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the night they opened beauty and the beast went so much better than the cast could have asked for. well- outside of the little snafu with ricky's harness going missing and them having to do the transformation differently... but that was an issue for another time.
but even better, tonight was the night gina got to go on her first ever real actual date. sure, maybe ej caswell wasn't the person she ever anticipated going on her first date with, especially not when they met, but he was a really sweet guy, and she felt excited to be doing it. getting a whole other "first" out of the way.
she wants to. really.
she'd actually even considered kissing jack at the airport before she left for the night, but it just- it wasn't quite right, they'd known each other the span of a day. he had given her his number on that paper airplane though, one of these days she'll probably reach out. it'd be nice to have an airport buddy. maybe that was just her once in a lifetime thing, her just for a moment.
and if she goes deeper into her thoughts, maybe, just maybe, there was something in her that didn't want ej to be her first kiss either. but that couldn't be the problem. she probably just wasn't ready for it. this was just one date, she didn't need to kiss him anyhow. that's not how it always goes. it's just how it goes in the movies.
except gina's always secretly liked those movies. having the perfect first date with the perfect guy followed up by the perfect first kiss when she's dropped at her doorstep, with her foot popping when they kissed. mia thermopolis had it right, it wasn't the perfect kiss if your foot didn't pop.
or well... that's what she expected anyway. gina's never been kissed.
she's never been good with firsts either.
what she doesn't know is that by the end of tonight she will be kissed, just not necessarily by the person she expected.
and maybe this first will be a sort of second chance. maybe that too will make all the difference.
--
it was her second opening night of her junior year and nini was thrilled to have watched her castmates put on such a good show, and honestly, the girl was genuinely kind of glad her song got taken out, as offended as she had been at the time. it wasn't who she is now, it was where she thought she was all those weeks ago. it meant the world for a moment, but now meant nothing more than a memory, along with the start of something brand new that she never saw coming.
she always thought ricky was her start of something new moment, the person who would make her feel over the moon as she fell head over heels for the rest of her life straight into his arms. ever since they were those dumb kids who kissed in the tree house, she knew they were meant to be.
as it turns out your first love is likely not going to be your only love. sure, she thinks maybe one day they could come back to each other, but for now, that possibility is the last thing on her mind. she's finding a new beginning.
whatever that may look like. going back to what was solely a friendship with ricky was likely just the beginning of the changes ahead.
besides the the struggle to write ricky's card, the night had gone off mostly without a flaw for nini. she'd checked in on their beast right after the show to see how he was feeling about miss jenn's rather dangerous comment, and he'd told her they could talk about it later, but later would likely have to be another day, as they were both rushed off to get out of costumes and makeup.
the aftermath of their rather nice card exchange had led her past the makeup room, where she finds gina of all people.
"hey, gina. you coming to slices?"
and she's in tears... nini's pretty good at comforting people when she tries, and well- she can't leave her favorite feather duster alone like this.
"i think i'm gonna head home early actually." but the words are punctuated with sniffles, the dancer clearly so upset.
she walks into the makeup room and sits down beside the younger girl, her brown eyes wide in concern as she watches the tears run down gina's face.
"hey, what's going on?" nini asks her finally, her voice all softness and warmth, something gina's been taking for granted apparently from one ej caswell. now that it's gone, gina just doesn't know what she's supposed to do.
"um... i just had this big um, plan to go out with ej tonight and he just cancelled..." gina cannot stop the tears from trailing down her cheeks. so much for looking pretty tonight for the date. not that that's happening anymore.
nini seems caught off guard by this, but if she is, she tries not to react accordingly, a little "oh" coming off her lips. "you can go tomorrow" she attempts, trying to help as best she could as she sits beside her sort of friend.
"he cancelled, nini." the way she says her name hurts in some way the former flower doesn't understand. maybe it's just the pain in gina's voice that hurts her. but she's just not sure.
"for good." when those words flow off gina's tongue, the two girls find themselves staring at each other properly, gina actually turning her head to look at nini for the first time.
even though the sentiment is filled with pain, maybe one day she'd look back and think it really was for good. and not in the way it's meant, in terms of endings, but for a positive outcome instead.
nini's lips curl into some sympathetic expression before her tongue swipes over them as she thinks of what to say. it takes her a moment before she can say anything.
"gina, i don't know what's going on between you and ej but you are a force of nature"
"nini-" she cuts her off, or tries to, but it's like the girl with her soft almond eyes doesn't hear her, because she just keeps going
"you have this energy about you that's so-" nini cannot stop gushing, and if gina were in a better headspace, maybe she'd appreciate it, but right now she just thinks the worst.
"off-putting?" gina's in tears, and nini's actually a bit shocked to hear this reaction to her words.
"powerful." she corrects her, and gina's not sure just how to respond to that, luckily she doesn't have to yet as nini keeps talking a few moments later. "and i'd say any guy would be lucky to have you but that's not the point." another long pause that gives gina a chance to reflect on what the girl is saying to her with such genuine care. "the truth is that we're all lucky to know you."
gina's lips finally curl up in a small smile, and she realizes the tears have ceased flowing despite the remaining redness of her eyes. "you're still doing it." she notes, clearly confusing the older girl.
"doing what?"
"lifting other people up. you did it all night... even when miss jenn was going off on everyone. you were our lighthouse in the night."
there's a calm silence between them as nini tries to just take in the compliment and move on to focusing on gina again, but she's not sure what to think about it. about any of it.
"look i'm sorry about the whole valentines day chocolates thing..." that was the last thing nini was expecting to hear, and she brushes it off far easier than anyone would expect considering how passive-aggressive she was being about it just a short while before.
"oh, no that's... honestly it was more about me and you than it was about me and him."
and that there, that's probably one of the more confusing things nini's said to her tonight.
"who and who?" she asks, looking at her strangely as she laughs a bit, causing nini to do the same.
"i was just hoping we were finally in a place where you could like one hundred percent trust me."
'alex can i get things that don't make sense for 500 please?' gina thinks to herself. but it didn't have to make sense. the girls may have never been properly close as friends, just more having a relationship of closeness on different occasions, but maybe that's why this worked so well. because it wasn't based on some normal friendship, not like what she had built with ej.
"i did... i do." because as gina realizes that she actually does. she does trust nini. somehow some way. even if they didn't talk a lot usually, she always knew she could trust her deep down. even when things were weird because gina had some sort of thing going on with nini's ex boyfriend. gosh the irony. gina was talking to nini about her other ex.
she has a brief realization, as she continues answering the older girl. "i mean that's something that i learned early on." there's a wry smile appearing on gina's lips as she says the next part. "when you stole all my stuff- but gave it back."
"you know fun fact, kourtney stole most of it. i took like- three things. she um- she goes a little overboard sometimes trying to support me."
nini starts laughing, and gina can't help but do the same. the two girls smiling at each other with some kind of warmth she can't help but feel held by. that warmth is likely what makes her reach out and take nini's hand in hers on top of the vanity.
"you're a really solid person nini... you deserve solid people in your life."
the tension between them could be cut with a knife as nini breathes softly. her eyes meet gina's before she starts leaning towards her, eyes flickering shut as her face comes close to the girl who she never thought she'd be this close with.
she almost thinks she's going to do it...
but then nini snaps out of it, her head swiveling to the side reminiscent of that night at her house when ricky had tried to kiss her all that time ago, and she's looking away, eyes gazing down at their hands as she whets her lips with her tongue, trying so intently to distract herself from- whatever was going on here that she shouldn't be even thinking about. she's not considering it.
"well- if you change your mind about going to slices..."
nini gets up now, tugging at her backpack that's been sitting over her shoulder this whole time. she's only halfway in. maybe that's reminiscent of more than just her presence in the physical spot next to gina.
but nini's smile as she starts to walk out of the room has gina entranced, and admittedly a bit confused by what has just happened to her.
gina just has to say something though... she can't let her go just yet. even if she had imagined seeing nini almost try to kiss her, she still can't shake the feelings that went along with the moment when her own eyes had shut and she started to chase her lips with her own. there was something there... she couldn't just ignore it and let nini walk out that door.
"our show was better, by the way... because you were here tonight. you made it possible for everyone."
"i don't know about that..." she says with a laugh, rolling her eyes slightly.
"have you ever thought about your place here? with us... with um- with the theatre?"
"what are you asking me?" gina has a few options here, and she almost takes it... she almost wants to go there... but she's not there yet. she had to have imagined the look nini had given her, the way she'd all but leaned in...
"there's um... there's just something about you tonight nini." and she says what she meant to say and not what she felt, gina not taking the line that nini's throwing her.
"you know it's like you almost did miss jenn's job for her. you should consider doing something with that."
the smile that turns up on nini's lips as she looks at gina, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly, has gina starstruck.
"you're a leader nini. like i said... you lift people up. i can't help but admire you- for that i mean."
"thanks..." she replies, brushing a strand of hair away that had fallen into her face as she properly walks away this time, nini probably just as confused as gina finds herself as she sits there, contemplating going to slices to see everyone.
she knows there'll be someone there she truly wants to see. and someone she's still not quite sure about.
--
at the pizza place, gina can't help but repeatedly turn her eyes in the direction of nini, the two girls sitting together despite gina's confusion over what had happened just a short while earlier in the makeup room. she tries to not be confused when lily and antoine walk in, but she's a bit on edge around that blonde girl, especially after lily's comment about ashlyn just not cutting it as belle.
despite their compliments to the show, gina's glad when they head out, even as ricky seems a bit too intent on lily's blue eyed gaze as he turns her down. gina's not sure why she finds herself paying so much attention to them, but when she looks at nini again, unsure how the girl would feel about that particular interaction, she finds the rosy cheeked brunette entranced in conversation with kourtney over some issue with howie the couple had newly resolved that same night. the boy sat there dutifully, filling in with defenses of himself and his actions, perhaps only halfway joking.
gina winds up staring across the room at ej caswell as miss jenn walks in with mr. mazarra, but how could she not when the group had been nominated for several categories, including best musical. especially significant though was the senior excellence award, which of course, if won, could mean an nyu scholarship for their favorite, and only, senior.
she knows better than most of the others in the room that ej's been unsure about college after the rejection from duke, he'd not applied to many places, assuming duke was a sure thing, so frankly this scholarship could mean everything for his future. even if he'd sort of broken her heart earlier tonight, she still wanted good things for him.
why did he have to cancel their stupid date? and why was she so shocked that he did? gina porter remembered all too well their conversation earlier that same school year when he told her that seniors don't follow sophomores. and yet he'd made her think he liked her. really and truly liked her. even if he hadn't said it in those exact words. it was nice to be cared for...
and there was another person, sitting just beside her, that made her feel cared for on this night.
--
she watches ej start to leave, and she goes after him, standing in the . "hey... congratulations on the nomination. i'm happy for you."
"thanks... i'm um... i'm sorry about risotto." he remarks. "i just- i didn't want you to feel weird about it since you um. i know you don't feel the same way about me. jamie told me. i'm happy just being your friend gina. i just- i didn't want to ruin that by making you feel weird by bringing you on what i thought was a date."
gina looks at him curiously. "jamie- you talked to jamie? and he said i didn't like you like that?"
"yeah... i'm sorry gina. i really thought that we were on the same page-"
"we were." she replies, cutting him off. "i did like you ej, i was really excited to go on our risotto date. but then you cancelled. and i um- it really hurt. i'm okay... and i'm glad we're on the same page about it now but... maybe we find our way back to this another time? i just- i don't know if i'm ready to potentially put myself through the heartache again." gina expresses, her voice a bit unsure even as she tries to be so certain about her decision.
she really thought she'd be over the moon hearing he does like her. and part of her was quite pleased about it. but another part of her knows she's not ready. not ready for him right now. she was still young, she had time to explore what she wanted. and right now- she wanted to look beyond whatever was in her heart for the senior and find her own path. if she wanted him later, she'd pursue it... just- not tonight.
"okay." he replies with a nod. at least ej's such a good guy. he's accepting her decision. "can i give you a hug? before we say goodbye for now."
"i'd actually really like that." gina nods, smiling brightly as she wraps her arms tightly around him. she must say, ej caswell does actually give pretty good hugs. their storybook may not be over, but she's put in a bookmark and closed it. she knows she can reopen it when the time comes, if the time comes, but she's ready for a new chapter.
--
as she walks back inside and he walks out to his car, gina sees nini run up to her almost immediately.
"oh my gosh gina. i um. i saw you with ej. did you two fix things?" she sounds excited for her, but there's a tinge of something else gina doesn't quite now how to name.
"no. i mean- yes. he told me apparently my brother told him i didn't like him like that so he- he didn't want to make me uncomfortable." gina explains, pulling nini aside into a booth in the corner.
"oh- oh my... well that certainly explains that. ej's a good guy. he wasn't the best boyfriend but... we just weren't right for each other when things shook out back then." nini muses, smiling at gina. "shoot- wait sorry that's probably weird for me to say. i know theatre is kind of just... like that but- still probably weird."
"nini- nini it's okay." she cuts off her rambling, unable to help but laugh at her frazzled nature. "i um- i told ej i didn't want to do this right now anyway. i don't know what the future holds but... i'm not ready for him. i have a lot to do, a lot that i want to explore at the moment..."
"oh." nini's saying that a lot tonight, and tucked into the corner with gina, she feels herself relax again.
"no first date with ej. but i um... i do feel pretty good about it i think."
"good. i'm glad. you should go after what you want gina. it's what you do, obviously, but... it's a good thing. ambition's not always bad."
"can i ask you something nini? i um... i think i know what i want right now." gina finally says, staring at the girl in her little red blazer with her hair flowing down perfectly over her shoulders, and she does know what she wants.
"go for it." nini replies, unsure what's happening, but fully ready to trust her with whatever is about to go on.
"will you be my first kiss?"
and it's like the clouds have parted in the evening sky as nini doesn't answer with words, just leaning in and pressing her lips to gina's.
gina's glad she asked as nini's kiss is softer than she could've imagined, tasting of vanilla chapstick, so contrary to the lipstick that gina was trying to put on before she left the theatre, but yet so perfect. so perfectly nini.
she thinks that perhaps everything about that girl put a sparkle in her eye.
no one quite knows what the future holds, but even if this wasn't her forever, it was certainly her right now. and it was a hell of a good one at that.
gina was glad she had opened a brand new book to start writing the new chapter. she deserves some kind of happy. and nini- nini was just the right kind of happy for her on this cool spring night.