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It’s been a very tense filled evening, a potluck party at Granny’s is good for everyone. Because as of today, three weeks now since Belle banished Rumple from Storybrooke, it’s been three weeks without having to fight or kill someone.
Everything has been relatively calm so there’s absolutely reason to celebrate, especially before it all inevitably goes to hell once the new big bad shows up in town.
And Emma’s still bracing for that but right now, she has something else entirely different on her mind as she walks hand in hand with Killian to Granny’s diner.
The whole almost losing him three weeks ago is still very raw in her memory and as much as she understands that he did not have control over what he did with the Dark One towards the end, that’s not so much what’s bothering as to why Hook made a deal with the Dark One to begin with.
Emma smiles at him and pulls him towards the benches outside Granny’s. Killian doesn’t argue, sitting down with her for a moment.
“I think we need to talk,” Emma starts and Killian tenses at her words. “It’s nothing bad, I promise but there is something that’s been bothering me for awhile, the past three weeks actually and I need to understand why you did it,”
Killian looks at her oddly. “I don’t quite follow Swan,” he says.
Emma sighs, looks down at his hook and she gently touches it. “I need to understand why you made a deal with your arch nemesis, of all people, to get your hand back,” she says, “I understand it was for our first date but I didn’t ask you to do that Killian,”
He smiles at her. “I know you didn’t ask me,” he says, “but I needed it,”
“But why?” Emma pleads, “I’m not angry with you Killian. I just need to understand why you took that risk,”
“I needed it -- I needed it in case you wanted to hold my hand, I could do that,” he reasons.
Emma looks at him thoughtfully. That’s a nice thought but she knows him and she knows that there’s more to it than that. All those years of self-loathing and hatred in his heart for not only losing the first love of his life, but also hatred towards the man who took his hand….
“Killian,” Emma starts, “I need you to be honest with me, really honest. Why did you make that deal?”
He sighs and scratches the back of his neck nervously. Then, Emma takes his hand and laces her fingers through it and she smiles at him. She wants him to try harder and dig deeper, for him to reach inside himself and talk to her. He knows why he asked for his hand back and it wasn’t just so he could hold Emma.
“Perhaps I really wanted to hold you with both of my hands,” he says.
“You’re so stubborn,” Emma sighs, “You can’t even admit the real reason why you did it,”
He shrugs. “What does it matter now Swan?” he counters.
“Because it matters to me,” she says seriously, “Killian, I almost lost you. I could have seriously lost for you real before we even had a chance to explore more of our relationship. I want to be with you, I want what we have to work. I want us to be together but I also need you to be honest with me. Honesty is the only way what we have is going to work,”
He sighs. “I’m a pirate Swan,”
She smiles and glances at his lips. “Yes, this I know. It’s not exactly a secret Killian,” she teases him.
“And once, I was a man with vengeance in my heart. It was all I could think about for years. My vengeance was the only thing that I lived for, especially when everything else, everyone else I loved I lost,” Killian reasons and he looks at his hook, “And that’s what this hook means for me. It represents everything I’d lost. Not just Milah, but myself too. I lost sight of the good man I used to be and I wanted to be a man of honor again, for you Swan, because you deserve that. I want to become someone you can be proud of,"
Emma looks at him smiles, leans in and kisses him. Killian braces his good hand around her head, cradling it and he kisses her back. Emma pulls back, looks at him and smiles again. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” she teases.
“No, it wasn’t,” he admits, “but admitting that, it doesn’t erase the guilt for lying to you about what I was doing,”
“Hey,” she says, pulling on his collar, “As far as I’m concerned, what you did, it wasn’t selfish or in pursuit of revenge, it was for me. Just like everything else you do, it’s all for me,”
“I could have chosen differently though,”
“That’s true. But I also know your heart Killian. I saw it, I held it in my hands and I know you and despite what you might think of yourself, you are a good man,” Emma continues.
“I trapped the fairies in the hat,”
“That wasn’t you. That was Rumplestiltskin,” she defends, “You heard what the Blue Fairy said after you released her. She saw your remorse, something I don’t think Rumple knows a damn thing about. And you wouldn’t feel that remorse if you weren’t a good person,”
Killian shrugs. “And you still love me even though I screwed up?” he asks.
Emma kisses him again and smiles. “What do you think?” she counters.
Killian gulps, stares longingly at her and Emma starts to kiss him again but stops him a moment.
“But seriously, if you ever do anything stupid like that again…” she warns.
“I won’t make that mistake again Swan, I promise,” he swears and kisses her, “I told you before, if there’s one thing I’m good at it, it’s surviving,”
“I know,” she says, touching her forehead to his, “but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about you. I love you. I want this to last,”
Killian smiles. “Then you need not worry about me love. Like I said, I’m a survivor,” he says. “But for you, I’ll try to be more careful when it comes to my mortality,”
“One more thing Killian,” Emma adds, “You love me for me, for everything that I am but you have to know, I feel the same way about you too. You mean everything to me. It isn’t just the way you love me but the fact that I finally get this second chance at a happy ending and none it would be possible if I didn’t have you...I’ve never had what you’ve given me and I don’t want to lose that, Killian,”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying Swan?” he teases her.
“Maybe I am,” she admits, “But when I do say those words, I don’t want it to be because of an impending crisis or something. I want those words to mean something true, but I do,”
Killian leans in and Emma think that he’s going to kiss her but instead, he breathes heavily against her ear. “Then you should know Emma, all my love for you is unconditional as well and I understand. I want those words to mean something too,” he says.
Emma starts playing with his hook and smiles teasingly. “Besides, I think the hook is quite sexy,” she whispers.
He arches an eyebrow and grins. “You do?” he asks.
Emma kisses him hard and sweeps her lips across his face to his ear. “If and when we do get there, I can think of more than one use for that hook,” she teases.
Killian pulls her rough against him, Emma giggles as he kisses her passionately.
They’re so into each other that they barely notice how a very small audience gathered around them and Killian and Emma look up. Henry’s there with her parents and her baby brother. Charming does not look amused, more uncomfortable actually and Snow smiles at Emma.
“Hey kid,” Emma says, referring to Henry, “How are you?”
“Fine mom,” Henry smiles, looks at Killian and then to her, “You look happy,”
Emma glances at Killian and she smiles. “I am,” she declares, “I am happy because I have everyone -- that means something to me in my life right here,”
Henry smiles at her. “That’s good,” he pipes, “because I want you to be happy too. But you know what would make me really happy? Food. I’m starving,”
Emma laughs.
Snow and Charming escort Henry inside. Then, Emma turns to Killian and he stands, walking over to her.
“So are you really Swan?” he asks, “Are you truly happy?”
Emma kisses his cheek. “I am,” she breaths, “You make me happy Killian and that’s one more reason for you to keep on surviving,”
“For you love, I will, no matter what,” he promises her, “I’m in this for the long haul,”
She finds his hand, they walk into Granny’s diner together and sit in a corner table. Ruby comes over with a bottle of wine and Charming gives Killian a beer. Emma leans in close to Killian and she holds his hand tight under the table, watching everyone in the diner talk and celebrate with each other. She turns to Killian and he smiles at her.
Emma smiles back at him, realizing, she’s in this for the long haul too. She is scared to tell him how she feels about him too but Emma knows, looking at Killian, she loves this man unconditionally. And one day, she will be ready to tell him how she feels.
The End