Work Text:
Tommy’s brain is working overdrive. And will continue working overtime until he can get a single thought that isn’t the same melody over and over again. He accidentally played it on the piano earlier that night and ever since then it’s been stuck in his head.
He doesn’t know what his brain wants to do with the notes that formed such a pretty sound. Sighing, he looks over at his clock, the numbers 1:36 flash out at him and he groans, slipping out of his bed and making his way out of his room and down the hall. Destination, the kitchen. He’ll get a quick cup of water, and maybe a snack.
Making his way in the dark, barely lit kitchen, his eyes catch the pie that they bought from the store. It’s blueberry pie and he guesses it wouldn’t hurt to eat a piece or two. Excitedly getting a paper plate from the cupboard, he gets a knife and gets himself two pieces and gets a sprite from the fridge. His impromptu late night meal is finished.
Making his way upstairs quickly yet quietly, he gets back in his room and decides to put on some music while looking through emails, hoping to see if anything sparked him to repeat melodies and vocalize with instrumentals he plays with in his head.
Going to Spotify, he goes to Tubbo’s solo artist page and adds his songs to the queue, before doing that will most of his friend’s solos. Supporting the homies, you know how it is. Hitting ‘shuffle’ he opens his email and turns the lights in his canopy bed to pink and shuts the curtains for maximum privacy. Twin meows and crawls into his lap, laying in it and starts making little biscuits on his thigh. It would be cute if it didn’t hurt like a bitch, fuck Twin’s sharp ass nails.
He scrolls through all of the emails on his personal business email, occasionally switching to the group’s business email. Maybe someone wanted to do a collaboration and he subconsciously remembered? A new single? They weren’t even planning on putting out an album until next year, but an EP is planned with a single coming a little ways after it. A collaboration with him, Tubbo, and Ranboo is going to come out soon, but that was all recorded and everything a while ago.
Looking at the most recent emails he received, as well as scouring his memory, nothing seems to have sparked this random creative spiral. Maybe it’s just his mind-
Oh?
Jack Manifold
Solo
Essempi Records have brought up the idea of giving you a solo. You would have complete and utter creative freedom in the entire process if you are to accept. You would be able to choose if you want to make the choreography or get a choreographer to help out, everything will be up to you.
Concepts were thrown around during the meeting they told me about their idea for you. It is all up to you, though and if you are to accept you would be able to either choose a concept or come up with one.
They want you to be able to take reigns and see your full potential, which they believe will only be able to come out and show itself when you are by yourself.
Think about it, bud. I’m rooting for you either way
Jack Manifold
The email was sent two days ago, he must’ve brushed over it somehow. Tommy’s fork was halfway in his mouth, as well as a small piece of pie, and he just sat in awe.
He’s always wanted a solo. Phil, Techno and Wilbur were all given solos and he assumed Essempi was waiting until he turned eighteen but no! He could get a solo! An actual solo! He smiled brightly and clicked the reply button on his laptop.
TommyInnit
Solo
Yes. Absolutely, I’m in. Talk about details tomorrow at the agency? I’m sure the boys can give me away for a bit
:)
Also stop signing off your name at the end of every email. I already know your damn name, dickhead
After hitting send, he lets his mind burst with ideas he was holding back. He opens up Spotify again and stops the music his friend’s made and goes to the SBI’s discography, playing his favorite songs from there, and opening up his own playlists and listening to what he enjoys, finds the things he really enjoys about them, and puts it all in a mental filing cabinet for later.
Whispering to Twin, he says, “Your dad is going to get so rich off this.”
---
Jack saw his email and pulled him out of practice, out of the blue to everyone but Tommy, and walks with him to a meeting with Essempi. Which Tommy was stressing over, even though he knew he wasn’t in trouble. Meeting with the Big Bosses was always nerve-racking.
“Stop replying to my emails at ungodly hours of the night, you might actually start having energy during the day,” Jack comments, walking down the hallways of their agency.
“Stop telling me your name after every email you send.”
“It looks professional!” Jack defends.
“Unneeded! Your emails are informal and then all of a sudden formal! It makes no sense!”
“You just don’t know the ways of business, child.”
“Who’s the one getting a solo?”
“Fuck- oh look we’re here,” Jack says as he walks up to the doors and opens them, giving Tommy no time to get a pair of fucking balls. Jack walks in confidently with the young idol nervously behind him. Tommy and Jack’s seniors smile at them and they smile back. Jack leads him to a chair and sits next to him.
“You’ve accepted the proposal of a solo, is that right, Tommy?”
“Yes, it is,” Tommy responds, his body feeling like it’s boiling.
“That’s amazing. I’m sure Jack already told you, but we see great potential in you and this solo. We feel like you could bring a lot to the table, and with your skills I doubt that this will be much hard for you. You are one of the youngest idols in my company, in any company, and we hope you can show your capabilities to the world with whatever you come up with. As stated, you will have complete and utter creative freedom and we will pay for everything you need.”
Oh shit. Hell fucking yes!
---
“Where have you been? You were gone all day!” Wilbur exclaimed when Tommy walked through the door shortly after Techno, Wilbur and Phil did.
“You were swept away by Jack and never seen again, you in trouble, kid?” Techno said, only kind of worried. Phil was just looking Tommy over, worried that he might’ve gotten in some kind of scuffle. Though with the smile the teen had on his face, he might’ve not had anything bad happen to him.
“Guys! Guys!” Tommy finally said once Phil stopped mother-hening him, “I’m getting a solo!”
And the world stopped for a split second. Before chaos erupted.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” Wilbur asked with a huge smile on his face, and when Tommy nodded enthusiastically, he swept the kid up in his arms and spun them around while squealing.
Phil was cheering loudly, clapping his hands quickly with a proud look in his eyes as he smiled. Techno just smiled, and if it was a little wider than normal, no one commented on it.
---
When Tommy walked into the agency, he went to the studio where the big boy producer was. They were going to be figuring out all of the music stuff and then he could hop into lyrics. Tommy gave him the initial chords he had been thinking of, and sat and listened for hours as ideas were thrown around.
They did this for a few days, going back and forth and figuring out what exactly they wanted. Tommy gave away what he wanted everything to feel like. He wanted it to make the listener feel every negative emotion that was possible. Of course, the instrumental would only be part of it- his vocal performance would have to carry the emotions on it’s back.
Techno, Phil, and Wil cheered him on from the sidelines, all of them having their own personal schedule to attend to. But every night at dinner, they would hear Tommy walking through the door, vocalizing and listening to something with his earphones plugged in.
Once Tommy would sit down at the table, he excitedly would share what he and the producer came up with. The three older boys would then give a thumbs up or a thumbs down, and happily listen to Tommy ramble about how he felt about it all.
If he was happy, they were happy.
---
Turns out, writing lyrics is hard. Tommy’s written lyrics before, don’t get him wrong. But he’s never written a whole song before, just small segments that were rapping. This is singing and rapping. Back when he sang during a collaboration with WasTaken_, the lyrics were his own, yes. But he had someone helping. This time he has no help unless he asks for it, and he’s too stubborn to ask for help.
He decided to make it about his mental health, and how he felt about being in the media’s eye while being so young. It would be a big contrast to his personality and lyrics in the Sleepy Bois Inc. He wanted his solo persona to be different from his usual persona. He was going to be calmer, more open, more vulnerable.
Tommy has already been vulnerable in the public eye. Once. It was on their show, Sleep Well SBI. A particularly sad clip was shown, with his consent of course, of Tommy crying after a show with Business Bay. He had been on the phone with Wil, who also consented to the clip being shown, and was panicking. Worrying about his performance and what people would think of him. Normal teenage things, and that was a turning point in their fandom. Ever since the episode aired, people started looking at him like a regular teenager with regular teenage issues.
Tommy had said on Twitter the day it aired that he hadn’t been feeling like himself that day, and that the pressure had gotten to be too much.
He wanted to write about that pressure, about the stress of being a teenager in the eye of mainstream media. Having to keep normal teenage outbursts inside while out in public, having to shove down his social anxiety for the entertainment of others.
Grieving his childhood.
Tommy was a trainee at eleven years old. He never got a chance to be able to do what other kids did, always so focused on training and practicing. Don’t get him wrong, he’s so happy he’s where he is now.
But he wished he didn’t have to give up such an important part of his life. He’ll never be able to take it back, and it hurts.
So, with a newly sparked inspiration, and sour mood, he picks up his pencil again and starts writing.
---
Tommy had to give the job of writing the lyrics to someone else as he started to get busier and busier within a few days. Shows, concerts, and several other things needed to be done and took priority. Dream had pitched in a few times with ideas for the lyrics, though, and it helped a lot with inspiration.
Speaking of Dream, the man wanted to do a collaboration with him for a solo song once he brought it up. Tommy accepted and together they came up with several ideas for the song. But, before he could finish, his collaboration with Tubbo and Ranboo came out and he was thrown back into promotions. Luckily, though, they were able to come up with a few topics. The words ‘Prison’ and ‘Sleepover’ were thrown around a ton so they decided to do something with that.
Throughout his busy weeks, he was seemingly glued to the stage with Tubbo and Ranboo attached at his hip. Tommy had almost no freetime, and he couldn’t do anything. The boys sympathised with him on that, and gave him as much space as they could.
Two weeks after their collaboration aired, Essempi emailed him asking about when he could come in to record a demo. And he just stared in shock. Because this was actually happening holy shit.
---
After he got a demo and an actual version, he would have to start on choreography. Which he definitely wanted to do on his own. That night, he actually cleared his schedule for the next few weeks of everything he deemed as ‘not important’.
Tommy was thinking of getting help from a choreographer, but then he realized he didn’t know any choreographers that stood out to him. Essempi could hook him up with one, obviously, but he wanted it to be his choice.
And his choice was Niki. She had worked on almost all of BeLoved’s dance routines and had helped him with a few before. She’s skilled in dance and is regarded as one of the best female dancers.
“Niki! Hello!” Tommy greeted
“Tommy? Hi, how are you!” A voice came from the other line, Niki’s voice.
“Good, good. Hey, I’m working on a solo-”
“Oh my god Essempi gave you one? Congratulations Tommy!” Niki cheered and he sighed fondly.
“Thank you,” Tommy smiled, “would you like to help out with the choreography?”
“Oh yes! Totally! Would you mind sending over the file so I could take a listen?”
Tommy hums, “Where would you want to go over choreography with me?”
“I can come to you, we’re in the same agency, Tommy,” Niki laughed out, and Tommy laughed with her.
Once the phone call was over, he excitedly wrote down several ideas for what he wanted the choreography to be like. It was a sad and emotional song, he wanted to communicate that with the audience in more ways than just lyrics, instruments and vocals.
---
Tommy laid on the ground, chest heaving and hurting from how hard it had to try to suck in a deep breath. Niki laughed beside him, just as exhausted as him. They looked over at each other and bursted out into laughter.
The choreography was going great, it’s been a week since he initially called Niki and they were doing well. The backup dancers were working hard too, and he loved working with them. But today, it was just them cleaning up some parts and having fun.
Looking at the clock, he sighs. 9:57 PM. He really should go soon.
Sitting up, he lets out a heavy sigh and looks over at Niki. “It’s getting kind of late, wanna head out for the evening and pick back up tomorrow with everyone else?”
Niki nodded and stood up, offering a hand to Tommy which he took. Walking over to grab her bag, he handed him his own bag. Muttering a small thanks the two make their way out and downstairs to the main lobby, quiet small talk and gossip floating into the empty hallways of their agency.
It was raining, Tommy duly noted. “You gonna be walking home? Do you need a ride?” Niki asked, fishing her car keys out of her bag before looking towards him worriedly. Tommy shook his head with a smile.
“No it’s fine, I like walking in the rain,” Tommy said, grabbing an umbrella from the umbrella rack and readjusting his grip.
“Alright then,” Niki said as she put her head up and watched as Tommy made his way outside.
“Tommy,” Niki called out, continuing when Tommy looked back at her, “Wilbur and Techno are worried about you, no doubt Phil too. Just talk to them tonight, alright?”
Tommy paused, pursing his lips. He nodded and turned back around and continued to walk towards the gate, and further towards his house.
When he walked in the door ten minutes later, it was dark and quiet. A note left on the table:
Food is in the microwave for you :]
Hope you had a good day today Tommy we love you so much
We’re here to help whenever you need, love
You just have to say something, we just want you to be okay. We know you’re overworking yourself, we’re here for you
-Wilbur (and Phil and Techno!) <333
Tommy softly smiles at the note and goes up the stairs and passes by their rooms, opening his door and closing it behind him before flopping onto his bed.
He can do all of that later.
---
“We’re in the final stretch!” He cheers to himself as he excitedly looks at the concept ideas for outfits.
He already picked one out, it’s a dark grey Victorian-esque long jacket with a train leading down to his ankles. The design on the front has little white swirls, almost looking like vines, and black pants. Of course, he can’t leave out the heels, which are simple heeled boots.
He toyed with the idea of wearing a blindfold again- a sheer one, he isn’t an idiot. But he put it away in favor of getting to play with hair extensions. He has the option of looking like Techno with a long high ponytail and he takes it and hugs it close to his chest.
Of course, he’ll have outfit changes in the music video, but this outfit is going to be the main one. It’ll be for photoshoots, the first performance, everything like that.
Tommy squeals in excitement as he sends the photos of the sketches to the SBI group chat.
Sleepiest Fuckholes Of The Century
Hellspawn
[image]
Im gonna look like Techno!!
>:D
Sent 6:48 PM
Wilmblur
Holy shit Tommy that looks great!
Too bad you’ll look ugly :/
Sent 6:49 PM
Biggest Man Ever
Wil >:[
Sent 6:51 PM
Technology The Pig
I gotta agree with Wilbur here, he’s stealing my brand and that just will not do
But you’ll look cool on stage Tommy
Sent 6:51 PM
Hellspawn
Aww thank you Techno!
And fuck you Wil
Sent 6:52 PM
Technology The Pig
Now actually hang out with us
Read 6:53
---
Music video recording time. Tommy’s nerves are buzzing, he’s so nervous. This is it. Once the music video airs, his debut as a soloist will be out to the world. It motivates him to do well, to give his all.
He hums the chorus that is just stuck in his head as the hair stylist puts in his extensions and fucks around with his hair until it cooperates. You see, his hair is just past his jawline, borderline shoulder length but not quite. It’s very hard to get it into the shape they want, and bobby pins are forced into his hair every two seconds.
“Close your eyes,” The hair stylist requests, holding up a bottle of hairspray. Tommy complies and lets the spray blast his hair. It smells like lemons, and that’s very nice.
Once his hair is all there, he finds his head is much heavier than it was thirty minutes ago.
Clara is out of town, so another makeup artist works on his face. He sits patiently as they put all of the cool products onto his face. The process of putting on makeup takes another thirty minutes and before he knows it, he’s thrown into the outfit and in front of several cameras.
He puts on a blank face for the intro and he feels tension drain out of his shoulders as backup dancers crowd around him.
Alright, he thinks, it’s showtime.
---
‘Showtime’ ended up lasting three days, which was fine by Tommy. He was barely home those three days. He came home in the early hours of the morning and left a couple hours after. No interaction with the rest of the Sleepy Bois Inc, which bummed him out severely. He relies on them to simply exist. He isn’t used to not talking with the boys, and his social and emotional battery runs low quicker than it should.
Tommy’s been having breakdowns on set, sleeping during the quick breaks they're given, spacing out when he shouldn’t, and forgetting the choreography.
He heaves out a sigh of relief when he enters his home. The work is done, it’s all over. No more of this ‘hard work’ or anything. He can relax for the next two weeks until the music video gets posted. Essempi gave him two weeks off so he can relax, which he is very grateful for. With that, he gave the rest of the boys two weeks off of shows and concerts because no one was willing to perform missing one person.
Looking over at the clock, it reads 3:08 AM . Whining slightly, exhaustion hits him in waves as he reads it. He throws the bag on the couch and sluggishly makes his way up the stairs and down the hall, before stopping at Wilbur’s door.
Tommy stands in front of the door for a while. Contemplating whether or not he should go into his older brother’s room and sleep there.
His need for love and affection wins the almost non-existent argument in his head and he quietly knocks three times, opening the door.
Wilbur is asleep on his bed turned on his side, Fiona is laying at the end of it, also asleep. Shuffling in, he closes the door behind him and walks up to the bed, towards the other side of the bed and getting in beside Wilbur.
He wiggles under the covers and turns on his side, facing Wilbur who’s facing him. And he takes a deep breath before snuggling into his chest and relaxing as warm arms wrap around him instinctually.
Smiling, he manages to fall asleep quickly and gets the best night of sleep he’s had in a while.
---
It’s the morning of his first performance, he’ll be debuting at a popular show and it will be broadcasted live. Fun, very fun.
The past two weeks have been the most relaxing and chill time ever. Just calm days with the rest of the boys who took care of him.
Techno ran him ice baths, like he usually does, and silently cuddled with him when his body ached so bad he couldn’t think. Phil made him his favorite meals and brought him snacks that made him forget about all of the stress and pain and just made him sit in the present as Phil talked about whatever he talked about. And Wilbur played him music in his room, having karaoke nights with only each other. The three knew how to make him feel better and he couldn’t have wished for better members.
He quietly looked at himself in the mirror as he waited patiently for it to be his time to go on stage. And it seemed like ages, just waiting and walking back and forth. The hair was a new thing and he definitely had to get used to it, especially for promotions. He would have to walk around with hair down to his ass all the time, it was not going to be fun. How does Techno do it? He doesn’t know.
Finally, FINALLY, it’s time to go out and he rushes out.
The crowd cheers and he gets into position.
Fucking Go Time.
---
Once that’s all done he goes into his waiting room once more, only to be met with three people smiling brightly and cheering. It’s Techno, Phil and Wilbur!
Wilbur almost throws him to the ground with the sheer force of his bear hug, and Phil just wraps his arms around Tommy’s neck and hugs him tightly from there. Techno is smiling softly and clapping gently.
“TOMMY! YOU DID SO FUCKING WELL HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING!” Wilbur yelled, trying to convey the amount of pure pride and holy-shit-that’s-my-fucking-brother .
“You did amazing on stage, Toms. Your song is-” Phil is cut off by Wilbur’s yelling, as he normally is.
“SIMPLY THE BEST SONG IN EXISTENCE! YOU DID THAT AND DID IT SO FUCKING AMAZINGLY, HOLY SHIT!” Wilbur squeezes him tightly and twirls him around, both of them laughing lively. Phil’s long since let go of Tommy, he doesn’t want to choke the poor boy!
Techno’s silent clapping and smiling is stopped when Tommy’s hair hits him in the face and he makes a choking noise as it goes into his mouth. His. Mouth.
“Sorry Technoblade!” Tommy says, still being hugged tightly by Wilbur who is definitely not letting go of the boy anytime soon.
“Wil, let him go I wanna talk to him for a second,” Techno says quietly, looking Wilbur directly in his eyes. The two seem to have a stare off before Wilbur let’s out a groan of defeat and shoves the golden-haired teen towards Techno.
Techno puts his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and leads the boy outside to the hallway where they can have some privacy.
Tommy looks at Techno. Usually he’d be looking up at him, but he has heels on, so.
“Alright, how are you feelin’ after such a great performance?” Techno asks calmly.
Tommy shrugs, “Okay, I guess. I’m honestly just struggling to stay awake,” Tommy confesses, blowing a stray hair out of his face. Techno nods in understanding.
Without any warning, Techno moves forward and hugs him. Tommy stands in shock for a moment. But only for a moment. He’s soon returning the hug and they just stand there holding each other for the longest time.
Techno’s mumbling quiet praises in his ear as he hugs his little brother tighter and tighter. The pride he feels drips off of his words and it dips Tommy into the feeling of being completely, and utterly loved.
The boys have made it clear to him that he’s loved. He’s loved and cherished. As precious to them as they are to him. They’re a family, in all ways but one.
“The things I would do for you,” Techno softly mumbles. Tommy simply sighs happily.
He’s quite happy, he thinks.