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And there’s the impending doom. The time is ticking, the air is thick, suffocating both of them.
Jiyeong smiles, despite her imminent death. She made sure to memorize Sae-byeok’s features and sighs contently before she decides to break the eerie silence enveloping them. “Sae-byeok, will you do me a favor?
Sae-byeok just stares at her. It was a different kind of stare, far from the typical cold ones that she usually gives to Ji-yeong. The latter mentally took note of how her lips quiver, how her eyes constantly blinks, and how for the first time, Sae-byeok breaks down her own walls and let Ji-yeong see her fragility and vulnerability.
Ji-yeong smiles once again. The sight warms her heart. It was enough for her that in the brink of her death, someone cares for her. For a moment, she felt loved. That finally someone is scared to lose her.
Ironic, ironic, ironic.
Why does it feel like she’s the most alive when she’s minutes away from her death. How ironic life can be.
So she carefully wipes Sae-byeok’s tears and squeezes her hand.
“Don’t cry,” Ji-yeong tries to console her. “While I may die, please live for me. In that way, we can call it even. Can you promise me that?”
It’s no brainer actually. Ji-yeong knows that despite Sae-byeok’s strong facade, there’s this deep fear that once she breaks down the walls she had built for years, it will crumble down in a matter of seconds and it will be harder for her to pick herself up.
And Ji-yeong understands.
“Let’s play a game. For one last time?” she pleaded.
But Sae-byeok was adamant, she wouldn’t budge. She was tired, emotional, and scared. Scared of the thought that the first person who caught her heart the entirety of the game, is going to die. For Her. That thought was heart-wrenching enough.
“It’s just simple, I want you to take these.” Ji-yeong opened her right hand, offering the pouch containing her marbles “and once you took these from me...”
“Don’t look back.”
With that, she gives Sae-byeok a hug. Their first and last hug. It feels comforting, it feels warm, it feels like home. Sae-byeok tightens the hug as she wraps her arms around Ji-Yeong’s waist, never letting her go. But between the two of them, Ji-Yeong is the stronger one, so Ji-yeong pulls away, holding both Sae-byeok’s shoulder and spun her around.
“It’s time. No matter what I’ll tell you, Don’t ever look back.”
“It will be harder for me to go.” Jiyeong whispers.
She urges her to go, she gently pushes Sae-byeok to walk and every step feels like there are shackles on her feet.
The magnitude of her selflessness starts to creep in. Then she heard Jiyeong counting.
1....
2...
3...
“Kang Saebyeok!” Jiyeong called. The former fights the urge to turn around, she badly wants to see her face for the last time but she was reminded of Jiyeong’s words.
So she remained still, rooted on the ground.
“Thank you....for playing with me” Jiyeong’s voice cracks.
Then the next thing she heard was the gunshot and she knew it was over.
1...
2...
3...
Sae-byeok turns around and saw Ji-yeong’s lifeless body. The sight crushed her heart and suddenly everything feels constricted, everything doesn’t make sense.
In that moment, she wanted to die, too.