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First, the sound of a waiting tone, and then, a click.
"Who is this?"
"Kaiba, your shitty servers are broken."
"Alright, impolite."
"Your greeting wasn't a whole lot better."
"Why do you have this number, Jounouchi?"
"I'm not giving you my sources."
"It was Yugi."
"No, it wasn't Yugi. You know he wouldn't do that, and you know what else? It doesn't matter. I already have it. And we need to talk."
"Alright. I'll give you five seconds to state your case."
"Ok. Hear me out. I've been calling to have this solved for an hour already, and I keep getting bounced off to some waiting tune. You see, I'm on the main screen now, and it says I'm offline-"
"I'm hanging up."
"Waitwaitwait! Just kidding! I mean, the servers are dead, that's not a lie—"
"You've had your five seconds, and you've already used them to basically tell me to fix my—"
"Fix your shit, yeah. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, Kaiba. Show me you're grateful."
"That is so nice of you. But the servers are fine, and I'm not your tech support. Go figure your problem out on your own."
"Do I look that tech savvy to you?"
"You look nothing savvy."
"Screw you."
"Was it Yugi?"
"Again, no. Do you really think I could convince Yugi into giving me your number without asking you first?"
"You two are friends."
"And he's friends with you too."
"We're not. We have a professional—"
"Yeah, yeah, you guys work together sometimes, go out for lunch sometimes, get drunk together sometimes..."
"We're not—"
"Ok, maybe not wasted, but you're not fooling anyone. Wait, I'm not here to talk about that, and we both know it! Change the subject one more time and I'm gonna do something. I don't know what, but I'll think about it later."
"... Sure."
"Kaiba?"
"Yes?"
"Are you laughing?"
"... Absolutely not. Go on."
"... Really? You're muting the—"
"I said, go on."
"Well, I can't. I should be bragging to you, and I can't. Because your servers are down, and I'm pretty sure I was robbed by now."
"There is nothing wrong with the servers."
"Well, explain why I can't log in."
"Network."
"Connected."
"Firewall."
"Deactivated."
"False positive on antivirus."
"I don't even have one of those. It's a fresh machine I got from my latest gig, and I don't use my equipment for anything shady. Are you dodging my question?"
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
"Ok, now you're just messing with me."
"I am. But you did have it coming."
"How so."
"A call at nine? I was about to go home. Next time you might as well just waltz into my office."
"Would you let me?"
"I'd send you back with two guards."
"A flower in each hand, huh?"
"If you like your flowers on the burly side... Do you ever stop thinking like that?"
"Not if you keep giving me chances to. And I see what you're doing again. Stop it. Are you going to fix the servers?"
"I said the servers are fine."
"Are they?"
"Yes. Yes, they are. We have normal traffic as well. Everything is working just fine. The problem must be on your end. Maybe if you just clear the cache—"
"Are you playing with your telephone cord right now?"
"... It's a wireless telephone."
"Well, you sound like you'd be playing with your telephone chord. Maybe filing your nails. I don't know."
"Just fiddling with a pen, I'm afraid. Wondering when you're actually going to get to the point. You know. Waiting."
"How, very, patient of you."
"I can drag this on for a very long time, if you let me."
"Oh, I'm sure you can. You're doing an excellent job at pretending like you don't owe like an entire manifesto of an apology right now."
"Don't you find it amusing?"
"Not as much as you do. Which does piss me off a little. Only a little."
"Pfahaha..."
"You bastard, I knew it!"
"My bad. Forgot to mute."
"Tell me what happened. You know something."
"I said the servers are fine."
"Come ooonnnn. If they're fine, then what was it? This is fun, but I'm losing my mind here."
"Ok..."
"... I'm waiting?"
"I kicked you out."
"You—! Are you— I was winning!"
"Really?"
"I waasssss!"
"Does a tree falling in the forest make a sound when nobody's around to listen? Is Jounouchi Katsuya really about to win a match, if he didn't make it to the result screen and he has no footage?"
"I literally cannot believe you."
"I get that you're mad, but I need a clean record until next week. Go score a win against Yugi, if you have to, but do it soon. I'm getting that card banned."
"It's been there for years!"
"And thank you for letting me know it was broken before you could abuse it in a tournament. We keep having to update the banlist because of you."
"I refuse to follow to the meta. Shit's boring. New feature's broken. And zombies? No way."
"It plays well with the Red Eyes."
"I don't want to look at a projection of a melty rotting dragon. It's bad. Nobody wants to see their trump card like that. Whoever thought of that needs to go sit in a corner and thing about what they've done."
"Good point. Have you considered a career in design quality assurance? I could probably write you a recommendation letter, if you want."
"No. Just tell the people at Industrial to think about what they're doing before they print stuff."
"They stopped caring a while ago. Maybe I could buy them off, but I don't think that'd get rid of the power creep problem."
"There has to be another way that isn't constantly expanding the banlist."
"There's currently none that I'm aware of."
"There's one."
"No, there's not."
"Rotations."
"Are you suggesting I shouldn't use my Blue Eyes anymore?"
"I'm suggesting you need to move on. It had a good run while it lasted. We need to make peace, and let go."
"Not going to happen."
"You know someone will make it happen one way or another at this rate. You might want to pull the plug while you still have a choice."
"I am not changing the core of my deck. Suggest I should again, and I will slap you. It won't be a fun moment for either of us."
"I mean, that depends on your idea of fun..."
"... Excuse me?"
"... Holy— did I really just—?"
"Good question, Jounouchi, did you?"
"I don't know."
"..."
"Stop muting the speaker!"
"... I think Schrödinger would like to have a word with you."
"Yeah, I think he might want one with both of us, actually."
"Probably. Over what?"
"I dunno. What do you think? Are you in a cat-in-a-box situation right now?
"Why? Are you?"
"Nonono. No. My answer depends on yours now. How's that sound?"
"Like a hassle. And like we're both better than this."
"Yeah, maybe. But not right now. Besides, doesn't it worry you?"
"What should?"
"Running out of... reasons."
"You mean excu—"
"I mean reasons."
"Hmm. No. There's always something if you think hard enough."
"You think so?"
"I really do. And I have to say that I'm enjoying myself more than I first thought I would..."
"... You know what? Same. But it almost feels like a shame. Like, right now, I think I'm pretty damn close to let something, you know, slip by. And I don't want to. Not over the phone, at least."
"You might want to not keep going then."
"I'd have to hang up. And I don't feel like doing that either."
"Well, either one or the other will have to happen, according to you."
"I know. I know..."
"... I like the way things are now. For now."
"Yeah, me too."
"So? Should we hang up?"
"Maybe? Wait. Kaiba... Are you— I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Would you like to—"
"Hold on. Jounouchi."
"Yeah?"
"Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"This."
A click is heard. The line goes dead. Two people lose it in their own way.