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Chapter Text

The day seemed like any other. Aziraphale was restacking books after tending to the last customers of the day. Not for the first time, he wondered if Anathema would let him make copies of "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter". The book had no real use for the future now that the prophecies had run out, but it was still a good read. A soft hissing brought the angel back to his senses.

-

Aziraphale looked away from the bookshelf he was arranging. Next to him was a big snake. 

"Crowley. Nice to--" 

Aziraphale frowned. The snake wasn't Crowley. Crowley was reddish underneath as a snake. This snake was green. It was also too big to be a normal snake. Especially in England. 

"Wh-who are you?"

-

The snake's head snapped towards him, as if just realizing Aziraphale was there. In a swift movement, it dove under a table and curled up, attempting to hide. It's bright yellowish-green eyes were still staring up at the angel, watching him warily.

-

Aziraphale tried to go after the snake. He wondered why it was even in his shop. It clearly wasn't a normal, actual snake, but it was running from him. It didn't want to talk to him. Aziraphale couldn't reach the snake, and anyway, it would just slither away. 

"Who are you? What do you want?" he asked it.

-

The snake shied away from his hand, seeming to shake and hiss with more fear than malice. It's tongue flickered in the air before it curled up tighter.

-

Aziraphale frowned. The snake was scared of him. He kneeled on the ground to look at it properly. Snakes. Demons. But it didn't want him, clearly. Why was it here? Was it just a mutant actual snake? He reached out his hand to the snake, slowly. 

"Come out. I'm not going to hurt you." 

He realised that he would have to if this was all a trick. He sincerely hoped it wasn't.

-

Perhaps it was the kindness in his voice or maybe the absolutely pure energy radiating from him. The snake hesitantly slithered out, wrapping itself around his wrist and tilting it's head at him in a questioning way.

-

Aziraphale looked the snake in the eye, and then the other eye. It wasn't really a snake, and he didn't need his powers to tell him that it was magic. 

"You're not here for me then. Why are you here? And who are you really?" 

For a moment Aziraphale wondered if Crowley had coloured himself green and was playing a trick, but he'd know if it was Crowley.

-

The snake unwound itself and lowered onto the floor. It slithered a good distance away from him before changing forms. It shifted into a man -- more like a boy compared to Aziraphale -- that sat cross legged on the floor.

Matted and messy black hair framed curious blue eyes and he wore dirty black leather covered in what seemed like dust and hopefully not blood.

-

Aziraphale recoiled in shock. A boy? A demon boy? What could a demon boy want in his shop, but not with him? Aziraphale stumbled on his words for a moment, before managing to speak.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴.

-

The boy panicked.

"I'm sorry! I just came here! It was the first place I could think of and I didn't realize that people still lived here and I didn't think you could see me and I just wanted to hide and I don't mean any harm --"

He cut himself off, burying his face into his hands.

-

Aziraphale's face softened. "It's okay. Who are you hiding from?" He spoke gently. "And why?" 

He slowly approached the boy and touched his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

-

The boy flinched slightly at the touch before peeking out between his fingers.

"I-I don't want to go back," He stammered, "We came here b-but they don't like me. I did things and they would still be angry."

-

Aziraphale had no idea what the child was talking about, but didn't ask further, because he was clearly not in any fit state to talk. 

"Okay. What's your name?" 

"L-Loki." 

"Okay, Loki. You're safe here. Though I doubt you're very comfortable on the floor." 

Aziraphale held out his hand for the boy to take, and led him to a sofa. He wasn't sure about how he was going to calm the boy down. 

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

-

Loki shook his head, though the tiredness in his eyes said otherwise. He watched silently as Aziraphale put a cup of tea in front of him. 

"Why are you nice? I came into your place."

-

"You came because you need help. I can't refuse to help someone in need. And you didn't even know anyone lived here." 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦. 

He watched the Loki tentatively reach out to the cup of tea and waited for him to finish drinking. 

"Loki, can you tell me exactly what happened to you and who you are running from?"

-

Loki visibly tensed, his hand tightly gripping the cup. 

"Promise you won't do anything to me? No telling anyone and no... hurting me..."

-

Aziraphale was very worried for Loki. How much was he hurt for him to be so clearly affected? 

"I-I promise." 

Aziraphale meant it completely. Just what had happened to the child?

-

Loki looked at the ground, "I'm not from here. Not even this planet. It probably sounds ridiculous. I'm from another realm but recently it got destroyed. I came here with my bro— some other people but I couldn't stay with them. He doesn't realize that I shouldn't have come back to earth. I couldn't stay with him."

- 

Aziraphale felt bad for Loki. He hesitated before saying, "It doesn't sound ridiculous. I'm not from earth either." 

Aziraphale debated whether or not to elaborate. "I'm an angel." 

Aziraphale knew the child wasn't a demon, because he'd feel it, but also because Loki didn't know he was an angel. 

"Why couldn't you stay with your people?"

-

Loki's shoulder shook a little, "I did horrible things here some time ago. I didn't have a choice but no one would listen to me! They — I didn't deserve to be heard. I hurt people and worse and if they knew I came back—"

He stopped, biting his fist. He shook his head and looked away from Aziraphale. 

-

Aziraphale was at a loss for what to do. 

"It wasn't your fault, Loki." 

He approached the boy but stopped when he flinched. 

"Try to calm down. You're completely safe here, I promise. And you clearly need to rest."

-

Loki shook his head. He pulled away from Aziraphale's hand, frightened and apprehensive. 

"I-I don't want them to find me. They won't listen. No one listens and no one cares. They'll lock me up again and never let me out again. I don't want to be alone again."

-

Aziraphale was growing more and more concerned as every second passed. 

"You're not alone. I'll listen. I care." 

Of course he did. A scared child, how could he not? 

"No one's going to find you here. Just tell me who it is you're running from."

-

"I don't remember them much," Loki murmured, "The big secret group. They had a flying building and lots of machines. They could find anyone they wanted to. They had a glass box they put me in. It wasn't for me though. It was for a monster. And there was also the people who caught me. Heroes. The Avengers."

-

"Well, they won't find us. And if they do, they won't manage to get you. I promise." 

Aziraphale wasn't sure if he could keep that promise. The 'big secret group' sounded quite powerful. Then again, he was an angel. Aziraphale also wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with the child. 

"Now, I think you should rest."

- 

Loki reluctantly nodded. Aziraphale led him upstairs and into one of the guest bedrooms. Definitely not the one Crowley usually used because it was probably a mess. Then again, Aziraphale never checked. 

“There’s a bathroom over there,” He motioned to a door in the room, “You can get cleaned up. I don’t think I have any clothes that’ll fit you, though.”

“It’s ok,” Loki near whispered, “Thank you.”

-

Aziraphale left the room, closing the door. He hoped Loki wouldn't escape through a window or something out of fear. He went back down and thought about what to do. He picked up his phone. After a few rings, the person on the other end picked up. 

"Crowley, thank goodness. I need your help." 

He could almost feel Crowley roll his eyes. 

"A boy turned up a while ago. He was a snake, but he transformed into a boy. He said he was being hunted because he'd done bad things last time he came to earth. I sent him to bed, but I don't know what to do."

-

“Woah, woah, angel!” Crowley exclaimed, “Calm down! The hell are you talking about? You hit your head or something? A boy turning into a snake! Are you sure he’s not a demon? The new ones haven’t yet acquired that disgusting filth, remember?”

-

"Crowley, there was a big green snake in my bookshop. It appeared out of nowhere. I'd have sensed if he was a demon. And he had no idea who I was. He was scared of me. I convinced him to turn back into himself and he told me that he was scared of an organisation that was after him because he'd done bad things on earth. But he said he didn't have a choice when he did them." 

Aziraphale spoke quickly, wanting his friend to understand quickly and help him.

-

He paused, “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Crowley!”

“Alright! If you insist! Uh, I’m not really sure about what to do and I’m kinda busy right now. I’m in New York.”

-

"Crowley! A boy that can turn into a snake showed up in my bookshop out of nowhere and you're 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺?! 

What on earth could be more important in New York than this?"

"Weeell... I sort of ran into a bit of trouble."

"𝘊𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘺."

"It wasn't my fault!"

"Crowley, whatever mess you've gotten yourself into, you can get yourself out! You're a demon!"

- 

“I’m a demon which is exactly why I’m here!” Crowley said defensively, “Also, the trouble started when you called. I’m currently trying to chose between helping you right now and messing with some government officials and superheroes and my demon urge to do bad is calling to me. I’ll come by tomorrowseeyoulaterbye!”

He hung up before Aziraphale could protest. 

-

"Cripes, Crowley!" Aziraphale muttered, and put the phone back down. He wondered why he even bothered with the demon.

Now what? Aziraphale hoped that Loki would just sleep until tomorrow, when Crowley would come, but he doubted he'd get that lucky.

At least he was free for now. He went about making himself some tea.

Chapter Text

Crowley frowned as he stuffed his phone into his pocket. Aziraphale was much too dependent on others and spouting such nonsense!

He shook his head before lurking around the corner. The world had changed so much in the past decade. Now there were not only angels and demons, but also aliens coming to visit! Aziraphale has found it strange but Crowley couldn't help it. It was a guilty pleasure to obsess over such things.

Currently, Crowley was at some sort of compound in the rural area of New York State. There was a giant ship in the middle of a field, surrounded by government agents and at the door, several people were talking.

-

Crowley didn't have to go very close to hear the alien talking. He was loud. He listened to the alien talk about how his home planet was destroyed in some battle. Naturally, the government didn't seem to believe him. Crowley did, at least to some degree. Of course to him it seemed the best idea to just walk on scene in his sunglasses.

-

He wanted to have a dramatic entrance. He was definitely that sort of guy. Crowley shifted into his smaller snake form, slithering under black government cars and between legs until he was around the area that the people and aliens were. They were yelling at each other about some disappearance.

-

Crowley smiled. He couldn't help it, he was a demon. He slithered quickly in between the two groups.

Everyone noticed him then. The reactions were mixed. Though mostly it was fear. Who didn't fear big snakes?
One of the aliens frowned deeply at the snake. Crowley looked at him.

"Loki?" the alien asked.

Crowley would've frowned, but it was a bit difficult in snake form.

-

Before he could slither any further, the big blonde alien scooped him up.

"I'm so glad we found you!" It exclaimed.

Crowley hissed and attempted to sink his teeth into the big idiot's arm.

-

The oaf, however, barely seemed to feel it. Biting him hurt Crowley more than the alien.

"Loki," the alien sighed.

"Loki?" It came out as a hiss, so no one knew what he was saying.

Crowley transformed back into his normal form. The alien promptly dropped him. He got a pair of glasses from his pocket and slipped them on. "Hello, gentlemen."

"Shoot him!" American government, of course.

"You're not Loki?" The halfwit, of course.

-

"Who the hell is that?" Crowley muttered, "And only the humans are panicking? I really thought aliens would've been the same."

"What -- Who -- Uh???" A man who seemed human stammered, "Thor???"

The big alien guy who seemed to be called Thor had a confused expression, "Where's Loki, then?!"

"Dunno, buddy. I just came here to wreak some havoc but you guys are no fun."

-

A lot of people raised guns to Crowley.

"Ah, you Americans. Put the guns down, please. They really won't have any use on me."

"One more step and we will shoot you." Crowley assumed this was their leader. He was overly-decorated. For multiple acts of terrorism, Crowley was sure. He was supposed to support that, being a demon, but he didn't.

Crowley took a step. The guns moved. "You said you'd shoot me. You're all disappointing. Even the aliens."

-

"Sir, please--"

"Booooooring!" Crowley sang, "I'd rather listen to another of Anathema's lectures."

"Tony!" That one human said warningly to another, who Crowley now recognized as Tony Stark, "What the hell have you been up to?"

"It's not my fault!" Stark exclaimed, "I was busy trying to stop Steve from being a war criminal! Not that it worked..."

"Since when is Steve a war criminal?!?!"

-

"Since--"

"Hello, Americans and aliens? I hope you haven't already forgotten me."

"Where's Loki?! I've lost my brother, and I'm stuck here with all of you, arguing over nothing!"

"Loki, who--"

"Helped save Asgard!"

Crowley frowned at the arguing people. Aliens were meant to be cool. These ones were not.

-

"Aw, you all suck!" He complained, "You know, I have a quota to complete. I could've spent this time corrupting orphans but I just had to come and see aliens!"

Stark raised his hand at him, a metal bracelet morphing into a glowing gauntlet.

"Okay, whatsyourface. I'm gonna need ID or something to verify you're a guy I can blast to smithereens."

"Finally something exciting!" Crowley laughed, "I'd like to see you try."

-

"Challenge accepted."

"Tony," the other man said. "He turned into a snake. We don't know what he can do."

"He's alive. He can probably be blown up."

"Tony."

"Tony, Bruce!" Thor exclaimed. "Stop this! We have to find Loki. This man does not matter."

"Rude," Crowley remarked.

-

"But I want to take out my anger on someone!" Stark all but wailed, "I just found out my parents were killed and I nearly got a kid murdered by a flying psychopath! Let me do this!"

Crowley snickered "Is it weird that I want the details?"

"SHUT UP!" Everybody telling made him flinch.

-

"Very rude," he muttered.

"The priority now is Loki," Thor said.

"You still haven't explained yourselves," one of the government people countered.

"Loki, Loki, Loki. Who is this Loki?" Crowley asked.

"Loki is my brother and a prince. And he is missing. If you could remove yourself so this is done faster, that would be helpful."

-

"Uh, no? I politely decline, which is saying something because only Aziraphale is allowed to say such things. I don't understand how you aren't at least attacking me right now because obviously your brother doesn't mean anything to you."

"What are you speaking of, mortal?"

"Don't you effing call me a mortal. I am at least ten millennia older than you, even if your alien ass ages differently than humans."

-

"You claim that I do not care for my brother?!"

"You managed to lose him."

"He is the god of trickery!"

"Oh, gods now. Hah."

Thor stepped forward. "Do not speak in such ways!"

"Why not though?"

Thor opened his mouth.

One of the humans, Crowley couldn't remember which, stopped him. "Thor. Stop."

-

"No I want to hear what he has to say!" The demon exclaimed, "Because from the context I'm getting, it sound like you don't actually care. You know your brother is a trickster yet you don't keep a close eye on him. You act like you want to keep him safe even though I may or may not have heard you agreeing to turn him in for some sort of crimes that sound like they're from years ago. Do you even know what the government does to non-humans? Or have you not seen the inside of any actual experimentation labs? You're crazy and you're driving me crazy because for some reason now I'm defending a seemingly innocent person even though I'm meant to send people to hell."

-

"I do care!" Thor exclaimed. "I-I thought that he wouldn't run away again. He-we'd-we were on good terms!"

"Reaaaaally?"

"What right do you have to question gods?!"

"Well, I did help stop Armageddon... And there was the antichrist... And you're not more powerful than any of the whiny angels, are you? You're normal."

"Listen to me, mortal--"

"Not mortal."

"This is none of your business. If your job is to lead people to hell, then you have no reason to be here. And you certainly have no right to judge my relationship with my brother!"

-

Crowley paused, staring at him for a moment. Then he looked at his watch.

"Is it sad that a I genuinely forgot what I was doing here again? I was supposed to screw with you guys but I've been acting like..." He made a face, "I've been acting like a nice person. Dammit, I've spending too much time with Adam and his little friends."

-

"Anyway, I should go. My friend needs me and you're all rubbish."

Just about everyone responded, "You should."

"But that doesn't explain how you can turn into a snake!" It was one of the humans. The one whose name was Bruce or something.

"Don't return," Thor muttered, grouchy about Crowley's remarks in regards to his relationship with his brother.

-

He turned his back on them, not caring much for the guns still aimed at him.

"You're a scientist, right? Someone who likes to study things?" His voice became a venomous hiss, "Well, study this."

The crowd jumped back as a blast of fire came from the ground. Crowley shifted into a little something he'd been working on. His form, a large reptilian beast from the myths, took off into the air. Yes, he was a dragon and yes, he was a dramatic asshole.

When he disappeared into the sky, the agents and heroes alike were left speechless. Only Stark was able to muster up some words.

"Holy fucking shit."

Chapter Text

GUYS IM SO SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THIS FIC ITS ALMOST BEEN A YEAR AND U HAVE NO EXCUSES AAAAAAAAAH

I kinda forgot, then kept seeing people give kudos and literally just now realized that I really need to satiate my desire to write an angst/fluff/crack crossover so uh yeah

I’ve reread this and decided it’s really cringe but also really good so I’m gonna rewrite it with mostly the same concept when I have a good plot idea

I will say when I do it.

Thank you for your patience

IM SORRY