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Loving Guizhong was what Morax fought for. The chance that maybe, one day, he would be able to go home and find her there, sitting in a picturesque living room. He disguised his love for her as love for the citizens of Liyue, love for his nation. But she was the one who truly loved Liyue. She was adored by her people. She would do anything for them, even fight Celestia herself.
She smoothed out all his rough edges, curbed his bloodlust until it pained him no more, showed him how to love. She did not push him away as the rest did, she saw who he could be, not who he was. And although he would never know it, she knew how the flow of time would change him. She knew that despite his aches and pains now, he would be carved into a righteous and just god that protected his people, no matter the cost.
When asked about her, Morax would describe her as his savior, the most beautiful and gracious woman he had ever met. When fighting losing battles - which, in the beginning, happened rather often - he remembered that she would be there when he returned, and suddenly he was losing no more.
Alas, the erosion of time happens to all beings.
And for Guizhong, it was not so much erosion as it was a sudden end.
On this day, Morax heard the cries of grief before he saw them. He doesn’t think he had ever moved so fast before. And as he stumbled into the scene of horror, he could not help but join the citizens in their screams.
She lay there, barely breathing, and gods, he had never felt so much. As he sank to his knees, cradling her forlorn body, he could not rationalize why .
Why did it have to be her ?
Why was it not him ?
She was perfect.
She had never hurt a single soul.
She completed him.
How was he to exist without her?
His tears salted the ground beneath them, even the earth shared in his grief. As she began to fade, as all Celestial beings do, he tried to hold on, to save her, somehow, some way. Surely there had to be a way? He was Morax , the strongest and most renowned archon. He created mountains and valleys, cities, even a whole nation. Why could he not create life?
But death does not cease its hold, even for archons.
He wallowed in his grief for many years. He neglected his duties, his people, his friends, even Azhdaha, who was there long before Guizhong was. Eventually, he was able to return to some semblance of normality. He began to love his people just as Guizhong had taught him to and to care for them. And centuries later, he was able to finally think of her and only have only a light wave in his heart rather than a hurricane. He was able to smile when he thought of their love, of their time together. He found, just like many others before him, that time heals all wounds.
But then, centuries later, the wound re-opened.
With none other than the 11th Fatui Harbinger.
Loving Childe was different. He found, this time, that he was the one smoothing Childe’s rough edges; he couldn’t help but wonder if he had been this petulant as well. Childe was impulsive, bloodthirsty, and, for lack of a better term, traumatized. Yes, he had survived his time in the abyss, but he did not survive unscathed - physically or mentally.
Eventually, Morax learned how to calm the other down after yet another flashback, or care for him after the use of his transformation. But he still could not help the small noise of disappointment every time Childe came back covered in blood, unsure of whether it belonged to him or his enemies.
And with this, he learned that his great nation of Liyue was rather capable of taking care of itself. It did not need an archon to guide it through its grief anymore. There were no more wars to shelter the people from. And as dull as average life felt like, he was so tired. Exhaustion had weathered its way into his very being, craving a moment of respite.
So when one of the Tsaritsa’s harbingers offered him a deal, it was not so much a question of why, but of how and when.
And he could not deny that it broke his heart, watching Childe realize that he would have to betray his love. Watching Childe try to take down Liyue (and suppressing the rage, and perhaps slight amusement at the stunt). Watching Childe connect the dots, standing in the lobby of the Northland Bank, the closest place he had to home, and realize he was but a pawn in a much, much larger game.
It took months to repair what he had broken with Childe. Months are considered mere seconds to an archon, but these felt more akin to centuries.
Afterward, though, he was happy again. He had one of the loves of his life with him, how could he not be happy? He forced away the persistent thought that Childe was mortal, and sooner rather than later, he would go as well. He would pick a fight with Celestia herself, and he would not come home. But he treasured the happiness, the moments when no one else in Teyvat existed but him and his lover.
So, long story short, Morax had survived. He had clawed his way back from the never-ending darkness of loss. He had found another to love and protect like he could not before. He knew his path once again.