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It wasn’t unusual for Tyler and Josh to sleep in the same bed together. They liked the comfort of being close to one another and they usually both needed it. Josh liked curling himself around Tyler’s small frame and sharing the other’s warmth. He liked feeling Tyler’s long bony arms constrict around his middle, locking them together. He simply liked being close to him, almost more than anything else he could think of.
Josh shifted in the pile of blankets he and Tyler were nestled under and brushed his hand over Tyler’s cheek, gazing at him through sleep-hazy eyes. Tyler made a low whining noise and just tried to press closer to Josh, burying his head into the blankets that were tucked up to his chin.
Josh didn’t want to wake him up. He continued to run his finger over Tyler’s cheek absentmindedly and watch his face, contoured by shadows.
Tyler stirred, pressing his feet against Josh’s cold toes. He mumbled something incomprehensible, his breath warm against Josh’s bare chest.
“Shhhh.” Josh pressed his lips to Tyler’s forehead.
“Josh…” Tyler’s voice was laced heavily with sleep. He was still trying to push closer.
“Yeah, Tyler,” Josh whispered, wearily.
“Josh, I like sleeping with you.” Tyler’s eyes were still closed and his words were muffled by the blankets his face was buried in.
Josh’s heart pounded. He blinked down at Tyler. He could only make out his outline in the dim light. He didn’t say anything, mostly because Tyler didn’t give him a chance to.
“I really like sleeping here with you,” Tyler repeated, “This is safe. I feel safe.”
“I like sleeping with you too, Tyler,” Josh whispered, his voice strained.
Tyler turned his face up from underneath the blankets. He was inches from Josh’s face now and they were nearly exchanging air.
“Hi,” Tyler breathed.
Josh continued to stare down at him. He could just make out the corners of Tyler’s lips turned up in a sleepy smile. Josh felt his breath hitch in his throat, searching for words. All he could think about was how soft Tyler felt, holding on to him tightly, their faces inches apart. He felt as though his heart was going to explode.
In his silence, Josh heard Tyler continue, “Josh, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I have you.”
Josh felt weak with a sudden rush of emotion and he smiled feebly down at Tyler. He might be shaking and his head was spinning a little.
“God, Tyler, I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad I have you, too,” Josh said quietly. His voice seemed to be shaking too and he hoped Tyler didn’t notice.
Tyler let out a small breath and nuzzled his face into Josh’s chest, hugging Josh’s middle closer to him. Josh’s heart was beating extremely quickly and he was positive Tyler could feel it. He wrapped his arms around Tyler’s shoulders and cradled the smaller boy’s head against his chest, trying to breathe properly.
It was a couple of comfortably silent minutes before either of them spoke again.
“Josh, I love you.” Tyler’s voice suddenly was very, very small and fragile, “Please never leave me, I love you so much.”
Josh could feel his throat threatening to close up and his eyes suddenly welled up with tears. His ears were ringing. Tyler Joseph, his best friend, the most important person in the world, was in his arms, telling Josh that he loved him. They had both said the words before. They always meant something, but now it was much different and the softness of the moment was enough to send Josh’s brain reeling. He’d never felt the crushing, suffocating feeling this strongly before.
“I love you, Tyler. I love you too. I—” Josh choked, barely getting the words out. He didn’t know when, but he began to sob.
“Josh, are you crying?” Tyler’s voice was shaky. He brought his hand to Josh’s face and stroked his cheek, wiping a stray tear from his skin.
Josh opened his eyes, his vision blurry. He could see Tyler’s wide, warm eyes staring back at him, and he was filled to the brim with affection. He let out an unsteady laugh.“You idiot,” he muttered. “I love you—I love you so much, I—”
“Shut up. Shut up, Joshua Dun. Just—” Tyler dropped his head, pressing his face into Josh’s shoulder.
Josh was still sniffling, holding on to Tyler tightly, trying to regain his composure. He began to press soft kisses into Tyler’s hair before sliding his hand under Tyler’s chin and gently tilting his head up so they were both looking at each other.
“I will never, ever leave you alone, Tyler. Ever,” he whispered, stroking Tyler’s hair with one trembling hand.
Tyler began to nod, leaning into Josh’s touch. “Okay. Okay,” he breathed, pushing his face against Josh again. He repeated the word over again several more times.
It wasn’t long before Tyler drifted back to sleep, snoring inaudibly.
Josh’s heart just lurched and he breathed shallowly, holding Tyler, wondering how the hell he got so lucky.