Chapter Text
Benjamin Basset had given up a lot in his life. He had sacrificed his favorite book as coloring pages for his younger brother. He had surrendered his favorite horse to his sister when she was learning to ride. It had been disastrous. He had let go of the hope of ever being seen as smart by his family, willing to pretend to let his elder brother Albert take the lead in all lessons. Benjamin Basset never thought of himself as selfless. They were small things to give up, and it was just what you did for your family.
Benjamin Basset was the second son of a Duke. He had never expected much from life as if he got anything it would mean something horrible had happened to two of the most important people in his life. So he gave. He gave away his books, his horse, his image all for the sake of his siblings because that was what good brothers did.
But even good brothers had limits.
That lesson had shattered his world.
Last Christmas he’d been in his father's office, digging through some family papers, looking for a bottle. He knew his father kept a good thing of whiskey in one of the drawers, and Albert had sent him off on a mission. As per usual the eldest Basset Boy, the heir, was unwilling to sacrifice his image in the family. So when Albert wanted to give Daniel and Elliot their first taste of alcohol, it was down to Benjamin to steal the good stuff from their father’s secret stash.
He hadn’t found the bottle, but he had found the letters. A whole stack of them, and in his slightly inebriated state he forgot himself and flipped through them. To his horror, he found himself again on their pages. He was not Basset. He was the abandoned bastard of the Duke’s illegitimate half-sister. His mother had reached out to his father seeking funds to send him to a private orphanage and a fight ensued. Simon wanted the sister he’d never met to return to Clyvedon. She refused. They fought, till she gave birth to him, left him at an orphanage in Paris, and departed.
From there Simon must have retrieved him and by some miracle passed him off as his and Daphne’s son. His life was a lie, a farce. He had no right to stand in the only home he’d known.
From there everything spiraled. He stole the letters, confronted the man he’d long believed to be his father. They’d argued. Mama had cried. His behavior had grown more and more erratic. He amassed gambling debts and became well known among the widows of the ton. His parents had been willing to ignore it, till his actions began interfering with his sister Cadence’s courtship. Then it’d been suggested he travel.
He consented, not to save his family, but because he had only one destination in mind. Now crossing the channel he could hear his mother’s voice still echoing in his head.
“You are our son. Blood or no blood. Your father chose you. I chose you. We chose you.”
He envied how simple it was for her and tried to shake off the feeling that he’d made a mistake as he watched the water slip below the boat. Every wave pushed him further and further away from his family, everything he’d ever known. And as much as it hurt him to admit it, he had to leave them behind.
He had to find her, his birth mother. He had to look into her eyes, see where he came from, ask about his father, if he was ever to truly understand himself, and who he was. Because his sister was already wed. His brothers would someday follow suit, and how could he move on, how could he create a new family as Benjamin Bassett, when that name was a lie. He needed to know. Where did he come from? What was his mother like? Who was his father?
How could he be willing to sacrifice for his family, when the people who brought him into this world were not?