Archive of Our Own

If anyone asked Haruka what he does every Wednesday and Friday afternoons and Sunday mornings, they'd expect an answer along the lines of swimming or sketching or cooking mackerel. Things he usually does on all the other days since his new life in Tokyo was fairly routine. He would've expected those answers himself too if anyone asked him that when he first moved there. He expected that those days and times would be filled with training and doing homework for his art classes. 

It was like that for a while until the last person he expected to text him, texted him just a few days after the All-Japan Invitationals and Rin's temporary departure. 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: hey, um… this will be weird but, can we meet in half an hour?

Me: sure. where?

Yamazaki, Sousuke: marron?

Me: ok. 

Sousuke's timing was impeccable then, since Haruka's only class on that Friday morning had just finished. He took his time walking to the café, not wanting to be too early but ended up being early anyway given the very short distance between Hidaka and Marron. He didn't wait long though since Sousuke showed up ten minutes early with a deep blush on his face, which later was blamed on the request he'd given to Haruka. 

"Can you… come with me to my PT session later?" 

It was Sousuke's first one since his surgery and he was nervous. Understandably so. But Haruka was confused as to why he was asking him of all people. The confusion on his face must have been evident since Sousuke explained, "Makoto is farther away, Kisumi asks too many questions and Rin is in another country. You're quiet and not nosy so…" 

That was reasonable enough, so Haruka shrugged and said yes. 

Ever since then, he became Sousuke's go-to for giving him company during the scary PT sessions. Even when Rin came back after his school transfers got approved three weeks after that. 

So, if anyone asked Haruka what he did on Wednesday, Friday, and Sundays, he would still say he was either swimming, sketching or cooking because he figured that Sousuke would want his privacy on the matter. 

The only people that knew were Makoto and Rin because they'd find out anyway, and Coach Ryuuji. He had to know since Haruka's training schedule overlapped with Sousuke's appointment on Wednesdays. He asked to have it changed to Tuesdays so that he could continue going with Sousuke. He was running out of excuses as to why he kept missing Wednesday training so he just came clean. Ryuuji was surprisingly understanding and adjusted his schedule to Tuesdays and an extra set on Thursdays. It was more work than Haruka was used to, but it was okay as long as he got to accompany Sousuke. 

He didn't tell him about the new arrangement in his schedule though, knowing that Sousuke would reprimand him for "neglecting" his training and would tell Haruka that he doesn't have to go with him anymore even if he didn't mean it. Sousuke just seemed to accept that their schedules were conveniently aligned and Haruka was okay with that. 

He often asked himself why he went so out of his way for someone he used to be so distant with; going as far as rearranging his schedule to line up with Sousuke's. Everything about it was too much work and so bothersome and yet Haruka didn't think twice about doing it. He didn't think twice about committing to this… thing, determined to see it through and just be there for someone who seemed to need him. 

"I just… need someone there this time around." Sousuke said on the first Sunday Haruka had accompanied him. "It was scary going through it alone back then which is why I found it so difficult. So maybe, if I had someone with me now, it'd be more bearable." 

And something about that seemed to give Haruka the drive to have the commitment he does now; to be that someone Sousuke needed. In fact, he is so committed that he sometimes has to remind Sousuke about his upcoming appointments. 

Which he currently had to do as he walked out the natatorium after practice on a gloomy Wednesday afternoon. 

Me: where are you? we have an hour before pt

Yamazaki, Sousuke: fuck, sorry, i was finishing up an essay and lost track of time. i'll meet you at the clinic? 

Me: sure. i'll grab us something to eat.

Yamazaki, Sousuke: remind me again why i was so mad at you before?

Haruka smiled. 

Me: you're stupid, that's why

Yamazaki, Sousuke: wait wait, i remember now. 

Me: idiot. hurry up before you're late. i'll see you there. 

Haruka didn't wait for a reply and put his phone away, shoving his hands in the pocket of his university jacket. He made his way to Marron, greeting Akane as she already prepared his and Sousuke's usual. Asahi and Kisumi were there playing with the former's nephew. 

"Oi, Haru! You staying?" Asahi asked him, grinning widely even though was struggling with the baby in his arms. 

"No. I have stuff to do." 

"You always have stuff to do." Kisumi pouted, his sing-song voice ringing annoyingly in his ears. He simply sighed and shrugged in response. 

"You always leave so early on Wednesdays! Ever since the All-Japan. Is your coach giving you a hard time or something? Ow – stop kicking my face!" 

Haruka suppressed a chuckle, watching Tsukushi karate kick his uncle and shrugged again, "Yeah." 

"Here you go, Haru!" Akane threw him a wink that he elected to ignore and mumbled a thanks as he gave his payment that she always tried to refuse. He gave his friends a final wave before taking off to the direction of Sousuke's clinic. 

He let his mind wander as he walked to the train station, the direction ingrained in his mind that he could probably make it to the clinic with his eyes closed. He recalled his day's events, wondering what notable thing he'd tell Sousuke when he inevitably asks how his day went. 

Haruka was then struck with a realization that almost winded him when he remembered Coach Ryuuji's message to him from earlier about a three week long training camp for the members of the national team to be held in two weeks. Rin and Ikuya would be there too so he shouldn't be worried. 

And yet, an uneasy feeling twisted in his gut, followed by a flurry of questions. 

What about Sousuke's appointments? 

Haruka would be missing nine of them.  

Will he be okay? Who's going to go with him? Should he tell Makoto to go with him? 

Before he could spiral into a sea of endless wonder, his stop was announced and he got up, a little dazed from the worry that overcame him like a tidal wave. He hoped his short walk from the station to the clinic would ease his mind but it didn't help much. He hadn't missed an appointment with Sousuke since he started going with him. He didn't even think about the training camps that led up to the Olympics and other international competitions now that he made it to the national team. It didn't occur to him how often he'd be away and travelling. But then again, he didn’t think he’d be spending more than half of his time with Yamazaki Sousuke.  

"Haru! Slow down, damn." He heard the voice he'd become so familiar with behind him, immediately stopping and turning to the direction it came from. 

"You okay?" Sousuke asked. Haruka just blinked owlishly at him. 

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, got lost in thought." 

"No kidding, I've called your name like five times."  

"Sorry." 

Haruka waited until Sousuke was beside him and they continued their way to the clinic in comfortable silence. He tried not to be too stiff in his movements, his earlier thoughts still nagging at him like a repetitive jingle. He hoped Sousuke wouldn't notice, especially since he's almost as good as Makoto when it comes to reading him. He wasn't sure if he was happy about it or not. He was impressed though, given the fact that it only took him a few months when it took his childhood best friend years to read him. If Sousuke did notice, he didn't ask and Haruka was thankful. 

They made it to the clinic and Sousuke checked in, going through the process almost robotically. He sat beside Haruka while he waited for his name to be called. He was always quiet before his appointments. Always tense and nervous like it was his first time to a PT session. 

Haruka reached over, placing his slightly smaller hand over Sousuke's like he always did. The latter turned his hand over, palm up, lacing their fingers together, squeezing Haruka's hand automatically as if the gesture grounded him. Maybe it did and maybe that was why Haruka kept doing it since the first time. It was the only thing he thought of doing to help ease Sousuke's nerves. He was never good with words anyway and was glad that the simple touch was enough to make his friend breathe a little easier. He rubbed soothing circles over Sousuke's thumb with his, already feeling the tension lessen. 

"Yamazaki?" Sousuke's therapist called out. 

Haruka gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and then he was left alone. He took out his phone and a text from Rin was waiting for him. 

Matsuoka, Rin: yo, have you told sousuke about camp in two weeks?

Me: not yet. i was gonna do it after his appointment

Matsuoka, Rin: oh okay

Me: why?

Matsuoka, Rin: i just texted him a minute ago and realized he just started his appointment so he might ask you about it later

Me: ok. 

Haruka wasn't really sure why Rin was concerned about it, but it was Rin so he shrugged it off. He didn't reply after that and Haruka figured he should probably tell Makoto too. 

Me: i have a 3 week training camp in 2 weeks

Tachibana, Makoto: yeah! rin told me earlier. excited?

Was he? He was more worried than excited, though not about the camp itself. 

Me: sure. 

Tachibana, Makoto: you're worried aren't you 

Me: not really.

Tachibana, Makoto: let me rephrase. you're worried about leaving sousuke aren't you

Haruka pouted at his phone. 

Me: i'm not. 

Tachibana, Makoto: if you say so! 

He knitted his eyebrows together and huffed before locking his phone, shoving it back in his pocket. Curse Makoto and his stupid telepathic powers.

He looked around the familiar waiting room of the clinic, the same posters on the walls, the sterile scent, the same weird receptionist who stared at him longer than was considered normal every time he was there. Haruka slumped in his seat, waiting patiently for Sousuke to come out after an hour and a half session. He usually sketched for his assignments while he waited, but when he took out his sketchbook, all he could do was stare at the blank page. He let his pencil hover over the page hoping for something, anything to come out.

But nothing came and he scowled at the blankness as if it was its fault for not giving Haruka something to work with. He glared at it like a drawing would just pop up out of sheer force of will. He wasn’t sure how long he'd been having a staring contest with his sketchbook until Sousuke’s voice broke him out of his scowl. 

“Did your sketchbook insult the water or something?” He teased. 

Haruka rolled his eyes, snapped the book shut and shoved it into his bag. “It may as well have.” 

“Art block?” 

“Kind of.” 

“Hm. Movie or documentary tonight?" 

The two of them exited the building, walking to the station. Haruka thinks about the options he’s been given. 

“Documentary?” He answers. 

“Okay, but I’m choosing.”

Haruka rolled his eyes, “Fine.” 

“Did you get our usual?”

“Yeah. Akane-san had it ready already when she saw me.” 

“Damn, do we go there that often?” 

Haruka shrugged and they were enveloped in silence again until the train pulled up on the platform. It was crowded with rush hour in play as it always was, but it didn’t annoy Haruka any less. Luckily, Sousuke’s apartment was only two stops away and they would escape the crowd of people soon. He ended up being pressed against Sousuke’s chest, annoyed at their damn height difference, but thankful that it’s not some random stranger in front of him. The familiar scent of his friend calmed his agitation from being surrounded by so many people, making the short ride a little more bearable. He glanced up and his breath almost hitched when he found Sousuke looking at him already with a shit-eating grin.

“Comfortable?” He teased. 

Haruka rolled his eyes and poked Sousuke’s side, making him jolt. “Very.” 

“I hate you.” 

A small smile appeared on Haruka's face while Sousuke glared at him fondly. The rest of the five minute train ride was spent with Haruka leaning a little bit closer to the other, while Sousuke’s arm hovered around his waist. 

***

When they arrived at Sousuke’s apartment, the two of them immediately reheated their food and situated themselves around the kotatsu, satiating the hunger that gnawed at them all day, waiting until they were full enough to even acknowledge or do anything else.

“So how was it?” Haruka asked as soon as his mind could think about anything else other than food.

He didn’t have to specify what he was asking about and for once, Sousuke didn’t tense up at the question, so maybe things turned out better today. He watched a wide grin spread on his face and Haruka hoped he smiled like that a little more. 

“I don’t have to come three times a week anymore.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Things are improving a lot faster this time around. Mostly because you’ve been keeping me in check.”

A warmth spread in Haruka’s chest and he didn’t really know what to make of it. He put his food down on the table and fiddled with the sleeves of his long-sleeve, squinting at the man across from him while trying to suppress a blush. 

“Oh come on, don’t give me that look. You’re the one who keeps reminding me about my sessions, meds and ointment applications. And you also keep silently nagging me with your weird glares.” 

“I do not.” 

“You do. I’m not complaining though, so thank you for always kicking my ass about it.” The warm smile Sousuke gave him made Haruka’s stomach lurch both pleasantly and uneasily.

“Whatever. That’s good though.”

“Yeah. It’ll only be Fridays and Sundays from now on.” 

Haruka hummed and went back to eating the last bits of food left. 

“So how was your day? Rin told me you guys had a training camp coming up soon?” 

That uneasy feeling was back and Haruka was glad he finished his food before Sousuke brought it up. 

“My day was fine. But yeah. It’s in two weeks. Same place where I went before the All-Japan.”  

“How long will you be gone for?” 

“Three weeks.” 

“Oh.” 

Haruka wasn’t sure if he heard disappointment in Sousuke’s tone, but whatever it was was gone the next second. 

“Aren’t you excited, Haru?” 

“Not really. It’s just training camp.” 

“Are you nervous then?” 

“No.”

“Then why do you seem so… I dunno, worried? Uneasy?”

Was Haruka that obvious or was Sousuke just that good at reading him? 

He just shrugged for the millionth time that day and stood up, gathering his and Sousuke’s plates and utensils, walking over to the sink. 

“Hey, it’s my turn for dishes.” He heard Sousuke protest behind him. 

“I’m already here, it’s fine.”

“You’re just avoiding the question.” 

“I’m not.”

“Then let me do the dishes.”

“No.” 

“Haruka. You did them last time.” 

Haruka sighed. “Fine, go wild.” 

He stepped away from the sink, making way for Sousuke who eyed him suspiciously as he went to work.

“You gonna talk, Nanase?” Sousuke raised a brow, though his eyes were trained on the dishes. 

Haruka made a grumbling noise and leaned on the counter beside Sousuke, keeping his eyes on the ground. 

“Look, you broke a record during the time trials. I get that that’s pressuring and stuff, but you’re no longer alone right? Rin and Kirishima are going to be there and all you have to do is do whatever is best.”

“It’s not… it’s not that. Not really.” Now that Sousuke brought it up, it could be, but he’s right since he wouldn’t be alone in this journey anymore, so he isn’t too worried about it. 

“Are you gonna make me guess?” 

Sousuke was standing in front of him now, drying his hands with a dish towel, his aquamarine eyes raking over Haruka with worry. He sighs again. 

“I wouldn’t be able to go with you…” His voice was quiet and he wasn’t even sure if Sousuke heard him. 

A beat of silence overtook them and it made Haruka look up. He wasn’t prepared to see the soft look in Sousuke’s eyes and it almost knocked the air right out of him. That's twice today already.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” 

He nodded. 

“I’ll be fine, Haruka.” 

Something about the gentleness in Sousuke’s voice did things to Haruka’s heart and he’s not equipped to deal with it right now. 

“I’ve never… missed an appointment with you.” 

“I know and I appreciate that. But at least you’ll only be missing six instead of nine right?” 

“That’s still a lot.”

“You’re pouting.” 

“Am not.”

“You are. But I’ll be okay. If anything, I’ll just call you or something.”

“Will that be enough?” 

“Of course it will. I’m a grown ass man, Haru. Besides, you do more than enough for me regularly.” 

Haruka made an unintelligible noise, hiding a blush and walked to the bathroom, retrieving the ointments for Sousuke’s shoulder.

***

Some documentary about eels was on the TV but neither men were really paying attention to it. Haruka had just finished applying ointments on Sousuke’s shoulder and was now sketching something to warm up while the other was doing his readings for his class the next day. 

Telling Sousuke about what worried Haruka somewhat alleviated the troublesome thoughts he was having, though a part of him still felt bad for being absent. He still wasn’t sure why he was so worried about a simple thing. Normally, he wouldn’t even think about it and just go about his day. It frustrated him to no end, like any other foreign feeling he gets, not really knowing what made him feel that way. Maybe he could ask Makoto or Rin. Or Sousuke since he was right there. But he wasn’t really sure how to go about asking him, so maybe he should text the other two first.

With that decision, Haruka set his things down and pulled out his phone. 

Me: i'm worried about not being able to go with sousuke to his appointments during camp. why?

Matsuoka, Rin: he's gonna be fine.

Me: i know that. that's why i'm asking why i'm still worried. 

Tachibana, Makoto: did you guys talk about it?

Me: yeah, over dinner. he said he'd be fine

Tachibana, Makoto: you don't believe him?

Me: i do. i'm just frustrated because i don't know why i'm still feeling like this. it's annoying. 

Matsuoka, Rin: you're like…. more worried about this than sousuke it's kinda funny lol 

Haruka scoffed at his phone, glaring at it and missed the way Sousuke looked at him curiously.

Me: shut up

Matsuoka, Rin: maybe you're just gonna miss what happens after his sessions. 

Me: what.

Matsuoka, Rin: you guys have been spending A LOT of time together so… maybe you're mistaking your worry for something else. like the fact that you'll miss him . 

Haruka read the message over and over again, appalled and ignoring whatever else Makoto and Rin were sending after that. Surely it couldn't be that. Right?

"You know, if you glare any harder at your phone, whoever you're texting might just feel it." 

He looked up at Sousuke who wore an amused expression. Haruka pouted. 

"Rin said I'm mistaking my worry for the fact that I'll miss you during camp." He said, like it was the most trivial thing. He watched Sousuke make all sorts of expressions in a second and didn’t think he could become so red.

"I–uh…" Sousuke cleared his throat, his eyes looking everywhere else but Haruka, "W-well, is he right..?" 

"I don't know. I've missed people before but it didn't feel like… whatever this is. It's not like when I miss my parents or Rin when he's in Australia. It's different."

Sousuke's expression turned soft and joined Haruka on the floor, sitting next to him. 

"Well, do you know how you're feeling?" 

Haruka scrunched his face, "Obviously not . It's frustrating so I asked Makoto and Rin and they didn't help. See?" 

He showed the prior conversation to Sousuke whose eyes widened at what he was reading. 

"So?" Haruka pressed and Sousuke took a deep, shaky breath to collect himself. 

"Okay, do you trust that I'll be okay going to my appointments alone a couple times?" 

"Yeah. It's just… what if you have a rough one and you need help or something?"

"I'm doing a lot better now, remember? That's why I only have to go twice a week now. Hopefully I won't have to go to any appointments at all if I keep doing well." 

"Hn… Okay." 

"That being said, say I don't have to go to any more appointments. Are you gonna stop coming over?" 

"I–" Was he? Sousuke wouldn't need him anymore, so he didn't really have a reason to keep coming over. Wasn't helping Sousuke his only reason for doing so in the first place? 

The thought of not spending his usual amount of time with Sousuke sent an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. "I… don't want to. Stop coming over, that is." 

Haruka looked at his lap, suddenly feeling shy with his heart beating a little faster. He didn’t see the way Sousuke looked at him with so much adoration, teal eyes shining with intense emotion that it would've been overwhelming if he did. 

"I– yes, okay. That's good. Good. Great. Um. Anyway, why don't you want to stop coming over then?" 

"I like being here." Haruka answered easily. It made Sousuke's heart jump.

"In my apartment?" 

"With you. I like being here with...you. Anywhere." 

Sousuke took a little too long to say anything else and Haruka turned to him to see why. He was met with a soft gaze yet again and a gentle smile that was so rare to see that he made sure to commit it to memory. He blinked owlishly and he was suddenly feeling his face heat up.

"Is… is that weird?" He asked, afraid that maybe he said something out of line.

"No! No… not at all. I just didn't expect that I guess." The panic in Sousuke's voice was endearing since it was so uncharacteristic of him and Haruka had to suppress a smile. "I uh… like spending time with you too, Haru." 

"Oh."

"Yeah ' oh. ' Um, back to uh… topic. Since you feel that way, three weeks without… that . This," Sousuke gestured vaguely between them, "you know, being here together and stuff–"

"You're rambling, Yamazaki."

"Right, sorry," Sousuke shook his head and collected himself, "Okay, don't mind the appointments or anything since we've established that I'll be okay without you accompanying me a couple times. But three weeks without spending time together. Will you miss that ?" 

With that question, things started to make a little more sense to Haruka and internally scolded himself for not realizing sooner since all the signs were basically screaming at his face the whole time. Because yeah, he likes spending time with Sousuke and the thought of being away from him for that long wasn't the best feeling, especially since they spent almost every day together. He liked taking care of Sousuke, he liked watching dumb movies with him, liked making dinner with him or for him, liked their playful banter and quiet moments. He liked seeing Sousuke first thing in the morning whenever he'd sleep over, he liked falling asleep on his shoulder, he liked the simple domesticity between them. He just liked being in his presence. He liked him . 

He liked Sousuke . 

The realization was both dizzying and sobering; the rollercoaster of emotions he went through in just one day gave him enough whiplash to last a lifetime. He also realized he took too long to answer and just stared at Sousuke who was patiently waiting. 

"Yeah, I will." He finally said after clearing his throat. And if Sousuke wasn't waiting for an answer, he might have missed it with how quiet Haruka's voice was. 

Sousuke smiled, "So, was Rin right?" 

"Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that." 

"Yes, let's not feed his already big ego."

Haruka snorted and leaned on Sousuke's good shoulder without thinking; a thing he always did ever since the two of them have been more comfortable with each other. They stayed that way for a while and let the silence envelope them. It was comfortable and familiar in a way that felt like coming home and it was nice. Sousuke wrapped an arm around Haruka's waist, the adjustment making Haruka melt into Sousuke's side more. 

It wasn't exactly the first time they've been close like that, but it felt differently now. Like there was more purpose and feeling to the close proximity. It wasn't bad, but the uncertainty made Haruka scrunch his face in confusion. Maybe it was because he had a whole new revelation. But before he could confront whatever it was, Sousuke softly called out to him.

"Haruka?" 

"Hm?"

"I know I don't say it much, or show it for that matter, but I hope you know that I'm thankful for everything you've done for me. I'm not that… great at expressing things, but I'm glad you're the one I asked to go with me the first time." 

Haruka sucked in a breath and curled into Sousuke a little more, his arm over Sousuke's chest, hand over the fast thumping of his heart, though he knew his was beating just as fast.

"I'm… I'm glad you asked me too." 

Haruka kept his eyes to where his hand on Sousuke's chest was and missed the way his… friend? Crush? looked at him. He sensed that Sousuke wanted to say something else, but instead pulled Haruka closer to him, holding him tightly as if he was afraid to let go. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious, but he also found that what he got in place of words was alright too. 

Whatever it was could wait, he figured. They had time after all, and maybe one day, Haruka will find the proper things to say and do to let Sousuke know of his feelings. 

But for now, the security Sousuke gave him was enough. For now, it let him forget the worries that plagued him all day. And soon, he fell asleep to the steadying beat of Sousuke's heart.

***

“...and they gave me a lighter brace to use. They said my shoulder’s healing nicely and far better than what they expected.”

“That’s good. Are the things they do still as strenuous or what?”

“Yeah. And no, I’m not screaming in pain anymore so that’s a big plus. It feels more like a burning stretch after a good work-out. It started to feel good, actually.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

“So, how's the first week of training camp?”

“Just fine. A lot of clinics about travelling and competitions and whatever. Also too much dryland.” 

“What I’m hearing is, there isn’t much of your precious pool time and you're grumpy about it.”

“Yes.” 

“Well, it’s only the first week. Y’know, introductory stuff.”

“Whatever. Anyway, I have to go, I’m almost at the cafeteria.”

“Okay. Thanks for being on. Text me later?” 

“Maybe.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes at the camera and Haruka suppressed a smile as they ended their video call. 

It was the first Friday of training camp, which is also the first time Haruka missed an appointment with Sousuke. Though, he technically didn’t since Sousuke video called him before and after his session. However, it would be the first time they’re not going to each other’s places to hang out. The past Wednesday was weird enough already, but Sousuke still called him then, if only to check how things were going so far. Rin didn’t stop teasing the both of them until Ikuya threw a pillow at his head, finally having enough of hearing their roommate. 

With a fond sigh, Haruka shoved his phone in his pockets and headed over to grab dinner, feeling a little lighter after seeing Sousuke again, albeit through a screen. 

“Haru! What took you so long?” Rin said as a greeting as Haruka approached their table. 

“I was on the phone.” Haruka took his seat across from Rin and Ikuya. 

“Oh? How was Sousuke’s first appointment without his boyfriend?” 

Haruka almost choked on his first bite of his dinner, swallowing hard and wanted nothing more than to wipe the predatory grin off of Rin’s face. He heard Ikuya suppress a laugh with a cough. He glared at them both.

“I-I’m not his boyfriend.” 

“Haru, you’re never on your phone unless it’s Yamazaki.” Ikuya helpfully provided. 

“I talk to Makoto.” 

“Makoto doesn’t count. If you don’t reply to him at least once, he’d probably send out a search party. C’mon Haruka, you and Sousuke are both my best friends and not once, in my years of knowing you guys, have you looked at anyone the way you look at each other. It’s so obvious even through your video calls.” 

And before Haruka could retort, his phone beeped, indicating an incoming message. He already knew who it was from by the specific notification sound he set for a specific person. Rin raised a brow and Ikuya was staring at him expectantly like they also knew who was texting Haruka. He wanted to ignore it, he really did. 

But of course, another message followed. 

Haruka relented, taking out his phone while his two friends’ eyes lit up in mischief, quickly situating themselves behind him, looking over his shoulder. He glared at them before unlocking his phone. 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: i got home and found your hoodie behind the couch

Yamazaki, Sousuke: still smells like you. 

Haruka’s face heated up.

“Oh my god.” He heard Rin to his right. 

“Haru. I feel like you guys are already dating and just don’t know it yet.” Ikuya said to his left. 

“Do you both mind?” Haruka finally says, turning his screen away after regaining his bearings. The other two grumbled but obeyed anyway. 

Me: miss me already, yamazaki? 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: and if i said yes?

Me: then i’d say i miss you too

Yamazaki, Sousuke: sure looks like it. 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: [attached image]

It was a photo of Haruka blushing and smiling at his phone as he texted Sousuke back. He looked up and glared at Rin who was holding up his phone as if to take another picture. Ikuya was acting like he was oblivious to the whole ordeal and Haruka just huffed. 

Me: if rin or ikuya don't come back from training camp alive, don't ask any questions. 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: but you look adorable. it almost looks like you like me

Me: funny guy, you are. 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: you're not denying it though

Me: i need to finish my dinner otherwise im not texting you again later

Yamazaki, Sousuke: ooo will you call instead? 

Me: bye sousuke

Haruka put his phone away and angrily ate his dinner while he listened to Rin ramble and Ikuya grumble. They eventually went over their schedule for the upcoming week while they finished their food, discussing what they'd work on during their individual practice with their personal coaches and if they wanted to fit in joint practice between them (which they did.) Luckily for Haruka, the rest of the night went by without incident since the three of them had been so engrossed in their discussion. 

When they went back to their room, the trio went about their nightly routine until they all plopped down on their beds after a long day of clinics, hardcore dryland training and very little pool time. The whole week was like that and they could already feel it in their constantly aching muscles. The only person who seemed to thrive off of it between the three of them was Rin. The bastard. 

They chatted idly for a while and Haruka didn't notice himself drifting off, the fatigue catching up to him, and didn't get to read the messages that came to him as he fell asleep.

Yamazaki, Sousuke: are you gonna call?

Yamazaki, Sousuke: or are you too tired?

Yamazaki, Sousuke: nvm, got my answer from rin lol

Yamazaki, Sousuke: [attached image] 

Yamazaki, Sousuke: cute. goodnight, haru. 

***

Rin woke up to a pillow attacking him the next day.

***

It's two weeks into the training camp and Haruka wonders if he's really swimming freely. It's an exhilarating feeling, finally taking the steps towards a dream, but damn. Even Rin was on the brink of death on days where Coach Mikhail was feeling particularly chippy. Coach Ryuuji was just plain evil and liked to watch Haruka be tortured in the very thing he loves. Ikuya seemed to be enjoying watching his friends suffer a little more than he did, but his own coach gives him a fair share of hell too. 

Haruka hasn't even had a proper bath either, or had the chance to just leisurely float in the pool and it's killing him. Yeah, his times are improving significantly, and yeah, he's building more muscles and eating a more balanced diet (though still sneaking in some mackerel,) but at what cost? His sanity? The only thing keeping him sane is the water and Sousuke (not that he'll admit that yet.) 

"You seem like you're enjoying it though."

"You don't know that." 

"Your eyes do the sparkly thing every time you complain. As gruelling as it sounds, you're having fun." 

Sousuke's right. As hard as training camp has been, he was having a good time even though each set of work-outs and training regimens put a damper on his sanity, but Haruka didn't need to give him the satisfaction of being right. He rolled his eyes.

"Not really. How about you? How's classes and stuff."

"I want to slam my head against the desk every fucking time. And I have so much fucking readings to do all the time and they're all so boring and I haven't even had the time to cook proper meals. The only thing I've got going on is the fact that my shoulder doesn't seem like such a burden anymore." 

"Bad classes aside, that's good. Have you been keeping up with your medicine? Ointments? Stretches?" 

"Yes, Haruka. It's not like you remind me every day or anything." 

Haruka glares. 

"Sorry, sorry," Sousuke chuckled, the kind that made Haruka's stomach flip, "But yes. I'm maintaining just fine. Maybe not eating proper meals, but I make sure to eat something ." 

"Okay." 

"Rin and Kirishima asleep?"

"Ikuya is. Rin's in the shower."

"Ah. Okay. By the way, you get back next Saturday, right?"

"Yeah." 

"Morning?"

"Afternoon. Why?"

"Can I pick you up?" 

Haruka raised a brow, "You don't have to, but sure, if you want." 

"I want to. Wait, you don't have plans after right?"

"Not really. I just need to finish an assignment for Japanese Literature."

"Okay. Come over and work on it at my place? I can drop by yours to get your things before I come get you."

"Sure." 

" Sousuke. Why aren't I invited?!" A new voice exclaimed.

Rin decided to appear beside Haruka, flinging his arm over his shoulders as it always did when he's within proximity, freshly washed hair dripping all over the both of them. 

"Because you just whine about the work you're not doing." 

"Just say you miss Haru and want some alone time and go."

"Rin, you're dripping all over me."

"Shut up, you like it."

Okay, maybe Haruka didn't mind the tiny drops of cool water on him, but Rin didn't need to know that, especially when he interrupted his only source of peace.

"We can hang out next Sunday if you really want."

"Yes. Please, I need to unwind after this camp. It's absolute insanity here."

"You like it."

"At first, Haru, at first. " 

Sousuke let out a fond laugh at his two friends and Haruka wished he could record it and keep it as a ringtone or something. 

"Well, I'll let you both sleep now. 5AM start tomorrow, right?" 

"Yup." Rin answered while Haruka just grunted with much exasperation. 

"One more week, Haruka. You'll be fine." 

"Whatever." 

"Alright. Goodnight, Rin."

"Bye, Sou!"

"Oh and Haru, my appointment is an hour earlier tomorrow, will I still be able to call you beforehand?"

"I'm not sure actually. But I'll text you if anything. But I can call after your appointment for sure."

"Okay, thanks. Night, Haru."

"Night." 

Haruka hung up and set his alarm before plugging his phone in to charge. He was trying very, very hard not to look at Rin who was wearing the most teasing, shit-eating grin known to man. 

"You guys are disgustingly domestic, you know that?" He said.

"We're not."

"I'm just sayin’!"

"Hn…"

"Okay, okay, I'll stop teasing. It's just… it's nice to see you both so happy, you know?" 

Haruka's eyes widened and Rin's sudden sentimental words almost gave him whiplash. "Rin…"

"Especially since, y'know, the bad blood between you two back then. And I haven't seen Sousuke this happy in a while, especially with all that's going on. Even with you, you're a lot more relaxed and everything– talking more, even. I'm just happy for you guys." 

"You're saying that like we're dating." Haruka pouted and Rin just shrugged and smiled at him as if he knew something the other didn't. 

"G'night, Haru." 

"... Night." 

As tired as Haruka was that day, he didn't sleep until an hour later, thinking about his furiously growing feelings for the last person he ever thought about having feelings for. 

***

Sousuke is a patient man. A required trait when someone is best friends with Matsuoka Rin. He would even say he's more patient nowadays ever since he got closer to a certain freestyle swimmer who was the very definition of stubborn, especially when said man usually forgot he had a phone. So really, he shouldn't be fretting over a text that never came. 

He had half an hour until his Sunday physical therapy session and he still hadn't heard from Haruka besides his morning reminder about his medication. He figured that Haruka might still be occupied and unable to get to his phone. He did get a warning last night and Sousuke thinks he's just nervous since this would be the first time he didn't have Haruka with him one way or another before an appointment. 

He made his way to the clinic, constantly checking his phone for any new messages as he walked, even though he'd feel and hear when he'd get one. He shouldn't be that bothered by it, given Haruka's phone habits, but he had been texting Sousuke more often since camp started. And they've been on the phone daily– which is the most phone time Haruka had, probably all year. Maybe he'd gotten used to that and is getting antsy. Maybe he was feeling a little spoiled by Haruka and he was just greedy. Or maybe he should just accept that he missed him in general. 

Sousuke sighed as he entered the clinic and went about his usual check-in and took his seat in the waiting area. He took his phone out and mindlessly scrolled through it, hovering over his and Haruka's messages and decided to send a quick one. He did have twenty minutes to spare anyway. 

Me: hey, i'm at the clinic now. make sure you're eating properly

And seeing that he's unable to stop wondering where Haruka is, he decided to ask others.

Me: question

Makoto: no, i haven't heard from haru (^～^;)ゞ

Me: reading other people's minds is rude

Makoto: you literally only text me to ask where haru is

Me: touché

Makoto: try rin if you can't get through to haru. or even ikuya

Me: i'll try rin first. thanks

And so he tried.

Me: question

RinRin: hello to you too best friend whom i love so dearly, i appreciate the kind greeting you have bestowed upon me

Me: what the fuck. anyway, is haru with you?

RinRin: man, here i thought you cared about me (╥﹏╥)

RinRin: jk. no, he's with his coach. got out of the pool before everyone else actually

Me: oh. is he ok?

RinRin: i think so. his coach probably had things to discuss or smt, idunno. need me to take his place to call u in the meantime?

Me: sure. could use the distraction.

Not even a second later, Rin rang and his ever lively voice graced Sousuke's ears. It almost made him feel guilty that he doesn't call his best friend more often.

"Miss your boyfriend already?" 

Sousuke doesn't feel as guilty anymore. "Not my boyfriend." 

"Both of you are dumb as fuck. Anyway, how long till your appointment?"

"A little less than fifteen minutes."

"You okay?" Rin's tone was more serious than the teasing one he had just seconds ago.

"Yeah. It's just… weird without Haruka." 

"He lets you call him by his full first name?" 

"Yes?" Sousuke wasn't sure why Rin sounded so appalled, but then again, Rin was always dramatic.

"My fuckin' god. Just date already."

Sousuke frowned, "It's not that I don't want to. I don't even know if he dates." 

"First of all, congratulations for finally admitting your feelings, second of all, you're dense as hell and that's rich coming from me. You made Haruka use his phone consistently. He even checks it every five minutes whenever you're busy, hoping you'd text him or something. He even changed his training schedule way back just so that he could go with you to your appointments! He's actually going out of his own way to care for you and you think the feeling isn't mutual?" 

Wait what? "Wait what?"

"Were you not listening?!" 

"No, no. I was. Say that last part again?"

"Going out of his–"

"Before that."

"Oh, Haru adjusting his schedule?"

All this time, Sousuke thought that Haruka's schedule lined up with his by fortunate coincidence. He didn't know the swimmer had changed his times to work around Sousuke's. He didn't even think Haruka cared enough about him to do something like that, especially with how he treated him in high school.

"He really did that?" 

"He didn't tell you?"  

An overwhelming feeling of affection for Haruka washed over him like a tsunami and wanted nothing more than to bring him into his arms and keep him there. 

"Coach Ryuuji was surprisingly okay with it. He just added another day of training though, but nothing bad. Sorry, I thought you knew. Ah– he probably didn't wanna tell you because he knew it'd make you feel bad or something. Fuck, sorry, please don't tell him." 

Rin's whine made Sousuke chuckle, but all he could think about was coming to terms with just how much he loves Haruka. He really, really loves Haruka.

He apparently said it out loud though. 

"Disgusting. Here I thought I was the romantic one but it was Haru this whole time. Dammit, of course , it's like th–yeah one sec–okay, I gotta go down for clinic. Text me later, yeah?"

"Thanks for calling me, Rin."

"Sure. Call me next time. Damn."

Rin hung up and Sousuke almost forgot where he was until his name was called. But he wasn't as tense as he was the past few appointments. He felt light and had a bounce to his step when he walked up to his doctor.

***

Sousuke’s appointment didn’t take the full hour and a half. Just a few stretches and laser therapy, nothing strenuous that would almost put him to tears. Naturally, he still had that slight spring to his step. He decided to walk home and enjoy his extra time to bask in the cool morning. 

When his phone rang a familiar, unique tune, he couldn't stop the grin from spreading on his face. 

"Haruka." 

"Hi. Sorry I couldn't call you earlier." Haruka's voice sounded tired and groggy, like he had napped accidentally. 

"S'okay. Rin took your spot." 

"Replacing me already?" 

"Never." Sousuke breathed out a laugh and sighed, "You okay though?"

"I should be asking you that."

"I asked first." 

He heard Haruka sigh and could almost see the accompanying eye-roll, "I'm fine. Just an off day, so Coach pulled me out earlier to rest so I napped and just woke up." 

"Catch a cold or something?" 

"I do not catch colds." 

"Uhuh… well, hopefully you feel better tomorrow."

"I'm fine ...It's dryland tomorrow."

"Sucks to be you then."

"Whatever. So? How was PT?" 

"Good! They didn't even use the whole hour and a half." 

"Always a good si–" Haruka was cut off by a sneeze and Sousuke had to stop himself from telling Haruka how adorable it was. "–sign. Sorry. Are you home?" 

Not sick my ass, Sousuke thought. 

"Bless you. And yes, I just walked through my door."

"Okay. Make sure to eat and shower. Then do your ointments right after you dry off."

"Yes, Haruka. You're extra bossy when you're sick."

"I'm not sick."

"Whatever you say."

They talked through their late lunch about the randomest things, from their mornings to the weird ad Sousuke saw when he was scrolling through his phone. They weren’t sure how long they’d been talking until Sousuke heard Haruka’s steady breathing, indicating that he had fallen asleep. He wanted nothing more than to be beside him, especially with the sobering realization of his feelings towards the stubborn man. 

“Sousuke?” A new voice broke Sousuke out of his reverie. 

“Rin?”

“Yeah. Haru fell asleep but I think you knew that.” 

“Yeah. Is he sick?” 

“Mm. I think so? He doesn’t have a fever so he should be fine by tomorrow, hopefully. Probably his body telling him to slow down.” 

“Okay. Take care of him, will you?”

“Obviously. Makoto would kill me and now you too. Anyway, Haru’s phone is dying so I’m gonna go and charge it.”

“Alright. Thanks, Rin.” 

***

It’s been four days. 

Four days.  

Four days of radio silence from Haruka and Sousuke feels like he should’ve asked for a search party. But even Rin wasn’t responding to his messages as often, much less Ikuya who he rarely talks to willingly. All he got was one text from Haruka three days ago that said he was tired and that he felt like dying. Sousuke figured that the last week of training was more hell to them than the second week and were all too tired to do anything besides meet their basic human needs. 

But still, he worried, especially with the knowledge that Haruka was treading the line between being sick and healthy the last time they spoke over the phone. Honestly, he shouldn’t be this worked up over it. He lived most of his life disliking Haruka and barely had contact with him until they all moved to Tokyo. His crush wasn’t even good at being on his phone in the first place. He should be used to it; should be used to the absence of the other. 

The problem is, he doesn’t want to get used to it. 

He thinks he’s wasted enough time not spending time with Haruka. Now that he’s had the chance to know what it was like to constantly be in his presence, he didn’t want to be without it. It didn’t matter if it was through technology or whatever, he just wanted the reassurance that he’s there. That he’s–

“Sousuke!” 

Makoto’s raised voice brought Sousuke back to Earth, blinking up at him. They were currently at the Marron doing homework together since their respective best friends were off dying somewhere and threw their phones away or something.  

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve called your name like, three times.”

“Oh, sorry. What’s up?”

“I was just gonna say that Rin texted me.”

Sousuke raised a brow and Makoto handed his phone over, showing his recent conversation with Rin. 

Rin: hey, since you’re basically haru’s emergency contact, just wanted to let you know he went home this morning. got real sick and feverish. he was supposed to go home way earlier but he was confined in the infirmary here since he was pretty much bed-ridden. It's been hell and Ikuya and I are starting to feel like shit too. honestly i think there's something coming around because even the coaches are all woozy and shit.

A storm of worry rained down on Sousuke and he couldn’t even hide it. He slid Makoto’s phone back to him hastily.

“You know, I think it’s sweet that you’re this worried about Haru and‒” Makoto starts, but Sousuke barely hears him as he hastily packs his stuff up.

“‒Aaaand you’re packing up." 

Sousuke will apologize to Makoto later. Right now, he needs to drop by the konbini and get anything else Haruka might need before he finally gets to Haruka’s apartment as soon as possible.  

"Good talk, say hi to Haru for me!” Makoto called out from behind, which Sousuke returned with a half-assed wave.

The trip there was a blur of purchases, weaving through people, half-jogging through the streets and almost bumping into things. It was a surprise that he even made it in front of Haruka's door in one piece. 

Sousuke took a deep breath to collect himself and reached for the doorknob, expecting the usual unlocked door from Haruka's bad habit of leaving it that way. 

It was locked. 

He raised a brow in question, but reached for his keys, finding the spare key Haruka had given him a few months back. The memory sends an untimely flutter of butterflies in his stomach. He unlocked the door and walked in, taking in the usual dimness of the apartment. Sousuke didn't bother calling out for Haruka since he knew that he wouldn't get a response and just beelined to his room. 

It's empty. 

"What." He said out loud. 

He checked the bathroom.

Nothing. 

Frantically, he managed to call Rin and was relieved when he finally picked up.

"Yo."

"I thought Haruka went home." 

"A greeting would be nice every once in a while."

"Rin." Sousuke couldn't help the urgency in his voice.

"Sorry. He did, why?"

"I'm in his very empty apartment." 

"Uh… You checked the bathroom?"

"Obviously."

"Huh. I know for a fact that he could barely walk on his own so I doubt he ventured off somewhere. You wanna ask Coach Ryuuji? He's the one that took Haru home."

"Please."

"Okay, I'll text you his number.”

“Thanks, Rin.” 

“No problem, lover boy.”

“Ugh.” 

Sousuke hung up while Rin laughed on the other line. He barely waited a second before Rin texted him Coach Ryuuji’s number. He shot a quick reply of thanks and didn’t hesitate to call the newly acquired number. 

“Hello?” A confused, deep voice filled his ears. 

“Uh, hi, sorry. I’m a friend of Haruka’s and got your number from Rin. I heard he went home and I just wanted to check on him.”

“Oh. Yeah, I dropped him off at his apartment.”

“Um… what address did he give?”

“[Sousuke’s address here.] Why?”

“Ah, nothing, I went to his parents’ place instead,” He lied, “Thank you, sir!” 

“Sure.”

They hung up and Sousuke wasted no time gathering his stuff and sprinted out the door, making his way to his apartment. Why Haruka gave his address was beyond him, but at least he’s somewhere Sousuke can properly take care of him.

***

For a moment, Sousuke considers trying out for the university track team because this was the fastest he’s rushed anywhere and is slightly impressed by it . Pushing that aside, he quietly opens the door, noticing it unlocked because of course it was and makes a mental note to scold Haruka about his door habits when he’s better. 

Sousuke goes straight to his bedroom and sees a lump on his bed buried in layers of blankets. He smiles and walks over with quiet steps and sits on the side, pulling the covers down just enough to expose Haruka’s head. He pushes his fringe off to the side and notices just how high Haruka’s temperature is. Sousuke moves to get up and grab a damp towel but is stopped when he hears his name being called.

“Sou…?” Haruka’s voice was quiet and hoarse and Sousuke probably should have gotten the things he needed first, but he stayed by Haruka’s side instead. 

“Hey.”

“What’re you doing here?” 

“You’re in my room, idiot.”

“Huh?”

“You gave your coach my address instead of yours.”

“What? Why would… why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, Haruka, why would you?” 

Haruka stares at him, genuinely confused, and rubs sleep out his eyes as if it would clear his head better. 

“I’ll get you water and medicine, okay? You can question things later,” Sousuke says, already getting up, not waiting for a reply because he knows he’s weak and would stay if Haruka asked. He didn’t take long though and got back in less than five minutes with everything he bought Haruka from the store as well as a damp towel to put over his forehead. 

The little lump on his bed was asleep when he got back and worked quietly around him, gently patting Haruka’s face with the small towel before eventually placing it on his forehead. He put the water bottle and medicine on the side table and just sat on the side of the bed. 

“Not sick my ass…” Sousuke whispered under his breath, “you had me worried, you know?” 

“...m’sorry…” Haruka mumbles, his words slurring together, “loveyou…”

Sousuke is stunned, his brain short-circuiting in ways he didn’t know were possible. He wasn’t sure if Haruka was fully awake or if he’s in a weird delirious state from his fever. He’s not even sure if he heard him right, his mind supplying doubts and irrational explanations. He wants to ask, but he also doesn’t want to wake him in case he is asleep. 

Calm down, idiot. He tells himself, willing for his heart to stop running a marathon since he’s done enough of that today. Sousuke takes a deep breath and sighs, running a hand down his face before he turns to look at Haruka’s peaceful one. 

“If you really said what I think you said, then, I love you, too. But I’ll wait to tell you that when you’re more awake,” his words were quiet enough that he, himself, could barely hear it. He gets up and moves the towel on Haruka’s forehead, replacing it with a soft, gentle kiss before putting it back. 

Sousuke goes to his living room and plops down on his couch, finally being able to breathe properly after everything that happened the past hour or so. He lets out the longest sigh he’s ever sighed and pulls out his phone, deciding that he should probably call Makoto and apologize for running out on him. 

“Hello?”

“Makoto, hey.”

“Sousuke! Are you with Haru?”

“Yeah, he’s at my place.” 

“Oh?”

“He gave my address instead of his for some reason.”

“Oh! I see, well, at least he’s somewhere safe and in good hands.”

“Yeah. Um, I also uh, wanted to apologize for running out on you earlier…” 

“Haha, it’s okay, I understand. I’m just glad someone cares about Haru like you do.” 

Sousuke chuckles nervously, “W-well… anyway, he’s a bit feverish but he should be okay.”

“I know he will be, thanks to you! Anyway, I gotta go study. Update me, yeah?”

“Of course. Bye, Makoto.” 

After they hang up, Sousuke stares at the ceiling in hopes that he can clear his head. It was easy for him to say his feelings knowing that Haruka wasn’t conscious enough to hear or even understand him. A part of him knows exactly what Haruka mumbled in delirium, but the other part thinks he’s just being too hopeful. Though, he’s waited long enough and thinks that it’s time to face things head on if only to avoid any more conflicting emotions within himself, to be more honest. Especially when it comes to Haruka. 

With renewed resolve, he gets off the couch and walks back to his room and finds Haruka sitting up with a half-empty water bottle in hand.

***

Haruka wakes up with his throat feeling dry but he can’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet. He doesn’t even know where he is exactly. His consciousness the past twenty-four hours has been blurry and vague almost as if he was having an out of body experience. His head is throbbing and blindly reaches up and feels the towel on his forehead. It’s only then he opens his eyes, blinking away any remnants of sleep he had, taking his time to fully wake up. 

He looks around the dim room, a little confused since expected to see his own and not Sousuke’s. He sees the water bottle and medicine on the side table and takes it, deciding that he will question things after he’s hydrated and medicated. Haruka downs half the bottle and breathes heavily, not realizing how thirsty he really was, but thankful that his throat doesn’t feel like a dry desert anymore. He hears the door open and looks up to find Sousuke there with a look of mild surprise. 

Sousuke offers him a small smile and Haruka thinks his fever is getting worse from how hot he suddenly feels. He only watches as the other walks over and sits on the side of the bed, bringing a cool hand up to Haruka’s forehead and sighs at the small relief it gives. 

“How you feeling?” Sousuke asks, his voice gentle and warm. 

“Horrible,” Haruka’s voice sounds nasally and hoarse. It was almost foreign to him.

“Drink more if you have to. You hungry? I bought some okayu since I thought I wouldn’t have time to make some. I can heat it up if you want.”

“Later…” 

“Okay.”

“Why am I in your room?”

“You really don’t know…” 

“I wouldn’t ask if I did now, would I?”

“Damn, you’re even sassier when you’re sick.”

Haruka pouts and glares while Sousuke just chuckles.

“Okay, okay. Your coach brought you here since it was the address you gave.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t home when he brought you though. I was studying with Makoto when Rin texted him saying you went home early. I went to yours first, but you weren’t there. You were briefly conscious earlier and asked why you’d give my address instead of yours.”

“Oh.”

Haruka looked down at the water bottle in his hands as if it would give him answers. Though he realizes what probably happened on his way home. 

“I think I know,” he mumbles, not even sure if Sousuke heard.

“Yeah?”

“I missed you and I think I wanted to get to you as soon as I could…” 

Haruka looks up at Sousuke and is met with the soft gaze he missed so much and his heart clenches at the sight. Sousuke moves closer and brings a hand up to cup Haruka’s cheek. He leans into the touch, savouring it after being away from the familiarity for so long. 

“I missed you, too.”

He finally manages a small smile that Sousuke returns. The latter leans their foreheads together and closes his eyes while his other hand reaches for the other side of Haruka’s face and takes a deep breath, sighing out his name.

Haruka reaches up and holds on to Sousuke’s hands with what little strength he has. His smile grows, “You’ll get sick, idiot,” he scolds, but doesn’t move away.

“I don’t care. I’ve waited too long.”

“Sousuke…”

“There’s a lot of things I want to say to you.”

“I know, I do too.”

Sousuke moves back a bit, tilting Haruka’s head up so that they’re gazing right in each other’s eyes that are sparkling with everything they want to convey. It leaves Haruka breathless and he knows it’s not because he’s sick. 

“I just don’t know where to start…” Sousuke says.

“Your eyes said enough.”

Sousuke tilts his head in amusement, “What did they say then?”

“The same things I want to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Okay, but don’t blame me if your dumbass gets sick.”

Sousuke just grins and leans in, finally closing the little distance between them. Haruka feels like he could breathe again when he feels soft lips on his and smiles, feeling the other do the same. The kiss was gentle and needy all the same, both of them trying to convey everything they didn’t have to say. It was an addicting feeling–the way they just fit together, the taste of Sousuke’s lips, the closeness, the warmth. It’s freeing and Haruka didn’t want it to end, thinking that oxygen is irrelevant. Though the need for it got stronger the more they lost themselves in each other. 

They finally part and a satisfied smile graces their features. 

“Is it too early to say I love you?”

“With how long we waited, I think it’s due.”

“Then, I love you, Sousuke.”

“I love you, too, Haruka.”

Sousuke pulls them down onto the bed and brings the blankets over them. Haruka buries himself in Sousuke’s arms, finally having his safe haven around him after nearly three weeks of being without it. A content sigh escapes him as he feels a kiss on the top of his head before finally drifting off to sleep.