Work Text:
Magnus never thought he would feel so helpless surrounded by the depths of the sea. His arms were rapidly moving left and right, the bizarre pair of limbs he got below going back and forth as well, kicking by some unfamiliar instinct. His whole body was in constant action and struggle, chaotically hitting the surface of the water, guided by sheer panic.
Magnus tried to find his voice and scream, but water almost invaded his mouth when he opened it, leaving him with the only choice he still had- to keep fighting the waves without rest.
His strange body didn't know how to stay above water, didn't know how to survive this. Whether from the desperation or not, he started to hyperventilate as his head was sinking lower and lower, his mouth disappearing below the surface and then reappearing in a cycle of frantic impulses and desperate desire for survival.
The water wasn't even fighting him back. Its only wish was to swallow him, not caring for his weak attempts to prevent it.
Magnus's body was aching from trying to hold on, and refusing to obey him as he submerged, finding himself consumed by the ocean.
Hold your breath, his instincts were telling him. This body wouldn't survive long if he didn't hold his breath.
Trying to yell for help was impossible now, the instant struggle to raise to the surface still strong, only Magnus had no energy to do so.
There was a sharp spasm from deep in his body, another reaction he couldn't assimilate. Would he drown faster if he keeps kicking and trying to swim? Would it be quick and painless?
He didn't know. The only thing he was aware of, was the intense urge to breathe which would doom him. All his muscles felt weaker and weaker, his vision getting blurry and he could barely make out the blue-green entity that absorbed him. The entity that was once his world. His home.
As he was sinking further down, he was hit with the overwhelming need to feel something familiar for the last time. Because the ocean was a part of him and he was part of the ocean. And everything he experienced now was unnatural, twisted, and perverse in so many ways.
He wanted to be home so badly! Even knowing that it would destroy him. Even knowing this body won't endure it.
His vision was terrible, blocking the essence of what he longed for. Of what was taken away from him. For one tiny chunk of reality, Magnus was ready to die just so he would feel like himself again. Just so he could catch a glimpse of the small little fish he was sure was his companion even now. Just so he would be hovering in the immensity of everything he lost, everything that was taken away, sensing the caress of the water that was no longer wrestling against him.
He could imagine swimming in the vast depths like before, his body freely following the current, and his tail moving gracefully after him. Towards the life he knew and loved.
Then the pain made itself known with renewed cruelty, destroying his fantasy to pieces.
It was severe and unbearable, like his stomach had expanded to a ballon and his head was about to explode. It was worse than he had imagined, destroying any shreds of control Magnus ever had, lasting until he was suddenly and rapidly inhaling water.
The water burned at first, like trying to rip his lungs while he was coughing uncontrollably, his body shutting off. The more he coughed, the more water he inhaled. It led to the pain ending the same moment it had defeated him, being replaced by blackness.
His muscles were lifeless, his vision and hearing abandoning him like lights going out.
His last thought was of nothing. Nothing at all.
-
-
-
Magnus's broken inhale cut through the air like a knife, followed by more coughing of water, and his body convulsing violently.
He didn't understand. He thought the end had arrived.
''Breathe, just breathe... You're going to be okay.''
Someone was holding him, helping him turn on his side as water kept spilling from his mouth. There was an incoherent and ugly noise, one Magnus couldn't define.
''I'll take you to the hospital. You'll be okay,'' the noise was close and continued, although Magnus had no idea what it meant.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make out what was happening. He thought he drowned, but he hadn't. Was he on land? How?
It was too confusing, everything around him too sharp. He fell back against the presence that was holding him, immobile and weak.
Something heavy and rough, a fabric of some kind, was wrapped around him before he even realised how cold he was. He turned and saw a face- a man who was moving the fabric in an attempt to warm him.
Alexander, Magnus's wrecked mind called out, wishing for the only person whose presence would make him feel better.
Alexander... Alexander... Alexander
It wasn't him...
The realisation caused Magnus's face to twist in immense grief, hot tears falling down his face. It wasn't Alexander and it couldn't have been.
Alexander was in their home at sea, and Magnus was on land. They would never see each other again.
Magnus hadn't expected to grow fond of the mundane who saved his life, pulling him out of the water after finding him by complete accident. But Ragnor was strangely tolerable for a mundane, and just about the only person who took pity on Magnus and expressed some kind of concern.
He lived on a boat, studying the riffs and writing documentation about underwater life. After having learned that Magnus was not only homeless, but also couldn't speak and understand his language very well, Ragnor allowed him to stay for some time, in exchange for taking care of the boat and helping as much as he could.
That's how Magnus eventually started to work for Ragnor, trying to learn the mundane language, to get used to the body he now had, and to live day by day.
He hid how unhappy he was, how his heart was in pieces every time he remembered what he lost.
He was no mundane but had to stay as one. Had to think of lies to tell for why he had nothing and no one. But most of all, he had to keep going without his husband.