Work Text:
"You don't have to talk about it," Stiles says, lightly threading his fingers through Derek's hair.
"I - I want you to know."
Stiles nods. "I just don't want to push you."
"You have to understand. She - she ruined me."
"No, she didn't. You're not ruined," Stiles insists.
Derek glares up at him.
"Sorry, sorry, go ahead," he apologizes for interrupting.
"I was young - really young, but I was at the age where I thought I knew everything and could handle anything and I was a grown-up no matter what anyone said."
Stiles nods, unsure what else he's supposed to do or say. His fingers are still lightly massaging Derek's scalp as he talks.
"She knew what to say, how to act - I was desperate for attention after losing Paige. She gave me attention. Lots of it. She treated me like an adult. Now I see that she was just manipulating me, but I thought she liked me - that she wanted me."
Derek won't look at Stiles now. Stiles bites his lip, afraid of what's coming.
"She taught me - things. She - she wanted me to please her and she taught me how to do it. Quite thoroughly."
Stiles forces himself not to react. He'd known Kate had done things to Derek - taught things to Derek.
"I told her almost everything. She knew what I was and accepted me - or so she said. It was easy."
Stiles's hand moves down to settle at Derek's neck, trying to be reassuring.
"I made it so goddamn easy for her."
"She manipulated you. You were fifteen. This isn't your fault."
"I told her everything."
"This is not your fault, babe."
"She knew there were children in there. She knew not all of us were wolves."
Stiles wraps his arms around Derek as he starts to shake.
"Not your fault," he whispers insistently into his ear.
"She tried to kill everyone I loved."
Stiles is blinking back tears now.
"I let her."
Stiles shakes his head against Derek's shoulder. "No. You were a child. You didn't know."
"She took away my family."
"We're gonna give you a new one."
Derek takes a few deep breaths, his hand clinging to Stiles thigh, regaining his control.
"Did you know?" Derek finally asks.
"I suspected."
"Does everyone know?"
"No, no, no. They know she's the arsonist, but they don't know about the whole you and her thing."
"I hate her."
"Not alone there."
"I hate that I let her - "
Stiles pulls away from him, turning his chin to make sure he's looking into Stiles's eyes as he speaks.
"No. Derek, this is not your fault. You were fifteen. Fifteen." He pauses, realizing that Derek doesn't believe him. "Do you blame me for Scott getting bitten?"
"What? No."
"And why is that? I'm the one that dragged him out into the woods that night. I'm the one that - "
"There's no way you could've known. You were only - " Derek stops, a sad smile on his face. "Sixteen."
"I got my best friend turned into an animal and you don't blame me, but - "
"It's not the same, Stiles."
"No. No, it's not. Not at all. But none of your family would want you blaming yourself, Derek. None of them do blame you. If they could exact their revenge, it would be against Kate. Not you."
Derek doesn't reply.
"I swear, babe, no one would blame you."