Chapter Text
Bill proposed! Of course I said yes. Fleur Weasley, it has a nice sound to it. I've written to my family to let them know, and have already started thinking about wedding plans. Gringotts is sending him on an away job for a few months starting in July, so I will be taking the time to get to know his family. They'll be mine soon too.
I dream frequently of our wedding: the smiling faces of friends and family, the gentle music playing, and I walk down the aisle in my simple but elegant gown towards a man with gorgeous long red hair and kind blue eyes.
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They hate me. Well not all of them, but his mother and sister do. Most of the rest just pretend like I'm not around, though his youngest brother can barely try to hide his attraction. But he's Bill's brother and Harry's friend, so I can at least tolerate him. So long as he doesn't yell a ball invitation at me again. I have no one to talk to, and it is frustrating. I do not want to just cook and mind chickens. His and Harry's friend Hermione also came a few days later. I do not think she likes me, but I do not think she dislikes me? I'm not certain, she's polite at least but so were many of the girls at Beauxbatons. . . at least to my face.
If she's here I wonder why Harry isn't. . .
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Harry is here! He's always been nice, even when I didn't exactly deserve it. I will never forget him saving Gabrielle. I insisted on taking his breakfast to him. As I approached I could hear them talking. Ginevra thinks she's clever, calling me Phlegm. I decided to get even. I know she has a crush on Harry so I went into the room with a bright smile and just the barest hint of my veela nature. I made sure to kiss Harry's cheeks and he did not disappoint me with the cute shade of red he turned. I could feel Ginevra's glare which only widened my smile.
That night I dreamt of her giving me that same glare as I married her brother. It was no less sweet.
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Harry and the others are returning to Hogwarts. Harry made it less boring here. I was able to smile naturally. It is nice having someone to talk to. Owls from Bill don't count. He's not here, and they're so infrequent. I miss him.
I dream of our wedding often, I've mostly planned it now and I can see it all clearly. He's waiting for me at the end of that altar called time. I just have to hold on. He'll be back soon.
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There's a meeting of the Order. I mostly joined for Bill, but it is a good cause and there are others I care about here. Alastor Moody raised a point that especially with the pink toad at the castle last year, Harry is behind in combat training. Albus tried to handwave, but the old auror pushed. I agreed with him. Harry has been attacked so many times. I have heard about several by now, and I remember the tournament. I remember him clutching the body of Cedric, our friend. The headmaster said that there was no one to train him, that those suitable were needed elsewhere. I volunteered. I am a capable duelist, and I am mostly a member of the Order in name only. If I can do some good by teaching him then I will. It will kill time until Bill is back. And it will get me out of the house filled with people who do not like me. Albus cannot think of a refutation. Every fortnight I will travel to Hogwarts and teach them to duel.
I eagerly wrote to Bill to share the exciting news.
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An owl came from Bill. The dig has been extended. He says he'll be home for Christmas.
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It is October now. I have been training Ronald and Hermione in addition to Harry. They are skilled, and learn quickly. They have extra motivation today, as their schoolmate Katie was killed recently by a dark artefact. I could tell it was weighing on Harry especially hard. After the lesson I held him back to talk. Sometimes it's easier to discuss things with someone you don't see every day. It takes some effort but I get him to open up, and once he does more comes out than I expected. He told me of his guilt over Katie's death, that he knows it's Draco Malfoy but can't get anyone to believe him. He spoke of the pain of losing his godfather and with it the dream of a life he could have had. I heard about the silence and the secrets, of the violation of his mind by a man who hates him. I do not think he meant to, but he spoke of the prophecy and his terror that he has to kill or die. It is so much to place on him. I want to say to place on a boy, but he proved to me during the Tournament he is more a man than many thrice his age. I hold him while he breaks down and within me an anger grows. He is not a champignon, and I swear I will tear into those who have treated him like one.
Over three months since I have seen Bill. He is deep into the dig, and the owls have grown sparse. I dream of our wedding, but the aisle seems so much longer.
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It's almost December, and it was my turn to cry on Harry. Ronald and Hermione were not there, they've been fighting. Harry came alone and I suppose I did not hide the red of my eyes well enough. He did not want to practice, he wanted to hear what was wrong. Sometimes it's easier to discuss things with someone you don't see every day. That's what I said last time, and it's true for me too. I told him how I haven't heard from Bill in weeks, that his mother still treats me horribly and his father won't do anything to stop it. He doesn't defend them, he's seen enough of their behavior towards me to know I am not lying or exaggerating. Instead he reassured me that it'll pass, told me about how they made an orphan boy part of their family and that he knows there's room for a French witch too.
I yearn for the Weasleys in his stories, how much easier the separation would be if I had them instead of the hate and the dismissal.
He held me while I cried as I held him. I felt better and apologized for wasting the training time. "You're more important" he said. I wish he wasn't the only one who thought so.
Christmas cannot come soon enough.
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Harry sent me a letter. Once again there's a party he needs a date to and with Ronald and Hermione still arguing he doesn't have anyone else to speak to about it. Apparently some girls are trying to slip him a love potion and he feels disgusted. I do not blame him. How they're not illegal in the UK I don't understand. This is just one of many reasons France is the better country. I can tell he's just venting, he does not expect me to solve his problem, but that doesn't mean I can't do so anyway. I will offer to be his date. It would be nice to get out of the Burrow for something that isn't Order business, and he is pleasant company.
I wonder if I'll ever go to something like this with Bill? Assuming he's still in the country ever when we're married. I may be a little angry at him. He finally owled me again and it was a single line.
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I was not expecting Harry to kiss me.
He met me at the Entrance Hall. I admit he looked very dashing in dress robes the same shade of green as his eyes. I myself was in a silver set, and as I removed my cloak I could feel him eyeing me appreciatively. This is nothing new, I am very attractive. I know this, and though he does not leer he is still a teenage boy and there is only so much temptation he can resist. I may have preened a little under his gaze. With Bill gone it has been some time since I've actually felt desired. His is a gentleman, so I did not expect anything more than the occasional roaming eye.
At the party we were introduced to many of Horace Slughorn's guests, a real collection of famous English names that even I recognized several of. He seemed very impressed that Harry arrived with a part-Veela on his arm, so I supposed I won him some points with his professor. After the introductions we went for refreshments. I was pleased to see Horace did not skimp on the alcohol, and I managed to convince Harry to have some as well. He has gone through a lot, he deserves a few good drinks. It even got him to dance with me for a few songs. It was so much fun! I wish I had asked him to the Yule Ball instead of that Ravenclaw boy I went with. I do not even remember his name, just that I was glad his attempts to kiss me in the garden were interrupted by Snape.
Speaking of that greasy man, Draco Malfoy was caught nearby and Snape dragged him off to interrogate him. Harry clearly wanted to follow, it was painfully obvious. He has been told to sit still and behave like a good little champignon enough, I will not be one of those. I told him he could go, that I would cover for him. The look in his eyes when he realized I trusted him in this, I think that is why he stayed by me the rest of the night.
We returned to the Gryffindor common room after the party. I was too drunk to return to the Burrow on my own. There were some seventh year girls still up, they offered the spare bed. A wave of sadness passed over as we were all reminded of their friend Katie. Harry and I stayed in the common room for a while, I did not want him going to bed depressed. We talked about everything and nothing until I'm sure the sun was soon to rise. As I sobered I grew tired, and eventually bid him goodnight. He stopped me just as I was climbing the stairs, and quickly pressed his lips to mine. I don't remember if I kissed back, I was too surprised. Surprised that it happened, and surprised by how good it felt.
It was almost six months since my last kiss.
It was a testament to my exhaustion I was able to sleep. I did not dream of my wedding. I haven't for the last month.
When I awoke I hurried out of the castle. Things were going to be awkward the next few weeks.
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The day they returned to the Burrow. Harry did his best not to look at me that day nor the next two. I caught him at the end of the third, I had to do something or Christmas would be a giant awkward mess and I didn't want Bill to think there was something between Harry and myself because he noticed we could not look at each other.
I told him that I did not blame him, that he was drunk and it was a heat of the moment thing. We both knew we had sobered by then, but he was thankful for the lie and went with it, apologizing for drinking too much. He agreed and apologized, hoping we could just forget it happened. With that things eased.
Bill will return tomorrow, I cannot wait to see him again.
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I did not expect it to be so hard to spend time with Bill alone. His mother is keeping him busy, asking hundreds of questions and asking him to help with various things. He just got back, she should let him rest. At the very least she should let us have a moment! We haven't seen each other in half a year. I understand he missed his family too, but I do not think it much to ask he spend some quality time with me.
Several order members came for Christmas day, it was nice having others to talk to for a while. Sadly, the English minister arrived and most of them had to leave. He had a predatory aura to him as he forced his way into the Burrow and made Harry escort him for a ‘walk.’ He just wants to use Harry, it's obvious. No one really tried to stop him. I could feel the anger rising again, but Bill held me back when I meant to follow them.
I had hoped he would take my side on this.
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Bill has left again, apparently a new job they need him on. He was only here a week, and I barely got any alone time with him.
I thought seeing him again would make things easier, now it just hurts more. I dreamt of my wedding again, but there was no one waiting for me at the altar.
At least Harry has started writing me more often.
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With the new term Ronald and Hermione have rejoined the lessons. It makes it easier being around Harry. I know we agreed to move past it, but sometimes I find myself thinking about it again and I know he does too from the way he occasionally goes red when I get close correcting his form. I don't think about it because of him, just because it's the last time I was kissed. I'm a very touchy lover, so having my fiancé so far away is extra difficult for me. I want to hold, I want to be held. And more than any of that I want to be kissed.
The dream is gone again, I don't know if I prefer this to the empty altar.
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It's Valentine's Day and I finally got to see the Molly Weasley that Harry knows.
An owl arrived early from Bill. I was excited, it was Valentine's and he sent an owl. Obviously this was a heartfelt letter for me, no? No. I wasn't even mentioned, it was just an update for his mother that he arrived back safe with a "Tell Fleur I love her" at the end. He could have written me something specifically but he didn't. He didn't, and that knowledge caused me to break down. I don't know if it's because she's finally warming to me or just her natural instincts as a mother but as I cried I found myself in her arms, her shushing softly and petting my hair. She wasn't too happy with her son, and made her displeasure evident in her response to him. She may not like me, but this is at least progress I suppose.
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A few days later I received an owl from Bill. It had a 3 page letter, starting with an apology. He forgot the date, he said, and was penning something longer for me. It's mostly an in depth explanation of the job with a few notes on the charms he's coming across. I smile at him remembering my fascination with them.
I haven't dreamt of my wedding in a month again, though Molly Weasley has appeared a few times.
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Harry confided in me after today's lesson. I think that means we're fully past the kiss as he didn't blush at all today either.
He told me Dumbledore asked him to retrieve a memory from Horace Slughorn, but he doesn't know how to go about it. I offered a few suggestions on how he could approach the situation, but I don't know Horace enough to be of much help.
I dream of Slughorn's Christmas party, dancing the night away.
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Ronald was poisoned. We went to the castle to see him. I consoled Molly the best I could, she must have appreciated it because she was very warm towards me and even snapped at Ginevra for a muttered statement about my not belonging there. It warmed my heart.
I checked in with Harry and Hermione. They'd both been crying, apparently it was a close call. We spent hours by Ronald's bedside.
I owled Bill to let him know his brother was poisoned, but we expect a full recovery.
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Ronald is out of the hospital wing, and all three of them show renewed dedication to their training.
I received an owl from Bill. It's mostly concern for his brother, and I do not grudge him that.
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It's the Easter Holiday. Bill is still gone, I'm not sure if he'll be back before July. He hasn't said anything about how long this job will last.
Ron has stopped acting awkward around me, and I find him much better company now. I've been spending most of my time watching him and Harry play chess. I try sometimes to give Harry advice, but I think I make things worse as often as I make them better.
It's been three months since I dreamt of my wedding.
Bill hasn't said anything for weeks even though I've written frequently. He must be very busy, or maybe he hasn't seen them yet. He could be deep in a tomb right now.
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It's early May. I wrote to Maman for advice. I've spent almost as much time waiting for Bill as I have dating him. Even with the new if subtle warmth between his mother and myself I am still very lonely. The others returned to Hogwarts, so I only get to see them every other week, and only for a few hours. Surely this is worth it?
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Maman wrote back quickly. Now that I'm expressing doubt, she confirms she agreed with Molly Weasley that things were a bit rushed. Ultimately, she wrote, she wants me to be happy. And if I'm not, I should consider what my future will be like if I hold on. I do give it thought, and I'm not sure Bill wants to stay in the UK all of the time. We should have discussed things more.
I sent Bill an owl. We need to talk.
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I confessed to Bill's mother that I want to postpone the wedding. Honestly despite her earlier comments I expected her to be cross with me, but instead I got a warm smile and her approval.
I don't think she hates me, I don't think she ever did. Maybe she just thought (knew?) I wasn't right for Bill. Maybe she's right.
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It's mid June now.
Bill still hasn't responded. It's been weeks. We need to talk. If I knew where he was I'd go to him. I can't do this.
It's been 5 months since I dreamt of my wedding.
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I sent back the ring.
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Bill's back. Apparently Albus wants him nearby in case something happens while he's performing some secret mission for the Order. Would he even have returned otherwise?
We finally have that talk. We're not done, but it's obvious we were rushing and with things how they currently are we need to focus on other things. When it's calmed down and he's able to stay in the country we'll date a bit more and then get married after that. I told him to keep the ring until then.
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Death Eaters attacked the school.
Albus is dead, Snape killed him.
Harry was right, it was all Draco Malfoy. It was a bloody fight. We managed to take down the Carrows, but a few order members are dead and Bill was badly maimed by Fenrir Greyback. He'll survive, but Remus doesn't know what it'll mean. He won't be a true werewolf, likely, but there's contamination and scarring. I do not mind the scars, and tell him such. I've been judged for and by my looks since I was a young girl, looks don't matter to me as much as character. I am beautiful enough for two people. Still, we are not as close as we were and I wonder if things were different would I be the one taking care of him instead of Molly?
Harry is broken, but still he takes the time to comfort me. I hugged him tightly. I am not as torn up as perhaps I should be, and someone needs to comfort him. He just lost the closest thing to a grandfather he has ever known.
Apparently Harry was with Albus. It's part of some secret mission to defeat the Dark Lord. Harry dodged most of the questions asked of him about it, but it was obvious Ronald and Hermione knew as well.
I dreamt that Bill died during the attack.
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The funeral was somber. I sat on one side of Harry while Hermione was on the other. We each took one of his hands and held it through the event. I don't think he noticed. The headmaster's phoenix sang a song as beautiful as it was sad, and we all bid Albus Dumbledore goodbye.
The train will depart later today. The students want to ride it, mostly for the normalcy I think. Before they board I speak to Harry and he tells me everything. I was horrified to learn what the Dark Lord has done to stay alive. Worst of all, I think, is to find out the headmaster had weakened himself in vain, for the locket he and Harry retrieved was a fake. Hopefully RAB was able to destroy the real locket, but there's no way to know without finding this mysterious traitor.
Harry also tells me he's not going back to Hogwarts next year, that he needs to find the. . . the horcruxes and destroy them. I offered to join him. He tried to talk me out of it, but I could tell he didn't really want to convince me. I'm sure Ron and Hermione will be going as well, and there will be a safety in numbers. He's agreed to prepare a bit before departing on this quest, so that he's officially 17 and free of the Trace.
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Harry needs to stay with his muggles one last time, so he missed Remus' and Nymphadora's wedding.
It was a quiet affair, smaller and more subdued than what I was planning for mine. I am happy for them, that they can be together despite everything happening. Bill recovered enough that he's gone again, there's doubt his family will be able to work much longer and they need the money desperately. When I see him off I kiss his cheek. It doesn't feel right to kiss his lips any more. Not because of the scarring, but because the emotion is gone.
I guess we'll be starting from ground zero whenever we can start again.
It's been 6 months since I've dreamt of my wedding, but I finally dream of it again. It's smaller, more like the Lupin's. The groom has no face.
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We retrieved Harry.
It cost us Mad-Eye, I'll miss him. He was like the crazy drunk uncle of the Order. Harry and I rode a thestral, we figured I'd be one of the last targets given our interactions aren't widely known. We flew to a safehouse then portkeyed to the Burrow. I think having us all be here is a bad idea, it's the first place I would look for Harry, but c'est comme ça.
We drank to the old auror, perhaps too much. I fell asleep on Harry's shoulder.
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Molly knows Harry's planning to leave with Ron and Hermione. She asks me to help her run interference. She's not aware I'm going too. It's for the best. I agree to take the lead and it allows us to plan more easily.
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It is Harry's birthday.
We manage to have several people over for the party, but it is interrupted by the English minister. He has things to give out from Albus’ will.
Rufus Scrimgeour aside, Harry manages to forget his worries for the day. It is good to see him full of joy, he looked so broken after what happened in June. He got a Weasley heirloom from Arthur and Molly, a beautiful symbol that he's part of the family. I thought he was going to cry.
As a birthday present before he goes to bed I give him a kiss. He looked so cute stuttering over himself after I couldn't help giving him a wink as well.
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The ministry has fallen.
No one expected it to happen this soon. We panicked, knowing we only had seconds to react. Bill tried to get me to apparate with him to the safehouse he established, but I shook him off. I needed to find Harry, I wasn't going to let him go without me.
I barely managed to get to him before the Death Eaters arrived, but I did it. Thankfully Hermione was prepared and had all of our stuff ready to leave in an emergency. After an incident in muggle London we returned to Grimmauld. It's risky. With Albus dead we are each a secret keeper. . . including Snape. But we have nowhere else to turn to, and there are protections in place.
We're all exhausted and a bit grumpy. We didn't expect to have to leave so suddenly, we don't have a good starting point for our search yet.
It was supposed to be my wedding day.
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We found RAB!
It was Sirius' brother. We hear the tale from Kreacher, and he is so much nicer now he has the fake locket. Harry sent him to look for Mundungus, who made off with the real horcrux.
Hermione and Ronald are growing closer, taking comfort in each other.
I wish I had someone to hold my hand while I slept.
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Remus showed up yesterday.
He wanted to join us. We could use the help, but he was joining for the wrong reasons. Imagine the nerve it takes to leave your pregnant wife to try and galavant on what could be a suicide mission! Harry and I both laid into him, and he stormed off. Hopefully back to Nymphadora, I know what it's like to be abandoned so I can imagine her pain quite easily.
Kreacher returned with the filthy criminal. Good news is we know where the locket is, the bad news is it's with the pink toad. Harry's been staring at his hand since we found out. I managed to get a good look and I saw the scars. When we get her I will make her hurt.
There are Death Eaters watching the house, at least as much as they can without knowing the secret. We need to be careful.
I'm not sleeping long enough to dream.
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Watching Ron and Hermione is unbearable. Would I be like that with Bill if he were here? It doesn't matter, because he's not.
While the younger Weasley and Hermione have their subtle romantic exchanges I looked for Harry. He's been keeping a distance by staying in Sirius' room. I wonder if it's grief that keeps him there or if he's avoiding the same displays I am?
We talked for a few hours, lying on the bed next to each other. He's angry at Albus for not preparing him better, thankful that I at least took the time to help him learn to fight. I told him about my frustrations with Bill and that I broke off the engagement. He pet my hair while we talked the same way Molly did those few months ago. I was finally able to drift off there beside him.
I dream of my wedding again. Maybe it's because I've been watching the romance between Ron and Hermione, but it's vivid again. The smiling faces of friends and family, the gentle music playing, and I walk down the aisle in my simple but elegant gown towards a man with gorgeous red hair and brilliant green eyes.
I woke up pressed against him. He was still asleep. I forgot how nice the warmth of another person is while you sleep.
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We've been watching the Ministry, planning our infiltration route.
Hermione made plenty of polyjuice, so sneaking in will be simple once we have identities to take. Apparently the hag is running muggleborn interrogation panels. From what I've heard of her it sounds like something she'd do.
I've taken one of the spare bedrooms as my own, but I don't sleep easily there so a few times I've gone to Harry's room. He doesn't say anything, he understands that what I'm looking for isn't romance. We take comfort in those moments and the sleep comes so much easier.
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Snape is the new headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry is outraged. He decided we should infiltrate the ministry tomorrow. The rest of us don't think we're ready, but he made a good point that we can't ever really be ready.
I'm worried it'll all go wrong.
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We got the locket, but we can't go back to Grimmauld.
Things fell apart immediately. We were separated, Ron forced to fix a weather charm to save a woman's life and Hermione and myself taken to a courtroom with the toad. Harry at least was free to act.
The trials for muggleborns were a sham. How would a muggle steal magic? It makes no sense, but they don't really care. I could not act without jeopardizing our mission, so I watched and stoked my anger. It's rare for me to wish I had the full veela blood of my grandmother, but I did there. I wanted to make them burn.
Harry slipped into the room, and when he saw what was going on he couldn't sit and watch like we were. He sees people in trouble he has to act, so he saved them without a second thought. Just like he saved a little girl in a lake what seems now like a lifetime ago but was really two years. He is brave and has a good heart, it is why I admire him.
The toad was not expecting there to be several of us, and we easily overwhelmed her. She had the locket, so we took it and freed the prisoners. It was close, but we managed to get them out. We were less lucky. We escaped, but a Death Eater grabbed Hermione as we were apparating. He knows now, and is free to tell the others. We had to leave. I hope Kreacher is okay.
We're camping now, we don't have a way to any other safehouse.
Harry is seeing through the Dark Lord's eyes, he is searching for something and it seems he may be going after Gregorovitch. I worry about this connection, it causes Harry so much pain but he won't even try to block it out. All I can do is hold him after, providing what comfort I can.
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It's been a week since the ministry.
We share the burden of the locket. It's a heavy thing, and as I wear it my mind drifts back to my wedding, to Bill. We were foolish, we barely know each other. I've put myself at risk for him when I could be safe back in France with my family. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't care.
I've passed the locket to Ron now. It affects him more than the rest of us, but we each must take our turn. Now I am free of it I think of Harry and how he needs my help. I could have left, I did not need to promise to stand with him.
We do not hide the fact we share a bed anymore. How can we with so little privacy? Besides, those two do as well. It makes things more bearable, especially the locket. We have no idea how to destroy it, so it remains an albatross around our necks.
I dream of my wedding, the locket strangles me before I reach the altar.
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Ronald has left.
We encountered a group of refugees, including one of their classmates and a goblin. Ginevra and her friends tried to steal the Sword of Gryffindor. Apparently though the sword is a fake. The portrait Hermione took from Harry's house confirmed the incident. Where is the real sword? If we find it we can finally be rid of this accursed locket. Harry misspoke, and Ron was wearing the locket. They got into a fight, an actual one. Ronald cannot handle that things are difficult, what did he expect? He left the locket but then left us.
Hermione is a mess and Harry has shut down. I try and comfort them both, but he took part of them with him. I don't think any of us knew just how much they rely on him.
When Hermione came in from her watch she gave me a look similar to the ones I gave her and Ronald in Grimmauld. I don't know how I feel about that.
She dallies as we pack. We need to move camps, but neither Harry nor I press her. We know why she wants to wait, what she hopes will happen. Just as I know she will cry herself to sleep tonight.
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Ronald has been gone a week.
By unspoken agreement Harry and I focus on helping Hermione cope.
Harry discusses anything he can, Gregorovitch and where the sword might be. He goes over the history of Tom Riddle, thinking of places horcruxes may hide. I have her go over transfiguration with me. I'm not as bad at it as I pretend, and Harry already knows the arguments against his ideas, but we're not doing it to learn or to plan we're doing it to keep her mind busy.
Harry and I no longer sleep together, we know it hurts her.
I dream that Harry leaves instead of Ron. It hurts me.
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It's been weeks since Ronald left.
Hermione is doing better, but Harry and I are still careful around her. Our comfort has changed from nights in each other's arms to longing glances and quiet kisses while she's on watch. Would he be doing this with Hermione if I were not here? I don't like to think about it, but I do when I wear the locket.
I dream of my wedding and Bill's not the one waiting for me at the altar anymore.
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It's getting colder, we won't be able to forage for much longer.
Our thoughts turn to home and loved ones. Harry wants to visit Godric's Hollow, to see the family he's never known. I suggested a trip to France, just to rest and maybe to winter. Hermione did not say anything, but while she was on watch we discussed her. We know she wants to go to the Burrow, to see Ron. Maybe to bring him back.
We sent her for supplies. We need real food and to better prepare for winter. Harry gave her his cloak, and I made a passing mention of a store near Ottery St. Catchpole. Hermione knew what we were doing and her small smile was all the answer we needed to know she knew we were giving her the okay.
She will be gone for a few hours, I'm sure.
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While she was gone Harry and I made love for the first time.
We shed the locket, it would be safe on the table for just this bit of time. It was sweet, our first real admission that this was more than comfort in a dark time. I felt safe with him on top of me, inside me. I wish we could have stayed tangled up in the afterglow, but we could not. She will be back soon, so I will enjoy the warmth of his head in my lap just a while longer.
His hair is soft under my fingers, his breathing light as he sleeps.
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Hermione is worried.
She managed to sneak close enough to talk to Molly, but Ron never went to the Burrow. She told Molly he got lost, not that he left.
Where could he have gone?
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We've agreed to go to Godric's Hollow.
Hermione thinks there may be a clue there, and Harry latches onto that thought to convince her. I know that's the furthest thing from his mind, but she has a point.
We found some muggles to use for the polyjuice, a couple and someone close enough in appearance to be the man's sister.
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We went to Godric's Hollow yesterday, it turns out it's Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel like it's been almost 5 months since the ministry fell.
We found the graves of the Potters. It's not how I imagined meeting my lover's parents when I was a little girl. I held Harry's hand while he cried for them, Hermione a few feet behind us keeping watch. He confessed to me sometimes he wishes he had died that night too. I told him I am glad he didn't because we would not have met.
We were found by who we thought was Bathilda Bagshot, the famous historian. Harry decided to trust her, and we went to her house. It was a trap. The real Bathilda was dead, and the imposter was the Dark Lord's snake. We barely got out in time, Harry's wand was broken and he was injured badly. Damage from being thrown away, he was bitten by the snake, and the locket seared itself into his chest. We had to cut it away. Hermione put it in her bag. She says we need time without it affecting us and I agree, especially after what it did to Harry. We spent most of the night tending his wounds, taking turns resting our eyes. Harry has so many scars, I wish I could take him away from all of this.
He awoke while I was tending him and Hermione was reading the book she took from Bathilda's house. It looks like the thief was Grindlewald. Merde.
Harry's faith in Albus is shattered, he's taking the words of that lying journaliste to heart. We try to talk sense to him, he of all people knows what she's like. But he won't listen, I think he needs to hate Albus right now.
Harry is on watch now. Losing his wand hit him as hard as Ronald leaving. He's using mine right now, it works better for him than Hermione's. I think it's because my wand is emotional and my feelings for him influence it. Hermione dismisses us, thinking each wand is as good as the other. Then why bother matching wands to witches and wizards? I do not imagine my grandmother's love in my wand, it is there.
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We left early. Hermione heard noises during her watch like someone was looking around. We're now in the Forest of Dean.
I was glad to wake early. I was dreaming of my wedding. Albus officiated, except when I went to say “I do” he turned into a snake and killed Harry.
We re-established camp. Harry is taking watch and I’m going to try to sleep more. Hermione is already out.
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Ron is back and the horcrux is gone!
I awoke with a feeling of dread. I dashed out of the tent and followed the tracks in the snow, wondering why Harry would leave. I saw him as he lept into a nearby lake. I watched, waiting for him to come up. He wasn't coming up. Why do my loved ones keep getting taken by lakes? I did not think, I dived in after him. There were no grindylows, and even if there were I was better prepared. He had the sword! But he still had the locket on. It was killing him. I swam as fast as I could, pulling him to the shore. It took effort, but I forced the locket off of him. I managed to get him breathing again, and we decided now was the time to kill the locket.
I'd never heard parseltongue before, and it was creepy hearing it come from Harry. the locket opened, and it had eyes and it spoke. It played on his guilt. His guilt of those who died protecting him, of what he dragged us into. . . of taking me from Bill. He was in agony, I could tell. He dropped the sword and I ran to him, trying to drown out the locket's lies with my truth. It turned to me then, and I can't explain how compelling it was then. When it spoke to Harry I could tell what it was doing, that its words were false. But when they were aimed at me. . .
It would have won, I think. We couldn't do anything it had us so enthralled. But then Ronald, Ron, was there. He gripped the fallen sword and swung it hard upon the locket, shattering it.
When we realized it was gone and who finished it, Harry charged his friend and latched on tight. He would probably deny it but he was crying, losing Ron had hurt him so much. I joined their hug and we laughed all the way back to camp.
Hermione was less welcoming. She berated him, threatened him, even sent a few spells that Harry had to block. I forgot he had my wand. Finally though we all settled down. We are together again, whole.
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Apparently he had been staying with Bill until he could find a way back to us. It's been so long since I thought of Bill and now he's come up twice in one day. It's weird realizing how rarely I now think of the man who would have been my husband.
Ron also told us how he got back. Bless you, Albus Dumbledore.
Harry cannot take his eyes of Ron for long, like he expects him to disappear. He angles our bed so he has a good view of the floor Ron claims as his own, like Ron will sneak off again if he doesn't watch. I let him, I'm glad to see Ron back too and I know Hermione as well, even if she will not admit it yet.
I made sure to talk to Harry in private. To tell him again what the locket said was a lie. He did not steal me, I am not a thing. And I stopped loving Bill long before I loved Harry. I tell him I love him for the first time, he whispers it back softly.
I dream of my wedding, with Hermione as maid of honor and Ron as best man.
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Our spirits are renewed with Ron back with us.
Ron told us news of the snatchers, the Taboo, and the Quibbler. I should have realized the Taboo charm had been used, it made so much sense. He managed to get a spare wand from a snatcher which worked well enough for Harry that mine is my own again.
We decided to see Xenophilius Lovegood tomorrow. He is the editor of the Quibbler, the only honest paper in England at the moment, and the father of their friend Luna. I'm glad we still have allies.
I make sure Ron and Hermione have time to talk alone, it's easy to get Harry to let Ron out of his sight with the promise of kisses. I wonder when he'll figure out I want them as desperately as he does.
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Xenophilius betrayed us, but I do not blame him.
They have his daughter. I'm not certain what I wouldn't be willing to do if they had Gabrielle. I am thankful she is safe in France.
He hid from us that Luna was taken, and stalled while the Death Eaters made their way. He told us the strange symbol in Hermione's book and Albus' letters was the sign of the Deathly Hallows. I thought I'd never heard of them, but they were the artefacts from the Tale of the Three Brothers. Everyone's heard that story. Well, except Harry.
We all caught each other's eye during the discussion. We knew of an invisibility cloak like the story. How had it never occurred to me that Harry's shouldn't be a family heirloom?
When we found out about the Death Eaters, Harry made sure they spotted them. He didn't want Xenophilius getting hurt for lying. I do not know if I would risk myself for him like that, but Harry is a good man. Perhaps to a fault.
Back at camp we discussed the Hallows. While his cloak is definitely unique, I agree with Hermione that the others can't possibly exist. Perhaps an exceptional witch or wizard made a lasting cloak, but a stone to raise the dead? Impossible. I do not tell Harry this though. Hermione is adamant enough, and Ron plays both sides to keep his friends happy. I will let Harry have his hope, he needs something to focus on.
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Another thing Ron shared with us is Potterwatch. The name is cute, no?
It's a hidden radio station run by the twins. It's been a good source of news and relief. We frequently recognize our friends even through their code names. Harry had the biggest smile when Remus thanked him for the stern words back in Grimmauld. I'm thankful Nymphadora still has her husband, though I hope she gave him a piece of her mind!
I dream we're all at the Burrow, happy and safe.
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A discarded muggle paper tells us it is February.
Ron and Hermione fully made up a while ago, and I even spied them holding hands under the table a few evenings ago. With that and the destruction of the locket we're dealing with the lack of leads much better than before. Between planning sessions it's become an unwritten rule for our two couples to alternate privacy in the tent. It gives us a chance to be intimate, physically or otherwise. Today it is my and Harry's turn to be on watch in the cold. I'm starting to tolerate British winters, though I wish I wasn't. Still, it is a chance to cuddle Harry while we talk. He's still speaking of the Hallows, he thinks this is Albus' plan, that he should collect them. He thinks our enemy is after the Elder Wand. I think it better we let him waste his time than us waste ours, but we still have no leads.
He's a bit obsessed, but I will distract him from it tomorrow when it is our turn to have the tent.
I dream of those stolen moments when it's just the two of us alone in the warmth.
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We were too complacent.
Harry said the name and we were caught. Hermione thought quickly and hid his identity, and thankfully since no one expected me to be with them it was easier for them to believe we are not who they're looking for. I claimed that I said it by accident as I am foreign and his name is French so it came out in an expression. They did not believe me, but there is enough doubt they did not press. I thought we would get past it, but then they found the sword. We were taken to the base of the Death Eaters, Malfoy Manor. They also had Dean Thomas and Griphook of all people. I am not sure why they had a Gringotts goblin, perhaps he will tell us when he wakes.
Bellatrix Lestrange terrifies me. She was in a rage about the sword, but thankfully Draco made enough doubt of Harry that the Dark Lord was not immediately called. They took Hermione to interrogate, Ron fought valiantly but wasn't able to do much. Hermione is currently thanking him in the tent, I am sure. The rest of us were locked in the basement. We found Luna and Monsieur Ollivander. They came for Griphook, and Harry frantically whispered for him to lie about the sword. Thankfully he trusted us enough to do so. Harry pleaded for help into a shard of the mirror he carries, I am thankful he kept it for help did come. Harry's house elf friend, Dobby, came to help us. He started taking the hostages to Bill's safehouse per Ron's suggestion. We were almost caught by Pettigrew, but a moment of mercy led to his death. It is ironic that he died for sparing the son of those he killed.
We still needed to rescue Hermione, so we stormed out of the basement unlocked by Pettigrew. There was a struggle, but we managed to escape with our lives, the sword, and the wands of Draco and Bellatrix. Well, most of us escaped. I did not know Dobby for long, but I will never forget him. He took us to Bill with his last act, he is a hero. Harry is digging his grave now, using only his bare hands. I think I understand why, some things are important enough to take the time and effort. Monsieur Ollivander and Griphook were badly wounded, so we've been taking care of them the best we can.
Besides the rescue, some good did come out of our struggle. Bellatrix let slip there was something important in her vault. We've found another one.
I can tell that Bill wants to speak with me. This will not be pleasant.
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The time came when I could not put it off. Ollivander and Griphook were stable and comfortable, and Ron and Hermione were catching up with Luna and Dean.
We went to a side room for privacy, and the first thing he did was kiss me. I felt dirty, I still do. It is not that I am disgusted by Bill, I still find him attractive, even. But I do not love him, I have been with another man for months now and he does not know this. Well, did not, I think. He could tell quickly I did not enjoy the kiss as much as he did and quickly quit. He was hurt and it stung me deeply. I forced myself to answer his question before he could ask it, at least to answer in the way I had to. I told him we had been apart too long, and with everything that happened we were closer to strangers than lovers. I did not feel comfortable being with him like that at the moment. He asked me if there was another. There were two options given I arrived with Harry and Dean, but we both knew who he meant. The lie came so easily. I couldn't risk us being turned away. I said there wasn't, but we needed to start over as friends. I purposefully did not mention romance in our future. I think he knows I lied, but he needs the hope as much as we need the help. I will have to warn Harry, and we will need to be careful here.
At least we have a chance to recuperate.
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I spoke to Harry once he was done with the grave. He knows it's time to choose, Hallows or Horcruxes. It pained him, I could tell, but he chose Horcruxes. He made the right call, even if he has his doubts. Griphook is mulling over helping us, so we have to play nice with him for now. He's particularly vicious, even for a goblin.
Harry had another vision, they're coming so frequently now it's scaring me. The Dark Lord has the Elder Wand. Merde.
Thankfully I do not dream.
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Griphook has agreed to help us. . . in exchange for the sword. Harry agreed, but with a bit of exact words. I've told him to expect this to backfire, and Bill backed me up. Wizards and goblins relations are always under tension, and the goblins always expect treachery so they try to betray first. It's honestly not a bad policy when you think of what's happened before.
We're now planning with Griphook when we have the time. I'll be able to provide a little extra help inside as a former employee, but not as much as Griphook. He'll be coming with us, which will be both a boon and a curse.
Bill's planning on moving the others to his aunt Muriel's soon, that will make things easier as it's very cramped right now. I have to share a room with Luna and Hermione, though even with Luna soon to depart I won't be able to be with Harry again until we leave. We've not been able to kiss or even hug as Bill is always around. I am a touchy lover and this no touching is frustrating me.
Luna is odd, but I like her. She believes the weirdest things and has this odd way of knowing exactly a room's dynamics with none of the tact to navigate it. I'm not surprised she's figured out Bill and I are exes, that is easy to tell. How she knows I'm now with Harry and we're keeping it secret from him is beyond me. I can tell the trio love her though, even if she exhausts Hermione. I hope to know her better when this is all over.
Monsieur Ollivander has a mystique to him I think is a requirement in a wand maker. The one I went to in France had similar mannerisms, so it must be part of the job. His gaze disturbs me. It does not linger inappropriately, but I always get the feeling he's seeing something I don't want him to. He is very polite though, and a good conversationalist now that he's recovered some. He confirmed that wands have allegiance and spoke a bit about the various wands in history that may all be the same wand. I had fun telling Hermione I told her so. Still, once he is gone I hope I do not see him again until my children need wands.
In my dreams I walk up and hug Harry and everyone applauds.
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The move to Muriel's is complete. We'll be departing soon as well. We're as ready as can be.
Remus stopped by. He announced the birth of baby Teddy and shared a photo. He also thanked and apologized to Harry. I'm so happy for him and Nymphadora, Teddy is adorable.
I admit I can be a bit arrogant, but I still find it insulting that it makes me the "perfect Bellatrix candidate." I hate to admit though I've perfected scaring off interested men enough that I probably can do a reasonable impression, at least from the bit of her I saw at the manor. Harry will be under the cloak with Griphook, and Hermione and Ron will use transfiguration to disguise themselves as foreign wizards I'm escorting. We'll use our guide to get into the vault, and then hopefully get out before their alarms sound. Or at least be on our way back by then. The Lestrange vault is in one of the high security sections. . . looks like Harry and I will be facing dragons once more.
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We're on a dragon!
Getting into the bank was no issue, people were appropriately terrified of me and the guards were easy to confund. The problem is things were too smooth once we were inside the bank. We should have realized she'd report her wand stolen. Thankfully Harry was quick with the Imperious Curse, so we were able to get to the vault, though they activated the Thief's Downfall. The upside: I was my gorgeous self again. The downside: We had a tight time limit and had to recurse the goblin.
We managed to get into the vault, and that is when Griphook betrayed us. I really thought we would die under the multiplying and scorching metal, but we managed to get out and with the Cup too! That's when they brought out the dragons. It was terrifying, it was exhilarating, and it was oh so reckless but we managed to blast a hole into the roof and ride out on one. We're at its mercy for landing, but we're high on the excitement of the ride and the success.
The Dark Lord knows what we're doing now. He's checking his hiding places. But a little secret he doesn't know: He just showed the last one to Harry. We're going back to Hogwarts.
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We made it into Hogwarts.
We went to Hogsmeade and accidentally set off a caterwauling charm. We need to be more careful. Thankfully a bar owner covered for us. Surprisingly, the bar owner is Albus' brother. I didn't even know he had one. It came to light he has the twin to Harry's magic mirror shard and was the one who sent Dobby. He also told us of Albus’ past.
It took some convincing, but we were able to get him to help us into the castle. He's been helping the resistance there for months, it seems. I vaguely recognized Neville when he came to lead us through a secret passage, but I've never spoken to him. We found a sizable force that has been sequestered in a magic room in the castle that's keeping them safe. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are being caught up on current events now.
We still need to find a way to destroy the horcruxes, but soon we'll have two of the three remaining. From the look in her eye, I think Hermione has an idea. The Order is arriving now and Harry hopes one of the Ravenclaws can help him find the diadem. I do not like the way the Chang girl is looking at my Harry, but it looks like Luna has beat me to cutting her off. I do like that girl, I'm sure we'll be good friends.
There is no time to rest, but I long for simpler days.
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Harry is talking to the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw.
I'm keeping my distance, she does not seem to like me.
We were ambushed in the Ravenclaw common room by a Death Eater. We took her and then her brother out with the aid of Minerva, but Voldemort was alerted. There's precious little time left now, we're going to war. It's going to be decided tonight.
We rushed back to the Room of Requirement to alert everyone. The Order is here in force, along with many others. We told them what was coming, and the professors began activating Hogwarts' defences. Ron and Hermione were gone, enacting her plan. They got into the chamber with the basilisk and destroyed the cup. Now we have a way to destroy the diadem and the snake too.
We were eventually able to find out that one of the ghosts is the daughter of the founder Ravenclaw. She's our only hope to find what happened to the diadem, I trust that Harry can convince her to help us.
The fighting is already breaking out. It sounds bad.
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The diadem is gone.
It was hidden in the Room of Requirement, so we had to get Ginevera to leave. We found it, but we also found some of the junior Death Eaters along with Draco Malfoy. One of the junior Death Eaters set the room ablaze with fiendfyre. We almost died, but the diadem was destroyed. Harry insisted on saving Draco and the lacky, but we could only save Draco in the end. I hope Harry's mercy doesn't bite us later.
Snape is dead, killed by Voldemort. So many others have fallen too, I haven't been able to keep track but I recognize the body with red hair and I see Remus and Nymphadora too. I'm trying not to break, I can't afford to break.
We managed to find Snape right as he was being killed. He's given Harry some of his memories to view.
Voldemort has called a ceasefire, asking that Harry turn himself over or we go back to fighting. Of course we will not, but I am sure he'll try to sneak off. I'm keeping close to him. He's watching the memories now in the headmaster's pensieve.
The war will start again at midnight, and it is more real than ever to me that I may die.
Maman, Papa, Gabrielle, I may never see you again. I love you.
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We won. I don't know how to feel. I thought I lost Harry, we did lose so many others, but we won. It's over.
After Harry came out of the pensieve the bâtard stunned me. He told me later it was as much to keep me safe as to let him leave. I won't be forgiving that for a while, even if he is a war hero.
When I came to he was gone. I carefully made my way down the castle to find things had not yet started back up. I found Ron and Hermione and told them Harry was gone. Their pain matched my own, we know what he did.
Voldemort and his forces marched upon the castle, and there was my beloved Harry carried in the arms of his first friend. I couldn't speak, but Minerva cried out in sorrow where I could not.
He tried to get us to surrender, but we would not. Somehow his magic wasn't working right against us, and we revolted. Neville managed to kill the snake, the last horcrux. It was very impressive, especially with what I've heard about him.
Molly killed Bellatrix, it was amazing. I've found new respect for the woman. Voldemort sought to kill her in revenge, but then the most amazing thing happened.
Harry, my Harry, is alive.
He fought Voldemort as we continued fighting the Death Eaters, but soon both sides were entranced by the duel between Harry and Voldemort.
Harry revealed that the Elder Wand was actually his, and they clashed with one final spell. Voldemort fell and Harry stood triumphant.
It's over. The war is over. There's cleanup to do, but we're free. Harry is free.
I feel more exhausted than I ever have before, but I don't think I can sleep. I just want to hold Harry to me and never let go again, but he's the hero and I have to share him for the moment.
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The war's been over for a few days. We're still getting a count of all those missing and dead, it's not a pretty number so far and it will only get worse. Harry's listless, trying to find ways to fix things to keep him distracted from his guilt for those that died. None of them are his fault, but he's never been one to see things that way.
He's set to join the Aurors soon, special appointment from the new Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt. He wants to catch the Death Eaters that fled. I want him to rest. He's fought enough.
I dream of my wedding again, Harry beaming at me as I walk down the aisle. It feels realer than it has in ages.
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We're open about our relationship now.
Bill did not take it well from what I've heard, but he's had the good grace to vent about it only in private.
I'm living with Harry in Grimmauld. We officially have separate rooms but I sleep in his most nights.
Harry works long hours learning the ropes and helping the auror force both rebuild and track down the remnants of the old regime. He's busy, but he makes sure to speak with me every day. Things will slow down in time.
Our first real date is coming up, I can't wait.
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We've been dating for 7 months now. It's weird to think of it like that, but we can't really call anything that happened while on the run a date.
We're discussing marriage, but I want us to wait a bit longer, maybe we can start the engagement sometime next year. I've learned my lesson about rushing things, and we have all the time in the world now.
I made good on my plan to get to know Luna Lovegood better. What I wouldn't have done to have a friend like her at Beauxbatons. The things she thinks I can do because of my grandmother are so absurd I can't help but love her for it.
I dream of my dates with Harry, waking up with a smile on my face.
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We're in France for him to meet my family. Gabrielle is jealous of me, it's adorable.
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We announced our engagement recently. Fleur Potter has a nice ring to it.
To my surprise Molly is excited about the wedding. She's helping me plan things and offered to lend me a goblin made tiara that's been in their family for generations. "You're marrying my Harry, that makes you family," she said. I think back to how we were two years ago. It's amazing how much things change.
I can tell Ginevra is upset about us, but I don't care. She is the only Weasley I don't get along with now. She must be moving on to some degree though, because she hasn't called me Phlegm for a few weeks.
I dream frequently of our wedding: the smiling faces of friends and family, the gentle music playing, and I walk down the aisle in my simple but elegant gown towards a man with dark and messy hair and brilliant green eyes.
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Harry left the auror squad today. He’s taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. I’m so happy he agreed to do it. The auror work terrifies me and he’s lived in enough danger, I think.
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Today is our wedding.
Gabrielle is our flower girl and Hermione is my maid of honor. Ron is Harry's best man, of course.
We leave spaces empty at the tables, a tribute to those we've lost. We're past the point of easy tears, but I have a feeling some are already spilling.
Bill is with the other Weasleys. He's gotten past what could have been, though I don't think we'll ever be particularly close now. He's back to being out of the country most of the time again. It suits him well, I think.
This is my last note as Fleur Delacour:
I no longer need to dream of my wedding, it's time for me to live it.