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Ranboo awakes to an empty bed, with tubbo’s figure missing next to him. The door to the bedroom is cracked with faint light shining through. Ranboo sleepily decides to climb out of bed to go check on Michael. After patiently climbing the ladder and opening the trapdoor, Micheal is found sleeping soundly in his bed. Ranboo climbs back down and decides to look for Tubbo.
He doesn’t usually leave during the night; Ranboo is more likely to disappear until morning because of his issues. The few times he hadn’t left in time, it was startling for Tubbo, who had no idea what to do to help. Plus he would wake micheal, and it would take tubbo forever to put him back to sleep.
Ranboo looks in every floor of the cabin but he’s nowhere to be found. He checks outside and finds Tubbo leaning onto the railing of the porch. His cheeks are red, breath smoky in the cold. He had his winter coat tightly tucked into his sides. It’s clear he’d been out here for a while. Ranboo isn’t sure how he should approach him, so he quietly steps to stand beside him so as to not scare him.
“Hi,” Tubbo sighs, “I knew you’d be here with me eventually.”
“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”
“No it’s not,” Tubbo argues.
“You’re shivering,” Ranboo deadpans.
“I’d rather be out here than in there.”
“Why- Why wouldn’t you rather be asleep?”
Tubbo goes silent.
“Would you rather not talk about it?” Ranboo asks.
“Not really, no.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’ll still be standing here next to you,” Ranboo stands closer to him.
“No, don’t do that. You’ll be cold and I don’t want you to be cold.”
“Well I don’t want you to be cold either. So I’ll be cold with you until you don’t want to be cold anymore.”
'He’s so stubborn,' Tubbo thinks. “Fine, fine, I’ll talk. I just…don’t know where to start.”
“Anywhere. What’s bothering you right now?”
“Nightmares. Every single night I have nightmares. About my execution, the destruction of L’Manberg, when I promised I would keep it and its citizens safe. I failed, and it haunts me over and over and over again and I can’t make it stop-”
“Hey, It’s alright. You did everything you could, everything you thought was right.”
“But I still failed.”
“Well, I would say it’s better you tried than not tried at all, hm? At least you cared, and that’s what counts.”
Tubbo didn’t speak anymore. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to believe his love, but he just couldn't. He can’t forgive himself for everything that’s happened, and he doesn’t know why.
Ranboo was trying to convince Tubbo it wasn’t his fault, but in all his efforts, there were no words that could heal a wound so deep. Good thing actions speak louder than words.
“C’mere, I want to do something really quick,” Ranboo takes Tubbo’s hand in his and leads him to the mansion.
“Why are we here? We haven’t moved in yet-”
“Just come with me,” Ranboo pulls him inside the large doors and up the stairs. He takes him to the ballroom; Extravagantly decorated with elegant beige and white walls with golden accents, and polished thick wooden flooring. A large chandelier hangs from the center of the room dimly lighting the room with the candles burning. There are a few chairs stacked and lining the walls, but other than that the room was mainly empty. Ranboo leads him to the center of the room underneath the chandelier.
“Will you dance with me, my beloved?” Ranboo extends his other hand in Tubbo’s direction.
“Sure,” Tubbo takes it with a small smile.
Ranboo pulls Tubbo in close, looking into his eyes hoping to make him forget about all the nightmares and trauma and pain, even if just for a second. They hold eye contact for a moment. It isn’t awkward or uncomfortable or prolonging, just...loving. Tubbo tucks his head into Ranboo’s chest as they gently sway. Ranboo begins humming a tune to the rhythm of their dance.
At first he doesn’t notice, but Ranboo soon hears Tubbo sniffling. He moves one of his hands to rub his back carefully. Tubbo flinches at first touch, but it doesn’t take long at all for him to accept it.
“It’s okay,” Ranboo reassures Tubbo that it's okay to release what’s hurting him. So he does. It starts with a few whimpers, and devolves into sobs., body-wracking sobs. Once he starts, he can’t stop. He can barely hold himself up without Ranboo keeping a grip on him.
“It’s alright bee,” Ranboo continues, soothing him with the circulating motions on his back.
“The fireworks- Its hurts-” Tubbo cries out, gasping between breaths, “Make it stop-”
“I know, I know. You’re okay now,” Ranboo rocks him, “Shhh.”
It takes a while, but eventually he’s able to breathe more clearly. Ranboo refuses to stop comforting him until Tubbo tells him to stop; Just like always.
“Shhh.”
Tubbo chooses to let him continue. It’s times like these he feels like he’s alive again- free. Like he’s allowed to feel something. Like he doesn’t have to stand up strong on a podium and tell everyone everything will be okay when it’s not. Because he has someone to be that person for him; Ranboo.
Tubbo slumps a bit as his body starts giving out from exhaustion.
“Tubbo? You okay?” Ranboo whispers.
“I don’t know,” He sluggishly replies, voice raspy, lost of hope.
“Do you want to go back to bed?”
“I’m scared.”
“It’s alright, I’m here. I’ll always be here for you, Tubbo,” Ranboo quietly assures.
It takes until almost sunrise, but eventually Tubbo agrees to be taken back to bed. Just like it would take a bit of time for him to begin to heal, but Ranboo would be there to help him as much or little as he needed.
For now, every time Tubbo’s upset, he’s angry, he’s defensive, Ranboo takes Tubbo to dance. He never argues against it, he never walks away. He accepts the dance. He accepts his will to heal and to be healed.