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Realistically, Jungeun knows that she shouldn’t be upset. It’s silly that she is. She doesn’t have the right. Especially since clear lines were drawn and a conversation was had. Sooyoung and her agreed.
”So.. friends that have sex occasionally, that’s what we’re landing on?”
Sooyoung grins, nodding her head against the crook of Jungeun’s neck as her lips mouth at the delicate skin.
They probably shouldn’t be counting this as an official conversation when there minds are already clouded with each other, both half dressed as Jungeun sits atop Sooyoung’s lap, straddling her.
“Yeah,” Sooyoung whispers, her voice a little dreamy, “Sound...” a kiss to Jungeun’s throat.. “good?”
This time, a kiss to the lips as Sooyoung finishes asking the question. Jungeun hums, her Yes swallowed up by Sooyoung’s mouth against her own.
She’s at a restaurant, to grab take-out for a night in by herself to catch up on dramas in peace while her roommate’s staying at her girlfriend’s for a couple of days. Jungeun really wanted to soak up that time alone.
So seeing Sooyoung, Jungeun’s friend but also the person she’s been regularly sleeping with for months - just shy of a year actually - sitting at a table looking as effortlessly gorgeous as she always does while she’s across from another beautiful woman really hits Jungeun like a ton of bricks that she wasn’t even a little prepared for.
She has no right to feel blindsided.
Her and Sooyoung don’t belong to each other, but she tries to push down the feeling that’s lurching up inside.
She can’t turn her eyes away from Sooyoung in all her glory, just sitting there so casually and so pretty, watching the way the older woman’s hand runs through her shoulder length hair. Admiring the way her hair’s always a little stylishly messy and wishing she could be the one threading her fingers through it. Wishing she was the one with Sooyoung.
Sooyoung’s smile doesn’t drop when her eyes catch Jungeun’s, if anything the corners of her lips upturn a tad more and her eyes brighten up as she gives a small wave.
Jungeun waves, returns the smile though she’s aware it’s a little dull, not reflecting Sooyoung’s own pure happiness.
Was Sooyoung on a date? She never said anything, not that she had to talk to Jungeun about that side of her personal life. Even as friends they really didn’t spill the details on romantic entanglements. Well, Jungeun didn’t have anyone that she was seeing. Wasn’t interested even though what she has with Sooyoung isn’t exclusive.
Ugh.
It really looked like a date.
—
Jungeun’s drifting off, body sinking in to the cushions of the couch and breath slowing down as her eyes fight to stay open after eating her meal. She thinks it’s probably not near as late as it feels though the sun’s been down for awhile. She’s tired after eating and her ever persistent thoughts of Sooyoung won’t let her focus much on anything else. In fact, watching dramas already made her think of Sooyoung. That was something they would do together sometimes, always into the romance genre.
They would be left playing on the screen long forgotten as they lazily made out, Sooyoung muttering sweet-nothings in her ear as Jungeun would giggle, her warm breath coming out in puffs against Sooyoung’s cheek.
There were moments where it got heated, sure, but mostly Jungeun felt so light when Sooyoung was close. Cares and worries nowhere near, the older woman kissing them all away.
She’s shocked awake from her sleep and she can’t stop the frustrated groan from leaving her lips.
There’s a sheepish looking Sooyoung standing at her doorway with a carrier of two coffee cups, still in the outfit she was wearing when Jungeun saw her earlier at the restaurant.
“Hi,” she says before Jungeun can ask her why she’s there - didn’t she already have plans? - she holds up the coffee, “I brought stuff. I know you were going to spend the night alone but I thought maybe you’d want company? Sorry I didn’t text first...”
Jungeun shakes her head, “No, it’s fine. I thought you were busy?”
Sooyoung glances away for moment before she shrugs, “Plans ended early. I do need to get home later to meet a deadline for work but I thought we could watch a movie. Or something, before I have to go.”
Jungeun doesn’t need to ask what or something means but her mind keeps going back to before in the evening when she saw Sooyoung at dinner with that girl.
Jungeun’s eyebrow raises, “So you brought me coffee to keep me awake for a movie and sex before you bail to pull an all-nighter working?”
Sooyoung scrunches her eyebrows up, crinkles her nose, “Well, it doesn’t sound nice when you say it like that.”
Jungeun was only giving her a hard time, tugs Sooyoung’s free hand in through her doorway, “Get in here.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She tries to contain the wild butterflies in her stomach when Sooyoung gives her that smile, looking relieved that Jungeun didn’t send her away.
As if she would ever.
—
Sooyoung moves to get comfortable once Jungeun lets her in. She takes off the blazer she has on, a white sleeveless button down underneath it. Her arms are toned and tan and Jungeun really can’t remember when Sooyoung started having more defined biceps but they’re so good.
“You know you don’t have to seduce me right?”
She was already planning on sleeping with her.
Sooyoung’s eyes meet hers in surprise, “What do you mean?”
“Like you don’t know you’re hot,” Jungeun scoffs, incredulous.
“Shut up,” she laughs out, “I’m just trying to get cozy.”
Fine.
Sooyoung takes her spot on the sofa, Jungeun moving in to settle against her and relaxing into her when Sooyoung throws an arm across her shoulders.
They cuddle sometimes.
They choose something to watch and like usual it fades into the background. It’s hard to pay attention when she’s with Sooyoung and tonight is different because she wants to bring up what she saw.
“You looked really nice tonight,” Jungeun knows she’s not being subtle so she just outright asks, “Were you on a date?”
Sooyoung would see through it anyway.
She feels the woman’s body stiffen against her but only for such a minuscule amount of time that if Jungeun weren’t so use to Sooyoung’s body and her mannerisms, she wouldn’t have noticed it.
“It wasn’t a date,” Sooyoung murmurs simply.
“Hmm,” Jungeun hums, “Well, she was really pretty.”
“You’re really pretty,” Sooyoung counters, shifting to face Jungeun, to pull her into her lap so she’s straddling her, “I’m here with you. Not her.”
Something about that statement strikes a chord within Jungeun because she just as easily could be with that other woman right now.
Sooyoung chose Jungeun.
So she lets it’s be, holds Sooyoung’s face with her hands before leaning her head in to kiss her. Really let’s herself sink into it when she thinks of Sooyoung kissing anyone that isn’t her.
“Don’t wanna talk about that,” Sooyoung mumbles against Jungeun’s lips, they’re of the same mind, “Let me just be here with you.”
Jungeun could do that, she didn’t have any fight in her and Sooyoung had come all this way.
And she wanted her just as much.
“Bedroom?”
—
Sooyoung never made it back home, work would have to wait. She would undeniably hear something about her deadline not being met but she had better things to tend to.
Jungeun is most definitely a better thing.
The younger was usually awake first before the two. Sooyoung was tired herself but she was just as content to lay here with Jungeun in her arms than she was sleeping.
“I lied to you.”
“About?”
Sooyoung nervously laughs, not sure how to move forward with Jungeun watching her so intently, “I was on a date yesterday.”
Jungeun scoffs, rolls her eyes. She knew it.
She totally knew.
Sooyoung always looks amazing but there’s no way she was looking that damn good just to go eat dinner with a friend and hang out.
Jungeun isn’t sure she wants to actually know when the words leave her mouth, “Do you like her?”
Sooyoung’s gaze stays level with Jungeun’s, she won’t falter, “I like you. Only you.”
They had never intended to fall for each other out of their physical attraction and trust for one another because of their friendship, there wasn’t meant to be any romantic depth there but they were past stopping it now.
Jungeun knew her true feelings early into their arrangement. Sooyoung knew when she was on a date with someone else and she kept trying to envision Jungeun sitting across from her instead. Thinking about what Jungeun would order for dinner and to drink, how she would dress if Sooyoung were to take her out.
Sooyoung ended the night as soon as dinner was paid for, apologized to her date.
I think there’s someone else, I should have known before we went out.
She wanted to be with Jungeun so it’s where she went. Now here they were.
“Don’t lie to me again Ha Sooyoung,” the muffled words tickle against her throat, Jungeun’s head tucked under her chin, “I’m yours, okay?”
“I’m yours too.”