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Eri was very shy, so it wasn't surprising that she had a clear preference towards the students of 2A who were more happy going and screamed friendliness, with the sole exception of Bakugou, whom Eri was attached to for what seemed to be no reason at all. Perhaps it was his amazing food, but as far as Shouta knew, only Kirishima and Midoriya knew that Bakugou was the dorm's mysterious food supplier, and those two weren't the type to go around gossiping about it.
(Also, she kept referring to him as the "Food Fairy," so even if the class did know, Shouta didn't think they'd have the heart to tell her that it was only Bakugou and not some mystical being.)
Bakugou, whether he admitted it or not, was good with kids, and seemed to have developed an favoritism towards Eri, even over his own boyfriend (which Kirishima didn’t seem to mind at all, because who wouldn’t choose Eri over everything else?), so perhaps it shouldn’t’ve been so surprising that Eri slowly became a miniature Bakugou. But it was.
And this is the story of how it happened.
The first wave was rather subtle. The earliest signs of "corruption" started out on a Monday afternoon during training. Shouta had brought Eri in to watch 2A train, mostly because she’d been asking for weeks to watch “Deku-kun do the cool moves he saved me with.” But she seems to lose interest in Midoriya’s training pretty quickly - and Shouta realizes that it’s because she’s being drawn in by Bakugou and Kirishima’s wild sparring session.
There’s no telling what the two of them will do when they pair up - the wildest of wildcards, one might say. Today, though, Bakugou's shooting full powered AP shots at Kirishima, who appears to be mostly unphased, skin hardened into rocky edges. They're both grinning widely, and while Shouta can't hear exactly what they're saying from where he's standing, it's clear that they're yelling things to egg each other on.
Eri's fascinated. She's mimicking the poses the two make, and when they get home that night, Shouta's almost positive Eri wants to be either Bakugou or Kirishima for Halloween.
He's proven correct when she wakes him up the next morning, waving a crayon drawing of herself and Bakugou standing next to each other, dressed identically, in his face.
Shouta sighs.
Eri gets her costume. Bakugou looks surprised when Eri shows up at the 2A halloween party looking like him, and Kirishima snaps so many photos Shouta's surprised he doesn't run out of storage space.
The rest of the class also thinks it's adorable. Ashido dubs it the Baku-fication of Eri, and the rest of the class is quick to agree. Midoriya thinks it's so cute that he cries.
Bakugou yells at him for it and it starts a train reaction, which in summary is quite literally a disaster. A couch ends up snapped in half and floating and someone (Todoroki) almost burns down the kitchen, which causes Bakugou to yell at him, which causes another train reaction, and, well, you get the idea.
It ends when Eri sadly walks up to Bakugou and asks if he doesn't like the costume, to which Bakugou changes personalities so fast even Kirishima is caught off guard. One second he’s yelling at Kaminari for something trivial, and the next he’s lifting Eri off the ground and telling her that he loves her costume and that she looks great.
Eri beams happily.
Midoriya looks ready to cry again and Kirishima snaps about a thousand more photos.
And if anyone notices that Shouta saves every single photo Kirishima sends to the class chat, well, that was none of their business.
The first time Eri demands Bakugou to sit up properly so she can sit in his lap while the class played games on the WII, the room was frozen. Even Bakugou himself appeared shocked, which almost never happened. In fact, Shouta was pretty sure the only time anyone had ever seen Bakugou shocked was when Kirishima had kissed him at the end-of-year party last year. But that was a story for another time. The point was, everyone was frozen and only Eri seemed unphased.
"Let me sit in your lap," She repeated, arms crossed and looking ready to fight God in order to get her way. Kirishima was the first to regain his posture, biting his lip to hold back a giggle. Bakugou was opening and closing his mouth like a fish, and Shouta would've laughed too, had the situation not been so bizarre.
Eventually, Bakugou shut his mouth and collected himself, adjusting his posture so Eri could comfortably sit in his lap. To the left, Midoriya looked ready to pass out. Uraraka seemed torn between laughing and crying, while Kaminari just blinked momentarily at the situation before going back to arguing with Sero about why super smash bros was a better game than mario kart.
"Your eyes are pretty," Eri announces halfway through a mario kart game, breaking the intense atmosphere. However, Bakugou's focus doesn't drop as he lifts an eyebrow and says, "Yeah? Why's that, ya little squirt?"
"They're super red," Eri says, face serious. "And they sparkle."
"Like diamonds in the sunlight," Kirishima adds from beside them.
"That's kinda gay, Ei."
"Says you, the local gay disaster," Kirishima teases.
"No, that's Roki," Eri says, interrupting the two. Bakugou actually turns to look at her in surprise while Kirishima and the rest of the class burst out into laughter.
Todoroki nods solemnly. "I am a gay disaster, true."
That causes more uproar. Shouta isn't sure how to feel. On one hand, Eri seemed to be coming out of her shell, but on the other hand, she was being influenced heavily by 2A's behavior.
Which, technically speaking, there was nothing wrong with that, but when that behavior somehow made them a magnet for villains and trouble, one could see why Shouta wasn't too keen on having that kind of luck passed onto her.
Bakugou being a chair for Eri becomes normal over the weeks, and by the third week, Eri doesn't even have to ask - Bakugou is already there, lap open and unoccupied.
Eri becomes more demanding. It probably wouldn't have happened, Shouta thinks, if his students weren't so kind and self-sacrificing. Eri was a little spoiled here, after all, both by the students and the teachers.
(Okay, maybe she was spoiled a lot. Sue him - he had a soft spot for her, okay?)
The second wave comes more abruptly and is in no way subtle at all.
It's swearing, to put it bluntly. (It was bound to happen eventually, but that didn't mean Shouta was any less disappointed.)
Shouta actually doesn't get a chance to witness the first time it happens first hand - in fact, he finds out about it through the class group chat.
He’d left Eri in the (mostly) capable hands of 2A while he went and ran errands, but that was a mistake, because when his phone starts vibrating like crazy, someone is either dying or there’s something so stupid happening that even God can’t comprehend it.
Or it’s both. With 2A, and being a teacher at a top hero school, anything was possible.
Sighing, Shouta pauses his debate about what kind of milk to get to check why his phone is blowing up.
the better pikachu: GUYS THE GRAETEST ARUGMENT IN HISTORY IS OGIN DONW RIGTH NWO IN THE KTICHSNE IM CRYING
the better shark: IM SOBBJNG I CNAT BRYEHAE I CABT SEE THROUGH NY TEARS OF LAUFHETR
floaty bitch: is kiri okay what's happening what is this “greatest argument in history” about
the better pikachu: HSLDKGFJQOIFJDS OKAY OKYA WAIT ONE SEC IL SEND A VIEDO CLPI
the better pikachu: [sent video]
The video starts off shaky before it focuses on Bakugou and Eri arguing in the kitchen. Bakugou is wearing a black apron with the words FIGHT THE COOK, BITCH printed on it, and Eri is holding a butterknife threateningly in her right hand. Just barely in frame is a collection of red hair, vibrating aggressively. It's easy to tell that it belongs to Kirishima.
The argument is clearly heated, but that's not what seems to be hilarious. It's the choice of words being used by the two arguing.
"Eat shit, Kacchan!" Eri screams. To the side, Kirishima collapses into another fit of laughter. Bakugou doesn’t look phased as he shakes a ladle at her, screaming right back, “I will not eat shit, you little weasel! And don’t call me Kacchan!”
“You deserve to eat shit! Who puts a fuck ton of spice in their food?! It doesn’t even taste that good!”
“You will not question my personal food preferences when it’s my food has every extra in this fucking hellhole praying to the gods above!”
“No, it’s the Food Fairy’s food that has everyone praying to the gods!” Eri sticks her tongue out. “Bitch!”
Kirishima’s laughing so hard he looks ready to fall over and die. Bakugou looks livid, but his eyes are shining with amusement. “I’m the fucking Food Fairy, squirt! God, how can you be so attached to not just me but fucking Deku too and not know that?!”
“I don’t believe you! The Food Fairy doesn’t dump half a cup of red pepper flakes on their food!”
“Okay, fine! What’s something you want to eat right now? I’ll make it for you and prove that I’m the Food Fairy!”
“Takoyaki!” Eri yells.
The video cuts.
floaty bitch: im-
boneless bitch: is
boneless bitch: is that actually Kacchan and Eri or do my eyes deceive me
the better pikachu: no that’s definitely boom boom man and Eri our beloved
boneless bitch: I see
the better bubblegum: NOO BLASTY’S CORRUPTED HER
the better spiderman: @the better grenade I can’t believe you’ve done this
nonexistent: I refuse to believe that actually happened
the better purple bitch: that Eri has the pure personality of Bakugou and that scares me more than disappointed™ dadzawa face
the better purple bitch: and nothing scares me more than the disappointed™ dadzawa face
nonexistent: so I should be scared
the better purple bitch: yes
frog bitch: shinsou: I fear no man but that thing… that thing scares me
the better bubblegum: LMAOOOOO TRUE
the better purple bitch: you're not wrong
daddy bitch: so does that mean we get takoyaki
the better pikachu: you and your one track mind I swear
the better pikachu: but yeah probably
the better bubblegum: WAIT A MINUTE
the better bubblegum: WAIT SO BAKUGOU IS THE PERSON WHOS BEEN PROVIDING BREAKFAST EVERYDAY????????
boneless bitch: yes
the better shark: yup
floaty bitch: I've been eating gremlin food this entire time????
floaty bitch: my food savior is our local pomeranian????????
the better spiderman: I mean it's good shit thooooo
the better purple bitch: yes I can agree that the food is heavenly but can we go back to the fact that my sister is cussing her heart out and is arguing with fucking bakugou and somehow not dying
the better pikachu: it's Eri
the better pikachu: if she told me to sleep I would sleep
the better pikachu: and I never sleep
the better shark: dont tell him I said this but Kat totally has a soft spot for kids
daddy bitch: can confirm he was a rather violent type of gentle with the kids from that one provisional license supplementary lesson last year that we had to take after we failed the original provisional license exam
premium extendable ears: why were you so specific about that
premium extendable ears: you could've just said "from the supplementary lessons last year"
daddy bitch: I had to be specific just in case bakuhoe came in and tried to pretend it was a different supplementary lesson that he wasn't at
nonexistent: ooo are we bringing the old bitchkugou nicknames back
the better bubblegum: BITCHKUGOU LMAO
the better bubblegum: bakabitch is still my favorite
the better shark: mines probably bakubabe but I'm biased soooooo
the better spiderman: yeah kiri you're not allowed in this conversation you gay rock
the better shark: what if I said barkugou is my second favorite
the better spiderman: you've been pardoned come join
the better purple bitch: guys my sister?? still lowkey possessed by bakugous personality? hello???????
Shouta slowly closed the chat, feeling a migraine building. He'd deal with this when he actually got back to the dorms.
God, what had he done to deserve this?
Shouta misses the second time Eri has a cussing argument with Bakugou. And the third. And the fourth. And… Well, you get the idea. He finds out about all of those through the group chat as well. He never addresses it - it'd be pointless, anyway. If it involved Bakugou, any and all efforts were in vain.
But eventually, he gets to witness it. And Shouta decides that he should've never signed with UA to be a teacher all those years ago.
Shouta and Eri are walking to the dorms on a rather peaceful, sunny afternoon. Perhaps a little too peaceful, but at this point in life, Shouta was too tired to care.
"Hey, fuckwad!" Eri screams the second she sees Bakugou.
…On second thought, maybe he should. Shouta watches in fascinated horror as Eri sprints headfirst at Bakugou, yelling "CATCH ME!"
"Wow, no, wait, squirt, I'm holding tea-!"
Eri doesn't stop. Shouta feels the world slow down as Bakugou panics and drops his mug, just in time for Eri to safely dive into his arms.
"You're cleaning that up," Bakugou mutters grumpily, but there's no malice in his tone. Eri giggles as Kirishima appears from around the corner, concern etched on his face.
"Baby, you okay? I heard something drop- Oh, hi, sensei! Eri! Hi!”
Eri smiles brightly. “Hi!”
Shouta Aizawa, age 31, gay, married, offically father of two, unofficially father of twenty-one, underground pro hero, and UA teacher, wants to go home.
"Hello, Kirishima," He greets as Bakugou's ears go pink. Eri, like the gremlin-in-training she is, notices.
"Fuckwad, your ears are going red."
"SHUT UP!"
"Why are they going red?"
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"Aww, Kats, are you blushing?” Kirishima teases.
"I AM NOT!" Bakugou furiously denies, the red now spreading over his face doing everything but support his statement.
Shouta really, really wants to go home.
“Fuckwad, why are you lying?”
Shouta interrupts them. “Okay, okay, Eri, why are you calling Bakugou ‘fuckwad’?”
“It’s his nickname,” Eri states seriously. Bakugou, who’s holding Eri on his hip now, similarly to how a mother would hold a child, looks ready to drop Eri and fucking book it out of there. Shouta doesn’t blame him. If he was in Bakugou’s shoes, he would’ve already been hiding in a bathroom stall half a country away.
“Oh,” Shouta says. “I see. I see."
He doesn't think he's ever sounded more disappointed.
Kirishima is clearly the only person who thinks this situation is amusing, because he's biting his lip and ducking his head to try and hide the laughter threatening to escape past his lips. Shouta wants to put him in detention for a month, but that would be very petty of him and Shouta had promised Nezu at the start of the year that he wouldn't do things out of pettiness.
"Alright," Shouta says, because he really doesn't have any other choice but to stay. "Let's head inside, shall we?"
Then, as an afterthought, he addresses Bakugou and asks, "Why were you drinking tea outside?"
Bakugou almost does drop Eri right then, sputtering as he tries to explain himself. Kirishima bursts out laughing, and for the next five minutes, Shouta just stands in confusion as the two dissolve into giggly (Kirishima) and very loud (Bakugou) chatter.
Shouta desperately wants to go home. God, He thinks. Please smite me down.
“Uh,” Mirio says, clearly concerned. “Sir, is that- should we stop them?”
“Huh?” Shouta looks up, noticing Mirio staring at Bakugou and Eri yelling at each other (again). “Oh, them. No, it’s fine. This happens like twelve times a week.”
“Oh,” Mirio says. He stares at them for a second longer before turning around stiffly and leaving the room.
Shouta goes back to his coffee. Miro would get used to it.
Shouta decides that he’s perfectly fine with the Baku-fication of Eri when he walks in on him at 3 A.M. cradling Eri, who has puffy red eyes and had clearly been crying. Bakugou flushes red and shushes him when he notices Shouta, but he doesn't move from his position. Shouta tilts his head and nods at him, silently asking for an explanation.
“She had a nightmare,” Bakugou whispers over Eri’s head. “Came downstairs because she heard me cooking and ended up having a panic attack. ‘M not sure why.”
“How long have you been sitting like this?”
Bakugou shrugs. “Not sure. An hour, maybe? She came down around two, so however long it's been since then."
Shouta nods, sitting down next to him. "And you? Why were you up?"
Bakugou grumbles and looks away. Eventually, he says, "...Couldn't sleep. Didn't wanna bother Ei."
Though loud and cocky, bold and confident, Bakugou was also just as kind and soft, vulnerable. Lots of people misunderstood him - hell, even Shouta himself had been like that at the start. But here he was, unmoved, cradling an 8-year old girl at 3 in the morning because he wasn’t just the hard exterior most knew him for.
Shouta’s not sure what to say, so he settles on the first thing that comes to his mind. “Eri adores you, you know.”
Bakugou nods. He seems sleepy as well, staying awake solely for Eri’s sake.
There’s some comfortable silence before Bakugou speaks up. “Never thought she’d like me, since she always hung around people like Deku and Senpai.” There's a pause, before he says even more quietly, almost like he doesn’t want Shouta to hear, “Honestly thought I would’ve reminded her too much of her past for her to even come near me.”
“You’re a good kid, Bakugou.”
Bakugou smiles. It’s miniscule and barely noticeable, but it’s a smile.
When Bakugou inevitably dozes off, Shouta leaves them there to sleep, peaceful and undisturbed.
He finds them there the next morning, unmoved but now with a blanket draped over them. Shouta suspects that it’s either Iida or Yaoyorozu’s doing, as they were the ones who tended to get up the earliest.
When he finds Kirishima in the kitchen with no other soul in sight, Shouta’s supposes he’s not that surprised either. Kirishima had, afterall, seemed to have developed a sixth sense for things related to Bakugou.
He left before Kirishima could spot him. Eri was, afterall, in more-than-capable hands.
BONUS
“Where’s fuckwad?”
“I am never going to get used to her saying that,” Midoriya groaned.
“He’s out on a date with Kirishima,” Kaminari answers, munching on a strawberry. “Anyone wanna bet they’re gonna come back and make out in the kitchen for three hours while they make dinner?”
Eri blinks at Kaminari with all the innocence of the world. “What’s making out?”
“Have you ever seen the two of them kiss?”
“No,” Eri responds.
Kaminari makes a noise of surprise. Midoriya lets out a sigh - whether it’s out of relief or something else, though, remains a mystery.
“Okay, well, kissing is when two people are attached by their lips,” Kaminair explains. “Making out is when they kiss for extended periods of time and there’s usually a lot more touching involved.” He pauses. “Sometimes it leads-”
“NO!” Uraraka interrupted, cutting Kaminari off. “THOSE TWO ALREADY CURSE US WITH THEIR LOUD PDA, DON’T MAKE ERI SUFFER THE BURDEN TOO!”
“I was gonna say that sometimes it leads to good meme ideas!” Kaminari shrieks. “I wouldn’t ruin Eri’s innocence like that!”
“What’s a meme?”
There’s a pause. A momentary silence, almost like time itself froze. Then-
“Oh, boy, do I have the presentation for you, Eri-”
“Kaminari’s going to corrupt Eri now,” Uraraka groaned. “We should’ve never been allowed near her, we’re all bad influences.”
“Too late, she’s already been Baku-fied. I’m gonna Kaminari-fy her next!”
“What after, the Todo-fication of her?!”
“What’s he gonna do, teach her how to come up with conspiracy theories?”
Todoroki perks up. “Can I?”
Aizawa walks in just as the class erupts into a unified cry of “TODOROKI, NO!”
He walks right back out.
He’d deal with whatever chaos they were causing later.