Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

10:45

Allison

[10:45] anyway, i’m a genius, and you’re all welcome

Sloane

[10:46] omg yes thank you alli

Klaus

[10:46] allison’s the best i love you alli!!

Fei

[10:48] Guys, stop. You’re just feeding her ego.

Fabian-Finch

[10:48] You’re one to talk, Fei.

[10:49] This was a good idea, Allison.

Allison

[10:51] thanks finch 💖

Vanya

[10:51] yeah, fei’s just mad bc she didn’t think of it herself

Alphonso

[10:51] LMAO VANYA

Sloane

[10:52] VANYA DAMN

Lila

[10:52] get got

Marcus

[10:54] Allison, you said this would help with team bonding.

Klaus

[10:54] cmon marc

[10:54] this is the epitome of bonding

Sloane

[10:55] yeah me and finchie do this all the time right finchie

Fabian-Finch

[10:55] Don’t call me ‘Finchie’.

Sloane revised a username!

Finchie

[10:57] Fuck off, Sloane. /srs

Jayme

[10:59] Oh okay, so this is just like real life talking

[11:00] Alright, cool

Alphonso

[11:00] hey jay jay

Jayme

[11:01] Hey al

Marcus

[11:03] Alright, that’s ten of us.

[11:03] Where are Luther, Diego, Ben and Chris?

Jayme

[11:05] Luther and diego are helping chris figure out his phone

Lila

[11:05] bruh, we got em like

[11:05] an hour ago

Jayme

[11:07] It isn't that easy

Vanya

[11:08] ben’s sleeping, i just checked

Allison

[11:08] you’re still in your room though???

Vanya

[11:08] super hearing lol

Allison

[11:09] oh yeah, lmao

Christopher

[11:12] Hello!

Vanya

[11:12] hey bestie chris!!

Sloane

[11:13] i thought i was your bestie #betrayed /hj

Vanya

[11:14] i can have multiple besties, slo

Alphonso

[11:15] yeah she’s russian it’s how they do things

Vanya

[11:17] ALPHONSO 💀💀

Sloane

[11:18] LMAO YEAH forgot i was besties with comrade vanya

Vanya revised a username!

comrade vanya

[11:21] yes, hello, it is i, comrade vanya

Klaus

[11:23] I’M HOLLERING

Diego

[11:25] BRUH 💀💀💀

12:30

Sloane

[12:30] recreational time who up

Luther

[12:32] working on a plane!

Sloane

[12:32] be right there

comrade vanya

[12:33] same!!

Fei

[12:35] Don’t you still have homework?

comrade vanya

[12:35] bruh.

Marcus

[12:37] We only get 30min every Saturday, Fei.

[12:37] Let her have this.

Fei

[12:38] I don’t want Father to yell at her again.

comrade vanya

[12:40] fei 🥺

[12:41] i’ll finish it right after the 30mins are up, okay??

Fei

[12:41] Okay, fine.

Ben

[12:44] hey, fei. calm down and go read a book.

Fei

[12:46] Hey, Ben. Go back to sleeping through everything like you always do.

Finchie

[12:46] Wow, I just heard this argument yesterday.

Lila

[12:47] yeah, get better material

Allison

[12:51] hey, i just finished painting klaus’s nails, does anyone else want in on this??

Diego

[12:51] im down

Finchie

[12:52] Sure, let me wash off this chalk dust.

Luther

[12:54] if there’s still time after I finish my plane, then sure!!

comrade vanya

[12:55] wait, but we still have to fly it

Luther

[12:55] oh rip, true…

Sloane

[12:56] wait, guys

[12:56] what if

[12:57] we fly the plane in allison’s room

comrade vanya

[12:57] oh shit, you right.

Luther

[12:59] is that okay, Allison?

Allison

[13:02] yeah, i don’t mind

Luther

[13:03] bestie allison 🥺

comrade vanya

[13:03] allison, ilu 💖

Lila

[13:05] you show luther and vanya one (1) kind gesture, and then they’d die for you

comrade vanya

[13:07] SHHHHH

Luther

[13:08] too loud, too loud.

Klaus

[13:10] wserdtfygusa

Sloane

[13:10] BRUH let them live

Lila

[13:11] nah i’m good

Finchie revised a username!

killjoy

[13:14] you’re one to talk, bitch boy

Sloane

[13:16] i’m yelling he really came on just to do that huh

Alphonso

[13:16] lurking??

[13:18] also!! is that nails offer still open i just finished the english hw

Allison

[13:21] ofc, my door’s always open!! 😄

Alphonso

[13:22] OMG QUEEN

Alphonso revised a username!

queen alli

[13:25] asdefghrftygghb ALPHONSO 😳💖

Luther

[13:26] Alphonso dropping #facts

queen alli

[13:27] WERTFJHGJILOIKUJTYHRGFHSJDY QUIT IT 😳🥺😫

Diego

[13:30] no seriously quit it i want my nails to look nice

Alphonso

[13:32] oh yeah for got you were getting yours done too oops

Luther

[13:34] PLANE’S FINISHED!!

Sloane

[13:35] AYYYYYYY

comrade vanya

[13:35] omw omw!!

15:02

Marcus

[15:02] So, I’ve been doing a bit of research on how group chats work.

[15:03] And I think we should come up with a name for ours.

Finchie

[15:05] Wow, could you sound any more like a massive nerd?

killjoy

[15:06] bruh, leave him alone, he did research /s

Marcus

[15:06] Thank you, Lila.

Ben

[15:08] she was being sarcastic; that’s what the “/s” means.

Marcus

[15:08] Oh.

[15:09] Anyway – group chat name! Any thoughts?

Alphonso

[15:12] “motherfuckers incorporated”

Marcus

[15:13] Okay, so, we’re not doing that.

Klaus

[15:13] aww why not??

Diego

[15:13] ^^^

Marcus

[15:15] Seriously?

Finchie

[15:16] Alphonso’s name is completely accurate, though?

Sloane

[15:16] he has a point marky

killjoy

[15:17] we are the Biggest Bunch Of Motherfuckers™

Marcus

[15:17] Guys.

Christopher

[15:18] I do not entirely know what a motherfucker is, but based on the description Vanya gave me when I asked just now, I think it is pretty fitting for us.

Alphonso

[15:19] EVEN CHRIS AGREES

Jayme

[15:19] I also agree

Ben has changed the group name to motherfuckers incorporated .

Ben

[15:20] It Is Done.

Diego

[15:20] lets GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Private Message – 15:21

Fei

[15:21] That could’ve gone much better.

Marcus

[15:22] I know.

Fei

[15:22] They do have a point, though.

Fei

[15:23] We are motherfuckers.

Chapter Text

motherfuckers incorporated – 06:53

comrade vanya

[06:53] yo, what the fuck was up at breakfast time today?

Klaus

[06:55] oh cool i wasnt the only one who felt like someshit was off

Sloane

[06:56] RIGHT??

Diego

[06:58] bruh i know mom and dad hate each other but like

[06:59] today they HATED each other

Sloane

[07:00] ^^^^^^

comrade vanya

[07:02] all i know is that this better not cut into me and chris’s training today, like.

[07:03] if i can’t bring my emotions to personal training, neither can you, DAD

Finchie

[07:03] Aw, shit. I forgot you had training today.

[07:04] Damn it, I found us a good piano/violin piece yesterday, just before curfew.

comrade vanya

[07:04] NAW WHAT

Finchie

[07:05] I was gonna invite you to play right after breakfast.

comrade vanya

[07:06] BRO FUCK SUNDAY, I DON’T WANNA DO THIS NO MORE

Ben

[07:06] damn. put an f in the cat.

[07:07] *chat.

[07:07] Fuck.

Klaus

[07:07] cat

Sloane

[07:07] cat

Diego

[07:07] cat

Finchie

[07:07] cat

Ben

[07:08] Oh My God.

comrade vanya

[07:08] cat

Jayme

[07:09] Cat

Ben

[07:09] et tu, jayme?

Alphonso

[07:10] jay lives on the wild side brother

[07:10] bee tee dubs

[07:10] cat

Ben

[07:12] I Live In Hell.

comrade vanya

[07:12] we all live in hell.

killjoy

[07:13] yeah, suck it up, benjamin

Ben

[07:13] really living up to your chat name, huh, lils?

killjoy

[07:14] i aim to please.

Finchie

[07:16] Do you aim to be a bitch as well?

killjoy

[07:17] this was an ab conversation, please c your way out

Finchie

[07:18] I Will Kill You With My Bare Hands.

killjoy

[07:18] Please Do.

Diego

[07:20] UM.

Alphonso

[07:20] bestie what??

killjoy

[07:21] lmao, i’m joking

[07:21] i do this all the time

[07:23] like when fei says she hates us and wishes she were an only child

Fei

[07:25] That’s not a joke, I do wish that.

Ben

[07:26] haha, good one, fei.

mischief managed – 07:26

Voodoo Doll

[07:26] yo

[07:27] you sure you okay bestie @ Echo

Echo

[07:29] yeah, i’m fine, dude

[07:31] i was honestly making a joke

Kraken

[07:31] okay.

[07:32] but like. if its ever like.

[07:33] not a joke.

Voodoo Doll

[07:33] ^^^^^

Echo

[07:36] if i ever start being serious about wanting to Full Quit™, y’all will be the first to know /srs

Kraken

[07:38] cool

Voodoo Doll

[07:38] litty thanks sis

Kraken

[07:40] “litty”

Voodoo Doll

[07:40] yes

Kraken

[07:41] wtf al no one says that

Voodoo Doll

[07:41] I Do.

Kraken

[07:42] Well Fucking Dont.

Private Message – 07:37

Fabian-Finch

[07:37] You good?

Lila

[07:44] yeah /srs

Fabian-Finch

[07:47] Okay, good.

motherfuckers incorporated – 08:43

Sloane

[08:43] bruh i’m so mcfucking bored

[08:45] @everyone who wants to throw me off the balcony

Klaus

[08:46] GIRL I

queen alli

[08:46] SLOANE WHAT

Sloane

[08:47] BITCH I’M BORED, WHAT???

Ben

[08:50] sloane, holy shit.

Luther

[08:52] @Sloane, do I need to get Marcus?

Sloane

[08:54] YOU BETTER NOT

[08:54] he’s gonna make That Face™ at me

[08:55] that fucking. worried dad face.

Finchie

[08:56] Clearly, you fucking need it.

queen alli

[08:57] ^^^^^

Sloane

[08:59] my power is literally to fuck up gravity, chill the fuck out y’all

Ben revised a username!

daredevil

[09:02] jokes on you, i like this nickname and fully intend to embrace it

queen alli

[09:03] ben, what the fuck have you done?!

Finchie

[09:03] You’ve just given her more power, you fool.

Ben

[09:04] oh god, you’re right.

[09:04] What Have I Wrought?

killjoy

[09:07] yo, @daredevil, is that balcony offer still open?

daredevil

[09:07] bet!!!

killjoy

[09:08] queuing up super strength as we speak.

Luther

[09:10] I am 👌🏻 this close to pinging Marcus.

daredevil

[09:10] noar 😠

killjoy

[09:11] bruh, luther, let us vibe, what the fuck?

daredevil

[09:12] ^^^^seriously 🙄😒

Finchie

[09:14] You know what? Just fucking let ‘em do it.

Luther

[09:15] Finch.

Finchie

[09:15] No, fuck it. I’m done.

[09:16] Literally, I do not give a shit anymore.

Klaus

[09:17] damn look what yall did

Finchie

[09:17] No, it’s their problem, now.

[09:19] And when they get caught by the old man, and he makes it part of their training, that’ll be their problem, too.

daredevil

[09:20] wait.

[09:21] wait, fuck, you got a point.

[09:21] shit.

killjoy

[09:21] no, no, he doesn’t, he’s just trying to reverse psych you.

daredevil

[09:22] WELL IT FUCKING WORKED.

killjoy

[09:22] come on, we’ll be super discreet, i swear.

Luther

[09:24] just don’t do it??

Klaus

[09:24] ^^^^^^personal trainings fucking suck

comrade vanya

[09:24] true, but.

[09:24] if you don’t want to get caught.

[09:25] just do it during my training.

daredevil

[09:25] OOH, GOOD IDEA!!

killjoy

[09:25] COME THRU VANYA 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Finchie

[09:25] Vanya, what the actual fuck?

comrade vanya

[09:26] like you don’t wanna see this play out

[09:26] motherfucker, I Know You.

[09:26] you too, @Ben; y’all two ain’t slick

Alphonso

[09:27] damn vanya got yo numbers

Ben

[09:27] i already have one bitch in my head, i don’t need another. /hj

comrade vanya

[09:28] HELP, MOOD

Alphonso

[09:28] huh bitch??

Ben

[09:28] oh, you didn’t know?

comrade vanya

[09:29] our powers are sentient yo

daredevil

[09:31] naw

killjoy

[09:31] wut luv.

Klaus

[09:33] um i think they call that mental illness besties

Ben

[09:33] you’re one to talk.

Klaus

[09:34] i–

[09:34] 💀✋🏻

queen alli

[09:35] ben, oh my god,

Ben revised a username!

klaun 🤡

[09:37] hhhhhhh

Alphonso

[09:37] BRUH STOP HE’S ALREADY DEAD

killjoy

[09:38] ben out here nuking fuckers

daredevil

[09:38] ben is a bully 👎🏻😭😔

Luther

[09:39] Klaus, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that an ugly ass bitch like this,

comrade vanya

[09:39] pour one the fuck out 😔😩

daredevil has changed the group name to ben is a bully #saveklaus.

Ben

[09:40] y’all are mad because i’m right.

Alphonso revised a username!

ben is a hoe

[09:42] yo, shut the fuck up,

queen alli

[09:43] deserved.

killjoy

[09:43] gottem

ben is a hoe

[09:44] y’all are so rude.

daredevil

[09:46] HUH???

Luther

[09:46] Sir,

Alphonso

[09:46] HELLO???????

killjoy

[09:47] i know this mf did not just call us rude, like.

Finchie

[09:47] If Klaus is a clown, then Ben is the entire circus.

ben is a hoe

[09:48] Fabian.

Finchie

[09:49] Don’t you “Fabian” me, motherfucker, don’t you do it.

Jayme

[09:50] I come back from homework and this is what I see.

ben is a hoe

[09:50] jayme, help me,

Jayme

[09:51] No, you're a meanie

Alphonso

[09:51] get his ass

queen alli

[09:53] friendship ended with ben 🖕🏾🐙🚫🙅🏾‍♀️ now finch and jayme are my besties 🕔👌🏾🦷👍🏾

daredevil

[09:54] HELP THE 5 O’CLOCK EMOJI

[09:55] anyway, fuck ben, imma go jump off the balcony.

killjoy

[09:55] omw omw

Jayme

[09:56] Don't?

Finchie

[09:57] You’re too late, Jaymes, it’s a lost cause.

Jayme

[09:58] 🤦🏽‍♀️