Work Text:
Renjun slowly woke up, looked around for his phone and tried to sleep again when he realised it was 2 am. It was just a couple of hours after he passed out while watching obscure youtube videos, his wet hair had already dried and his humidifier timer going off and on. Having found a new surge of energy, since going back to sleep again was difficult, he decided to get down from his top bunk and roam inside the living room instead.
It was a rare night in their dorm, for one he was alone. This was a period in which Renjun was able to sleep and be awake whenever he wanted to, the hectic schedule that was NCT 2020 and end of year promotions has halted and he had free time along with some other members, including his dorm mates who had opted to go their families or to Chenle’s place. Renjun chose to stay home alone, as mentioned before this was a rare occasion and he wanted to cherish every alone time he gets. It’s not like he didn’t love being around his close friends, because as much as he loves them, he needs some distance sometimes. It’s a common agreement between them that a healthy amount of boundaries is needed, especially when they spend hours on hours with each other, almost every single day. This is the perfect time for him to think and collect himself, without the loud noises of Jisung and Jeno playing games in the room next door or Jaemin playing music loudly to try to counteract that. This was pure quietness, at 3 am, at the weekend, the nothingness was most welcomed and appreciated.
Renjun went out and took a seat at the dinner table, sat down with his glass of water and scrolled down his phone to catch up with their chatroom. Saving pictures of Daegal that Jisung sent and reacting to his message that said “I’m sleeping over at Chenle’s, see you tomorrow”. He started to feel the fatigue creep up to his head in a form of a headache, he then rested his head on the table.
Renjun had been feeling so tired this evening (morning) and it is not like he never was tired out before, it’s just that now he can show himself being tired. When you’re in the public eye, it’s hard not to overthink your every step. So very afraid to say or do something wrong, it has now become an instinct to be conscious of the smallest action. However, by being this conscious, it has become hard for Renjun to feel at ease. His shoulders started to form weird muscles due to the weight of the stress, eye bags always heavy and appetite almost non-existent.
Feeling his empty stomach he walked to the living room area to try to find the food delivery catalogue Jaemin compiled, scanning the darkroom, he turned on the lights and noticed someone sleeping on their coach. “That’s weird”, he thought. Must be their manager passing out per usual, “but didn’t he also have a day off”. He poked the sides of the sleeping figure, “Hyung go to your room, your back will hurt again”. He said and the figure moved slowly, “Hyung? That sounds nice.” Renjun raised his eyebrows and sighed loudly when he realised who it was. “Haechan,” he said out loud, “what are you doing here?”
Blinking slowly, he fully gained back his consciousness and sat up. Still obviously drowsy, he laid his head against the sofa. “Hi, injunnie,” breaking his silence. Shaking his head in feigned disappointment, Renjun asked “didn’t you have a schedule today? Why are you here.” Knowing very well that his 127 unit had started their Japanese promotions. Haechan just shrugged, “if I said I missed you, would you believe me” he confessed. Renjun rolled his eyes and smacked his arm, “yeah alright” he replied ignoring the butterflies that flew past his stomach. “Heard you were alone and asked manager-hyung to drop me off here instead. Plus the only ones who’s gonna be at my floor are Doyoung and Taeyong-hyung and I’d rather die than third-wheel.” Haechan explained as he made a gesture for Renjun to sit next to him.
Renjun shook his head at his ridiculous friend and sat down cross-legged at the end of the couch, “what if I wanted to be alone.” In response, Haechan snorted, “you were already for a whole day, now I’m blessing you with my existence.” Renjun laughed a little and sighed, he asked how was their first performance for their new single and he animatedly listened to him talk about his day. The sudden liveness of his surrounding was comforting, he loved the couple hours of alone time but Haechan was gifted in distracting him when needed to. There’s a sense of comfort in their air, it lingered next to his fatigue and worries. He felt his stomach growled and got up again. “Where are you going?” Haechan whined and hold onto his hand. Renjun looked at their hands and then at him, “not sure, I’m hungry tho” Giving his best poker face and mentally battled the growing redness that his face was making. Haechan smiled, then let go of his hand and asked, “should I make you ramen with eggs?” Renjun thought of it for a moment, before nodding and accepting his offer. Haechan got up and told him to lay down as he got up to make it. Renjun turned his attention to the remote that has been nudged into the couch and turned on the tv. He sneaked a peek at his friend silently cooking before picking a random tv show to watch as white noise as he waits for his food.
Not concentrating on the drama, his attention completely shifted when he saw Haechan prepping the coffee table with 2 small bowls, 2 sets of chopsticks and a spoon, and a trivet for the pot of ramen. “There you go, let us dig in so my baby can sleep properly later” Renjun jokingly hit his arm, and picked up the chopsticks. Haechan had already put some ramen and a half-cooked egg on his bowl (just the way Renjun prefers) and thanked him before digging in. “This is so good,” Renjun said with a mouth full of food. Haechan laughed at him before picking up tissues to clean the food around his mouth. Renjun got shy and lowered his head to focus on the food instead.
“So what got you stressing so much?” Haechan asked, and suddenly he is reminded this is Donghyuck. His best friend and tonight, they’re just normal having a conversation.
“I’m not stressing over anything,” Renjun looked at him wide-eyed and then got consumed by all the overwhelming thoughts he had pushed back. “Maybe, I am stressed out but it’s over nothing? But it feels like there’s so much I need to do but nothing I can do about it. Like, I need to always improve on myself and practice more, even though there is nothing to practice.”
Renjun took a deep breath, and he noticed that Hyuck had been stroking his thighs in comfort. He gave him a comforting half-smile to signal he understood what he had said and got up to get him a glass of cold water.
“You are doing your best and I think that in itself, is amazing,” Donghyuck smiled at him and started patting and stroking his head. “Sometimes, doing nothing is a good thing. And that way, you are making space in your head for more things to come,” Donghyuck patted his head twice. Small comfort pats and strokes, it’s like he’s making sure his words and all his care is fully let into Renjun’s brain to process.
He suddenly feels shy and small in front of his friend, Renjun is so sure he is now red and hoping that the low lighting of the room can conceal that. Donghyuck’s hand is now on top of his, both of them had put away their dishes and is now on their phones. Renjun can’t even concentrate on the movie he’s watching right now due to his hand being hidden away by Donghyuck’s hand. “Are you hot?” Donghyuck asked from nowhere. “It’s just that you’re sweating,” he pointed out. Renjun took his hand and wiped it on his shirt, “I’m probably fatigued or getting cold,” he laughed it off and moved back. To which Hyuck moved closer and feel his forehead, “you seem normal”. Renjun removed his hand, “I’m fine. He always knew Haechan was touchy, he become immune to it but right now it’s different. More intimate, more emotions and so alone from the rest of the world.
“You should head to bed,” Donghyuck said sternly. “I think you just need sleep right now, come on,” getting up and hold out his hand to help Renjun get up. He feels him following him to his bedroom, and suddenly the tiles and the door handle is a lot more interesting to stare at. They enter his room, the night lamp still on and Renjun sat on Jisung’s bed. Too tired to move up to his bed, and it’s not like he’s going to be home any time soon. Haechan, he observes, is also sitting on the bed with him. “You can sleep on my bed if you want to stay in my bedroom,” he offered. Donghyuck shook his head to decline, instead, he crawls under the blanket and takes the spot nearest to the wall and opened his arm. “Come here,” he told Renjun. Short-circuiting, he becomes a stone in front of him. “Come on, I’m also sleepy,” he whined at him and who would deny being cuddled by Lee Haechan? No Renjun, at least not tonight.
His heart beating fast as he sleeps facing him, Donghyuck smiles at him and kisses his forehead. “Thank you for today,” Renjun told him. “No problem, I’m here for you whenever you need me to,” he whispered to him. They both start to close their eyes, the drowsiness heavy on their eyelids. Haechan giggled, “you look cute trying to stay awake”. Renjun suddenly feeling the urge to fight back, “says the one who can’t even stay a second away from me.” Donghyuck smiled at him, his hand palming his cheeks and looking at him as if Renjun is about to disappear any moment now. “Can I kiss you?” He finally asked after softly feeling his lips, to which Renjun said yes. And it was Renjun who moved first, closing in the few inches of space they had left. Which felt like the safety gap between friends or more, had been crossed. And Donghyuck is not giving that back, he pulled Renjun’s waist to move his body close to his. He put one leg over his and one hand drawing circles on his exposed skin on his sides. Renjun’s handheld onto his face, deepening the kiss and having paused less than seconds to continue exploring this new feeling. With every opened kiss and with every time he deepened the kiss further while smoothing over Donghyuck’s rough unshaven chin he felt himself elevate. He’s on cloud nine, with Donghyuck alongside. After feeling his lips go numb and neck cramping, they stopped. Renjun snuggled into the pillow and pulled him close, taking a deep breath in and enjoying the smell of his cologne. He looked up to meet Donghyuck’s soft gaze, “You’re pretty,” Renjun told him. Donghyuck smiled wide and kissed his forehead, then the nose, then his lips to finally say, “you’re prettier, now sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow okay?”