Chapter Text
His turning 18 in a month.
Somehow that still hasn’t hit him, not when his here standing outside of the Hero Public Safety Commission building. The only place he hates more than his home. His mother’s late, not that its surprising really. He may have been in her life for 18 years but she definitely hasn’t been in his that long.
He needed to speak to her, get things off his chest before she can finally say she’s free from him. His been delaying it for weeks, somehow he still wants to prove something to her, anything to get her attention. The only thing that ever gets her attention is Chargebolt never Denki.
Chargebolt.
How he hates his hero name more and more, putting a sour taste in his mouth. His mother mentioned it to him before he started at UA and he took it in hopes that it would get her attention and somehow feel proud that she had a big part of his hero career. It didn’t end up that way, she shrugged him off as she does with everything involving him.
“Hey kiddo” he turns to the voice, Hawks.
Hawks knew about everything; he doesn’t bring it up but he knows his mother’s little secrets. Every time he speaks to him his filled with pity, like talking to a lost child.
But then again that’s how he feels.
“Hi” he isn’t his usual energetic self; he never really is before a meeting with the HPSC.
This is his life no matter how much he pretends it’s okay it actually sucks. Monthly evaluations to make sure he carried on his hero path, that there was not a single sign of his father in him. His mother encourages it, she’s just another decoy in this hero society.
“Your mom isn’t a bad person” Hawks says as if he can read his mind, of course he would say that he always looks for the best in people so it’s not surprising he does the same for his senpai.
Everyone’s always protecting her and she’s always protecting everyone besides him.
“She’s a hero of course she’s not a bad person” he pushes out a laugh. It’s the truth really, she isn’t a bad person. He lost count of the times she looked death in the eye to protect people, she was a great inspiring hero.
She isn’t a bad person, just a bad mom.
Hawks doesn’t say much after that; the only reason he was still hanging around was probably because he didn’t want to leave him alone with the HSPC. They were like snakes ready to sink their fangs into young wannabe heroes but the truth was they already had their fangs in him before he was even born.
“Denki.” His mother’s voice, how she greets him after not seeing him for a month. – “you need to stop day dreaming, as a hero you need to be constantly aware of your surroundings to ensure the safety of others”
“Sorry.” He holds in the sigh.
They walk in the building and into the elevator, up to level 3. The level with the test rooms.
“Your grades, the president isn’t happy” she says like an officer reporting to their subordinate.
The president, the head of the Hero Public Safety Commission, the man that brought his mother here when she was a kid. He got him into UA, what better way to ensure he becomes a hero than putting him into the best hero school in the country, even if he couldn’t keep up with everyone who deserved to be there.
“I’m trying my best.”
“Try to stop failing instead” she says.
He used to think if he had siblings would it be different; would he have someone who understands his suffering or would his mother actually become a mother. She killed any chance of that happening when she removed her uterus to guarantee she never makes the same mistake twice.
“You should go see your support department and make improvements on your costume, it’s in dire need of an upgrade”
He doesn’t have the chance to answer her when the elevator doors open and the doctor is smiling, waiting for them.
“Doctor hi, apologies for being late I had to deal with a hostage situation that took longer than expected” his mother greets, smiling warmly.
“No worries I’m glad that you are safe”-“Good afternoon Denki” she turns to him.
“Good afternoon Doctor” he tries to hide the crack in his voice, all he wants to do is go back home.
The dorms with his friends and his boyfriend waiting for him not the empty abyss he grew up in.
The tests go on for an hour, a bunch of rehearsed questions with his rehearsed answers and then the blood tests. At the end of it his feeling more emotionally drained than he usually is.
“Are you excited for your 18th birthday” the doctor asks when they finished.
His mother gives him a confused look; it wouldn’t be the first time she forgot his birthday.
“Do I still have to come to checkups afterwards?” the question slips out.
“No you’ll be graduated and be working here with the HSPC.” His mother answers him instead.
The room is silent, his trying so hard to keep it together.
Almost 18 and he still can’t stand up to his mother.
“And-” he starts. “And if I don’t want to be a hero than what” he looks at her.
Her emotions are clear as day across her face, she wasn’t expecting that and she keeps turning towards him and then the doctor who is shocked to say the least.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A HERO?” –“HAVE YOU LOST IT?” she towers over him and shouts.
“I NEVER WANTED TO BE ONE”
“YOU’RE JOKING” she starts pacing around the room. “my son-”
“IM NOT YOUR FUCKING SON, YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO ME BUT YOU WERE NEVER A MOTHER TO ME”- “YOU COULDN’T EVEN SEE I NEVER WANTED TO BE A HERO”
“You ungrateful piece of shit”
“You are the one that’s the hero stop forcing that down my throat”-“I’m not you”
“Clearly, you wanna sit around and do nothing when you could use your power to save so many lives”-you’re just like your father”
“What father? The same father this stupid place sent Lady Nagant to kill?”
He said the forbidden name.
Lady Nagant. He never met her but he knew the story, she joined the HSPC the same time as his mother and they had become inseparable until she was ordered to eliminate his mother’s mistake, his father with a belt full of crimes. They weren’t the same after that and just before he was born she took a turn and became a traitor.
“Okay I think we should all take a breather” the doctor finally chimes in, probably because she doesn’t even want to acknowledge that name.
“How did you know about that?” his mother asks softer like she’s trying to keep it together.
He doesn’t answer her, just sits back down.
“Denki, how did you know about that” she asks again, angrier this time.
“Keiko maybe we should just end this here” the doctor replies instead.
“Do you really think I wanted your father to die, I had no other choice. This place, this job is the reason I’m still alive I had to be loyal no matter what I felt. I lost everyone to have you, to keep you. I’m trying my best, I never had a mother I don’t know how to be one I was only ever shown how to be a hero” her voice cracks.
He never knew he didn’t actually have a grandmother, he always just thought his mother was too embarrassed of him to show the external family.
“I don’t have grandparents?” it’s shocking that he has to ask this after almost 18 years.
“No my parents died when I was a kid and your father never mentioned any family” –“it’s just me”
“You’re family to everyone here in the HSPC Denki, we all are one big family. Right Keiko?” the doctor looks to his mother for confirmation.
That was the first time his ever seen her hesitate with anything, especially regarding this hell hole full of heroes.
“..yes this is your home Denki, that’s why you need to be a hero.” She sounds like she rehearsed that but the doctor is pleased.
His exhausted, physically and mentally so he doesn’t bother carrying on this fight.
“I have to go see the president.” Its like switch, the vulnerability she just had gone like the wind. She gets up and leaves.
“You will be a great hero stun gun hero Chargebolt” the doctor smiles at him.
He makes his way out, he needs out of this stupid building and far away from everyone inside it. He can’t get himself to start his car though, parking and waiting like a fool. As if his mother ever came running out to say goodbye, or talk to him out of those evaulations.
His phone is buzzing, he was longer than he usually is and it probably started worrying Katsuki.
Fuck, he hasn’t even told him yet.
He picks up the phone, 3 missed calls and 4 messages. Katsuki picks up after the second ring.
“Where are you? Don’t tell me you got lost?”
“No I didn’t” he pushes out a laugh –“just went for some food Kacchan”
“I can feed you here dumbass, how’s your mom?”
“Oh the-” there's a tap on his car window.
“Oi Sparky finish your sentence” he hears from the phone but all he can focus on his mother standing arms folded, outside his car.
“I’ll call you back” he puts down before Katsuki can protest.
His mother opens the door and gets in the passenger seat.
“Friend of yours?” she breaks the silence, pointing towards the phone.
“My boyfriend.”
“..oh” she says despondent, -“didn’t know you had one”
“We’ve been dating for a year.”
“He wants to be a hero?”
“He goes to UA of course he does, everyone who willingly goes there wants to be one”
“I want to meet him, I’m in town for the rest of the month”-“bring him over” she gets up, ready to leave.
“And next month?” he asks, and she freezes. She knows what his asking. Is she going to be here for his birthday.
“America.” And with that she gets up and leaves.