Archive of Our Own ^beta

H: Found y’all a client. One of my programs got tripped down in your area. Someone's scamming people out of their houses, fake loans, some kinda nonsense. I'd dig up more for you but.

S: No, we'll put Breanna on it. You're busy there, and she needs the practice.

H: She doing okay?

S: She's learning. The occasional bump. You remember how it was, don't you? Overreaching, having to compensate?

H:  Yeah, sounds familiar.
I should check up on her. Right?

S: In moderation. She's got a talent for troubleshooting on the fly. You should give her the opportunity to hone it.

H:  hear you're on the job

B: yep!

H:  Going all right?

B: I mean. I just started. But yeah, no hiccups yet.

H:  you know you can ask me anything at any time, right?

B: yeah, thanks. I do know.

H:  promise you'll tell me if you get in over your head

B: yeah, of course.
Will you stop texting and let me focus on my job now?

H:  sure, sure, sure.

B: So, uh. I might have underestimated how hard this job is.

H:  Ask me anything. No judgement, I promise.

B: Do you have a minute free? I’ll call.

H:  Gimme five and I’ll get free.

P: I wish you were here

H:  Me too, babe.

P: Eliot doesn’t appreciate puns with me.

H:  That’s a damn shame.

P: Breanna says you keep checking in.
I thought you were too busy to talk?

H: Parker. It’s not like that. I gotta make sure she’s doing okay.

P: She isn’t reading the manuals. You should just tell her to read the manuals. Everything’s in those.

H: Not everyone does best with written directions and charts and blueprints, mama. I know that’s your learning style. Bre needs to experience shit.

E: Your sister is too fearless for her own good. You know that, right?

H:  That I do.
Why, what'd she do this time?

E: Tried to lift a giant pearl in the middle of a heavily patrolled casino riverboat.

H:  Of course she did.
You're making sure she's safe?

E: Of course. Hardison. What do you think? She's your sister.
But she's got a head for it. She doesn't panic. She takes changes in plans like a champ.

H:  Thanks, El.

H: Eliot tells me Bre got made trying to steal a pearl.

P: Sophie said Breanna was trying to impress me. I don’t get it. She’s a baby you. You can do anything.

H:  Aww, that’s sweet.

P: You both need more thief practice, though.

H: Bre needs to learn when to stay in the goddamn van.

P: You don’t like staying in the van.

H: Yeah, but I do. When it’s my job. We gotta have someone in the van.

P: Like you said in volume ten.

H:  Yeah, like I said.

P: You don’t even know what I’m talking about do you?

H:  Babe, there’s a lot of volumes.
I think I did a pretty good job getting em all nice and organized, and that was so I wouldn’t have to keep it all in my head.

P: You said, trust the person in the van.

H:  Yeah, I did, didn’t I?
Okay, listen, Parker. You want Bre to stay in the van and not try and do every little thing? You gotta grift her a little. Here’s what she needs to know: You trust her judgement because she’s the one in the van. You trust her judgement because like you said, she’s me 2.0, a little punk who’s good at getting into trouble and even better at seeing the possible ways out. So once in a while, you gotta let her tell you the way out.

P: You’re still checking in with Breanna all the time.

H:  Yeah, she’s my baby sis.

P: And I’m your girl. Right?

H:  Yeah, you’re my girl.
Listen, this is work, though. This is what I do, this is why I have to be away. I’m juggling dozens of teams, and yours is one. I’m training new people, making sure they’re up to the job. Bri, much as I love her, much as she’s talented, is an unknown variable on one of my teams and I need to get a feel for her. She needs attention and support on the job right now. You don’t need as much.
You’re Parker.

P: Okay, I get it. Maybe I don’t need you in my ear all the time for support on the job. Maybe. But I need you behind me.

H:  I am, mama. Always.

B: IT WORKED! It worked it worked it worked!

H:  What? What happened?

B: So! Turns out the vault was full of Russian mob money, and our original plan wasn't going to work to empty the vault before the cops got there. But we needed to move tonight to save the client's house.
They're such sweeties, I'm so glad you found them.
Anyway!
I made a plan on the fly for getting the money out of the vault and it WORKED!

H:  Nice! Congrats, Bre.

B: Being in the van isn't easy, is it?
The whole team trusts me to be able to be there to help them and it's not always going to work out as well as it did today.

H:  Bre... it's not easy, no.
But they need someone there, and if it can't be me, I'm glad it's you.
I keep hearing how good you are at it.

B: I don't wanna let them down.

H: I can't tell you it's never gonna feel like you've let them down. I can tell you that if you do your best, they'll never blame you when things go to shit. Because yeah, they will. It happens in this line of work.

B: It happens in life.

H:  Yeah, that too.
But they know what they're doing. And you know what you're doing. And if that team can't do it, it can't be done.

B: The team's better with you.

H: They know you're good. Give it time. You'll be the person they think of when they think of their hacker.

B: That's hard to believe. You know you're irreplaceable here, right?

H:  Yeah, as the boyfriend. Not as the hacker.
As long as you don't try to take my place by making out with Parker or Eliot, you'll be golden.

B: ...wait.
You never said!
You never said you were DATING BOTH OF THEM!
HOW DID I NOT KNOW YOU'RE BI TOO?
ALEC!
Oh My GOd YOU MAKE SUCH A CUTE POLYCULE!!!!

H: Yeah, don't spread it around. Eliot still gets a little self-conscious about it.

B: Sure, of course.
He’s got kind of a jocky, cowboy tough guy image to hold up, huh?

H: Only with people he doesn’t trust. He’ll let you see behind it eventually.

B: You really do think I can swing this gig, huh?

H:  Never doubted you.

P: Eliot made a new friend and his carrot cake tastes like sunlight.

H:  Did you steal it?

P: I was sad. I needed sunlight cake. Eliot gets a whole friend, I just want a piece of what’s so great about him.

H:  He’s gonna come after you for that.

P: Good. I need one of you close.
You know I like making Eliot a little mad to watch him spark up.

H:  It is a good look on him.
I’m sorry I can’t be there. For both of you.

P: Just remind me you wish you were. We’ll get each other through the rest.

B: oh my GOD you got Eliot to learn Klingon?
He’s kinda whipped, huh?

H: Bre…
Yeah, he’s a little easy to steer if you know his weak spots. DON’T overplay it.
He doesn’t like being used or controlled. A little nudge here or there is fine, in moderation.

B: Okay, jeez.
You really love him, huh?

H: So much.
I’d say he’s the one, but that’s not really how things work, with us.
He’s for good, I’ll put it that way.
He’d lay down everything he is, for us. I just try not to take too much.

B: Wow.
Okay, don’t worry, he’s one of my brothers now, we’re ride or die from now on.
I’ll keep his cute little feelings safe.

H: You better.

P: Hardison

H: Yeah babe?

P: As a member of a leverage team I need to report that I have a problem with one of my team members.

H: Parker. Okay. Who and what kind of problem?

P: It's Wilson. He can't be trusted.

He kept crucial information from us. Dangerous information. The stuff that changes everything.

H: Okay, shit, what kind?

P: The mark knows him. They worked together. They used to be friends when Wilson was evil.

H: Eesh. You know why he didn’t say?

P: He's trying to explain himself now.

H: What, like, right now?

P: Yeah, he's facing the tribunal. I can't look at him right now so I'm in the balcony.

H: I gotcha. Sophie's got the glaring covered I'm guessing?

P: Pretty much. Eliot is glaring too but Wilson might already be immune to that.

H: What’s he saying?

P: He made a mistake and he wants to put things right. Sophie is telling him that he can’t jerk us around like that. Only. You know. In Sophie language.

H: The others weighed in yet?

P: Bre thinks having someone less competent than her on the team is going to make her look better. That’s crap. Having someone who can’t do the job on a team just makes the rest of you look like idiots. Or makes you dead.
Eliot wants to give him another chance, though. Because redemption.
I can’t say no to Eliot about that.
He can stay for now. But I still don’t feel like looking at him.

H: That’s fine, babe. Do what you need to do.
And keep me updated, I need to know if he’s a solid part of the team and I can factor him in when I hand jobs off to y’all.

P: I’ll let you know if his face starts to look less punchable.

E: I do not understand art.

H: is Sophie getting under your skin again?

E: …okay that would explain some of it. Breanna started it, though. Haven’t got a reliable handle on when she’s messin with me yet.

H: Oof. Bre and Sophie teaming up now?
Yeah, unless Bre sounds bored or is vibrating with excitement, more likely than not she’s up to something.

E: noted.
I’ll pay more attention, get her tells down.
She’s a good kid. Complicated, but a good kid.

H: Don’t I know it.

P: Wilson was the distraction while I safecracked and he nearly blew it, then he burned his cover.

H: Hell. You okay?

P: I’m good, and we can salvage the job. Just fewer backup plans now.

H: Okay. Keep me in the loop.

P: Okay. Wilson just jumped off a roof to try and stop the mark from escaping. Definite points.

H: You got him in a rig?

P: No! It’s a fancy fire escape… tube… thing. Never seen one before.
Hang on, I’m on the roof again, gonna try it head first this time.

H: Kay. Be careful, babe.

P: Always am!

H: Soph. I’m hearing a lot about Harry’s shenanigans on this last job. You wanna give me your perspective?

S: Not particularly. You know I have a soft spot for former white hats who see the error of their ways. I don’t know if I can be entirely objective on this one.
Have you asked Eliot?

H: Not yet, you think I should? He gonna be any more objective about the latest guy with red in his ledger?

S: Maybe. He knows an incredible amount about the darkness that can take hold in people’s souls and what it takes to root it out. He wants to see the good, yes. But he’s not blind to the evil.

H: I don’t think you are either.
But I won’t bug you about it any more, if it’s a sore spot.

S: Well. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything more solid than what I’ve got now.

H: How’s the team been doing on this one?

E: Well, Bre’s still learning. Little stuff. And. You heard about Harry’s latest mistakes, I’m guessing?

H: Yeah, Parker was really upset.

E: I can talk it over with her.

H: So you think Mr. Wilson is still solid?

E: He’s learning. We all had to learn. We worked alone, before Nate. Harry’s got good intentions and he’s willing to adjust to our style. We could do a lot worse.
Parker’s got her own instincts, though. I can hash it out with her, see if she’s seeing something I’m not.

H: how’re things shaking out? Still have your doubts about Wilson?

P: I kinda think I always will.

H: Shit, you think we should let him go?

P: No. I think he’s worth the doubts.

H: You sure?

P: He shifts in the wind. But Nate did too.
You know I loved Nate but he could be cold and he could be a controlling manipulative ass sometimes. He taught us a lot. He also crossed lines.
There were times Nate needed to earn our trust back, too.
Wilson? We’re helping him get his soul back, which is important, but we also need to be looking out for our own interests first.
He’s on thin ice. That doesn’t mean I want him gone. It means we keep an eye on him until he gets back to somewhere solid.

H: Okay. I trust you to make that call.

P: I’m doing my best.

H: You’re doing amazing.

P: You having fun with Eliot?

H: Parker, he’s here to work.

P: Yuhuh.

H: okay, yes. We’re having fun. When we can.

P: Good. Give each other extra kisses for me!

P: I hate psychics.

H: Yeah I know. You got one?

P: No. Well. Psychic adjacent. Medium adjacent? Stages hauntings.

H: Yikes.
You gonna be okay?

P: Yeah, Sophie and Breanna and I can handle this one. Amateurs. Small fries, real estate scammers.

H: No, I know. I mean. You gonna be okay with the psychic adjacent stuff?

P: I think so.

H: Okay, take care. Call me if you need to.

P: Thanks.

H: Always.

P: Bre’s just a kid. Half the time this is still just a game to her. She’s just having fun.

H: Yeah, I remember when that was me. Don’t you?
Parker. Anything particular happen?

P: Yeah, our amateurs were subcontractors for an expert assassin. We were just coming in for the gloat when he showed.
Everyone’s fine.
Sophie took the biggest gamble. Of course. But she knew the mark. I had to tase a dude while helping the client escape. Bre was in with your servers, but still. He got too close.

H: Fuck.
You take him down?

P: Yeah. Hard.
He ran screaming from vengeful ghosts. Before the cops took him away.

H: okay, good.
You all right?

P: I
Alec

H: I can call if you wanna talk that way.

P: Every time Breanna is in danger I keep thinking
Not just about how I have to keep her safe and I never feel quite as ready to keep people safe when I don’t have you or Eliot.
Of my foster brother. The one I couldn't save.

H: aw, Parker.
That’s not on you. You were just a kid.

P: I know.
I mean, I’m getting better at knowing.
But she’s your foster sister and I keep thinking, I know how you’d feel. If

H: Shit, I really need to be able to give you a hug right now.

P: yeah

H: I’m gonna send Eliot home, his part of the job’s as good as done. Give im a hug to pass on. Okay?

P: thank you.

H: Baby. You gonna be okay til he gets there? Tomorrow morning, redeye.

P: yeah I’m okay.
I’ll be better with boyfriend hugs.

H: I’ll send you some, express. ❤

B: So I’m doing a grift for this one, right? Going into this vulture capitalist’s office and poking around.

H: Yeah, how you feeling about it?

B: Not great.
Sophie makes it sound so simple. “Just walk in and act like you already have the job” or whatever.

H: It’s good advice.

B: Yeah, and I can do that when I’m playing someone artsy or offbeat. I can do that when I feel like I’m the kind of person who could actually do the job behind the part.

H: So you don’t think you could be an office gofer?

B: I mean, I’d be bored out of my mind, obviously. I’m better at the kind of thing that involves poking my nose as far as possible into trouble.

H: You think?

B: Yeah, yeah.
So I’m having some trouble getting into character here, like “what’s my motivation” kind of shit.
But also.
Okay. I get that it’s good advice, but you know and I know that it’s different for Sophie or Harry or Eliot than it is for you or me.
Belonging in a space like that. Walking in like you own it.

H: Breanna.
Yeah, I getcha, it’s a little different for a black foster kid than it is for them. Harry or Eliot could pull it off just by puttin on a clean sweater and a smile. Sophie could manage even in a burlap sack. I always make sure my shirt is perfectly pressed, tie is neat. Watch my words.
The world’s not fair.
We’re gonna make it better.
You’re gonna button up your best shirt and you’re gonna march in there and make that place yours.

B: that’s a hell of a speech.

H: it working?

B: have to admit I’m feeling better about this.

H: Good. You’re good at this job.
So, why didn’t you list Parker with your other white team members? She can grift with the best of us.

B: That’s true.
It didn’t seem right to say that it’s easy for her, though. I know she works at it. Not that the others don’t, but.
she’s, what, autistic? Not NT, anyway.
And one of us, a foster kid. So, I know, you can’t quantify privilege, but as amazing as Parker is, I guess she’s never felt out of reach because there’s no big gulf between where she started and where I did.

H: yeah.
Not even I have the full story, but she had a rough time for a lot of years.
and she would definitely relate to finding the offbeat characters come more easily on a grift.

B: Huh. Maybe my ADHD ass would do better taking grifting tips from Parker.

H: maybe. If you like flowcharts.

B: Silly Alec. Flowcharts are just algorithms that haven’t been encoded yet.

H: …you’re gonna build a grifting simulator, aren’t you?

B: That is a superb idea.
For later.
I have to go put on my best shirt and spearhead a corporate takeover.

H: You go, girl!

P: So
Wilson said some stuff and I’m having trouble getting my brain to make sense of the shape of it.

H: What kind of stuff? Job stuff? Personal stuff?

P: Personal job stuff.

H: Are you two having trouble again?

P: No, he’s cool, he gave me advice about Breanna.
I’m not having trouble with Bre either.
Not exactly.
Bre is causing me trouble but I think it’s my trouble to fix.

H: uh
Why don’t you start at the beginning?

P: So, you gave me the job of training Breanna to be a Leverage International team member. And a thief.
and I think I might have been doing it a little bit wrong.

H: Babe, you are so good with the trainees. You give ‘em skills they need. You’re tough but not too tough.
I don’t think Breanna has had any complaints.
Actually she was just telling me how she might want to get your help with grifting stuff, not just thief stuff.

P: But she’s got Sophie! Sure, I can teach grifting stuff if I have to, but Sophie taught me. She’s the best.

H: Sometimes being the right teacher for someone is more about who the student is than who the teacher is.

P: Great, now you’re doing it, too.

H: Sorry. I mean, Bre has ADHD and she thinks maybe learning about how you learned to grift would be useful for her because her brain’s a little quirky too. Sophie knows the grifting stuff but you know the grifting stuff from a different angle.
Like, Breanna might do better turning the grifting problems over like puzzles, instead of feeling her way, the way Soph does.

P: OH!
Okay, that makes sense. I could do that.

H: Anyway, sorry for sidetracking you. What’d Harry say?

P: No, if we’re going in order, we’re not to that part of the story yet.
So in my head I have boxes that I put people in, and I think the box for trainees isn’t the right shape.

H: yeah, how come?

P: Because when Bre tried to tell me that she knew something about the thief part of the job that I didn’t, I told her she was wrong. But actually I was wrong. My trainee box didn’t account for that!

H: Woah, she got you on a thief thing?

P: Only because I thought it was a find-a-vault-in-a-building thing and it was actually a weird poetry-scavenger-hunt-in-the-woods thing.

H: huh.

P: And I told Wilson about it and he said that he knows you’re supposed to learn back from the people you teach because he’s a dad.
and I’m having trouble fitting that in my brain because all of my teachers, even the good ones, haven’t been like that.
Not Archie, not Nate.
Unless you count that time Nate based one of his grifting characters on me. But that was just him using what he knew about me, not me teaching him my skills.

H: Hey, but what about when I teach you something hacky, or you teach me something thiefy? We teach each other all the time.

P: That’s different, we’re teammates with different specialties, not teachers in charge of trainees.

H: okay, is it really different, though?

P: OH
It’s not?

H: Nah, and anyway we were teammates with Nate, he wasn’t our teacher or our boss or our dad.
Well. Maybe a little bit. But mostly he was a teammate.

P: But he never tried to learn how to hack or hit or about ropes or safes. It wasn’t his job. His job was to figure out how to do the moving pieces. Teach us how to work as a team. Tell us which of us should do what when. And he did grifting his own way, not Sophie’s.

H: yeah, he wasn’t great at listening, sometimes.

P: That’s true.

H: My foster family before Nana, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they weren’t good at listening either. I learned a lot from them, but it didn’t work out. They didn’t want to know about my Jewish stuff, they just wanted to tell as many people as possible about their G-d stuff.
Nana listened. She let me go to synagogue and when I got back she would ask me what I learned and I would teach it to her. She learned it from me.

P: Wow.
She really is the best, huh?

H: the very best.

P: Okay. So from now on, when I teach, I'm going to try to be less like my teachers were and more like your nana.

H: you're great as you are, you know.

P: I want to be better.

H: Well, you couldn't pick a better role model for it.

H: hey, Nana, if you get a chance could you give Parker a call?

N: of course!
What's the trouble?

H: not trouble, exactly.
She's been on rocky ground about being a role model for the younger people we work with.
Before you ask, this isn't about Breanna, Bre's doing great and loves working with Parker.
She did kinda nudge this to the surface, though.

N: now, I remember how hesitant Parker was with Bre the first time y'all visited. And I remember you telling me that she didn't get as lucky with the system as you did.
Always good to hear, by the way, that you feel lucky. That you feel like you ended up where you were meant to be.
Sometimes I wondered if you should have been with a Jewish family.

H: Nah, Nana, you were absolutely what I needed.
And Parker has had way too few people who've been good to her. Nobody who's really been a parent. A couple who've tried, but. Well.

N: You mean Nate, don't you?

H: And a guy named Archie who taught her a lot of her skills.
But neither of them were great at emotions, or listening. So Parker is feeling, uh, a little under-equipped, I guess? For that part of being a good mentor.

N: yeah, sounds like she just needs a little bit of encouragement.
I'll give her a call.

H: Thanks, Nana.

N: and how's your Eliot? Doing all right?

H: yeah, he's… he's really great.
We've all been busy, I've been traveling a lot, and I haven't been able to see either of them as much as I'd like, but we talk on the phone at least once a week and text a lot.
But I got to spend some quality time with Eliot last week, at least.
I love him so much, Nana. I love them both so much. But there's so much work that only I can do.

N: oh, honey.
Remember, the most important thing you were put on this world to do is love people. I've always known that because you've always been so good at loving.
Everything else you do is just ways to show that. Don't forget.

H: I won't, Nana.
But Parker and Eliot, Sophie, Bre, everyone I work with, all our clients, the way I feel about them is why I do what I do.
I know it hurts Parker, especially, that I have to be away so much.
It hurts me too.
But I
Nana
I just have to make the best choice I know how to.

N: Alec, sweetie. I understand. I do.
It sounds like how I felt every time I had to choose between taking on another foster kid or giving everything I had to taking care of the kids who already depended on me.
It was the hardest decision I ever made to stop taking on kids. But on days like this I know I made the right choice. Because you're all grown up and saving the world every day, but you still come to me for help.
And you're helping support Bre and make sure she has a life that works for her. The least I can do is help you support your Parker.
Turns out some of the kids who need me most aren't kids anymore.

H: Thanks Nana.

N: Always.

B: So that was a thing.

H: Job go alright?

B: Yeah, we took down the bad guy and got the miracle cure.
It’s just
Nah, it’s nothing, I’m thinking too hard.

H: Hey, no, tell me.

B: Sophie said something when we were taking down the real estate guy, the one that turned out to be Harry’s old buddy. And I guess I’ve been turning it over in my head ever since.
She said, “We’re not heroes, we’re just necessary.”
Okay, laws don’t mean anything to me, they pretty much never have. Me and the law did not start off on a friendly basis in this life and I don’t think I owe the law shit.
But I don’t wanna be a bad person, either.

H: Bre…
you’re not a bad person. Neither is Sophie.
And she’s in kinda a dark place right now, kinda angry at the world. But she’s never cruel for no reason. And that’s the line I draw.

B: even if I enjoyed the hell out of seeing that rich white asshole have PTSD all over the place?

H: You don’t want to add suffering to the world. You just want to maybe even it out a little. It’s not a terrible thing to want.
That job was weeks ago. You’re still thinking about it?

B: Yes. No.
It wasn’t my call, so I let it go.
Today I saw an opportunity, and I took it.

H: Job didn’t go to plan?

B: We spent all day looking for that damn macguffin and the mark had it on him the whole time.
The only thing I could think to do was manipulate a guy, an honest guy, a guy I’ve looked up to for a long time, a guy who’s maybe never broken his word before, into breaking his word.
I threw everything I could think of at him. And you know what he said?
He said “I guess I’m not that good.”

H: Bre.
I’ve seen your version of throwing everything you’ve got at someone to convince them to go your way.
Was anything you told him even a lie?

B: Well… no. I guess not.
But I don’t know how I feel about it.
I kinda????? Sorta came out??? In front of like a hundred people??? And the mark, and the guy, and I don’t like feeling like my identity is a tool. You know? Using it to get something just feels a liiiittle bit slimy.

H: aw, Breanna.
I’m sorry you felt like you had to do that, that belongs to you and you shouldn’t have had to bring it into team stuff.

B: It seemed like I should. At the time. And then I thought too much about it. Like I said.
Thought about using it to get a guy to do something that was against his own code.

H: Well, the thing about codes is they have to change sometimes, if you learn new truth.
The truth’s a heavy thing. And a rough thing. It sounds like you dropped a lot of it on this guy, and he had to realize that good and bad aren’t neat little categories with clear-cut edges that we can be inside of definitively all the time.
We all have to learn. It’s part of being human. The world just keeps getting more complicated and doing the right thing just keeps getting messier and more difficult.

B: Don’t tell me that, Alec! It’s already hard enough.

H: Sorry.
Just been working on this whole work-life balance thing lately.

B: Yeah how’s that going?

H: It’s being a bitch is what it is.
I gotta find time to come home and see y’all. Especially Parker.

B: Yeah, you do.
So it just keeps on getting more complicated, huh?

H: Yeah, but you can get better at it.
And you will. Cause you think about it.
The more marks I study, the more I think the worst thing is to just not think about it. Not let your mind get changed. Not ask yourself what it means to be wrong and what it means to be right.
Long as you keep asking those questions, you’ll find your way.

B: Thanks, Alec.

H: Any time.

H: Checked in, boarding soon. Don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to you next.

P: I’m gonna be whiny for a minute. Is that okay?

H: Totally reasonable. Whine all you want.

P: Hardison! This isn’t fair. You’ve already been gone for way too long! I don’t want to forget your face.

H: You won’t, I promise.

P: Okay, maybe, but I feel like I will.
It makes me antsy.
My face misses your face.

H: Right back atcha, babe.
I would kiss the heck out of your face if I was there.
I’d kiss your cheeks, I love your cheeks.
Kiss your nose. Not too much, I know it gets tickly.
Kiss your forehead, I miss your forehead. It’s just full of Parker brains.
And I’d kiss your mouth, as much as you want me to. I could never get enough of that.

P: I know you’re trying to make me feel better but it’s just tying me up in knots making me miss you more.

H: I know, I know. But none of the people there have internet right now. The whole country, no google searches, no video chats. No nothing. And big time surveillance on everything they do have. Can you imagine that? Not being able to chat with your friends or your family without worrying that you’re in danger, or that you’re putting them in danger?

P: I get it. I do. I’m lucky.

H: Well you sure don’t have to like it. I don’t. I wanna be home with you and it sucks that I can’t be.
But if I can do this for them, I can’t not.

P: It does suck.
I love you. Be safe.

P: I don’t know when you’ll get this, but I have to tell you anyway.
Eliot fell in love at first sight today.
It’s so cute when that happens. He gets these little smiles, you know the ones.
And she’s a fighter. A federal marshal.
The plan was for him to get taken into custody, but he ran and made her work for it. You know what that means.
He’s been spoiling for a fight like her.

B: Hey, uh, I know you’re off the grid right now, but if you get it up and running and have a sec, could you call?
This is some big bad tech and I need all the help I can get.

P: It happened again! I was going to create a diversion so we could leave but he waved me off so he could have coffee with her!
You know what coffee leads to.

B: No worries. We found the guy and his server, we can take it down. Still freaky stuff, though, yanno? This guy’s facial recognition algorithm is SPOOKY.
Better than yours.
I didn’t think that was possible.

P: They’re texting now.
Glad he has someone to text with.

H: Hey, babe.
Now you do too, finally got that satellite where I needed it.

P: Hardison!

H: So Eliot’s got a new someone, huh? How you feeling about it?

P: It always makes me happy to see him happy.
Makes me miss seeing the two of you together, though.
He’s never let me watch him with anyone else. I don’t know if I’d want to.
You’re my boys and I love seeing you make each other thrill even if it’s the kind of stuff I wouldn’t be interested in otherwise.

H: Wish I was there, we’d give you a show.

P: Oh! I have a theory

H: What is it babe?

P: Every time you come back, Eliot gets the thrill of falling in love with a new you all over again.

H: You think so, huh?

P: Maybe it’s not so bad that you’re away sometimes. Eliot loves falling in love.

H: Is it big this time? Wish I could see it.

P: It’s burning bright.

H: You think he’ll make this one work for a while?

P: No, I’m pretty sure it’s just fun. But you know the look he gets when he’s caught the bug?

H: You mean that same look you get when you see a safe you’ve never cracked?

P: You have to stop saying stuff like that when you aren’t here to make good on it.
But yeah, that look.
Like she keeps surprising him. And challenging him.

H: You all right?

P: No I’m not, dummy, I miss you.

H: But with Eliot?
P: Of course.
You know he made lava cakes for me last night?

H: Without me?

P: You’ll just have to get him to make them again when you get back.

H: Sneaky thief.

P: The sneakiest.

H: Parker says you fell hard for a federal marshal.

E: Oh, not you too.

H: Teasing getting to you?

E: It’s not the ribbing. They held back okay.
Sophie, though.

H: What, what’d Sophie say?

E: That her life changed when the right person arrested her.
Problem is, I don’t want anything to change.
Other than I wish you were here.

H: Fuck, wish I was too.
You spending the night with your fling?

E: Maybe. Haven’t decided.

H: If you do, have fun. If you don’t, call me, I can make some time.

E: Not the same when I can’t touch you.

H: Eliot. Go have fun with her.

E: Call you after?

H: Yeah. Yeah, you do that.
Wanna see you all sweaty and fucked out.

E: Even if it’s not you doing it?

H: Always, man. I wanna see you happy.
Hey, I know we need to be doing different things right now but I also know where home is. It’s wherever all three of us are.

E: Yeah. Yeah it is. Come home soon.

H: Soon as I can. Cross my heart.

B: HEY BRO! While u were gone I took down a Skynet!
B: "smugbre.jpg"

H: You took down a WHAT NOW???

P: Sophie is always saying how anniversaries are important.

H: yeah, babe. They mean a lot to her.

P: I never used to understand why but I think I'm starting to. I thought either all the days you spend with someone are special or things aren't going right. But I guess it's like a reminder. It doesn't have to be any specific day of the year or whatever, it just has to be a thing that happens at regular intervals. Just, hey. Remember to treat your special people like they're special.

H: yeah, I guess that makes sense. Do you wanna start celebrating something like that for us?

P: we already have the rule that you call me at least once a week. That's so much better than one fancy day out of the year that people get mad at each other for missing.
Do you think Sophie is mad at Nate right now?

H: Maybe. She's probably feeling a lot of things.

P: ugh. Feelings are complicated. I don't know what I should do.

H: I don't think she needs you to make a big deal out of it.

P: Actually
I do.
I think she would like it if we made a big deal about it and then she can tell us not to and sound annoyed.

H: really?
Huh. That doesn't sound totally wrong.

P: yeah, because she doesn't actually want to be babied, she just needs a reminder. That even though Nate can't be here, she still has the rest of us. She still has family.

H: Makes sense.

P: oh good. Even when I'm better at people than I used to be I'm not always good at Sophie.

W: oh great master of information, what the hell am I supposed to do to remind Sophie that I'm family? I don't know much about her and I'm not sure how true what I do know is.

H: Parker sent you my way, huh?

W: Yep. She is bound and determined to make this plan work and I am at a loss.

H: hey, I think just the fact that you're making an effort will mean something.

W: right. Super helpful.

H: listen, I have a video file that I finally managed to track down because she mentioned that she couldn't find it once. You know how to burn a DVD?

W: If I run into trouble I'll ask Breanna.

B: Alec.
Alec, why did a box of printouts just arrive at headquarters addressed to me?

H: So you know that big chunk of text my algorithm has been playing whack-a-mole with for the last while?

B: yeah, I remember you showing me the error codes, so you could keep me in the loop about the security for the team. It's a lot of text. I was like, what, is someone writing a novel about these guys?

H: Bet you thought you were kidding.

B: Oh, shit, really?
Don't tell me it's been published already.

H: Not quite. The box has all the copies of the galley I managed to divert. Not all of them. You guys need to stop the book from getting published. It's got client info, too.

B: Jeez.
Alec, I know you have world saving shit going on, but this seems big. Maybe you should come back for this one.

H: no time. Wish I'd gotten the info sooner, but this is going to press, like, now. You need to start getting stuff in motion today.

B: Right.
You know what today is, right? Parker has us all doing dumb nice things for Sophie so she can pretend to be above all of it.

H: yeah. I know.
I hope this doesn't throw in too much of a monkey wrench. But I think being busy might help too.

B: I hope you're right.

P: This book keeps calling me legendary. Legendary! Can you imagine?

H: don't play, you like the fact that most other thieves know who you are.

P: maybe. But I don't want to be a legend. Do you know what legend means?

H: uh. Means everyone knows your name?

P: it means everyone knows stories about what I've done. it means I'm a myth. I'm made up or I'm magic. I'm a character that gets passed back and forth until I'm barely me anymore.
The best thieves never get caught. The best thieves are only whispers.
Legends are loud. Legends are impossible. They're not real and they're not sneaky. They're just. Projected images.

H: I don't think the book means it that way.

P: The book MAKES it that way.

H: shit. Yeah, I see it. Okay, go take this guy down.

H: you doing all right, man?

E: Yeah I
It's stupid.

H: nah, nah it's not. This book is getting under all our skin. Whoever this guy is, he doesn't know us. He shouldn't know the things he does know.

E: it's not like they got it totally wrong. I do spend a lot of time hurting people.

H: Eliot. I know how hard you work to make sure that's not all you are. You got so much on your resume, I wouldn't know where to put you if I didn't need you right where you are. Protecting Parker. Keeping her an Breanna and Sophie safe.
There ain't time in the day to be every kind of incredible you are.

E: back atcha.

H: fuck I wish I could be home right now.

E: miss you too.
So what bothers you about the book? You should get a chance to complain about it same as us. You got kinda pigeonholed too, looks like.

H: actually
You know what it is?
In the book I date Parker, right? But it's like. Normal. It's like, some "boy, girl, can I make it any more obvious" shit. It doesn't have any of what makes dating Parker so great. And it doesn't have anything about us.

E: would you really want it to?

H: hey, I don't want any of this printed up anywhere. All I want is my best guy and my best girl.
And I just
it still bothers me sometimes that I can't be as loud about loving you as I can about loving her.

E: yeah, I know.

H: I love you, Eliot Spencer.

E: love you too, you doofus.
I guess I do hang on to seeming dangerous and scary, cause I need to be. Guess I would like the book even less if it had all the rest of my private stuff in it. If it told the world I'm soft for you.

H: yeah, I get that. And most of the time I'm just thrilled you let me see your squishy marshmallowy bits.

E: hey, you know. Breanna's okay, you can tell her if you want.

H: good, cause uh… about that.

E: couldn't keep it from her, huh?

H: she's my sister. And she knows how to keep that stuff on the downlow. She's had girlfriends who weren't especially. Uh. Out.

E: okay. Yeah.
Wish the world was a little softer so I could be softer in it more of the time. But we can be ourselves with this family, and Bre is part of this family now.

H: oh, my heart. All the warm fuzzies, it's too much!
I'll be home as soon as I can.