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Mountain wasn’t one for, what Rain deemed as, big emotions. His happiness was calm and infectious, his playful moods just as gentle, the joy spread out like a soft blanket. The sadness came in gentle wisps, and never in pity of himself. No. The sadness the ghoul showed was always for others. A soft frown and a solemn voice when he spoke of plants that couldn’t make it, a melancholy smile in support when someone shared their sorrows with him, the quietest of hitches in his breathing when Rain rested his tear streaked face between Mountain’s neck and pillow when he believed the water ghoul to be asleep.
For longer than he cared to admit, Rain didn’t believe Mountain was ever sad simply for himself. He thought it was such a great strength, proof of a kind heart. And in his selfishness, he used it as an insult to himself, for being weak. For not having the kind of selflessness Mountain possessed. How could he compare when the best being he knew never shed a single tear for himself, and focused his emotions on those around him?
There was certainly no joy in admitting he was wrong in that. Wrong in daring to assume anything, wrong in using his own idea of Mountain to punish himself.
It had taken a handful particularly rough nights of Rain losing his composure in the security of the other ghouls bedroom before he had done the unimaginable, which was earn the right to Mountains unfiltered and strong emotions.
He had been reading, tipping his chair to the brink of crashing back on to the floor. The knock was soft enough that he could have just as easily brushed it off as coming from a different door, just a single dull thud of wood. It was hard to remember exactly why he’d gotten up and pulled it open, maybe just to be certain he’d actually heard something. Though he couldn’t forget the sight before him.
“Can we talk?” And Rain couldn’t think of a time he’d ever heard such a quietly broken voice, shaken to his core when he stepped back and allowed Mountain inside.
“What’s happened?” He’d asked, foolishly believing someone must have been seriously injured to bring Mountain to such a state.
“I’m sorry,” Mountain had declared, eyes bouncing around the room, stood stiff. Clearly not sure what to do with himself. “I couldn’t be alone anymore, and-“ There was a shuddering intake of breath that had kicked Rain into gear, closing his door and making his way swiftly to stand by Mountain’s side.
“I wasn’t sure where to go. I didn’t want to be alone.” There was clearly more the earth ghoul wanted to say, but he was nearly bursting at the seams with how much he’d begun to tense up. The hitching in his breathing growing more noticeable, until Rain was able to bring himself to lift a hand to cup the side of Mountains neck.
Rain can’t recall what he’d said, not exactly. There had been some reassurance, telling Mountain he was always welcome. He must’ve asked how he could help, because he remembered Mountain folding in on himself, gangly limbs wrapping around his own torso when his knees found the floor. Some incoherent words were muttered until he was finally crying in earnest, asking Rain to hold him. To please not leave him on his own.
He’d never gathered someone in his arms so desperately, settling himself to pull Mountain into his chest, trying to keep his voice calm. To offer the same assurance the large ghoul had always given him. But apparently his urgent rambling and promises were enough comfort, when Mountain clung to him. The cries nearly silent, but wracked his body so harshly that it sent jolts through Rains bones.
He would never be so silly again, something he promised himself long after he had spent much of his night cradling his love on the cold floor, hours after he’d coaxed him underneath the covers and Mountain had begun to calm his body down.
This ghoul was a saint, all irony aside, a perfectly made gift from Lucifer himself, there could be no doubts. And he still felt his own private sorrows. He still hurt for himself. His entire being wasn’t dedicated to caring for others. And the strength it must have taken to carry so much on his shoulders, to ask his lover for support, well. Rain had been naive before, and he would find a way to make it up to this gentle giant.