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For the record, Bellamy’s not jealous.
First, because he can’t be. It wouldn’t be socially acceptable. Clarke just made Madi’s adoption official which means she’s now her mother in the eyes of the law so nothing and no one could ever force them apart. So it’s definitely not the time to be unhappy.
Second, because he loves Madi, and he encouraged her multiple times to open her heart to other people. Hell, he’s the one who insisted on bringing Murphy and Emori to the first picnic they got together in the first place. He’s the one who introduced them. So this is basically what he wanted, for Madi to let people in.
Third, because he also loves Emori, and yes, Murphy pisses him off most of the time, but he also loves him. They’re family, and he can see that Madi is really important to them and that the girl is happy when she gets to hang out with them.
Four, because even if he’s not her godfather, he matters in her life. And he knows that she loves him. He knows he’s important to her. He has this special space in her life and in her mom’s life and he likes it. It’s an undefined space, and no definition or word can really define him and what he represents for them, but he’ll take it. Every day, he’d take it.
“Sir!”
The voice tears him from his thoughts. It seems he was lost there for quite some time, if the annoyed glare the woman has set on him means anything.
“Yes, sorry.”
“Here, your cotton candy.”
She hands him his already paid candy and he leaves the stand, giant pink sugar cloud in hand, looking for two familiar girls in the crowd of the busy fair. He finds them at the shooting game, of course. He watches them from afar, as Clarke grabs the rifle and stands in front of the target. Her posture is impeccable. He would know, he’s the one who taught her to shoot, six years ago.
“Are you sure this is the one you want?” she asks Madi who waits on one side.
The nine-year-old girl points a finger on a big, green stuffed toy.
“Pascal, yes!” she answers, and Bellamy can’t help but smile.
Madi’s life before Clarke wasn’t a happy one. She went through very difficult things, and met difficult people. She didn’t really have a childhood before meeting Clarke three years ago. It took some time for the child to lower her walls, but since then, it’s like she is trying to make up for the years she lost and the things she didn’t get to experience.
Going through all the Disney movies is her latest obsession. Tangled is her favorite and she has a soft spot for Pascal. When Bellamy asked why, she glared at him and said that “the reasons were obvious, duh.” A true pre-teenager.
“So I’m aiming for the big, ugly, green lizard—” says her mother.
“It’s a chameleon, Clarke,” immediately corrects Madi.
“Sorry, I should know the difference, I’ve met Bellamy’s ex-girlfriend.”
“Hey!” he exclaims at that.
So she noticed him after all.
“Clarke, you can’t say things like that. Echo is nice, I like her fine!” defends Madi, looking offended for Bellamy’s sake.
“Right, right. Now hush, I need to focus.”
And she does, takes a deep breath, and between the inhale and the exhale, shoots and—
A bell rings, Madi yells with excitement as a big, ugly green chameleon falls from the shelf.
“So I’m assuming that I’m the one who is going to carry Pascal?”
He’s absolutely the one who has to carry Madi’s prize but the girl frees him from the cotton candy. They eat while they walk together through the fair. Their arms are touching. Madi’s excited cries are echoing around them. Clarke is stealing candy from her daughter before pushing it right into his open mouth, her fingers light against his mouth, and Bellamy swears he’s gonna die.
This is what he wants. This is what he needs. Every single day of his life. Madi’s laughs, candy, and Clarke’s skin against his mouth. Forever.
But if neither Madi nor Clarke deem him worthy of being godfather, then he can’t believe that he could be more, right?
Madi stops them in front of a roller coaster and already, his worrying daddy side is showing up, watching for security, glaring at the seat belts and eyeing the triple loops with a frown. He’s about to say no when a boy in the waiting line recognizes her. He yells her name and Bellamy watches as her whole face brightens all at once.
“Ethan! You’re here! Oh my god, you’re trying the roller coaster, that is so cool!”
“Of course I am, come on in, let’s do it together!”
Madi turns to them and he swears she’s the exact replica of that cat meme his sister sends him when she really wants something. The cat is from Shrek and is actually a liar and a thief using his cuteness to steal from others, but it seems Bellamy’s the only one who’s old enough to remember that part.
“Please?” she asks and now, he can’t say no. Can he?
Then, Ethan speaks up.
“Come on, Madi’s mom, Madi’s dad, please! It’s safe and I’ll look out for her, I swear!”
He’s too shocked to even answer. Too shocked to even process what the boy just said. Too shocked to register that Clarke agrees at his side and that Madi and Ethan disappear in the waiting line.
Madi’s dad. Someone just confused him with Madi’s dad. Like he could pass for Madi’s dad. Maybe not her biological father, but her dad nonetheless. But how could he be her dad when he’s not good enough to be her godfather?
Clarke’s elbow touches his side gently, bringing back his attention to the present. Her blue eyes are questioning when she looks in his, her tone hesitant when she asks:
“Okay. Are you even going to tell me what’s on your mind?”
“What’s on my mind?”
“Yes, you’ve been brooding since the moment we got here. Are you not enjoying the fair? Because you’re the one who suggested we come here to celebrate—”
“No, it’s not that. The fair is perfect, you’re—” perfect, that’s what he wants to say. But six years of friendship including four of being head over heels for Clarke have forced him to learn to keep his tongue. “Everything is perfect.”
“So what’s wrong?
He sighs. Besides his feelings for her, he never kept anything from Clarke. She’s his best friend and he has always shared his every thought with her. He just doesn’t know how not to, at this point.
“I guess that I was a little surprised—” God, why is this so difficult? “—about your choice for Madi’s godparents,” he ends up saying as fast as he can manage.
She doesn’t frown, she doesn’t open her mouth in surprise, she just looks … sad and maybe a little guilty which he doesn’t understand.
“It’s fine, though. I understand why you and Madi chose Emori and John for this role. They will be perfect, I’m sure. They love Madi and Madi loves them. They’re a solid fixture in her life, and in your life too. They’re perfect.”
“Perfect,” repeats Clarke, frowning this time.
“Yes. It’s just—”
I wanted it to be me.
“Madi wanted it to be you, you know?” Clarke says then, and all he can do is stare in shock.
“What?”
“Yeah…”
She stops talking. Why does she stop talking? Why won’t she explain why not only she didn’t choose him but she told Madi she disagreed with her choice too?
“Clarke?” he presses on, but then, Madi is back already and he understands why she isn’t saying anything anymore. Her daughter looks a little pale, bordering on green, and wobbly on her feet. If Ethan wasn’t close by her side, helping her to walk, Bellamy is pretty sure Madi would be lying on the floor right now.
They hurry to her side and, as Clarke crouches down to face her daughter, Bellamy frowns at Ethan.
“I— I don’t know what went wrong,” stammers the boy. “We didn’t even get on the roller coaster. She wanted to but I could see she wasn’t okay, so I asked to leave the waiting line and—”
Bellamy lays a hand on Ethan’s shoulder and feels him relax.
“Hey, it’s okay, you did the right thing. Madi isn’t used to these kinds of things. She never took a roller coaster before, she just needs a little more time. That’s okay, you did well.”
He checks Madi behind him and yes, she’s fine. The green has left her face and the cold sweat on her forehead starts disappearing. All Bellamy wants to do now is to bring her home and cuddle both her and Clarke on the couch, a new Disney movie on, but he knows it might not be a good idea. How would she feel if they left the fair now, right after this? She would think it’s her fault. She would blame herself, and if Bellamy wants one thing, it’s for Madi to keep only happy memories from this day.
The day she officially became Clarke’s daughter. A Griffin.
And Emori and John’s goddaughter, but that’s not the point.
He meets Clarke’s eyes over Madi’s shoulder and he can read in her blue worried gaze that she’s thinking the same, as always.
“Okay, why don’t we try something softer before going home?” she suggests, and a small smile immediately reappears on Madi’s face while she nods.
“I think you’d like the Ferris wheel, Mads,” adds Ethan, to Bellamy’s surprise. “We can see the whole city from the top, it’s so cool.”
“Really?”
“Yes, maybe it’ll give you some inspiration for your drawings? You know one day I saw—”
The kids start to walk towards the big wheel in front of them and Bellamy can only stare, dumbfounded before Clarke nudges him so they can follow them in the crowd.
“So, the Ferris wheel uh?” says his best friend just for him to hear. “Will that be okay for you?”
For a second there, listening to Madi and Ethan talk about the girl’s drawing in Art classes and how talented she is, Bellamy almost forgot that he was afraid of heights. And also, he had other plans, such as “ask Clarke why the hell she said no when Madi asked for him to be her godfather” plans.
“Oh. I thought we would wait for the kids to get down.”
“But you know I love the Ferris wheel. And with what just happened to Madi, I would feel better if I could keep an eye on her while she’s up there.”
Yes, that makes sense, actually.
“Although, I thought you would want to come with them too. Seems hard to keep this disapproving-protective daddy frown towards Ethan if you’re not.”
He chokes on nothing, hides his stunned expression behind the big and fluffy Pascal while he pretends to change its position in his arms. God, he’s been frowning at the boy like a disapproving and protective dad, hasn’t he?
Yeah but once again, he feels like he’s Madi’s dad. It’s not only that he wants to be. He feels like she’s his daughter. Like he wants to protect her, and annoy her, and tease her, and care for her, and be there like he’s been since the very day Clarke brought her home from the foster care. He doesn’t just want Clarke. He wants Madi too. He wants this family. Their family.
“You’re right,” Bellamy says in the end because that’s simpler than admitting all of this at the foot of a Ferris wheel while they all wait for him to decide if he’s coming or not.
He stays silent during the ride, tries not to appear too scared when they’re at the top and Madi starts to move and yelp and lean over to watch the city lights shining before her. He tries to focus on her happiness and the stars that brighten her blue eyes when Ethan laughs at something she said, but it’s hard.
For the record, he really hates heights. Fortunately, Clarke is here and it gets better when she slides her hand into his. He grips her like she’s his lifeline and for a minute, he’s okay with staying longer up here if it means he can keep her hand in his.
But the ride ends, they say their goodbyes to Ethan and return to their car. He drives Clarke and Madi to their apartment and he has to say, he’s excited for that part of the evening. Spending the afternoon at the fair was great, but eating pizza, popcorn, and chocolate in front of the TV, sandwiched between the two most important girls in his life is better. No offense to his sister. Octavia is important to him too, but she has her own life to live. Clarke and Madi, they’re his life.
That’s why he’s slightly disappointed when, thirty minutes after their arrival, he goes to open the door thinking the delivery man came early and comes face to face with Emori and Murphy.
“We brought food!” exclaims John with a big smile on his face.
Emori waves a champagne bottle and he has to force himself to smile back, to act warm, to invite them in.
The worst is, Clarke and Madi aren’t surprised to see them which means this was organized and he didn’t know about it. Why did no one tell him about it? He was so looking forward to this day and this evening, and in the end, John and Emori just kept ruining it for him. And in the process, they transformed him into this whiney asshole he doesn’t even recognize. He feels like he’s twenty-three and angry once more, like the world is against him and he has to go through everything alone again and he hates that.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Clarke asks him while they’re in the kitchen, looking for flutes and napkins.
“Are they going to stay long?” he hears himself asking—snapping, even, and he winces at his own harshness. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just—I was looking forward to spending some time with you and Madi alone, I’m just surprised that’s it.”
“You always spend time alone with me and Madi.”
“Yeah, but today is special.”
“It is, that’s why I invited the only two other people who supported us through all of this, Madi’s godparents—so we can celebrate with family.”
Family. He’s stuck on that word, that’s why he takes him a minute to catch on what Clarke is saying next.
“—was better if she wasn’t here tonight.”
What, Madi isn’t staying? Madi’s sleeping at her godparents’? That’s new. That never happened before. Even when Clarke was trying to date, she asked Bellamy to come and stay at her apartment to babysit Madi, she never made the girl sleep somewhere else before.
He’s so shocked that his next words are the most utter nonsense he has ever said in his life.
“But what about Rapunzel?”
Clarke looks at him like he’s crazy. He needs to get his act together, fast, before she throws him out of her house.
“Madi wanted to watch it,” he adds quickly.
She smiles at this and she looks almost fond, which, thank God, he really needs someone in his life that finds his quirks adorable but again, only Clarke seems to do so.
“Well, she can watch it with Emori and Murphy. Or we can watch it tomorrow morning when she comes back.”
“Tomorrow morning?”
“Yes,” she bites her lip and she almost looks worried for a minute. “Or … weren’t you planning on staying the night?”
Oh well, he made a habit of doing that, didn’t he?
First, it was because Clarke needed help during the nights. Madi suffered from severe night terrors at first and it wasn’t easy to deal with. Clarke didn’t even tell him at the time. Bellamy just noticed the circles under her eyes becoming darker and darker and how she seemed on edge all the time. One night, he had stayed a little longer for a movie after eating pizza. Clarke had fallen asleep on his shoulder on the couch so he had taken her to bed and decided to stay to clear things in the living room. It had been the first time he had witnessed Madi’s night terrors but also how Clarke was powerless to stop or calm them. At least, not when she was on the breaking point herself, not when she was hanging by a thread.
So Bellamy stayed. He helped. Two nights became a week, a week became a month, a month became three. After the night terrors, it had been time for Madi to start in her new school and for Clarke to go back to work. So he stayed again. And he helped again. And three months turned into six and six months in a year.
If Bellamy had to count, he would say that in three years, he crashed in Clarke’s guest room, maybe two years and a half total. Including the whole year when he tried to date Echo after realizing he was in love with his best friend and that these feelings were never going to be required.
Yeah, he dated a girl who never asked for emotional baggage just to try to get over his best friend. He never said he was a good guy but then again, he never promised anything to Echo. Anything besides good sex and an ear to listen to her rants about that coworker who never did anything right and pissed the hell out of her. Uh, that reminds him, he wonders how his ex and Hope are doing now that they got their shit together and went from coworkers who hated each other to lovers.
Anyway, back to the point: of course, he was planning to stay the night. But his excuse was always Madi. Now that Madi is spending the whole night at her godparents’, his excuses are out of the window.
He’s about to say exactly this: that since Madi isn’t here, Clarke doesn’t need him to stay, when she speaks first. He watches her gather some courage which feels weird because he doesn’t understand why she would need bravery to talk to him, and then—
“I need to talk to you about something, after. That’s why I organized Madi’s sleepover tonight. I mean, part of why.”
His stomach twists. His jaw clenches. His palms get immediately sweaty. It’s like he’s at the top of the Ferris wheel again but this time, grabbing Clarke’s hand would only make things worse because that sentence, it can be good, right?
It’s what Gina, Steve, and Echo all said to him before calling him out on his crush on Clarke and those three conversations did end in them breaking up.
He doesn’t have the time to ask what she wants to talk about. Or why she needs him alone to do so. Or why she seems so—not nervous, worse—embarrassed about it. In the other room, Murphy starts to chant for pizza, and soon, Madi is joining him and their weird moment is over.
Bellamy’s stomach twists again when he comes back to the living room but not for the same reason. Jealousy eats at him again when he notices that his little girl took a place on John’s lap and is giggling because he’s tickling her sides while Emori watches them fondly.
Sorry, not his little girl. Madi. What is he to her, anyway? Not her father, not her godfather, just one of her mom’s friends who sleeps in the guest room and is somehow always there.
Turns out, pizza doesn’t sound as great anymore. He barely touches his slice and stays mostly silent. He argues a little with Murphy because he likes pineapple on his pizza just fine, thank you very much. He cheers with the others to Madi and Clarke Griffin, though, champagne flutes clinking together and a genuine smile on his face because, of course, he’s happy for his best friend and for her daughter. The two girls belong with each other. Bellamy can’t imagine a life where they wouldn’t be together. His only problem is that he pictures himself there with them too.
The evening passes smoothly. Too slow but too fast at the same time. Too fast because he doesn’t want Madi to go. It’s stupid, he knows. She’s nine years old now, not a baby anymore, and she has made so much progress since the day she arrived here. He’s so proud of her and her clever mind, her big heart, her amazing character. He just wants to hold her in his arms, hugging her tightly and never letting go.
Uh, seems like this is how it feels to be a parent. Prepare your children to leave the nest with all the skills that they’ll need and pretend your heart isn’t broken when they actually go.
Come on, Bellamy. It’s just for the night. She’s nine, she isn’t going anywhere.
Eventually, the evening comes to an end. Madi starts to yawn and leans her head onto Bellamy’s shoulder and he doesn’t know how his heart doesn’t melt at the warmth invading his chest. The warmth turns into fucking lava the moment Emori notes how cute Madi and him are, and Murphy goes on about the perfect family picture they make together.
Here it is, this word again. Family. But family is more than blood, right? He learned that after thinking Octavia was all he had left and realized years later that it wasn’t true. He had Miller, and Murphy, and Emori, and Clarke. And now he has Madi. This is what family is, right? It’s the people that your heart chooses to keep close.
So he thanks John and Emori for the dinner, and wraps his arms closely around Madi when she says goodbye and bids them goodnight. The door closes behind the girl and her godparents with a soft click and then, Bellamy realizes that he’s alone with Clarke. With Clarke who wants to talk.
His stomach twists again while he turns to meet her gaze. He watches her and she looks at least as wrecked as he feels. Maybe Madi not staying with them tonight is affecting her more than what she was letting show. Or maybe what she has to say to him is a really big deal. She fidgets under his stare and she seems nervous when she asks:
“I think there’s some champagne left. Do you want some?”
“No thanks.”
“Okay, I’ll make some tea then.”
She disappears in the kitchen and he’s left here without really knowing what to do, like he’s some stranger in someone else’s home when really, he basically lives here more often than at his own apartment. So he cleans up the living room, throws out the pizza boxes and adjusts the pillows on the couch, and joins Clarke in the kitchen where they wash the flutes in perfect silence together.
Eventually, the living room is clean, the champagne and pizza leftovers are in the fridge, and the tea is hot in mugs placed in front of them. They’re both sitting next to each other at the kitchen island. It’s an unusual choice Bellamy made because he couldn’t bear the idea of this giant table separating them while all this tension swirled around them.
In the end, Bellamy scratches his throat and starts talking. He can’t take this tension anymore. If Clarke has something to say, whatever how much it hurts, he can hear it. They’ll make it through, he’s sure of it. Whatever it is, he won’t lose her, or Madi. Never.
“So, you said you wanted to talk to me?”
He watches her tighten her fingers around the steaming mug. She doesn’t look into his eyes when she answers.
“Yes, it’s about Madi, and our choice to make Emori and John her godparents.”
She suddenly seems so tense and nervous that guilt invades him. He did that, didn’t he? He made her feel that way because he couldn’t hold back his freaking jealousy and disappointment. God, he’s a horrible person. He made her feel like she had to send Madi away for the night so they could talk about his feelings and sort everything out on the evening of the very day Madi became a Griffin. See, that’s why he didn’t deserve to be her godfather in the first place. That’s why he doesn’t deserve to be anything more than that weird uncle staying forever single because he chose to pine for her mother. He already has the family he always dreamt of. Why does he always yearn for more and screw everything in the process?
“Clarke—” he starts, weak, as his throat closes and his voice breaks on her name. “I’m so sorry about today. I know I must be a terrible person for feeling jealous of Murphy of all people, but I couldn’t help it. I swear I tried. I tried to feel happy about Madi’s choice, your choice, and I am, I promise I am, but—”
“What are you talking about?” asks his best friend, frowning deeply at his nonsense.
“You told me Madi wanted to choose me as her godfather and I guess that in the end, you and her chose someone else and that’s fine. I just—I love her so much, and I was here for everything from the minute you came home with her that first day until now and—I’m not asking for anything, I swear. All I ever did, I did it for her and you, because you’re my family—”
“Hey.”
Clarke’s voice brings him back to the present moment as much as her warm hand on his forearm. Her blue eyes are bright and honest when she looks into his gaze. There’s something fierce about her when she speaks next.
“You’re my family too. I never lost sight of that. And I promise I never will.”
He swallows hard, fingers clenching around his own mug while the other hand flies and lands on the one Clarke kept on his arm, squeezing her fingers. It’s funny how her touch calms him while his seems to give her the strength she needed to start speaking.
“This is actually what I wanted to talk about. You said you love Madi and, of course, she loves you too. You have such a big place in her heart and in her life, and I don’t want for that to change, but—”
She stops talking then, and Bellamy holds his breath. Did she notice? Did she see how in love with her he is for years? Did she finally realize that while they were playing house together, all he was longing for was for this reality to become true? Does she want that to stop now that she’s officially Madi’s mom?
“Clarke… You know that no matter the role you want me to have in Madi’s life, I’ll take it, right?”
She has to know. She has to know that he’d do anything for her, for them both, right?
“If you need space, I’d understand.”
“It’s not that,” she breathes, biting her lip.
“Well, whatever the hell it is, just say the word, and we’ll find a way.”
“It’s not space that I need, Bellamy. Actually, it’s quite the opposite.”
He’s puzzled by her last words. The opposite of space? What is the opposite of space? He can’t make sense of the answer he finds with all the signals she sent him today. She chose Emori and Murphy instead of him. She invited them for dinner instead of spending time alone with him. She sent her daughter away instead of having a quiet family evening together. What even is the opposite of space if that means he can’t have what he yearns for and be a part of this family?
“I don’t understand, Clarke. What do you—”
She stops trying to explain with words then. Instead, she leans towards him and shows him by pressing her lips against his. He’s never been so glad not to be sitting on the other side of the kitchen island. He doesn’t waste a second. He responds right away, moving his mouth under hers slowly. He uncurls his fingers from the mug to cup Clarke’s cheek in his palm and then slides them into her hair and behind her neck when he feels her pulling away.
She doesn’t pull away too far away, though. She stays right here, hovering over his lips, her breath hot over his face. Champagne, pineapple and cotton candy in the air. And the brightness he caught in her blue eyes all day finally makes sense. Hope, vulnerability and love.
“I don’t want you to be Madi’s godfather, Bellamy,” she whispers.
He reads on her face and hears in the crack of her voice how difficult this is for her, to bare herself to him, to open her heart this way, to present it to him and let him do whatever the hell he wants with it.
“You’re too important to me.”
“You’re important to me too,” he answers right away, because it’s lighter than already saying he would marry her and adopt Madi in a heartbeat if she asked.
“You’re too important to Madi, too. You’re so much more than what a godfather is. And if you’re okay to give us a chance—If you’re okay with being more than that, then this is me, asking.”
He understands. Clarke is giving him a way out. Because what she is offering is so much more than a kiss or a fragile relationship.
“But if you’re not—I’m not gonna lie, it’d be hard, but we’d be fine, eventually. Because I can’t lose you, Bellamy. So if you don’t want this, I’d understand. We’d be okay.”
It’s a whole future that she offers him. A family, a big responsibility, an engagement. It’s not for everybody.
Fortunately, he’s not everybody. He’s so, so ready for this. He thinks he has been waiting for this all of his life. That’s why he tells her.
“Clarke, I’ve been in love with you since before you came back home with Madi for the first time. Of course, I want this.”
Her smile is so wide that it seems to brighten the whole world.
“Really?”
“God, yes. I’m in. I’m all in. I want everything.”
It feels so good, so organic, to finally say it out loud. To finally let himself want something and get it. Selfishly. For himself.
He kisses her, this time. It’s not hesitant anymore. It’s happy, open, and hungry. Her hands fall on his shoulders, fingers dancing slowly down his chest and it finally clicks: the reason Madi’s not here tonight.
He tears his mouth off of hers, smiling so wide that it’d be impossible to kiss anyway.
“You planned this.”
“I knew I wanted to talk to you.”
“Madi’s spending the night away. That never happened before.”
She slides her hands around his neck and her eyes are playful, a slow burn fire suddenly eating his insides and making his heart beat faster.
“I was hoping for this conversation to go well.”
“To go well, uh?” he answers, teasing. “And what would you have done if this went wrong?”
“Well, there’s still champagne in the fridge.”
And it’s so Clarke, planning everything, the best but also the worst that could happen, that he has to kiss her again. But this time, he gets up from his stool to wrap her in his arms. This time, he lets the happiness bubble up in his chest but doesn’t let his smile break their embrace. He opens his lips and teases hers with his tongue. He gasps when her teeth nip at his mouth, sighs when she opens for him. He tries to focus but she’s everywhere at once, against him, overwhelming him in the best way.
Her mouth is demanding against his. Her breasts press into his chest and he can’t deny that he thought about this. Her fingers graze his stomach where she pushes her hand under his shirt and he’s about to break and carry her into her bedroom when her doorbell rings loudly into the apartment.
They break the kiss, smiling and giggling and he can’t believe this is really happening. That he got not only the girl, but the whole family he was dreaming of. Tearing himself from her is difficult. He lets his fingers squeeze hers as she leaves the kitchen to head to her door and tries to compose himself to join her into the living room.
There, Murphy’s voice echoes and he tries not to laugh. The man really decided to ruin his day, it seems. But he doesn’t have the time to complain. Madi’s blue eyes catch his and she flies into his arms. He catches her mid-air and she grips onto him so tightly he’s worried for a minute that something’s wrong.
But Clarke briefly hugs John before closing the door behind him and turns to Bellamy, a smile floating on her lips and stars shining into her eyes.
“Seems like Madi didn’t feel like spending the night away after all.”
He tightens his grip around the girl.
“That’s okay. It’s a big step.”
“Are you sure?” says Madi, her voice muffled in his shirt. “I didn’t want to ruin your night.”
“You, ruining anything? Never.”
“We’re happy that you’re here, Mads. I told you, we go at your pace. Murphy and Emori aren’t going anywhere. They will be there whenever you’re ready.”
He feels her nod against him and then—
“Can we watch Tangled and eat popcorn, now?”
The smile he watches blossom on Clarke’s mouth is no doubt a perfect copy of the one widening his own lips.
“Of course we can. Why won’t you go look for Pascal in your bedroom while we set up the movie?”
She goes and Clarke waits for her to disappear up the staircase before wrapping her arms around Bellamy. She sighs against his chest, longing.
“I’m sorry. I know this isn’t ideal, but it’s all I’ve got.”
“You’re kidding, right?” he answers. “I’d choose this anytime. There’s no place in the universe I’d rather be.”
And he means it. As he lies on the couch, Madi on his right and Clarke on his left, popcorn bowl over his stomach, big fluffy green Pascal hiding half of the screen while Rapunzel and Eugene sing “I see the Light,” he finally understands why this movie is Madi’s favorite.
Everything is warm, and real, and bright, and Bellamy is exactly where he’s meant to be.