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Trisha had only been a young girl when she’d first met him. He was tall and golden, beautiful in a way, and so very, very sad . She hadn’t quite understood what sort of weight he was carrying, but she knew she just wanted him to smile, to have fun, to forget, even if only for a second.
He’d disappeared after that night, but Auntie Pinako had assured her he was fine, that he was just a wanderer.
She’d met him again at the same annual celebration a few years later, looking as if time had never touched him, but still with the same haunted look, shoulders heavy like he carried the weight of the world.
“Will you dance with me?” she had asked, her face heating up slightly because he was really quite handsome up close. He turned to her, blinking in shock, just like that first time, like he never expected to be noticed, let alone approached.
And just like that first time, with a gentle nudge from Auntie Pinako, he hesitantly grabbed her hand and allowed her to pull him into her orbit. And maybe it was a bit self-absorbed, but she thought he maybe seemed just a tiny bit lighter when he did.
It was when she was a young adult that everything changed. They’d grown to be quite good friends as his visits became more frequent. She was drawn to him in a way, his mystery, how he was so lonely but so kind.
“No matter how many years pass, you still look exactly the same. You must have some incredible genetics. Are you even human?” she joked.
A long pause and the atmosphere became very heavy. She frowned. A dark cloud came over his face.
“I’m sorry, I must go.” He stood up abruptly
He was out of sight before she could even process what happened. What…was that?
He didn’t come around again for quite a while, atleast several months, which gave her time to stew, the terrified look in his eyes branded on her brain. Who was he? What was he? And why did she suddenly have this fear that she would never see him again?
She only just happened to see him walking towards the train station in town.
She gasped, dropping her grocery bags. She knew her parents would be cross with her but that was a problem for later. She had to catch him!
“Hey!” She called out. He didn’t acknowledge that he had heard and she was sure it was intentional, so she picked up the pace.
She grabbed his arm once he got within reach. “Hey!”
He turned towards her slowly, that same look of haunted perplexity he always had, forever evergreen like the rest of him.
“Mr. Hohenheim! I don’t normally see you in town like this.”
He averted his eyes, shrugging her off gently. “I was just leaving.”
“Why?” He didn’t seem to have an answer to that, so she grabbed his sleeve, dragging him behind her again. “Stay a while. Chat with friends.”
She expected him to rebuff her, to be rejected. She was being awfully forward with him, after all. But he just followed her silently, even standing over her like a spectre when she grabbed her abandoned groceries, until she led him to a bench, patting the seat next to her.
He sat down, cautiously, weary, like a frightened animal.
She’d been buzzing with so many questions for when she saw him again, but now that she had him, her tongue was caught in her throat. Where did she even begin-?
“It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” And then she winced at the crack in her own voice.
He thankfully didn't comment on it as he just responded softly, “Yes, it is.”
He didn’t make any moves to continue the conversation and she felt just a little bit ridiculous.
She peeked from the corner of her eye, breath catching at how his hair shone in the sunlight, like spun gold. She’d never seen someone who looked like him before, except in story books. He was…beautiful.
“Did you have things you wanted to ask me?” he asked, jolting her attention. She flushed, realizing she’d been staring, and looked down at her lap.
“You left so abruptly last time,” she mumbled. “Why?”
He gave her a steady look. “I simply felt I’d overstayed my welcome.”
But Trisha wasn’t stupid. “You’re lying, aren’t you?” Before he could deny it, she pushed forward. “It was because of what I said.”
He clenched his jaw. “I can’t speak to you about this.”
“Why? We’re friends, aren’t we?” Her little crush aside…
He looked so sad, she felt her heart clench. “You’re still so young, I could never burden you with such a thing.”
She raised her chin defiantly. “I’m not a child.”
His gaze was long, so long it almost made her uncomfortable. “No, I suppose you’re not anymore, are you?”
She didn’t know what it was, but something told her she could ask anything and he would answer.
“Who are you? You’re not just a traveler, are you?”
“No.”
And she decided to leave it there for now.
He’d ended up buying the freshly built house next to Auntie Pinako’s and suddenly his increasingly frequent visits made a lot more sense. A part of her had hoped that maybe it was because of her, but she supposed that was a fool’s dream. He was so much older than her, so much wiser. She was only 20 years old, still young and the perfect age to start settling down as her parents always helpfully reminded her. But despite some interested prospects, her thoughts always wandered back to the man up on the hill with the sad, golden eyes, who seemed so ancient despite never aging. She wanted to know him, to be the one to make him smile, to be the one who knew his secrets.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Auntie Pinako had asked her one time on one of her many house visits.
She froze. She wanted to deny it. To laugh it off, but the older woman was much too smart for that, her eyes full of wisdom.
“That man has experienced things you couldn’t possibly imagine, Trisha. You might be out of your depth.”
How much did Auntie Pinako know? More than her, obviously, and she tried not to let that sting. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps Van would never look at her in such a way, but he still kept letting her visit, making him tea, and even watching him study.
Her answer came soon after.
“Perhaps it’s best that you don’t visit anymore, Trisha.”
She frowned. “You don’t want me here anymore?”
“I do. That’s precisely the problem.”
He was always so cryptic and it was just a bit frustrating. “If you like it when I'm here, then why shouldn’t I be?”
He stared at her, his gaze darker than she’d ever seen it. “Because I’ll end up doing something I’ll regret.”
He’d never looked at her like that before and she found herself unable to move. “What if I want you to?” she asked lowly, hoping she wasn’t reading this wrong.
What happened afterwards told her she’d read everything exactly right.
They’d managed to keep it a secret for a couple months, most surprising in a small town of gossip, until she’d gotten rather shocking news.
“Pregnant?” he whispered, dropping the book he’d been holding.
She nodded solemnly, not quite sure how to feel about the news herself. She wasn’t against the idea of being a mother, but it wasn’t something she’d planned for so soon. Their relationship was still new, tentative, and this would change everything, air everything out into the open. There were many secrets she could keep, but a pregnancy wasn’t one of them.
Van had this look of abject horror. “How is that even possible?” She furrowed her brow. Surely this wasn’t something she needed to explain, but he just continued to mutter like she wasn’t even there, “It shouldn’t be possible. Not with this body.”
“‘This body?’” she repeated, and he stiffened, remembering she was there. “What do you mean by that? Is something wrong with you? Is that why you don’t age?”
She’d allowed him to dodge around the subject of his unchanging appearance for a while now, but not anymore. It wasn’t just about her anymore.
And then he did something she’d never seen before. He’d burst into tears.
He told her about his body, how it would never age, never die, how he was old, so much older than she ever thought possible. She supposed she should’ve been shocked by it, but instead it was like a calm washed over. Like all the puzzle pieces finally fit together. As she watched his hands clench in fear of her reaction, all she felt was just sympathy. How many people had he watched die while he stayed frozen? How many years had he wandered, alone?
“You should leave while you still can,” he said, once he’d finally gotten it out of his system.
But her parents didn’t raise a quitter and she was more stubborn than he gave her credit for.
“Now why would I do that?” she asked, resting a head on his shoulder. “You’re still the same man I fell in love with.”
“You could never have a normal relationship with me. I’m a monster and that child probably will be too.”
She glared at him fiercely. “You’re not a monster and neither is our child. Stop talking like that.”
He didn’t say anything more, but she had a feeling this fight wasn’t over.
Despite the disapproval from her family and others, her and Van managed to be happy, well as happy as they could be, anyway, creating their own little family with Edward and later Alphonse. They’d even gotten married in a small, private ceremony not long after Edward was born.
But the happiness was short-lived. She’d gotten too comfortable.
He left.
He promised her he would return just as she'd promised him she’d let him die first, but there was a tiny part of her that knew both of those promises would be broken.
But she kept that thought to herself, never voicing it no matter how many times her two sons asked about him.
She quashed the loneliness when she saw them following in his footsteps, at such young ages, putting on a smile and telling them how proud she was. Because she was. But they looked so much like him it made her heart ache.
And then the epidemic came.
She felt the life in her body slowly leave her day by day. She wanted to see him one last time, but as each breath became more labored , she knew in her heart she wouldn’t.
As she took her last breath, her last thoughts were of her boys, still so young and left all alone, and of him. She hoped wherever he was, he would find her way back to their sons.
Find his way home.
But her role was over.