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“Another one?” I asked myself as I saw another slip of paper with a neatly ‘goodbye’ written on it. I know it’s her doing again. Sometimes I don’t understand her but there was once a saying that there are two kinds of people, the one who leaned to the door of life and death. She might be the later. But to think that she kept leaving me messages, probably deep inside she wanted to be alive.
I rushed to the rooftop of our apartment before something bad happened to her. As I open the door, I see her standing near the fence with her white dress and blonde hair blown by a gentle wind. She looked so beautiful even in the state that I don’t even want to imagine what is going to happen next if I did not come.
“Lumine… don’t do that.” I said, walking at her then quickly took her hand. I hold her cold hand gently. She now turned her head and looked at me.
“Xiao?” She said, her eyes looked so empty. She moved herself away from the fence after that.
“Let’s head back, it’s getting cold now.” I said gently. She didn’t say anything but she followed me as I guided her back to our room.
* * *
I remembered that the first time we met, the situation wasn’t much different except that she had never sent me a message at all. I stood, mesmerized by her look when she was about to jump but I ran to stop her. Never thought that I found someone so pretty like her in a circumstance like this. Am I dreaming?
“Are you okay?” I asked her. She nodded at me, she looked surprised but probably because I scared her.
“My name is Xiao, and you?” I introduced myself to her out of spite.
“Lumine…” She said. A beautiful name indeed.
What do people say when this kind of situation come? A love at first sight perhaps? But that’s what I felt. I asked her to grab some coffee after that. Never know that we are a match. We understand each other, our conversation is a click. Everything between us goes so smooth that it really felt like a dream.
But sometimes there are things I don’t understand about her. She talked about death like it’s something romantic, the look in her eyes felt like she fell in love with the idea of death. I hate it so much, I don’t want to lose her after all.
* * *
And another day passed, again I found her goodbye piece of paper from her. I sighed, why she kept doing this lately. But I found my legs kept walking to the rooftop to see her. Of course, I don’t want to lose her at all.
“Lumine, stop it.” I said as I walked closer to her figure. She is staring at the horizon far away from us as if she could reach it.
“I have enough, Xiao. I don’t want all of these at all.” She shook her head.
“But Lumi--” I tried to grab her hand but she slapped my hand away.
“Xiao… I said I have enough.” She said again. I took a deep breath. I too, feel enough of these.
“Look, I do have enough too. Everything is shit but… I want you to stay, Lumine.” I shouted at her. I just wanted her, that’s all.
“He… see… we have enough.” She suddenly changed. She smiled at me, almost looking like she is going to laugh too. But it felt like I saw her smile for the first time. Her smile just now… mesmerized me.
“Lumi…” I lost my words at her smile. She took my hand and held me gently.
“Follow me, let’s free ourselves from these burdens.” She said gently before she dragged me to the edge of the building. I followed her without saying anything.
The last thing I know is we’re both falling down, melting into the night sky. Now I know why she sent me those papers of goodbyes, she doesn't want to be stopped… she wanted me to follow her to race into the night.
Fin.