and Oh. “Someone got to put Mangpong in his place once in a while. Anyway, Teh, welcome to my birthday. What’s your poison? Vodka? Ram? This place makes a mean Old Fashioned if you are into whiskey.”
“Ah … I don’t really drink.” Teh says. “I don’t like the taste or the aftermath actually.”
Teh got drunk on Hoon’s hidden Vodka bottle when he was 14 and it was an unpleasant experience all around, but the thing had Teh had hated the most was his own self-control that he can feel slipping away with every passing second when he’s drunk. “But, happy birthday man.”
“That’s fine. Here, we have some extra soda.” The guy sitting opposite of Teh says. Q, Teh remembers from IG and Oh-Aew’s multiple recounts about how awesome and kind this dude is. He does look kind, Teh thinks bitterly. “I’m not drinking either since I am DD for the night so you can suffer with me when these four got out of hand.”
“You are drinking?” Teh turns to ask Oh, whose hand is stirring the little straw in the glass in front of him stills.
“Yeah.” Oh furrows his brow. “Was I not supposed to?”
“Of course not,” Teh shakes his head. “Just … surprised. You didn’t like it when we got you your first beer over the summer.”
“That’s because beer sucks.” Oh says decidedly. “It tastes like carbonated rainwater. This is sweet. Here, try some.”
“Oh … I don’t…”
“Please,” Oh puts his chin on Teh’s shoulder, puppy eyes blinking with a pouty mouth for extra effectiveness, and Teh sighs before taking a sip out of Oh’s glass. It is sweet, but the hidden layer of alcohol also hits him even through the tiny sip.
“Shit. That’s strong.”
“We are paying close to a thousand bahts for these cocktails here. They’d better be.” Mangpong says and Teh almost chokes at the price. He could eat dinner for 3 days with a thousand bahts. “Anyway, since Teh’s here, let’s get back on the floor. Oh thought you wouldn’t find our table if we were out there.”
“I don’t … really dance.”
“Neither do I,” Oh stands up and grabs Teh’s hand with him. “ … but it’d be fun, Teh. I promise.”
Teh tries to get out of it a few more times, scared of making a fool out of himself, but Oh is persistent, using all the weapons in his arsenal to his advantage (including a whispered promise to do that one thing with his tongue that Teh really likes), and Teh gives up eventually, letting himself be dragged onto the crowded dance floor.
“If it helps,” Oh whispers into his ear, their bodies flushed against each other amidst the faceless crowd. “Just think of it as acting. It’s just a role - maybe some fancy pants killing it on the dance floor with your moves.”
Teh laughs. “Nobody in their right mind would cast me in a role that requires dancing.”
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Oh says, pressing his forehead to Teh’s. “You haven’t stepped on me yet, have you?”
“It’s been like 3 seconds. Give it time.” Teh raises his eyebrows. “Alright, let’s just say I am some rich teenager with too much money to spare and maybe some tragic backstory with daddy issues, wasting his nights away in Bangkok’s richest clubs.”
“Classic angsty hero.” Oh scrunches his nose. “I like that. What about me then?”
“Hmm.” Teh pretends to think. “Some down-on-luck worker from my dad’s company who I accidentally ran over with my million dollar car, and who now I am obsessed with?”
Oh slaps him in the shoulder. “So, not only am I poor but I also had to get run over by a car. Tell me how you really feel about me, Teh.”
“You wanted a classic story.” Teh laughs. “What’s more classic than that? The quintessential story of a rich hero falling for someone poor but hard-working and upstanding.”
“Why do I have to be the poor one?” Oh pouts.
“Well, clearly because I am more handsome.” Teh answers and Oh slaps him again.
The music shifts into something more anthem-y, a Korean song Teh had heard Oh playing around his condo and apparently knows the lyrics to, with the way he is yelling at all the right moments, and Teh succumbs to having Oh-Aew just grab Teh by the hands and jump around half in beat to the strobing lights above their heads.
Somewhere from the ceiling, a few preloaded canons burst, throwing mist and glitter strings down onto the dancing crowd. Oh looks up, trying to catch a few strings in his hand, pure joy radiating out of his face and Teh thinks Oh-Aew is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.
Oh turns to him when things settle down a bit, glitter strings stuck in his hair and sweaty face. Teh reaches his hand out to wipe the ones from his face.
“Having fun?”
“Aren’t you?” Oh scrunches his nose and asks.
And it really isn’t Teh’s scene, really. He has never been good being around too many people or particularly enjoyed this type of partying, but Oh is having fun and that’s good enough for him.
“I’m having fun if you are.” Teh answers, and Oh giggles before stumbling a little into Teh’s arms.
“Are you alright? Drunk?”
“I’m fine, mom.” Oh rolls his eyes and dramatically falls into Teh’s chest. “Maybe I just want my big strong boyfriend to hold me.”
“Your big strong boyfriend weighs literally 2kg more than you.”
“Sounds good enough for me.” Oh smiles up at him. “Teh.”
“Hmm?”
“I think I like this city.”
“Do you?” Teh raises an eyebrow.
“Imm.” Oh murmurs, burrowing his face in Teh’s neck. “At first, I don’t mind it because you are here too and I like any place that you exist in. But I think I like being here now. I don’t hate the noise or the heat that much anymore. And I like my friends. I like the weird fusion food here, and I like dressing up and going out to drink overpriced cocktails with tiny little umbrellas while looking at the ridiculously tall buildings outside. It makes me feel big and small at the same time.”
“Alright. You are drunk.” Teh grunts, shifting his hands to wrap more securely around Oh’s waist. “I’m glad you are enjoying Bangkok now though. I like seeing you happy.”
“And I like … you.” Oh giggles, biting the soft flesh of Teh’s neck. “Did you know that?”
“Nah, no idea at all. Wow. What a revelation.” Teh says and Oh’s bites down on his neck harder, which oww.
“You are right though. I am happy.” Oh says, putting soft kitten-ish kisses onto the skin where he just bit Teh. “Are you happy, Teh?”
“I … am.” Teh answers. “Yeah, I am happy.” Sure, he hasn’t gotten more than 5 hours of sleep for the past week and he wasn’t even over at Oh’s place - he just had too many things to do. And half of the time, he feels like he is all over the place, the familiar control he always had had over his life slipping away with every single day that he steps into adulthood, and he is just playing catch up always, like he wouldn’t be able to start again if he ever stops.
And maybe he is way too fucking young to be having a mid-life crisis.
But Teh thinks he is happy. Even if he is tired, even if he sometimes feels like dropping everything and running back to mom’s home, he is happy. He is happy when the classes that he is in talk about things that he had wanted to learn since he was a child. He is happy to be busy for an entire evening and then see the group of audience enjoy and be immersed in a play that he had helped bring to life. He is happy when Oh-Aew opens the door of his condo to find Teh on his doorstep, his face always breaking out into the biggest smile possible whenever he sees Teh.
He is happy.
“Let’s always be happy.” Oh says, somehow flushing their bodies closer, like he is trying to absorb himself into Teh, like every millimeter apart between their bodies is a forbidden cause. “Can we do that?”
“Yeah,” Teh nods, sniffing the scent of Oh’s into his brain, implants it right in his memory so he can always remember what it feels like. “Let’s.”