Work Text:
June 5th, 2023.
The day that Qiao Yifan would always remember by heart, and what he meant by heart, he meant heartbreak.
Liu Fei had made her choice, and her choice was not him.
It felt as though time stopped ticking and the spotlight was shining on her and her new boyfriend, Liu Xiaobie. Qiao Yifan could only congratulate them politely, but inside, he wished he could lash out at the new couple out of his hidden pain. Even a mention of them being happily in love was a sprinkle of salt to his already wounded heart.
In the end, Qiao Yifan could only shy away from others and went back to his bedroom, contemplating on why.
Why did he love her in the first place when he only knew in hindsight that it would end in a messy break up?
Why did she leave him for another boy, a player better than him, a reserve loser?
Why did he still love her even though things clearly were not looking up?
Qiao Yifan had a hard time accepting the truth, the harsh truth that Liu Fei would rather throw him under the bus if that meant she could be with her new love.
Qiao Yifan was cleaning up his room in the apartment that Chen Guo rented for him and his Happy teammates, when he accidentally found a faded polaroid of someone he knew.
Qiao Yifan and Liu Fei, when everything felt like a honeymoon. They were seen smiling while on a date by the cherry blossom tree in their senior year of highschool.
But all good things must end...but why?
Why was he stupid enough to get himself hurt like this?
Why was she cruel enough to stab him in the back with a knife that is rejection?
Why was he still in love with her even though he definitely did not like this...?
Even when Qiao Yifan was still with Liu Fei, he could see the cracks in their relationships from the way she treated him in front of their teammates and the public. He denied them all for the sake of her and their relationship.
They were an on and off couple, breaking up only to kiss and make up. It was a vicious cycle that kept on repeating itself. Despite that, Qiao Yifan was hesitant to break up with Liu Fei.
Liu Fei was his everything, his first love. Qiao Yifan was willing to endure everything just for Liu Fei, even if it meant humiliation from her herself.
And Qiao Yifan knew really well that he was breathing in hydrogen cyanide, but he still loved her anyway.
What did love even mean to him?
What did faith even mean to him?
What did hope even mean to him?
Qiao Yifan held these virtues tightly in his heart for Liu Fei, until he found out that she had been cheating on him with Liu Xiaobie, a rookie player in Tiny Herb. The moment his eyes set on them, his blood dropped low and his heart broke into smithereens.
What was it that he saw at that time?
What was the sight that broke him into tears?
What was his nightmare that came true this time?
Qiao Yifan immediately ran to his room and cried for hours. No one knew about this until Gao Yingjie, his best friend, entered the room. Gao Yingjie tried his best to console him, but he failed to do so.
The next few weeks, Qiao Yifan would not come out of his room except for meal times and mandatory meetings with his team. He missed most of the training sessions that he should have attended and as a result, his performance suffered.
Apart from Gao Yingjie, everyone acted frosty towards Qiao Yifan, having little regard to his deteriorating mental state. While he was forever grateful for Gao Yingjie and his kindness, he would never forget his own team’s apathy towards him.
What did “being part of the team” even mean to him?
What did “team as family” even mean to him?
What did being a player in Tiny Herb even mean to him?
A month later, not much had happened to him other than the reserve team’s recent defeat against Lord Grim, who was rumored to be played by Ye Xiu. Out of curiosity, Qiao Yifan decided to tag along with his teammates to challenge Lord Grim and his allies the night after.
Qiao Yifan managed to take on Soft Mist and defeat her after three minutes. He then duelled Lord Grim, who was none other than Ye Xiu himself, and it was a stalemate until the Unspecialized killed his avatar.
It was not a surprise for Qiao Yifan to lose against a godly pro player like Ye Xiu. However, what shocked him was what Ye Xiu messaged to him afterwards.
Lord Grim: Muster up some courage, Yifan!
Qiao Yifan smiled for the first time since his break up with Liu Fei.
Why was he feeling good when he should be feeling bad?
Why were his spirits high when he was at his lowest?
Why was he happily smiling when he should sulk like the others and be sad?
Qiao Yifan went on to train more with his new account, One Inch Ash, and studied more about the Ghostblade class. He soon became friends with Ye Xiu and his team, most of which eventually became the basis for his current team.
For the first time, Qiao Yifan could leave his sadness and hurt behind and feel true happiness from the inside out. The only thing he wished for his ex was happiness for her. Nothing else, now that he had resolved the angst inside of him.
Why, for the first time, could he let her go to the boy who would love her?
Why, for the first time, was he able to say goodbye to her and their relationship?
Why, for the first time, could he live life without her?
Qiao Yifan exhaled as he put the polaroid back into the drawer.