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“You can only stay here for one night, understand?”
“Uhh… Sorry Zag, but I’m leaving town? Yeah, that means…”
“Zagreus… I’m sorry--”
“I can pay for a hotel room for a few…”
Zagreus sniffles wetly. The duffle bag he’s spent the last three weeks living out of is at his feet. He scrubs his face with his hoodie sleeve. He’s tired of tears. God, it feels like all he’s done is cry lately. He probably has. Maybe that’s why he keeps getting kicked out.
It’s been three, three and a half weeks since Hades threw him out. With nowhere to go, his first instinct was to call Thanatos. He didn’t answer, so he went to Meg’s. Then Hypnos’. Then Thanatos, then a hotel Thanatos paid for… but now he’s… out of options. He’s supposed to be checking out of the hotel in less than two hours. He’s been cut off completely; he doesn’t have any money to pay for another hotel. And he can’t keep asking Than to help... He’d try Nyx… but she hasn’t contacted him since he left. He refuses to think about what that means.
He wipes away the snot dripping out of his nose.
He doesn’t want to go back home. Groveling at his father’s feet would destroy whatever is left of him. But he doesn’t have any other choice. It’d mean bending to his father’s whim. It’d mean cutting contact with Patroclus and Achilles.
That was what ultimately broke things between him and his father. Working for Pat, editing his videos, was defiance. He wasn’t following in Hades’ footsteps in the family business. He didn’t even think it was a big deal, but it was for his father. What little calm they had between them broke, and things spiraled out of control from there.
To go back home, it meant leaving Patroclus and Achilles. It would hurt… but he’s already taken so much at this point. Might as well bite the bullet.
Zagreus picks up his phone. With shaking fingers, he unlocks his phone and pulls up messages.
Zagreus: I’m sorry but I have to stop working. I’ll finish this week’s video, but I can’t keep working.
Zagreus holds his phone in his hands, looking down at the screen as the message is sent. If he’s lucky, Pat won’t respond right away. He’ll respond when Zagreus is already home again. That way, Zagreus can just…
Can just what?
He rubs his nose again. It’s hard to gather the courage to stand and move. Going back home would be it. He’d be done. Hades would win.
His phone buzzes. He looks down at it. It buzzes again-- shit-- Pat is calling him. His mind rips in two. One side is telling him to answer, to hear Pat’s voice one last time and to say goodbye. The other is telling him to cut it completely and spare himself the pain.
The first half wins.
He hits accept and raises the phone to his ear.
“Zagreus?” Pat’s voice filters in through the phone.
Zagreus bites down on his bottom lip to keep in a sob.
He hasn’t told Patroclus anything about what’s been happening. Zagreus works ahead; he has a couple of videos either ready to go or nearly there. He was able to find time to finish them up and send them off to Pat like nothing is wrong. When he left, he could only bring his laptop with him-- he doesn’t have the ability to work like he’s supposed to. So what was he thinking? Eventually he’d reach the end of the line and be unable to continue.
“Are you there?” Pat asks softly.
Zagreus closes his eyes and drops his head.
“Mhm.” He whispers.
He pictures Pat there, next to him. Holding him close. That warm voice cradling him.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“N-No? But it’ll be okay,” Zagreus’ voice shakes. “I can’t, okay? I won’t have time anymore.”
No, he’ll have nothing but time. Hades will punish him-- keep him on a short leash while he figures out what to do with his wayward son.
“Zagreus…” Pat tries again.
Zagreus can’t bite back this sob. It’s wet and ugly and he clamps his hand over his mouth.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he says against his palm.
“Zagreus-- ” Pat cuts in. “What is happening? What are you sorry for?”
Zagreus doesn’t know.
“I don’t…”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay,” Pat assures him gently.
“It’s not--!” Zagreus sobs. “It’s not--”
“It will be okay.” Patroclus’ voice is grounding. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
Zagreus takes a few, heaving breaths.
It is such a long, exhausting story…
He’s told Patroclus and Achilles bits and pieces of things. During their weekly “meetings”, where they hardly talk about actual business, he’s mentioned how his father has been especially shitty that week or other little bits about his homelife. Pat’s eyebrows would always knit and Achilles’ voice grew concerned. The two always asked if there was anything they could do, but Zagreus always brushed them off. They lived in the same city; they could, in theory, do something… but what?
How does he explain to Pat why he’s here and why he’s lied about the past three weeks and why he kept pushing off their “meetings”. Why why why why--
“It’s… my father…” Zagreus murmurs.
“Is he hurting you? Hitting--?”
“No, shit, no,” Zagreus cuts in sharply.
Hades would never. Words are his weapon of choice.
“It’s a lot… but I can’t keep working…” Zagreus takes a shuddering breath in, then out. “He kicked me out, but… I can’t…” He breaks off to sob. “I have to go home.”
“You can stay with us,” Pat says softly. “You don’t have to go back.”
Zagreus already had his eyes shut, but he squeezes them harder. He can’t do that to Pat and Achilles. He’s already been a burden to everybody else in his life. He doesn’t want to impose on the two men who have been nothing but kind to him these last few months.
“It’s okay,” Zagreus murmurs. “I’ll be fine.”
There’s a few beats of silence.
Something shuffles on Pat’s side of the call. He swears he hears whispering. Maybe it’s Achilles. He exhales shakily. He wished he could say goodbye with dignity.
“Can you give us one night?” Pat asks eventually. “Just stay with us for one night, at least.”
“I can’t…”
“Yes, Zag, you can,” Pat assures.
Zagreus shakes his head. He doesn’t want to bother them like that. “I don’t want to do that to you.”
“It’s not a bother if I’m offering,” Pat replies, seeming to read Zagreus’ mind. “Will you let us?”
Zagreus doesn’t respond right away. His mind is going in a million different directions and it’s incredibly difficult to try to think of something coherently.
“Okay,” he finally whispers.
“Thank you,” Pat murmurs.
What does he have to be thankful for? Zagreus wants to ask, but he bites his tongue. Can’t push his luck and make Pat overextend his kindness.
“Do you want us to pick you up?”
“Mhm.”
Zagreus rattles off the name of the hotel. He hears Pat repeat it to Achilles. There’s more whispering on their side. Zagreus sits still, looking down at his lap. He’s on his last pair of clean clothes; hopefully Pat and Achilles will let him do laundry. If he wasn’t so drained, he’d be embarrassed. The first time he’s meeting Pat and Achilles in person, and he looks like he’s been run over by a train, multiple times.
“We can be there in twenty minutes. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”
Pat’s been nothing but kind to him. It’s… Zagreus wants to shrug him off and tell him he’ll be okay. Fuck, he’s tried that, but Patroclus is nothing but persistent. He’s been like that since the day Zagreus met him, so why did he expect anything different? Though, he is not thinking logically, obviously.
“No… um, I’ll be fine.” Zagreus says. He doesn’t know how long it took to answer, and to be honest, he’s a bit afraid to know. “I have to check out and um…”
and he has to pull himself together as much as he can in twenty minutes. Wash the tears and snot off his face and finally comb his hair.
“That’s okay,” Pat hums. “I’ll text you when we’re outside.”
“Okay.” Zagreus whispers.
Pat murmurs a goodbye and then the line goes dead. Zagreus slowly lowers the phone, looking down at it as the screen goes dark. In the glossy screen, he can see his muddled reflection.
It takes him a few minutes to start moving. Eventually, he pockets his phone and pushes up off the bed. He wanders into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. It doesn’t do much to his mental state, but it is nice to feel a bit cleaner. He can probably take a shower when he gets to Pat and Achilles’ house while his clothes are in the laundry. He’ll sleep… then figure out what the fuck to do next.
Patroclus keeps checking his phone. He texted Zagreus that they’re outside about five minutes ago, but they’ve yet to see him. He’s leaning against the car, eyes flicking between his phone and the main door of the hotel. Achilles drove, telling Pat that he was far too jittery to drive. Achilles is still in the car, but he has the windows rolled down despite it being a chilly October morning.
“He’s probably still checking out,” Achilles says.
Pat is leaning against the passenger door, looking like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin. Achilles can’t remember the last time he saw his husband so wound up.
“I know, I know,” Pat murmurs as he exhales slowly.
Achilles frowns a bit, checking the rearview mirror.
He only heard Pat’s side of the phone call. Zagreus’ text had come in while they were getting up for the day. Pat was getting dressed as Achilles was finding the energy to get out of bed. When Pat checked his phone, his face had clouded over. Achilles asked what was wrong, and Pat read him the text before calling Zagreus. While on the phone, Achilles could only hear the soft murmur of Zagreus’ voice, and Pat’s gentle assurances. He had gotten out of bed at the mention of Zagreus’ father and stood next to Pat. Pat tilted his phone away from his ear so both could hear the remainder of the conversation.
They barely even got dressed before they left. Pulled on socks, shoes, and coats, then went out the door. The car ride had been silent-- not even the radio was on.
Now they sit, in a parking lot for a quite shitty hotel, waiting for Zagreus.
“Oh,” Pat’s voice draws his attention. Achilles looks over his shoulder and sees somebody walk out of the sliding doors.
“Zagreus…” he whispers. He quickly unbuckles and pushes open the door. He steps out, meeting Zagreus’ mismatched eyes.
Zagreus stands at the lip of the sidewalk, looking worse for wear. It breaks Achilles’ heart in two-- for months, he and Patroclus have been blessed with Zagreus’ presence, even if it’s just over video chat. He had hoped that meeting Zagreus in person for the first time would be under far better circumstances… so to see him like this is…
“Zag--” Pat starts. He steps forward, unsure of what to say.
Zagreus doesn’t seem to know either. He steps off the sidewalk, crossing the short driveway until he reaches Pat and Achilles’ car. Achilles comes around the trunk to greet him.
“Are you-- oomphf-- ”
Pat tries to speak, but as the words leave his mouth, Zagreus presses himself into Pat’s chest for a hug. Arms are thrown around his neck, forcing Pat to bend down to meet Zagreus’ height. Pat doesn’t hesitate to return the hug. He rests his chin on Zagreus’ head, folding inward to envelope him.
Zagreus is shaking and they’re unsure why. He could be crying, or he could be freezing, because he’s not even wearing a winter coat.
“Oh… let’s get you warm…” Pat murmurs.
Zagreus sniffles wetly and weakly. He is hesitant to move, but ultimately gets coerced into the backseat. He still holds onto Pat, now clutching his arm, forcing Pat to sit back there with him. Achilles gets back in the driver's seat, watching them from over his shoulder the whole time.
Pat is murmuring reassurances, eyes flicking between Zagreus and Achilles. Achilles' heart aches. Pat nods at him once, and Achilles knows it's time to go home.
------------
Their home is nice. Zagreus stands where the tile of the kitchen meets the hardwood of the living room. He's stared and studied this kitchen for months, but has never seen beyond the camera.
Their home is warm. Not in the temperature sense; things just feel… happy. Zagreus doesn't think his father's house ever felt like this. And he's only been here for a few minutes.
Pat's puttering around the kitchen, making Zagreus tea. Zagreus tried to dissuade him, but it was impossible. Zagreus finally decides to sit. He goes to the kitchen table and tucks his duffle bag under the chair as he sits. Achilles comes in from the mudroom, which sits between the garage and the kitchen. As he passes Pat, he kisses Pat's cheek.
Zagreus looks away awkwardly. He knows he's a stranger in this home-- witnessing their easy affection is only deepening his discomfort. Isn't he intruding? He probably disturbed their morning. It's only ten, he probably woke them up, he cut into their sleep, he he he he--
A mug is placed in front of him.
Zagreus swallows thickly, looking up. Pat and Achilles have sat down, apparently. (When did they do that? Why didn’t he notice?) They look at him with softness in their eyes. Zagreus knows they're expecting some kind of explanation.
He opens and closes his mouth a few times, unaware of where to start. He delays the inevitable by taking a sip of tea. The warmth of the mug between his palms is grounding.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Achilles asks.
Zagreus exhales shakily. Achilles' voice is better in person-- not filtered through a microphone then speakers. Patroclus’ too.
"I guess," he replies.
"You don't have to," Pat says, eyebrows furrowing.
"No, no, it's… I should," Zagreus says as he shrugs a shoulder. The false casualty feels wrong for the tone, but it's really all he knows how to do. It feels natural. "It’s just a long story.”
Pat hums. Him and Achilles both nod. A beat of silence passes. They’re going to let Zagreus direct the conversation, it seems.
“Things just… boiled over,” Zagreus continues. “He kicked me out about three weeks ago.”
“Three?” Pat’s voice is a bit louder than he intends. He looks sheepish and murmurs an apology.
“Three? Where have you been?” Achilles picks up the question.
“Staying with friends… I thought I’d have some more time to figure things out.” Zagreus takes another drink of tea. He’s never been the biggest tea drinker, so he doesn’t know what Pat made, but it’s good. Its warmth curls in his chest and the flavor lingers on his tongue. “Thanatos, uh, a friend of mine, paid for a hotel room for a few days… before… you know.”
“Mhm,” Achilles agrees.
“Why did you tell me you couldn’t…?” Patroclus asks.
Zagreus scratches the back of his head. Answering that question is like opening a can of worms that has been steadily growing for months.
“Uh…”
“You don’t--” Achilles starts.
“No,” Zagreus shakes his head. He wants to say something, anything, but it’s so damn hard. “I just don’t know where to start… my father’s been pushing me for months, trying to get me to stop working for you and work for him instead. If I went home… I’d have to stop…”
Realization washes over their faces. Zagreus looks down, staring into the mug of dark tea. There’s a lot he’s kept from them. He hasn’t told them at all about the ultimatums his father keeps pressing on him. Leave them or else, blah blah blah… he was just brushing it off for weeks, but now the situation is truly resting on his shoulders.
“Zag,” Pat says. He reaches across the table, resting a broad hand on Zagreus’ forearm. Zagreus glances down at it, trying to not look stupid. Fuck, his hands are huge--
“You can stay with us as long as you need,” Pat continues.
Zagreus doesn’t know what to say. The offer is… tempting. But there’s so much else to consider. He exhales slowly, trying to gather his thoughts.
“I’ll think about it,” he says finally.
Achilles nods without a word. Pat seems to be a little unsatisfied with his answer, but nods nonetheless.
“Is there anything you need right now, lad?” Achilles asks.
“Um…” Zagreus snorts a little, even though nothing is funny right now. “Can I use your laundry machine?”
“Of course,” Achilles replies without second thought.
The day passes quietly.
It was already going to be a slow day at home, but Zagreus being around kept them even more relaxed. Pat gives him a tour of their little ranch home; poking through the rooms before finally showing Zagreus the guest room where he’ll be staying. Zagreus stays in there for a bit, waving off their concern so he can take a nap.
Patroclus is obviously nervous, pacing about the living room. Achilles reigns him in, deciding that the two of them will sit down and work. Achilles will take care of his business reports and Pat will plan out the next few videos. It works, passing the time until Pat starts getting dinner ready.
Dinner is a quiet affair as well.
They make small talk. Zagreus is still wound up and closed off. Achilles and Pat let him talk when comfortable, and instead fill the space with soft chatter about nothing important.
After dinner, Zagreus insists on helping them clean up. He doesn’t take no for an answer, and helps dry the dishes as Achilles cleans them. Afterwards, they move into the living room, watching a movie about… something. The night ends early, with Zagreus taking his clean clothes back to the guest room then stepping into the bathroom to shower.
Achilles and Pat linger for some time longer in the living room, leant against one another.
“Doesn’t he have a mother?” Pat whispers, even though the shower is still running from the hall bathroom. It’s near impossible that Zagreus can hear them.
“I think so,” Achilles replies. His legs are resting across Pat’s lap, fingers fiddling with the hem of the blanket that covers them both. “I… I don’t know…”
“Me too.” Pat tilts his head, resting it against his husband’s. “I hope he’ll stay here. I don’t want to let him go.”
“Me too,” Achilles echoes. “Does that make us selfish?”
“Hardly,” Pat says as he shakes his head. “We want what’s best for him.”
“Of course.” Achilles says.
“That hardly makes us selfish.” Pat shifts, brushing his nose across Achilles’ forehead. He pauses, resting his lips in Achilles’ hair in a soft, extended kiss.
Achilles hums softly, eyes sliding shut. Even though they’ve spent the day doing nothing of importance, he’s still exhausted. He can’t even imagine how Zagreus feels. He looked awful in the backseat-- beaten down and shoulders heavy with the weight of the world on them. Achilles hopes that he and Patroclus can lessen the burden. They’ve… well, it’s hard to describe, really. They’ve grown fond(?) of Zagreus. It’s hard to put actual words on it, since they walk the line somewhere between the fondness of friendship and the desire for something more. They obviously will not push him; Zagreus has far too much to deal with. Besides, maybe he would feel the pressure of reciprocating their feelings in order to stay.
That, however, is something they will deal with in the future.
For now, the shower in the hallway shuts off.
Achilles stirs. “I’m going to bed.”
“I’ll be in in a bit,” Patroclus replies.
Achilles hums, kissing his husband chastely on the lips before he stands. Pat watches him walk through the living room and into the hall. Once he’s alone, Pat turns his eyes back to the dark screen of the TV. He can see, vaguely, his reflection. He’s exhausted too. Fortunately, it’s the weekend. Achilles has another day off before he has to go back into work. He himself has to go to the grocery store tomorrow for ingredients. Maybe Zagreus can join him… To help Zagreus feel better, he could make soup or his favorite food…
Pat lingers in his thoughts for a bit. Thinks about nothing, really. Just… floats there for some time. Eventually, he leans over and turns the tableside lamp off. He stands with a soft grunt and shuffles with socked feet down the darkened hall to bed.
However, as he is about to push open his bedroom door, he hears a noise from across the hall. Directly across from the master bedroom is the guest one. The walls are unfortunately thin; it’s easy to hear voices from the hallway. He pauses, hand hovering over the doorknob.
The noise comes again.
He half-turns, looking at the closed guest door. No light comes from under it. Maybe Zagreus is asleep? Then what--
oh.
It’s a sob.
Patroclus’ eyes widen as he hears another strangled sob. A wet, shuddering breath follows.
Pat stands there for a quiet minute. It feels wrong to be listening to Zagreus cry, when he is so obviously trying to keep quiet. But… he wants to help. He wants to step in, pull Zagreus into his arms and swaddle him.
He can’t though. Not… not now. Soon, hopefully. But not now.
It hurts his chest and breaks his heart, but he ultimately turns away. He steps into his bedroom and lets the door shut behind him, leaving Zagreus alone.