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“I wanted to apologize.”
All the clones’ eyebrows went up at that. The survivors of the Citadel exchanged looks between each other, confused. This mission had been a clusterfuck, sure, and they had been too many losses, obviously, but then it wasn’t the first time that kind of thing happened. In fact, when you were part of the 212th or the 501st, you grew used to that fact quickly.
“I prefer to explain myself also; although this is in no way a justification of my mistakes, but rather an explanation. After some rest and meditation, it has come to my attention that my decisions during this mission were faulty at times, and some of my actions, highly inappropriate.”
“Sir-” Cody started, but Obi-Wan raised his hand and he stopped.
“As a person, and as a Jedi even more so, all lives are precious. Many great men died, and yet, only one has been honoured properly despite the fact we had but little time to waste. I cannot say I regret taking the time to honour the dead; I do not wish to lie to you all, but I can recognize it was extremely unbecoming and disrespectful of me to do so in this situation, in this way.”
Fives, who had been silent ever since the meeting began (or rather ever since they all had time to actually acknowledge their loss, if one was to be honest), put back on his helmet. If anyone knew he was crying underneath, no one commented on it. Rex put a hand on his shoulder in support and would surely follow him to wherever he’d go next after that, but the General wasn’t done yet.
“As you know, the Citadel has been built to hold Force-sensitives, rogue and dark Jedi specifically, and had done quite a good job at that. Some… never left these walls. So, I know this might be a little hard to grasp when one is not attuned to the Force, but that kind of… activity, it leaves terrible remnants behind. Just the typical ‘Force osik’, I suppose.”
There was a small smile on the Jedi’s lips, but there was little humour in it. He also seemed hesitant about adding something, but ultimately decided he would.
“Ever since some… incident, or incidents, of mine, I feel I’ve been more affected negatively by the presence of darkness. I believe my judgement was not at its best during this mission, and even if it does not excuse what happened, it seemed to me it was important to explain so,” he paused and then added, “Thus, I cannot apologize enough to you all, but I will certainly try my best in the future to prove myself better.”
There was a heavy silence in the room as Kenobi’s word sank in, where no one spoke or moved. After a while though, the room felt warmer, accepting and understanding, even to the Force null like Cody.
Still, no one moved.
“This is not an official meeting or whatnot. I wouldn’t wish to keep you any longer than the time I’ve already taken, so please do feel free to leave. Rest well, and may the Force be with you,” Obi-Wan finished softly.
It was all that was needed for things to move. The next minutes were far from the silence of the last. Some reassurances were spoken, others left without a word. Those would come back later, without a doubt. It was alright to take the time they needed. Cody took note of speaking with Rex later. As expected, he had left alongside Fives as soon as the Jedi had declared it was alright to do so.
When the General and the Commander were finally alone, the latter spoke.
“It means a lot, to them. To us.”
Obi-Wan sighed, exhaustion lacing his frame as it always did.
“I… I hope so. I didn’t mean to send such a message to you all. I can only hope your trust in me will not be affected too strongly, or indefinitely. Although, I would also understand if you decided so.”
“It won’t,” Cody assured him. Besides his vode, there was no one else he trusted more than his jetii, even with his flaws and quirks. Because it was important Obi-Wan understood how much trust they had in him, he even added with certainty, “And never will.”
After all, the Commander couldn’t imagine a world where the Jetii would do something so terrible that the clones wouldn’t, couldn’t forgive them. It was impossible.
Right?