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Schlatt had always been allergic to cosmic brownies.
It was easy to forget if he just didn’t eat them. Some things you just avoid, and you don’t have to think about it much, cause it just isn’t a thing you think about getting, since you’ve always avoided it. He’s just avoided cosmic brownies for as long as he can remember, so why was he thinking about them now , of all times?
He… hadn’t been doing great, he’ll admit. For a while. Long time, really long time. Any happiness he’d had in the last few years had been entirely fleeting, secondary moments to the primary times of discontentment and sadness. He knows it’s stupid, but…
It was getting harder and harder to ignore the thoughts in his head that whispered temptations to him, cause in truth, it really would be better if he was dead. People online hated him, the ones that didn’t were just really fucking weird about it, his friendships with people had been on the rocks for ages, and it wasn’t like he was really trying to mend them, though to be fair no one else was, either.
Being housemates with Connor had been a breath of fresh air, but then the house got sold right out from under them, and they had to go their separate ways. Which was fine. It was fine. Better this way. Now no one close to him would have to see him like this. If they even decided to look. Schlatt hoped they didn’t.
Schlatt had gone to the store, just to get out of the house, to try and see if a walk would clear his head, so he walked to the store.
Well, the walk sure did clear his head, at least enough to make a decision.
While milling about the store, his body almost led him to the junk food aisle, to stand before the assortment of Little Debbie cakes, cookies, and brownies. His eyes drifted over to the cosmic brownies. He had always been allergic to those. Very allergic to those. In fact, one of his first memories was going into anaphylactic shock after eating one of those, his parents rushing him to the hospital.
But there would be no one to rush him to the hospital this time , his mind supplied. “Then how would I get there if I ate those? That would be bad,” he thought back. There would be no one to rush him to the hospital this time, his mind replied. He thought about it for a second, before realizing what he had to do.
It was like he blinked, and suddenly he was in the self-checkout lane, a box of cosmic brownies in his hand. That was all he would need.
He didn’t feel sad as he walked home, not really. If anything, he felt excited. No one would ever have to deal with him again! He wouldn’t get hate mail or death threats from people who don't like his channel anymore! His friends… bah. They wouldn’t miss him, not really. And even if they did, they’d only miss the idea of him.
Besides, they wanted him to be happy, right? This was the easiest way that he could be happy.
He made it home, and looked around for where he wanted to eat his brownies. Anywhere really, though maybe in a chair? Instead of just standing up? He wasn’t thinking this through very well. He sat down at his table. This was as good a spot as any.
Dumping out the box onto the table, he counted the brownies. Twelve. There were twelve brownies in the box.
The idea of eating all twelve absolutely repulsed him, but it wasn't like it’d matter soon. For some reason he felt nervous.
Hands shaking, he picked one up, unwrapped it, and took a bite. Nothing happened. He finished up that one, and moved onto another. He ate quickly, he knew how fast these things could cause anaphylaxis.
It was around the fourth brownie, five minute mark that he could feel anything wrong. His chest felt tight, the skin on his hands started looking blotchy. Still he continued.
Fifth brownie, sixth brownie. He felt like throwing up. It was getting harder to swallow, his throat feeling tighter with every bite. His mind felt blurred, but he fought to continue.
Seventh brownie. His eyes started to water, his face beginning to swell. Good, he’s always hated his face.
Schlatt could feel his heart start pounding in his chest, the beats irregular and frantic. This was the point of no return. He forced himself to eat another brownie. His breathing was coming out in wheezes now, his tongue swelling in his mouth. He didn’t think he’d be able to make it through all twelve. He could feel his throat closing up, his vision going dark. He knew he wouldn’t wake up again. Pain went in waves through his body as his strength left him, and he slumped down on the table. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.
Oh god he couldn’t breathe, why did he think this was a good idea, he couldn’t breathe. He thought his heart would just stop, or that he’d pass out, he didn’t think he would suffocate !
He began choking on his tongue, his vision going black. He could still feel himself choking, suffocating, but it felt almost secondhand.
That was faster than he’d expected.
He’d expected it to take a bit longer than that.
His time ran out.