Chapter Text
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
"Bam, this is my sister Maria."
Khun wished on all of the stars in the sky that he had never said those words.
He fervently prayed that he could go back in time and erase the inkling thought of introducing the two.
With frustration, he punched himself for trying to be a good host to Bam, resulting in the pair being left alone together.
Because now, he was outside, skulking behind the only sister he liked and his best friend that he had been crushing on for years.
And it sure as hell looked like they were going on a date.
How did Khun find out about this date? Well, even though Khun was revered as a genius, he didn’t need to be one to figure it out.
It was yesterday, lunchtime at school and Khun had forced his nerves to be calm enough to casually ask Bam if he wanted to hang out the next day, Saturday. Even though the two best friends hung out all the time, butterflies still caused a riot in his stomach every time Khun asked Bam to spend time with him.
The only reason he managed to actually ask was because he was absolutely positive that Bam would say yes, as he usually knew about Bam’s plans before Bam even knew about them himself. So Khun couldn’t exactly be blamed when Bam replied that he was busy and Khun’s jaw and heart plummeted.
Now, the “being busy” part probably wouldn’t be enough to shock Khun that much, but the obvious cherry red colour creeping up Bam’s neck, along with his inability to look at Khun’s face definitely raised suspicions.
With his eyes narrowed, Khun had asked what Bam was up to. A reasonable question, really. But Bam seemed to struggle to answer as he stumbled over his words. Bam’s gaze landed everywhere except for Khun, his fingers twiddled together, and Khun pushed until Bam accidentally let slip he was meeting up with Maria.
Khun was lost for words.
His brain overcharged and zapped until it was just a mushy puddle in his head and leaked out of his ears.
He knew leaving the two alone the previous weekend had gone well. It was what he wanted after all. To introduce the guy he liked to his favourite sister, not that either of them knew the reason for the meeting. After being roped into making tea and coffee for the small village in his house, Maria and Bam had been alone for about 15-20 minutes.
When he came back, the pair were all smiles and laughter. It filled Khun’s chest with relief, leaving him as light as a feather that they got along so well.
He just didn’t realise that they got along a little too well.
That night, Khun went home and tried to act normal as he questioned Maria about it. His mind was too fizzed out earlier in the day to wrangle more information out of Bam.
At first, Khun had sensed a hint of annoyance from Maria, before she quickly veiled her emotions and smiled at her brother, explaining that they were going to spend some time together.
It was Khun’s worst nightmare.
Not only was he about to lose his crush of god knows how many years, it was going to be to his sister.
He spent a rather sleepless night tossing and turning in his sheets, his emotions tangled up like a ball of wool. On one hand, he liked Bam. He liked him a lot. He wanted his happiness, but Khun was too arrogant and just assumed that he could give Bam his happiness, because Bam never expressed an interest in anyone and Khun believed he could chase away anyone else that showed interest in Bam. Khun thought, and hoped, it would only be a matter of time.
On the other hand, the person Bam was interested in was Maria. Another person where he only wished for their happiness.
But where does that leave Khun?
Should he forfeit his own happiness for theirs?
The sheep he was counting were running in circles and making a fool out of him.
He finally managed to fall into a restless sleep when he decided to follow them. Not like a stalker. Just, you know, watch their every move and analyse their relationship and how depressed he should be.
So now, he was all covered up; long coat, mask, hat and sunglasses. It was a good thing that it was winter and a sunny day so he could kind of get away with it. There were still a few vague, suspicious stares thrown in his direction. Khun didn’t take any notice of them, his eyes were trained on the laughing and joking couple walking far ahead. He needed to keep an eye on them at the same time as maintaining a safe distance.
As they ventured into the city, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep tabs on them with crowds of people popping their inconvenient heads in the way. When Khun lost sight of the pair, his panic clumped in his chest.
Luckily, Khun glanced in the shop windows as he stalked and caught a glance of long, silver blue hair that would be easily identifiable anywhere. Khun darted into the shop, trying to be as inconspicuous as anything. He kept a well trained eye on his targets as he looked around and his heart sank to the bottom of the ocean.
They were in a clothes store. Bam and Maria were in the mens section. Maria was busy rustling through racks of clothes, then holding them up against Bam to see if they looked good whilst Bam stood obediently and held onto the different items Maria was handing over to him.
They’re close enough to go clothes shopping together?
The thought dumped a bucket of ice cold water over Khun’s head.
It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with it. Bam actually really needed the help. His fashion sense was a mess, but since Khun had met him his wardrobe had received a pleasant overhaul. That was the problem. This was something that he and Bam usually did together . Now his sister was taking over his role…
Well, it would make more sense for Bam’s girlfriend to help pick out clothes rather than his best friend…
As much as Khun reasoned with himself, it didn’t make him feel any better. Bam’s girlfriend… It left a sour taste in his mouth.
Maybe Khun could have sought some solace if the pair just window shopped before moving on, but the fact that Bam tried on an entire parade of outfits before finally settling on one really didn’t sit well with Khun. Especially as the black turtle neck and distressed grey skinny jeans looked really good on him. Though, it didn’t matter whether Khun was bothered by the situation or if he thought Bam looked good or not. It’s not like he and Bam were dating. He wasn’t out following a suspected cheating boyfriend. No, he was just a creepy pervert stalking his best friend whom he was gay for.
He shook his guilt from his system before following the happy couple to their next destination.
When Bam and Maria slowed outside a store front and turned to head in, Khun’s heart felt like it was being squeezed hard enough to pop. He recognised the place. It was a new store that recently opened up. A cat cafe that was rated for having really friendly cats and great food.
It was also the place Khun had told his sister about, raving that it would be a great date location and he would love to be taken there.
It stung like a slap in the face. Not only were his sister and crush on date, they were even attending the exact place he wanted to go to with said crush!
Khun watched from afar as the pair took a seat inside, near the shop front. He huddled up on a bench a couple of stores down and watched them through the window from a safe distance. The swirling vortex in his stomach expanded and warped the more he watched, especially when Maria leant over the table to wipe away something from Bam’s cheek. It was pure torture for Khun who would give anything to swap places with his sister at that very moment.
All Khun was able to do is watch and wallow in the deepest pits of jealousy.
In a way, it was admirable. The way Khun sat outside the cafe for an entire hour. He was very diligent with his spying game, even if it did more harm than good to himself.
After the hour was up, Bam and Maria emerged, giggling and grinning. They looked like they were having a great time. Khun's stomach churned.
Maybe he should stop following them…
It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed his mind. Ever since he had begun traipsing behind them, a voice in the back of his head screamed at him to turn back around, to forget what he had seen; to give up.
Yet, Khun couldn't. He followed them with a passion. He had come this far, he may as well stick behind them the entire way. And so, Khun hid in the shadows as he followed their path, biting his nails, wondering where they would go next.
That was how Khun found himself outside an ice skating rink.
He pursed his lips and shuffled down the side of the building. It was an outdoor rink, so there should be enough of a crowd outside, watching the skaters, for him to hide amongst them. The entire time he muddled himself into the throng of people, Khun felt like there was a hole in his heart.
Tar simmered in his stomach. It was sticky and hot and clung to all the bad feelings that bubbled away beneath the surface. They raged on and only expanded when Bam and Maria made their way onto the ice.
Maria was first. Obvious really, the Khun family were practically brought up on the ice, spending most of their childhoods learning to skate as it was their fathers favourite hobby next to wine and women.
Though the sticky black tar in Khun’s stomach rose like a tidal wave. Why an ice skating rink? It was a fact for Khun, that Maria hated ice skating. She only lasted so long in the lessons because she wanted to accompany her brother. Khun loved skating. It really broke his heart to see Maria trying so hard to impress Bam that she chose something that he loved and could have used.
Khun hated it, his attention fixated on his sister.
She tiptoed onto the ice with practiced ease, as if she wasn’t balancing on a dull blade and stepping onto a slippery surface for the first time in years.
Bam was in a far worse position. He had all the grace of a toddler taking their first steps. He stumbled and tripped, his arms flung out for balance.
Ah!
Khun felt his arms moving on their own. He wanted to reach out himself and catch Bam, though that would be impossible. Still, he moved instinctively, his feet stepping forward and arms outstretched. It was obvious that his fingers would catch nothing but air.
That was when Maria caught Bam.
A lump formed in Khun’s throat. He tried to swallow it down but the pain brought tears to his eyes.
Maria held Bam in her arms. She laughed and Bam chuckled back. He regained his balance but Maria held onto his hands, guiding him forward and never letting go.
It was hard to breathe. Every breath felt more difficult than the last. Khun’s hands landed on the railing in front of him and his knuckles were as white as snow. He felt faint.
They looked good together.
Perfect.
How stupid was Khun to think he stood a chance?
Looking at Bam and Maria together, they looked like an ideal couple.
They got along really well. They laughed all the time. They were comfortable with each other.
They were flawless.
Khun needed to sit down. He staggered backwards, his hand clutching at the throbbing in his throat. He needed to go. He needed to go .
Pushing through the crowds, Khun gulped everything down. He ran as fast as he could to get away. To get anywhere. Yet Maria and Bam followed him, embracing his mind and squeezing it so tight it hurt. His feet pounded against the slabs, his shades disguising the red in his eyes.
So this is what it feels like to be heartbroken…
He never once thought it was an emotion he would experience.
Khun finally understood those movies where the female leads would hide away in their beds eating tubs of ice cream. He couldn’t wait to get home.
***
“Are you okay?” Maria asked, bending over slightly to peer at Bam’s hunched over face as he tried not to fall flat on it.
“Yeah…” Bam replied absentmindedly. His brow creased and he stared off to the side of the rink. “I just… I thought I saw Khun.”
Maria laughed, it tinkled like jingle bells and her smile made the boys around her swoon. They cursed Bam, staring at his hands holding onto Maria’s with jealousy.
“You know, I’m a Khun too.” Maria raised her eyebrows and pulled Bam up. “You should call him Aguero.”
“Aguero…” Bam rolled the name off his tongue and glanced over at the empty space by the railings where he had seen that flash of blue. His cheeks turned red from more than just the cold.
Maybe he should give it a go…
***
Khun spent the rest of his weekend huddled up in his warmest blankets. The pile of empty ice cream cartons was more like a small mountain.
Maria had knocked on his door a couple of times but he really couldn’t bring up the courage to see her. He just called back that he wasn’t feeling very well and asked her to leave the ice cream delivery at the door.
He felt somewhat bad about it, but when he remembered the lovey dovey couple surrounded by hearts on the ice rink, he would wrap himself up like a burrito and stuff his face in a tear soaked pillow.
It at least helped him vent out some of his emotion. However, there were still trials and tribulations awaiting him.
He managed to avoid his sister by faking illness. It did warm his heart like a small campfire that Maria seemed worried about him, along with the concerned messages from Bam. Though, that in itself created another heartache because Khun wasn’t the one to tell Bam he was ill, which means Maria must have messaged him. Khun started to feel genuinely sick.
When Saturday turned into Sunday, the bad feelings he had numbed with ice cream returned in full force. He staved Maria away with his “sickness” and he turned his phone off to ignore Bam’s messages, but the more that time wore on, the closer it got to Monday. Monday he would have class. Class would mean seeing his classmates. Seeing his classmates meant facing Bam.
Just the thought of sitting next to Bam in class, greeting him and hanging around with him like normal… It was a situation too complex for Khun to comprehend. How did anyone ever manage to face their crush after being heartbroken?
He dwelled on it all day until his eyes were red and puffy. Night arrived and Khun attempted to sleep, but it evaded him just like the night before. Monday morning dawned, and Khun decided that concealer was his new best friend.
Trudging the well worn path to his school, Khun was reluctant. He left the house later than usual. He avoided Maria. But, ultimately, upon arriving at his classroom just as the bell rang out, Khun came face to face with his worst nightmare.
Bam’s eyes were focussed on the door, waiting for Khun to arrive. He hadn’t heard from him practically all weekend and he was worried about him. Seeing Khun’s unusually haggard appearance didn’t help appease him.
Unfortunately for one, but fortunately for the other, Khun scurried to his seat as the teacher quietened everyone to start the lesson. There was no opportunity for the two to speak, and Khun’s attention was fixed on the front of the classroom, so Bam couldn’t even sneakily ask him if he was okay.
It was pretty much the same all day.
As soon as class ended, Khun would escape from the room before Bam could even say hello. He wouldn’t reappear until the next class. Bam tried to follow him at times, but the thing with Khun is: if he doesn’t want you to find him, then you won’t find him. He was like houdini.
The day went on as planned by Khun. There was zero opportunity for him to end up speaking with Bam. Generally speaking, Khun had decided before attending school, if he can’t deal with reality, then he just won’t face it. And what better way to avoid it than to avoid Bam!
It was difficult. Agonising. Because Khun really wanted to speak to him. Even though his heart had been cracked like an egg shell, it didn’t mean the contents had been spilled. He still had feelings for Bam, and they wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon.
He just had to suck it up… and run away.
His plan worked for the most part. Khun made it through the majority of the week barely saying a word to Bam other than the odd “hello”. It crippled him when he was alone at home, curled up in a blanket fort trying to forget his pain, avoiding his sister. But he really couldn’t think of another solution.
However, his plan finally failed. It was Friday. Lunch time. And Khun should have known he wouldn’t be able to run forever.
Apparently Bam had been active this past week, investigating the locations Khun had been spotted. He finally managed to pinpoint Khun during lunch. Of course Khun had spotted Bam following him and tried to divert. He was about to rush into the bathroom when a hand caught his arm.
Bam huffed, slightly out of breath, and Khun averted his gaze to the wall where someone had stuck a random piece of gum.
“A- Khun, you, are you okay?” Bam panted, catching his breath. Khun glanced at him and fell in love all over again. How could he not with Bam looking so worried and out of sorts, a pink tint to his cheeks and concern in his eyes. “I, I’ve barely seen you all week.”
Khun looked away, the guilt eating at his conscience. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a bit ill.” He used his tired excuse, knowing that Bam was gullible and trusting enough to believe anything he said.
“Maria said you were ill on the weekend.” Bam pulled Khun over to the side, out of the way of the other students. “Are you sure you’re well enough to be in school?”
A scowl tainted Khun’s pretty face when he heard his sister's name. Was it just him, or did Bam’s voice sound a little softer when he said it? Though his frustration was quickly washed away with the tsunami of distress in Bam’s tone. It was for him. That worry was for him .
“I’m fine, Bam.” Khun reassured, a small smile instinctively curling his lips. “I’m much better now.”
The relief puffed out of Bam with a sigh. He finally grinned at Khun and Khun wondered how he could ever lie to Bam.
There was then an awkward silence where, after a week of pent up frustrations, neither really knew what to say to the other. It was a first for both of them.
Luckily, Bam had a purpose. He was especially annoyed with Khun’s supposed avoidance of him because he wanted to ask Khun something. It was something that had been playing on his mind for quite a while.
“A- Khun. This weekend.” Bam started, punctuation in random places as his face twisted and turned. “Are you, can we. Uh… Let’s.”
The loud chatter and screams from other students almost drowned Bam out and he fought with the words inside his brain to force them into something legible. Khun blinked at Bam. Seeing him flustered to this extent was a new experience and he was lost as to how to respond.
Bam finally had enough of his own incapability. He released Khun’s arm and rubbed his face before locking eyes with Khun. He was more serious than he’d ever been when he eventually found the right words to say.
“Khun. Tomorrow. Let’s hang out.”