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Julie had been introducing them all to music they’d missed since their departure from life, mostly stuff she thought they’d like or things in a similar sound as what Sunset Curve used to be. They’d found a good amount of new inspiration as well as a few songs that had been playing nonstop since their first listen. It was one of the funnest things they’d done since returning to this sort of life.
Until it wasn’t.
Until Julie had put on this band 5 Seconds of Summer, stating their earlier stuff reminded her of Sunset Curve and how they were really cool musicians. They were a good handful of songs in, Spotify running through different albums sporadically when it came on.
They would yell, they would scream, they were fighting it out
She would hope, she would pray, she was waiting it out
Holding on to a dream
While she watches these walls fall down
Reggie perked up, muscles tensing as he listened harder to the lyrics now, every nerve ending on fire below his skin. Surely this wasn’t what it sounded like.
Sharp words like knives, they were cutting her down
Shattered glass like the past, it's a memory now
Holding on to a dream
While she watches these walls fall down
Hey mom, hey dad
When did this end?
Where did you lose your happiness?
I'm here alone inside of this broken home
Who's right, who's wrong
Who really cares?
The fault, the blame, the pain's still there
I'm here alone inside of this broken home, this broken home
Oh.
Reggie felt like he’d been socked in the gut, So this was what it sounded like.
Worse than that, Reggie could see it all in his head like an old film roll. Flashes of broken plates and red faces, distorted audio clips of harsh words and profanities, blurry slides of his own feet running to hide. It made him feel sick to his stomach, brain suddenly unsure where he was and whether or not he was safe here.
Had he ever been safe?
Wrote it down on the walls, she was screaming it out
Made it clear, she's still here, are you listening now?
Just a ghost in the halls
Reggie remembered returning to his home after Julie had freed them from the dark room. He remembered the bone deep sadness of everything he’d ever known being torn away and replaced by shops that no longer felt right. But he also remembered the wave of relief, like the cool sea breeze, washing over him as he realized his parents weren’t there.
There was no trace of them left and suddenly the sand below his feet had felt more stable than the solid concrete of the studio floors. With them gone, there was no more crumbling family. There was no failed marriage haunting this place anymore, no more broken dreams scattered throughout the sand.
Feeling empty, they're vacant now
All the battles, all the wars, all the times that you've fought
She's a scar, she's the bruises, she's the pain that you brought
There was life, there was love
Like a light and it's fading out
A hand fell on the bassist's shoulder and jolted him back to reality, back into the studio that was so full of warmth and love that it nearly made him feel claustrophobic. It was so the opposite of where he’d just been transported to.
“Reg, you okay?” Alex asked, voice soft and calming like the lullabies he used to soothe Reggie with after a bad night.
Swallowing against the sudden dryness in his mouth, Reggie smiled weakly, feeling it shiver to stay in place. “Yeah.. M’okay.”
“You sure?” Luke chimed in from a few feet away, eyes squinted in concern. Of course they didn’t believe him. They’d seen this before.
Reggie forced a bigger smile, even though it felt like plastic on his face, “Yeah, I’m okay. I promise.”
And he wasn’t, not exactly. His insides felt like someone had scooped them out and replaced them with sticky snow cone slush, cold and uncomfortable. But there was more to it than that.
Reggie felt seasick and unsure, yes, but he also felt safe. In the studio, a place where no one had ever raised their voice or broken anything to spite another, surrounded by his family and curled up on a couch that smelled like the violet shampoo Julie used, Reggie felt safe.
This wasn’t a broken home.
It was just his home. Their home.