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Here, a length of copper guttering, a cracked clump of ornate stucco, a periwinkle minaret. There, a glistening fountain and half a marble staircase, capsized. In the distance, a gossamer moon orbits a leering alabaster death mask. The entire mindscape is bathed in a beguiling crimson light.
The thousand floating fragments lurch wildly from their weary suspension. At the edge of the ruined portico, Phaedra cannot hold him.
See, his pale hands are slipping.
He is a proud, insufferable, vulnerable, wonderful Arbonian marked for death. She will never pity another, as long as her brief life lasts. Her voice cracks out:
“Colonel, don’t go. Don’t leave me!”
He smiles, defiantly.
“You know I’ve been gone a long time now.”
Phaedra shakes her head violently, her pink fringe flopping down.
“No! I don’t care what happened. We can still be together, here, in this place.”
The visor obscures the Colonel’s coral eyes. When he looks up, his face is soft, and sad.
“You don’t have the chakra to anchor me and defeat Eris. Birmingham needs your power. It needs the power of the Lightforce Trout.”
Phaedra strangles a keening cry though gritted teeth. She speaks with childlike indignation.
“What’s the point in fighting if we can’t be together?”
He splays his hands in an indecipherable gesture.
“Restore the world.”
And with that, Colonel Baps falls upwards, disintegrating, into the moon.
She rises from her knees. Her war-scarred hands, clenched. Her tail, alert. Her face, set. A dark circle appears on the floor, is joined by another, and another, and another, until Phaedra’s tears have soaked the ground through. With a thunderclap, the mindscape contracts, its surrogate reality faltering.
The sky swims, the sea burns, the dead scream and the living pray for death. Fat drops of acid plummet from the sky; eat maggoty holes in skin and stone alike. The rotten heart of empire. Aberdeen.
Our hero turns to face the Empress. Fire is in her eyes.
“My name is Phaedra Delphinius. You have stolen the one most precious to me, and I will make you pay.”
She bellows the incantation:
“CARFAX. ARISTOTLE. UGANDA!”
A burst of light, and gills appear on Phaedra’s neck. Her bloodline’s ceremonial war tattoo rises like a bruise to her face, and two tall, ethereal fins sprout in turn from each of her shoulder blades.
Eris throws her scarlet head back and laughs. In an instant, she shadowsteps behind Phaedra and delivers a crushing backhand blow to the base of her neck, ploughing her thirty feet through the dirt and into a Doric column which dutifully explodes.
Silence. And then -
Eris’ eyes bulge outwards; neck gripped from behind. There’s a sound like the stretching of leather.
“It seems you underestimate me.”
Eris smiles, cheerfully. She shoots Phaedra a sly glance.
“Your technique has improved, I’ll grant you that. But you’re still no goddess. Did you forget the prophecy? No mortal’s hand will ever stay my hatred.”
Phaedra pulls Eris round by the shoulder to face her, still gripping at her neck. She roars and leans in close enough her lashes brush the bridge of Eris’ nose.
“Just watch me”.
***
Nepeta stopped the playback and stretched her arms out, yowling. She dragged the slider back and went to watch the whole scene yet again; thought better of it and switched tabs with her thumbnail.
On her lap flailed Baps and Phaedra. Surrounding them was a mindscape which was quite possibly, and almost certainly, really awful. Nepeta tapped at the half-finished doodle with her stylus and bit at the side of her hand. What had once been a gazebo had morphed into a pie; a similar alchemy turned balustrades to chitinsticks and levelled parks into a formless, doughy, mess. Maybe she ought to scratch the whole thing out, start work on an AU where Phaedra had traumatic memories of bakery instead.
Fic: Phaedra is apprenticed at birth to blubberbeast from baking collective in S2E03. She uses her monster powers to create the most delicious cakes in Sector 6. But what’s this? Her dream of performing the Ultimate Bake are hampered by dashing young rivals Baps and Eriphyle! As darkness falls on Sector 6, how will Phaedra thwart the sinister schemes of Eris, evil Empress of Aberdeen Confectionary Incorporated?
Pros: Amazing in every way
Cons: ???
Nepeta’s hungersack protested. It was probably time to eat. She lifted the tablet off her thighs, stood up, and placed it slowly on the dresser with a surprising air of finality.
Nepeta had no need for gifts or money. What she didn’t have in her cave was easy to obtain. Her food and clothes were the flesh and skins of beasts; the veldt was her larder and wardrobe. She recalled with a chuckle the carpenter droid which finished her hive. When she dismissed it after a handful of changes it had raised its arms in an exasperated sort of fashion. It had pottered and puzzled and finally slunk away like a chastened little critter, puffing oily smoke.
And yet, last sweep, she’d exchanged some pelts for ArtBux, advised by a fellow forumite of World of Arts & Craft. The plan had been to trade it into Spark, the in-game currency, and from there to buy some first-tier tools to help improve her output. She’d been saving up assiduously, until the day she’d seen that dresser. Not that she needed somewhere to store her clothes. They were often caked in blood and dust, it’s true, but they were simple enough to clean. No, it was decorated with astonishing scenes from Monstrous Upstart Phaedra, Nepeta’s new obsession. She bought it next day, much to her friend’s amusement. The dresser arrived soon after. Its palette clashed grotesquely with her cave’s.
For the first few weeks Nepeta stared wistfully at the dresser and lost all track of time, motionless save for the occasional mew. It was, at once, the most beautiful and most atrocious work of art she’d ever seen. Beautiful, for what it promised about romance and fantasy and justice. Atrocious, for what it meant about the world at large. It was better than catnip. It was worse than a call to arms.
Nepeta thought back to her sketch and felt funny in the guts. She squatted down and cut the last meat out of her oldest kill. She scooped this up in her arms and heaped it onto the flat rock countertop. It smelt rather high. She pared the fat and the gristle from the flesh and flicked it off into a small ceramic pot. Next, she sliced the slabs of flesh into slender strips with her index finger, working from top to bottom. Slice, slice, slice, slice. Nepeta stooped down and washed her hands in an alluvial trough below. They shook a little.
She consulted her recipe. Cooking, too, was a fairly novel endeavour, but one which had grown into a pet project and favoured way to relax. She fetched down an oilskin from a hook in the rock and measured out a few handfuls into the small pot. Licking her fingers, she laid the fat pouch out to one side, and headed through the curtain which marked the eastern exit.
Her garden was small, but serviceable. Stakes sunk deep discouraged all but the most foolhardy of creatures. Nepeta stalked over to the furthest of her plots. She paused a moment, silhouetted in the half-light of a hundred captive glowbugs. She wiggled. Tongue plastered fast against her upper lip, she pounced, claws sinking their full lengths loamward. With a flourish, she unearthed one bulb, then two, until she had amassed a small mound of stinking, twitching, ovoid things. She promptly took the lot inside and dumped them on the counter.
Preparing unguids was a joyless task. They squealed and farted as Nepeta reduced them to slices of wet, rubbery matter, and she found her mind wondering back to Phaedra.
How purrgressive is MUP? The gender balance is good, and there’s examples of women as soldiers and men in high office (though most of them are warriors too, which is sad). MUP is a really strong critique of empire and probably the whole art team would have been culled if it wasn’t for the other aspects of the story (lead animator Fara, noooo!) Caste is where it gets a bit purrblematic. Phaedra’s most powerful technique is channelling the high bloodline limit of the Lightforce Trout, and Eris has a red face. Fur crying out loud, even a wiggler could see the politics of that one.
Phaedra is interesting (and pretty!) Her affinity for the beasts and the monsters is that old stereotype of a woman as prime hunter (yeah I am SO subversive) but! The way she uses her powers to protect order and expand the territory of the Resistance is very masculine. The way she has the powers of multiple creatures is interesting ‘cause it makes her a kind of everytroll and also it suggests that trolls of all castes should be able to work together as equals (maybe?)
Baps is probably my fave character after Phaedra. SO cool that he makes the first move to become moirails. Also interesting how the series really revolves around Phaedra/Baps as the core pairing, without doing the whole will-they-wont-they-flush that happens in every other drama nowadays. At least, I GUESS that Phaedra/Baps is the core pairing, you could probably argue that Phaedra/Eris is but it’s a pretty unstable arrangement and kind of squicky if you think about it.
Studio Mara totally know their fans; all the ships are made of solid gold. Even the minor characters are really well drawn (Draco is so cute, so should have read some more Draco/Baps while I got the chance) and you just know they expanded the role of Agatha because of the outpurring of fanlove after the season 1 finale. LOVE Agatha’s theme and the music this time round is fantastic. I don’t know who Mara hired as a composer, but those troll choruses are just. amazing. It must be so hard to be a troll musician… I can’t even get drawings riiiiiiiiiiiiiaow!
Nepeta dropped the unguid. A large blob of chartreuse welled up from her right palm; an unnecessary reminder. She swiftly lapped it up: the taste was bitter, but rich.
It tastes just like Terezi’s
The unguid rolled onto the floor, desperately rocking itself to safety. Nepeta hooked it up, diced it, added its body to the others, and added these to a deep ceramic pot in which she’d laid the meat. These were quickly coated with a few liberal lashings from the oilskin, which she returned to the wall, and a mixture of herbs, picked capriciously from some storage jars. It happened that there were a few unguids left over, so Nepeta placed these into the smaller pot instead. Washing her hands, she dialled the furnace to a moderate heat, and set both pots inside.
It would be a while before dinner was ready. Nepeta bit her hand, went back to the dresser, picked up the tablet and opened Trollian.
AC: :33 equius, are you there??
CT: D --> Yes
AC: :33 like i told you befur
AC: :33 i really n33d your help
AC: :33 sooo are you going to help me or not?
CT: D --> I have rendered sufficient assistance
CT: D --> You e%pect too much
AC: :33 i really apurrciate all that you've done so fur
AC: :33 but what i n33d most of all is you
AC: :33 i n33d you to come with me, equius
AC: :33 i can't do this alone
CT: D --> 100k
CT: D --> I understand the fi% you are in
CT: D --> But the source of this problem is that lower-caste rabble who have brainwashed you
CT: D --> They have filled your impressionable little head full of their e%ecrable nonsense
AC: :33 uhhh not this again
AC: :33 do i have to explain everything from scratch
CT: D --> There was a time when you would heed your moirail's instru%ions
CT: D --> I remember it fondly
CT: D --> I protected you from the weakness of character that made you prone to the manipulations of others
CT: D --> That horrible naivety so typical to those of your b100d
AC: :33 uggggggh
CT: D --> Be quiet
CT: D --> I stopped you from getting killed in that e%treme roleplaying game
CT: D --> I pulled strings after the debacle with that seditious messaging board
CT: D --> And yet you actually see fit to heed the advice of those subversives
CT: D --> That radical artistic mob you're in cahoots with
CT: D --> They have planted this 100rid notion into your pan
CT: D --> And you have let it grow
CT: D --> I admit I am at fault for not taking a%ion sooner
CT: D --> I have done my best to support you but now you have gone too far
CT: D --> This scheme will be the death of you
AC: :33 hissssss
AC: :33 i can't belive you're saying this
AC: :33 it's like our purrevious confursations never happened
AC: :33 you're the very bestest meowrail a troll could ask fur
AC: :33 and you've gotten me out of a bunch of scrapes, it's true
AC: :33 but i n33d you to prick up those big sweaty ears of yours and listen to me
AC: :33 i can think for myself
AC: :33 and that's exactly why I've come to this conclusion
CT: D --> This is unmitigated f001ishness
CT: D --> You have become so blinded by their filth you think you're in control
CT: D --> This is a mistake and you will stop
AC: :33 no! you're wrong! wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
AC: :33 wrong like you are about the hem spectrum
AC: :33 if all of the lower hues are so horrible and nasty like you say
AC: :33 then what about that guy you were so sw33t on?
CT: D --> He was an e%eption
CT: D --> A e%emplar of how far you can come despite the defe% of one's breeding
AC: :33 ugh do you have any idea how patronising that is
CT: D --> I do not require another le%ure, Nepeta
AC: :33 fine! But even if I didn't go through with my plans I'm going to get culled regardless
AC: :33 you KNOW that
AC: :33 and the stupid thing is you're in the same purrsition as me and still you won't s33 reason!
CT: D --> Whatever gave you that idea?
CT: D --> I will have you know that I am in possession of the adequate resources required to qualify me for my new life as an adult
AC: :33 oh, equius
AC: :33 please don't tell me that you went to that sex party
CT: D --> More filthy lowb100d slang
CT: D --> It was not a se% party
CT: D --> It was merely a gathering of trolls who desired to facilitate the procedures e%pected of those of a certain age
AC: :33 :((
AC: :33 how did it go?
CT: D --> I achieved my aim, but truth be told it was most unsatisfactory
AC: :33 oh???
CT: D --> It's a difficult thing to relate
CT: D --> I was in the process of performing my duty with one particular troll
CT: D --> The situation became unpleasant and I wished to disengage
CT: D --> Yet I feared that undue resistance would prove fatal on account of my great strength
CT: D --> So I was required to endure the unpleasantness until our transa%ion was complete
AC: :33 equius, equius!
AC: :33 are you coping OK?
AC: :33 how could they do that to you my beautiful sw33t mewrail
AC: :33 should I come over? I can come over
CT: D --> Nepeta, it’s OK
CT: D --> I will be STRONG
CT: D --> I needed a way to fulfill my duty, and I secured it
CT: D --> That is all there is to say on the matter
AC: :33 are you sure?
AC: :33 if you ever, ever want to talk about it, i will be there for you
AC: :33 if there's anything i can say, or do, just let me know
AC: :33 like fillet that bastard troll
AC: :33 that is one of the many things i can do for you
CT: D --> Please Nepeta, the matter is done with
CT: D --> And if you want to help me, you know there is one thing you must do
AC: :33 i'm sorry, equius
AC: :33 i will do almost anything for you
AC: :33 but i can't do that :((
CT: D --> Then I believe our conversation is at an end
Tears dripped from the edge of her nose and pattered onto the touchscreen. The chatlog slowly turned into a pretty turquoise puddle.
When Nepeta came to, Pounce was pressing up against her. She absentmindedly shifted so that the cat could scratch her cheek against her knucklebone. She sniffed the air.
“It looks like someone’s hungry”.
They settled down to supper. Pounce had already eaten, but Nepeta liked to give her a taste of what she’d cooked up, too. When she opened up the smaller pot, Pounce gave a delighted little purr.
Nepeta found the food quite tasteless. The unguids were tough and the oil had turned most meat a stodgy bluey-grey.
Later, entwined together, the sorrow ebbed away. In its place there was a muddy mixture of anger, fear, and a weariness Nepeta had to fight back tooth and claw. She looked to the dresser for support. Phaedra’s eyes returned the stare. She picked up her tablet from the desk. She had someone to talk to.
AC: :33 terezi
AC: :33 i n33d to speak to you
AC: :33 but i should warn you before I start
AC: :33 i'm in a really bad mood right now
But there was no response.
Nothing. No friends, no lovers, no lasting achievements. And soon, no moirail. At times like these she had this terrible impulse to plunge straight down into the depths of misery, to dissolve completely and perhaps find there a kind of peace. But part of her refused to be negated. Surely it was better to go on in spite of everything against her, it said, to spite them all, to show them they were wrong, to make the bad mean something other than a wounding and a loss.
And even then a synapse flared and dredged up some twee song from an old show:
Can't you see that I am a pioneer
Unlocking the greatest mysteries
My key is a fearless heart
So pure and strong
People laugh when you are a pioneer
Not walking the straight and narrow
They tell you the way things are
They swear you're wrong
“You are Nepeta Leijon. Nepeta fucking Leijon. You will never let them beat you, mewrail or no mewrail.”
There was a great shifting, like an orchestral swell. Nepeta sprung to her feet. She struck a defiant pose. Then, she saw the light blink on her computer.
She sat back down again.
GC: WH4TS TH3 M4TT3R?
AC: :33 so you are there
AC: :33 i just can't k33p up this purrtense that we're on good terms anymore
AC: :33 i just don't have the energy
AC: :33 i want you to know that i really resent all the times that you weren't there for me
AC: :33 all those times you couldn’t talk
AC: :33 all those times we couldn’t meet
AC: :33 and that although I think you didn’t mean to
AC: :33 you really really hurt me
GC: N3P3T4, 1S TH1S 4BOUT YOUR BL4CK SOL1C1T4T1ON
GC: 1'M SORRY, 1 JUST DON'T TH1NK OF YOU TH4T W4Y
AC: :33 arghhhhhhh!!! no it's not about that at all
AC: :33 we have so much in common
AC: :33 i thought we were kindred spirits!
AC: :33 roleplayers, gamers, gr33nbloods, outlanders
AC: :33 i admired you so much
AC: :33 and then it turned out that to you I'm just a joke
AC: :33 some private little gag you tell your friends
AC: :33 "OH N3P3T4? YEAH SH3S TH4T CR4ZY C4TG1IRL CH1CK 1 US3D TO KNOW
AC: :33 1 TH1NK SH3 H4S A CRUSH ON M3 OR SOM3TH1NG"
AC: :33 karkat must have b33n lapping it up
GC: N3P3T4
AC: :33 you heartless unf33ling poophead!!!
AC: :33 you knew that troll was the love of my life
AC: :33 you knew and you went and did it anyway
AC: :33 and it took you less than a sw33p to chew him up and spit him out
AC: :33 and the funny thing is he'd STILL rather be with you than me
AC: :33 it's all so messed up
AC: :33 you have this effect on people
AC: :33 everyone wants a piece of miss dragonmint dewdrop
AC: :33 you're fighting off advances from all corners
AC: :33 even scary ol' vwiskers
AC: :33 you k33p all of these trolls in thrall
AC: :33 and the happy chosen few enjoy your company a while
AC: :33 it's good while it lasts
AC: :33 but all of us get dropped in time
AC: :33 beclaws the person you care most about is you
GC: TH3 4NGRY GR33N T4NG OF J34LOUSY
GC: M4YB3 YOU'D H4V3 MOR3 4DV4NC3S 1F YOU D1DN'T H4V3 TH1S M4SS1VE V1CT1M COMPL3X
GC: OR C4LM3D DOWN LONG 3NOUGH YOU W3RENT SO INT3NS3 4ND 4NNOYING SOM3T1M3S
AC: :33 ...
GC: SORRY
GC: TH4T W4S R34LLY H4RSH OF M3
GC: 1 JUST...
GC: YOU TOUCH3D 4 N3RV3 1S 4LL
AC: :33 you can kick a stray cat only so many times
AC: :33 before it turns around and bites you back :((
GC: W3LP
GC: 1'M SURE 1T TOOK 4 LOT OF COUR4G3 TO COM3 ON H3R3 4ND CONFRONT TH3 T3RR1BL3 DR4GONYYYD
GC: SO DO YOU F33L 4NY B3TT3R NOW?
AC: :33 yes
GC: 1'M NOT 4S COLD OR AS H3ARTLESS 4S YOU TH1NK THOUGH
GC: 4LTHOUGH 1T'S CL34R YOU'VE BU1LT M3 UP TO B3 4 MONST3R
GC: >;[
AC: :33 i'm sorry what I'm saying had to come out like this
AC: :33 i'm scheduled to be culled tomorrow
GC: FUCK
GC: WHY?
AC: :33 i'm a stalepail
AC: :33 i didn't sort my quadrants out in time
GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T 3XPL41NS WH3R3 YOUR3 4T R1GHT NOW
GC: 4ND WHY YOU N33D TO S3T TH1NGS STR41GHT W1TH M3
AC: :33 uh huh
AC: :33 but i also want you to know that although i'm furrociously angry with you
AC: :33 i still think you're a great troll
AC: :33 and i furgive you
GC: N3P3T4 WAIT
GC: DONT GO
AC: :33 tell me something, Terezi
AC: :33 why do they do it to us?
GC: TH3 P41L CULL1NGS?
AC: :33 no not that
AC: :33 not that exactly
AC: :33 what i mean is why do they let us grow up like this?
AC: :33 let us purrsue almost any hobby we want, encourage us to be great poets, farmers, builders, artists?
AC: :33 fill our pans with all these high hopes and dreams
AC: :33 when all it comes down to is
AC: :33 fuck or die
AC: :33 fight and die
AC: :33 to br33d in us this festering limitless dead-end creativity
AC: :33 then ship us across the stars to wage their wars of conquest
AC: :33 it s33ms to me it would be an awfurl lot kinder if they just raised us as military drones from the get-go
GC: N3P3T4 TH1S 1S D4NG3ROUS T4LK
GC: H3R3 W41T 4 S3COND
AC: :33 what did you do?
GC: S3CUR1TY PROTOCOL
GC: 1 TH1NK 4LL OF US KNOW TH4T TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG WRONG 4BOUT TH3 W4Y TH1NGS 4R3
GC: 3V3N TH3 SLOW ON3S
GC: L1K3 3V3N G4MZ33
GC: BUT YOU N33D TO UND3RST4ND
GC: YOU H4V3 TO B3 W1TH1N TH3 SYST3M 1F YOU W4NT TO M4K3 4 CH4NG3
GC: 1F TH3R3S ON3 TH1NG 4LT3RN14N GOV3RNM3NT H4S D3MONSTR4T3D COUNTL3SS T1M3S THROUGHOUT H1STORY
GC: 1TS TH4T 1T 1S 3XTR3M3LY R3S1L13NT TO 4NY SORT OF CH4NG3 FROM W1THOUT
AC: :33 i understand that
AC: :33 that's one of the reasons i like my moirail so much
GC: >:?
AC: :33 he understands what's expected of him
AC: :33 he understands the game
AC: :33 and yet he finds a way to play it anyway
AC: :33 it's one of the things i admired about you
AC: :33 although i suspect you actually enjoy the game :((
GC: >:[
AC: :33 but i just can't pull it off no matter how hard i try
AC: :33 i hate this place
AC: :33 and i'm too much of an idealist to play their game
AC: :33 all i ever wanted was the world to accept me for who i am and what i had to say
AC: :33 and for you to care about me as a friend
AC: :33 but since i can't have that
AC: :33 all i want is for the world to leave me the fuck alone
AC: :33 and, i guess, for you to leave me the fuck alone as well
GC: SO WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO
GC: L13 DOWN 4ND W41T FOR CULL1NG?
GC: TH3R3 4R3 LOOPHOL3S
GC: YOU C4N 4PP34L
AC: :33 no
AC: :33 i'm leaving
GC: OH
GC: W41T
GC: WH4T?
AC: :33 i'm leaving alternia on a ship of my own
GC: N3P3T4 PL34S3
GC: TH4T 1S S1LLY T4LK
GC: 3V3N 1F YOU FOUND 4 SH1P
GC: YOU W1LL NOT CL34R TH3 LOC4L S3CTOR B3FOR3 4 P4TROL CRU1S3R FL4GS YOU DOWN
GC: 4ND TH3 PUN1SHM3NT FOR D3S3RT1ON 1S 4 WHOL3 LOT WORS3
GC: B3L13V3 M3
GC: 1V3 R34D TH3 D14GR4MS
AC: :33 goodbye, terezi
AC: :33 and thanks for all the good times :33
Nepeta sighed. She suddenly became aware of how tense she was, and tried to force her muscles to relax. It didn‘t work. Had she betrayed Terezi? Should she have just left matters as they stood? Nepeta tried to concentrate, but her head was too full up. She had to pack and move her things into the ship. Quickly. She’d just about made a mental list of all the extra things she thought she’d need:
Spare claws
Claw sharpener
Preserved meats
Spare sopor
Clothes
When she felt her hands trace out familiar shapes upon her tablet one more time
AC: :33 equius
AC: :33 i’d like to apologise
CT: D --> Cease talking
AC: :33 :((
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> If you don’t mind
CT: D --> I am not %
CT: D --> I simply wish to be the first to issue a full and sincere apology
AC: :33 oh
CT: D --> Nepeta, you were correct in your assessment
CT: D --> I am not feeling alright
CT: D --> We can jam about that at some other time, though
CT: D --> Regardless, my conduct during our previous conversation was una%eptable
CT: D --> It was highly unbefitting of my position as your moirail
CT: D --> I wish you to know that I have taken appropriate steps to abase myself
CT: D --> Many of them were quite
CT: D --> E%hausting
AC: :33 ewwwww i wish you wouldn’t tell me when you do that
AC: :33 but anyway!
AC: :33 *prowls around in a circle before enacting a surprise POUNCE-TURNABOUT on the oblivious musclebeast*
AC: :33 *she stares into the prone beast’s face and opens both mouths wide to say*
AC: :33 it is I who should be apologising to you, you great big hoofbiscuit!
CT: D --> *Hoofbiscuit concedes temporarily to some form of roleplay in the spirit of contrition*
CT: D --> *He pretends to incline his horsey head downwards in a gesture of submission to his feline assailant*
AC: :33 h33h33
AC: :33 but seriously
AC: :33 i’ve b33n wrong to be putting so much of a purrden on you lately
AC: :33 i’ve b33n getting you to do all of my emotional heavy lifting and for that I really want to apologise
CT: D --> Well as far as heavy-lifting goes
CT: D --> I am e%cptionally STRONG
CT: D --> Even where emotional theatri% are concerned
AC: :33 on the matter of my purrlitics
AC: :33 i don’t expect you to understand my purrclivities
AC: :33 or even my rationale for doing this thing
AC: :33 and I don’t need you to share my views
AC: :33 i just want you to respect them
CT: D --> This is fine
AC: :33 and that’s why I’ve decided
AC: :33 i’m fine to take that ship you built and fly out of here alone
AC: :33 i don’t have enough words to thank you for all that you’ve given me now and through the sw33ps
AC: :33 you are the best troll
AC: :33 It’s you :33
CT: D --> Nepeta I have decided something
CT: D --> I want to come with you
AC: :33 :oo
CT: D --> You have made valid points in our discussions of late
CT: D --> I cannot agree with all your politi%
CT: D --> but I concur that there is something very wrong
CT: D --> it’s not at all how they described it in the boo% of legend
CT: D --> there is no honor or dignity
CT: D --> in the course of my empirical investigations of society
CT: D --> I have discovered only filth and disappointment
CT: D --> With one e%ception
AC: :33 *dramatic paws*
AC: :33 and what would that be?
CT: D --> Not what but who
CT: D --> You are the e%ception
CT: D --> It’s you
AC: :33 :33
CT: D --> And that’s why I will not desert you
CT: D --> We shall let the highb100ds know there is both honor and beauty left in this world
CT: D --> Even if we must needs forge it with our hands
AC: :33 hey…
AC: :33 was that a quote from Monstrous Upstart Phaedra?
CT: D --> Yes
AC: :33 X33
CT: D --> I was given to understand that you rate this work quite highly
CT: D --> I therefore sought to acquaint myself with it
CT: D --> This was to prove a pleasant surprise for you
AC: :33 it is! :33
AC: :33 so, what did you think?
CT: D --> It was, quite frankly, preposterous
CT: D --> The narrative left much to be desired
CT: D --> And the episodes were full of such mawkish fluff it would have made a wiggler blush
CT: D --> I, being of STRONG constitution, persevered until the end
CT: D --> Purely for research purposes, you understand
AC: :33 of course
CT: D --> However, the character of Baps was most commendable
CT: D --> He has the natural instin% of a general and yet a compassion rarely seen among such individuals
CT: D --> He reminds me of the folk heroes of the Alternian Silver Age
CT: D --> Phaedra would have come to nothing without Baps
CT: D --> Her monstrous powers would surely have consumed her
AC: :33 weeeeellll I happen to think that Baps was very lucky to meet Phaedra!
AC: :33 her struggle gave a purpose to his life
AC: :33 she is such a noble, brave, courageous fighter
AC: :33 AND a real inspiration to all of those around her
AC: :33 even though the folks who didn’t know her all that well mistreated her and held her in ill-repute
AC: :33 she showed them all the error of their ways :33
CT: D --> An e%cellent moirallegiance
CT: D --> You could almost say they worked as well as us
AC: :33 almost! :33
CT: D --> You should prepare
CT: D --> I will see you soon
***
The night is fresh and fragrant, save for a bolt-grey spreading smear which blots the sky and chokes her in her nostrils. There’s lubricant; it’s sweet, Alternian-synthesized; the engine noise suggests neglect above stark notes of dogged perseverance. Transport droid; legal business; chartered; inexpensive - but not a bargain model, either.
"DELIVERY FOR T. PYROPE. TESTAMENT GOODS. REQUEST BLOOD SAMPLE."
She obliges.
"IDENTITY CONFIRMED. FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE."
The mech’s signoff was strange. Can a robot be insincere? She should ask Sollux sometime.
She’s not quite sure what to make of the delivery, either. Wooden, sapwood; painted? - she licks - painted; many bright colours including - ooh - her favorite.
Ah. There’s a note. She laps up a familiar green:
"Terezi! This is for you: for the good times. I won’t need it anymore, but I figured you might. I’ve got something that’s much better :33”
There’s something else as well - a dedication punched out in braille.
She manages to hold the tears back.
You can't be a hero
Hiding underneath your bed
Got to live the life
You create inside your head
So I opened the window
Caught the wind one night
Now I sail with the birds in their flight