Work Text:
7/10/15
I feel like I haven’t written here in forever. The last few months of school were insanely busy, and summer is always busy. Mom came again this year, and I’ve been working a bit more because it’s summer. I was never good at keeping up with a journal, not even for school.
This week has been awful. Jamie has had a cold for the last week, which means we aren’t allowed to see each other. Well, actually that’s not true. Dad wouldn’t care if I went over, or even stayed the night. I know because I asked him this morning, though I guess I didn’t have to. Unless Jamie was grounded or Dad just knew his family would be busy, he has never tried to stop me from seeing him before.
But, Jamie’s moms said they don’t want me to get sick so they won’t let me see him. I tried climbing through his window anyways, but Jamie wouldn’t let me come in either. He said that he doesn’t wanna get me, Mom or Dad sick. I know he’s right, and I wouldn’t wanna make him upset when he’s already not feeling well. So, I haven’t been visiting.
That’s not true either. I’ve been visiting a lot. Sort of. Actually I’ve been coming over a lot to ask his moms how he’s doing and if he’s feeling any better. I ask Jamie too, but he’s always been a big baby. Or maybe he just likes to milk the attention. Whatever it is, “I’m dying” isn’t really the answer I’m looking for.
I also dropped off some soup today and said Dad made it. I’m lucky Dad is a good liar because I wasn’t expecting Noelani to call to say thank you. Mom still hasn’t stopped teasing me.
I felt a little bad for lying, especially when there was no need to. It’s not exactly scandalous to make your boyfriend some soup and he likes my cooking. I have no reason to feel embarrassed, I really shouldn’t feel so shy. But everyone teased me for being so clingy with him, and I’m definitely not helping my case at all.
Jamie knew it was me who made the soup anyways, and even called to tease me and ask if he could make a request. He said he wasn’t serious about it, but I know he has been complaining about how Noelani won’t let him have anything but soup, juice and tea. Actually he hasn’t asked for anything else because he doesn’t wanna break her heart. She just wants him to get better.
I told him I could buy him some snacks and drop them off when I get off work, but he insisted I didn’t have to. Especially since he’s been going to bed pretty early lately.
I got him some stuff anyways, and I’m gonna drop it off in the morning. I needed to restock my snack drawer anyways.
7/11/15
Work was so busy today. I’m so tired, but at least I’m off tomorrow. Note to my past self; being a waiter is not as easy as you think it is. I should have just applied to work at the library like Jamie told me too. At least we’d be working together, even if I wouldn’t have seen him this week.
Speaking of him, I haven’t spoken to him much today. I went to work a bit earlier than usual today and when I had stopped by he was asleep. He did text me to ‘scold’ me but we didn’t get to talk at all today. Terry told me he and Miranda had called and checked in on him earlier and said he seemed to miss me just as much as I missed him. I could have cried when I heard.
I feel like I’m going crazy without him. We have seen each other almost everyday for the past ten years, my days feel so empty without him. Dad told me Pamela said he’s feeling a bit better though, so maybe things will go back to normal soon.
Mom says I shouldn’t worry so much.
Speaking of Mom, I’m so lucky that Dad was the one who taught me to drive. She had to borrow the car today because she’s been having some trouble with hers so she tagged along when I went to work. I swear she barely said a word and looked pale as snow . She insisted on driving both of us back home. I’m a great driver though!
I think it’s just a mom thing. Liz always complained Pamela and Noelani were the same way. Then again, I’ve been in a car with her. I think they have the right to complain. God, I can’t imagine how they’ll react when Jamie learns to drive. I tried to give him a lesson one time a month ago. I thought he was gonna destroy my brakes, he was terrified.
I feel as if I’m forgetting something. Today felt so busy but other than work, not much else happened. Maybe I’ll remember in the morning.
7/12/15
I forgot something yesterday? I don’t even remember writing most of my last entry. How weird.
Today was alright. Most of the day I spent at home with Mom while Dad was at work. We must have played every board game in the house by now, but Mom says the next big thing we do has to be with Dad. I wish I knew what she was planning, but something tells me Dad doesn’t know either.
Jamie’s feeling better, he definitely sounds way better. It was definitely a long week, so he should be able to hang out again in no time.
7/13/15
Mom, Dad and I went to the movies today! I feel like such a kid for being so excited. It’s not like they don’t get along, we do lots of stuff together when Mom comes for the summer. But, I don’t think we’ve ever gone together before.
Plus we went really early in the morning so it was just the three of us in the whole theater! I feel kinda bad that I was complaining about being up so early, clearly Mom knew what she was doing. She doesn’t seem upset at all though.
Dad went to work not long after the movie was over but Mom and I stayed and got to catch another. The second one definitely wasn't as good as the first, maybe that’s just because he wasn’t there.
Maybe next time Jamie can join us too. Though, he definitely isn’t a morning person either.
I didn’t get to talk to him much today, but Noelani stopped by to give us back our pot today and said he’s feeling way better! I'm so glad, I can’t wait to see him again.
7/15/15
I forgot to update this yesterday, but I guess there wasn’t much to say. I worked most of the day and then came home to hang out with my parents. It’s always fun when they’re around, of course. But I guess I was just really tired yesterday.
Today Jamie officially went back to work! He’s feeling way better now. I didn’t get to see him this morning but after work I stopped by his place and we got to hang out for a while. I didn’t stay long, he was tired after all. But, we get to see each other way more again!
Mom seems just as happy as I am, I think she missed him too. I’ll definitely have to invite him over soon so we can all do something together. Maybe this weekend so we don’t have to worry about work getting in the way.
I tried to sleep earlier but I feel wide awake. I guess I’m just relieved. I missed him.
7/16/15
I ended up sneaking over last night. I wasn’t sure what I had planned, if anything. I guess I just really needed to see him. As soon as he opened his window I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I don’t even remember most of the things I said, I just needed to speak to him, I needed to see him. I guess that’s always how it’s been with Jamie.
He didn’t seem to mind my rambling, but he did shut me up pretty fast.
God, I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know what came over me but the second I felt his lips on mine the only thing I could think about was him. All I could think about was touching him, something I hadn’t been able to do in what felt like forever.
I had no idea how much I missed holding his hands. I had no idea how much I had missed running my fingers through his hair, or the feeling of his hands running through mine. I almost forgot where we were as the two of us continued to, well, makeout . But before I knew it he was pressed against his bed and I was practically straddling him.
I stopped myself, obviously. But I nearly threw myself out his window in my own embarrassment! He hasn’t brought it up again, thank God. He knows far too well how I get. I wish I wasn’t like that. I wish I didn’t get so embarrassed. I wish I didn’t enjoy the way I acted.
I thought talking about it would make me feel better but I feel as if I’m reliving it all over again. I need to think about something else. But reading my own words right now sure isn’t helping.
I think I’ll just head to bed.
7/18/15
Mom and Dad weren’t here when I came back. Dad sent me a message to say they decided to hang out with Jamie’s moms for a few hours to catch up. Jamie thinks that they want to give us an excuse to have some time alone together since we haven’t been able to see each other much these past few weeks. I think they’re just sick of us moping around all day.
I can’t say I mind. Jamie decided to spend the night for a few days since we both don’t work for the next three. So, now I’m just writing in here to waste a little time before he arrives.
I’ll be embarrassed in a few days, but I think I deserve a few days to be clingy. In fact, I think I deserve to be shameless for a few days.
That’s right, world! I miss my boyfriend. I miss holding his hand. I miss our embarrassing makeout sessions that end way too quickly. I miss watching movies with him. I miss giving him gifts. I miss making him things and being honest about them.
In fact, I’m gonna make some soup for him right now, and I’ll tell everyone I did it too!
7/19/15
It seems we were a little more than shameless.
In other news, I didn’t get the chance to make soup.